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Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2022 10:58 pm
by G. Janssen
Human: So you don't drink animal milk?
Loroi: Of course not. It's unsanitary! It comes out of an animal's udder!
Human: But you do eat eggs...
Re: Outsider humour thread
Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2022 3:29 pm
by Krulle
I don't think so, Gé, the time frame is too short, and to find out it works as a shield, you'd need cooperating telepaths...
Also, eggs are naturally packaged.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2022 11:00 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Fireblade: </“I think I have discovered what can do the same amount of work as 10 Gallen Lonzets.”\>
Tempo: </“And what would that be?”\>
Fireblade: </“A hundred humans.”\>
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Sun May 01, 2022 12:14 am
by Keklas Rekobah
Q: Why do Earth men prefer Loroi women for wives?
A: Because when they return to Earth with their new wives . . .
. . . their mothers-in-law are light-years away!
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Sun May 01, 2022 2:04 am
by Keklas Rekobah
It is R&R at the Perrein Orbital Citadel. Fireblade meets Beryl coming out of the Exchange, and notices the package under Beryl’s arm.
Fireblade: <?>
Beryl: <Barsam love tonic. I got it for Alex.>
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Sun May 01, 2022 2:11 am
by Keklas Rekobah
Loroi are telepathic.
Humans are telepathetic.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Sun May 01, 2022 4:25 am
by avatar576
Keklas Rekobah wrote: ↑Sun May 01, 2022 2:04 am
It is R&R at the Perrein Orbital Citadel. Fireblade meets Beryl coming out of the Exchange, and notices the package under Beryl’s arm.
Fireblade: <?>
Beryl: <Barsam love tonic. I got it for Alex.>
That one's gold
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Sun May 01, 2022 9:00 am
by G. Janssen
Telepathetic! Why didn't I think of that one?
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 1:33 am
by Keklas Rekobah
Stillstorm: <Open channel to Historian vessel.>
Antimony: <Yes, Lashret!>
. . . Time passes . . .
Stillstorm: <Delay? Explain!>
Antimony: <Data message only.>
Stillstorm: <On screen.>
”Greetings, Tempest. We see you are using an ad blocker . . .”
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 1:53 am
by Keklas Rekobah
Keklas Rekobah wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 10:35 pm
Alex and Tempo were alone for a moment.
Tempo: "Do you have any questions so far?"
Alex: "Well, yeah ... but it's ... well ... kinda embarrassing."
Tempo: "After all we have been through, Enzin, there is no need for embarrassment. What is your question?"
Alex: "Well, I was just wondering if Fireblade ever ... uh, you know ...
thinks about me ... I mean ..."
Tempo: "Fantasizes? She most certainly does! All the time!"
Alex: "Wow! Really? What ..."
Tempo: "Yes. She fantasizes about you..."
"... being shot, stabbed, incinerated, and blown out the airlock!"
Alex (in English): “Well, you can tell her that her mother wore army boots!”
[Beryl and Fireblade walk in.]
Fireblade: <It speaks insult?>
Tempo: <Uncertain . . . Beryl?>
Beryl: <Maybe . . . “Your maternal parent dressed in the footgear of a soldier”>
Fireblade only smiled and nodded her head.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 2:16 am
by Keklas Rekobah
Alex and Beryl were dating
Alex was patiently waiting
For signs of romance
Soft words, a slow dance
What he got was an efficiency rating!
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 7:19 am
by Krulle
Oh Keklas.
Nice.
Well done, thank you!
Pretty sure it won't be an "efficient" rating.
That poem reminds me of "Aurelie" by Wir sind Helden (a German song, about a French lady living in Germany and not understanding the flirting signals by German males...)
Oh, and I smiled at the ad-blocker message.
If running an ad-blocker prevents the Historians from installing Pocket Historians(TM) on my devices, I will install them everywhere right away.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 3:47 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Alex: Why did the Historian cross the road?
Pocket Historian: You would not comprehend the real answer.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 3:50 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Q: How many ears do Gallen caste-members have?
A: Three . . .
A left ear, a right ear, and an engine-ear!
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 4:31 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Beryl: “You had better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
Alex: "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
Beryl: "Ask a glass of water!”
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 4:40 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Beryl: "Did your Einstein develop a theory about space?"
Alex: "Yes, and it was about time, too!"
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 5:07 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
I think the events on page 175 could have gone something like this:
Alex: "*cough* *cough* It's *cough* strong! Can't you find some milk?"
Beryl: "In space, no-one can. Here, use cream."
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 5:16 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Q: Why did the TCA choose Linux as its official operating system?
A: Because you can't open Windows in space.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 5:20 pm
by Keklas Rekobah
Alex: "What was that alcove used for, anyway?"
Tempo: "Cargo space."
Alex: "I find that difficult to believe."
Tempo: "Why is that, Enzin?"
Alex: "Because . . .
. . . car no do that. Car go road. Car not go space."
Re: Outsider humor thread
Posted: Tue May 03, 2022 7:05 pm
by Snoofman
A Swede asks a Gallen, "Why is your caste crazy?"
The confused Gallen answers back, "We are not crazy."
The Swede insists, "Yes, you are. Everyone calls you that."
"But our caste is called Gallen."
"Exactly!"