[Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

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sunphoenix
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by sunphoenix »

Nice story! Very Cool! I guess Sonnidezzi is just not very trigger-happy for a Teidar! She never managed to get pushed into feeling the need to unleash a lethal use of her electrokinetics on human soldiers... but the situations were different, she had waaay more control of the encounter and she was indeed one of the original interrogators of Ensign Jardin... so she is in that waaay more familiar with humans than poor Teidar Gladius. Lucky her! :)
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Well, next part is about halfway finished, will post it soon. :)
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Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Yay, some Monday-work-reading! ;)
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Oh my, that chapter was a hard one. While the ones before basically wrote themselfs, I needed at least 4 rewrites to get it done. It much shorter than it should have been, but I decided to change a few things to get it done. I hope its enjoyable, nevertheless.

------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 12: Tamara

The Fähnrich couldn't remember what had happened. It just felt as if a freighttrain had hit and thrown her against a wall. She didn't know how much time had passed since then, and the moment she regained her conciousnes. A confused feeling filled her mind and she needed a moment to understand what had happened to her. She was on the floor, in front of a wall, in a dark room. Then she could heard the familiar voice of Matrose Haverkamp, but it took her some time, till her mind was able to understand him.

"...alright?"
"What? ... What happened?"
"I don't know exactly. Are you able to move?"
"Not sure..."


As she had answered him, her memories came back to her. How she tried to help and something invisible had hit her. Hard.
She tried to stand up. But here was this strange pain in her head and leg. She had trouble standing upright and Haverkamp came to her aid. He layed his arm around her back and helped her stand. After a few moments, it was clear to her, that something in her right leg must have been broken, as even the smallest step she took was filled with pure, elemental pain than ran right through her body.

"Whats wrong?"
"Its just my leg... I think something is broken."
"Ok, ok... Keep calm, I will get you out of here..."


However, their conversation was cut short by the Maats voice:

"Is the Fähnrich well? I need her here!"

She tried to focus on the Maat and Haverkamps answer to him, to figure out what was going on, as she realized that there was another on of these blue strangers, talking to him. It seemed like they had a problem in understanding each other. Something she was confidened she could help with.
Matrose Haverkamp helped her getting to the Maat, who became even more impatient with every minute that had passed since then.

"Are you on your way?"
"We will be there any second."


Haverkamp answered for her, as the pain made it hard for her to speak while walking, even with the aid of the Matrose.
The she saw here for the first time, something she would never forgett in her entire life. Like the stranger she had seen before, it was a woman, wearing some kind of unknown armor. Her hair was long and red. However, she looked to be in a bad shape. Her arm seemed to be broken and she leaned against the Wall, while her face showed her, that that unknown person must have been in pain.

So the two of them started to speak and she noticed that her English was kind of awkward, as she answered her. It was clearly not her native tongue.

"Thank you, Faehnrich Ludovski. I am pleased to meet you. My titel is Listel Tozet Beitil..."
"Listel Tozet Beitil? Is that your name?"
"Yes. My spoken name means 'Antimony'. Listel is the name of my caste and Tozet is my military rank. You can adress me as Tozet or Antimony."
"Your spoken name?"
"Yes. The meaning of my name."
"Oh... I... I think I understand. My rank is Fähnrich, the name of my family is Ludovski and my personal name is Tamara."
"Is Tamara your spoken name? What does your personal name mean?"
"You can call me Fähnrich Ludovski or Tamara. I guess my personal name means something like 'the one who loves the land', at least thats what my mother told me. Anyway... can you tell us where you are from and... what you are?"
"I am sorry. Spoken words and diplomacy are not duties of my cast. We are Loroi and here on a diplomatic mission. Our assigned Mizol, our diplomatic officer, should have been speaking to you, but it seemes that she is uncon..."


A sudden movement on the floor interrupted her conversation. One of these strange woman, these Loroi, started to move again. She could see that there were marks on her armor that looked like the impacts of bullets. Maat Geißler immideatelly poited his gun on her, to her head to be more precise. She looked furious and very angry. But somehow the Fähnrich could obeserve, how between the one on the ground and that redhaired one called Antimon, some kind of wordless conversation started. Both of them started to gesticulate with their hands and after a short while, Antimon adressed her again.

"I am very sorry for what happened before. This is Teidar Senzon Nomina. She seemed to have thought you would be here to do us harm. She is of the Teidar caste, the unsheathed. Her spoken name means 'Gladius'."

It took Ludovski a while to really understand what was going on: that this was humanity's first contact with an alien species. One that apparently didn't need 'spoken words' to communicate. She thought that it would be better not to mention that missile that shot them down, at least at this point.
Last edited by Suederwind on Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Very enjoyable.
Thank You!

Now the question comes: HOW do the Loroi know enough English to be able to discuss a bit?

And a question for You:
How much of the comic story is part of your background?
Your Loroi came to Earth because of Alexander.
Who got sent on his mission because of the Orgus who have come to Earth during their flight from the Umiak.
So, Earth did already have knowledge of Aliens.
Or did you think that a major project like building several scouts, having an alien ship in orbit, ..., can be done without the knowledge seeping?
I understood the Prologue of Outsider such, that at least the Orgus have become general knowledge on Earth.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

No problem. Working on chapter 13 and hope it will be done soon.

Well, I guess I had to trick here a bit. The background of the comic goes to the point when Alex and his Loroi companions leave the system they are currently in. I guessed that Beryl had enough time by then to learn some English and send those information to her fellow Listel. Ugly way of storytelling, but necessary.

However there is something, I assume you did not get and I hope its not because of my poor writing. Indeed, I think that a mission as big and important as the one, the humans undertook to contact the Loroi, is almost impossible to hide. Information will always leak out, one way or another. Humans on earth or the colonies will know that there are aliens out there and some will have meet an Orgus or seen one in the news. Some will know that there is a mission underway and a few will have heard about the war between the Umiak and Loroi.

So a hint for you: One of the inspirations of this story was the thought, what would happen to a ship and its crew, when a jump went wrong.
And a question for you, too: Why would those soldiers not know about the Loroi?
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Krulle
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Okay, alternative universe...
Thought so before, but it slipped my mind a bit....

Are the Loroi and Umiak even at war in this universe...? Or would that be spoilerish?
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Okay, alternative universe...
Well, maybe, I would say, as we do not know at the moment how our heroes trip with the shuttle will end.
Are the Loroi and Umiak even at war in this universe...?
Yes, they are at war.

Anyway, some of those issues will be adressed later in the story.
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raistlin34
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by raistlin34 »

Krulle wrote:Okay, alternative universe...
Thought so before, but it slipped my mind a bit....

Are the Loroi and Umiak even at war in this universe...? Or would that be spoilerish?
Er.... The first contact with the Orgus is what set into motion the whole plot of Outsider. Removing that leaves a lot of holes.

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by JQBogus »

I dunno if this would count as a spoiler, since I am just guessing but...
SpoilerShow
The Loroi had a bad jump.

The bad jump shunted them back in time, or the next best thing to it.

If they're back in time and the the "many worlds" (copenhagen) interpretation is not in use, then, for whatever reason, their early arrival is not recorded or remembered by 2162. The problem with this possibility is that the Loroi-Umiak war would not be happening, while Suederwind has said that it is.

Or they're back in time and alternate universe split off at the moment of their arrival. In this case, things could be very different on Earth, and in the entire Orion arm by 2162. Again, though, if they're simply back in time, the Loroi-Umiak war wouldn't be happening.

The last possibility, and one that keeps the Loroi-Umiak war as a happening thing, is that the bad jump shifted the Loroi to an alternate universe that is much the same, except Earth's history is offset by ~150 years.

In any case, the technology and particularly the German's ship (S-73 Hermelin, built 1983, currently one of the last of its class in service) seems to point to the Earth in this story being current day. The German navy might re-use a ship name in 150 years time, but I am pretty sure they wouldn't give it the same alphanumeric designation of S-73.

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

So, time for the next chapter.

Edit: Its smaller than I had thought at first, corrected a few things.
-------------------------

Chapter 13: Feelings

Waiting, that was what he hated most in his life. Watching how time passed by, unable to do anything usefull, to be more precise. He always tried to do at least something, regardless of how stupid it might have been, like counting the number of clouds on the horizon. 42. And he had checked that number three times by now, since Geißler and the others left. So Kaleun Heinemann looked on his watch and, out of bad habit, started speaking to himself.

"An hour... Sixty minutes... Whats going on over there?"

He nervously started tapping on the rails in fron of him, while observed the unknown craft with his binoculars. There had been no contact with the boarding party since they left, but he was sure he had heard gun shoots a while ago. Maybe that mad Oberleutnant had been right? He kept wondering. Maybe shooting it first and letting someone else taking care of the rest would have been a better idea.

After another five minutes of waiting he had enough. Heinemann pushed the button of the intercom and spoke to Kessler, the boats helmsman. He was aware that everyone on board could hear him, too.

"Kaleun speaking. Get us closer, about 250m. And Müller, get that big gun of yours pointed at that thing, but do not shoot without orders. Is that clear?"

Pleased, he observed as Hermelins gun turret started to turn in the direction of that unknown craft and he feelt the vibrations, as the ships engines briefly came back to life.
He then looked over his shoulder, to one of the Matrosen manning the machinegun there. 

"Keep your eyes peeled. Report if something starts moving."
"Aye-aye, Herr Kaleun!"


Still, his nervousness didn' t got any better and he asked himself what was wrong with him. This was not his usual self. 
After long moments of think about it, he had to admit to himself, that he was worried for the Fähnrich. For Tamara.

He knew that Geißler and his men were experts. Heinemann had no doubt that they would be alive no matter what was in that thing and would come back with an amazing story. But Ludovski was different. She was inexperienced, fragile and fresh from the academy, so why on earth had he send her with Geisslers men? And why did he feel guilty for doing so? Sure, she was kind of cute, but he never had any feelings for her, except now. It wasn't love or affection he was feeling, more like the feelings a father would have for his daughter. He looked after her since she was abord and he hoped that Admiral von Schneider would not punish her for his faults of the past.

Duty on a Schnellboot was considered rough and Heinemann knew that if something would happen to her, his short career would become even shorter. Thats why she had her own shower and didn't had to share her bunk with anyone else.

It was the voice of the Matrose in his rear, that got him out of his thoughts again.

"Herr Kaleun, there is movement on the craft..."

Heinemann immediatelly pointet his binoculars on the UFO again and he could see Geissler looking out of the door they had entered. He looked behind him for a moment and he could see his lipps moving, as if he was talking to someone he could not see. After turning his head again to hermelin, he activated his radio. Ludovskis replacement at communications was clever enough to pass the message right through the Kaleun.

"Geißler to Hermelin. Can you hear me?"
"Yes, loud and clear. Heinemann speaking. Whats going on over there?"
"Well... Thats kind of hard to explain. Let's just say that we have found some... visitors... inside."
"Visitors? Like Tourists? That thing doesn't look like a cruise liner to me..."
"Herr Kaleun, thats really... not easy to explain... and I assume the whole situation is way above my rank anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"I would suggest you come over here and see for yourself."
Last edited by Suederwind on Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:32 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

@JQBogus:
SpoilerShow
Yes, they had a bad jump and they are not were they supposed to be. Yes, the German Military is running on a tight budegt, but even I can't imagine that they would keep a boat like the Hermelin in active duty for almost 180 years.
There is indeed something strange going on, but what exactly is something that will be adressed later in the story, aka Spoilers! :)
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by GeoModder »

Hypertimejumping? Quite the achievement, even if by accident.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Krulle »

Time jump?
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by sunphoenix »

"Libera Te Tutamet Ex Inferis!"

...but certainly hell is not Germany? They should feel very VERY lucky, they could have jumped and arrived... nowhere or somewhere much MUCH worse! :) Love the story!
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Absalom »

sunphoenix wrote:"Libera Te Tutamet Ex Inferis!"

...but certainly hell is not Germany? They should feel very VERY lucky, they could have jumped and arrived... nowhere or somewhere much MUCH worse! :) Love the story!
They promptly get drafted, and the Admiral doesn't like them any more than Heinemann: Hell may not be Germany, but it can be any post where your superiors have it out for you :P .

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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Thanks! They are indeed very, very lucky. You will find out later, why.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by GeoModder »

What's next? We find out the origin of Walküres in Norse mythology? :P
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

GeoModder wrote:What's next? We find out the origin of Walküres in Norse mythology? :P
That was, indeed, my first idea for a fanfic. 8-)

Edit: Working on the next part, but need to finish something else first.
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Re: [Fan Fiction]Calm Seas

Post by Suederwind »

Didn't have much time this week, so this part is a bit late. Hope you enjoy it, anyway.


Chapter 14: Lotai

Surprise was the best way to describe, what Mizol Lightning and the other crewsisters felt, as they realized what had happened. It confused her and the others, that they could not sense those unknown Aliens, till she remembered what Tempo had told her:

"You will not sense them. Their lotai is perfect."

She had thought of it as some kind of joke. No species was able to totaly mask their signature . This was unheard of. Yes, there were some species with a high degree of resistance against their telepathy and some highly trained Mizol cast members were able to hide themselfs and their signatures. However, the later was something that required a lot of training, concentration and was exhausting over long periods of time. These aliens on the other side seemed not even aware of this ability. Even without Antimonys explanations, she knew that there was only one species that would fit those charateristics: humaniti.

Equally surprising to here was, that most of them appeared to be males. She had read the information from Tempo carefully, to prepare herself for that mission, but seeing them in the flash was something very different. Their voices were lower than that of a typical Loroi male and they seemed much more muscular and taller, too. But that was not the most surprising thing to her. She knew about the physical simillarities, but when the human that was called "Maat" looked in her direction, as she came closer, she noticed something odd: there was hair around his mouth. Something very odd and ugly, she had to admit to herself. So there were differences between them, she thought for a moment and then she noticed the unknown female standing beside that male, talking to Antimony. A second male stood beside that female and was holding her arm, giving her some support while she was standing. It seemed that she was injured.

Again, she had read the reports about the other bodies they salvaged from that unknown vessel. But seeing a female of humaniti alive, again, was something very different. From what she could see in the darkness of the cabin, the human female appeared almost like a Loroi, except the color of her skin and those strange round ears. Her skin looked very pale, her eyes had a strange yellowish color and her hair looked kind of golden, when the light of the flashlights reached it.

She decided that she had observed enough, it was time to step in and take over this conversation from Antimon.

"...will that be a problem?"

It was a good thing, that the Listel was able to understand what the human female said and translate it for her. The language called "English" by the human ambassador still sounded like gibberish to her. She hoped that Antimony would not need to translate what she had to say, too.

The human called "Maat" became more and more nervous, the closer she got to them. By sanzai, she was tolled what happened so far by Antimon and Gladius. So it was time to introduce herself.

"I am sorry, that I could not participate... in this discussion sooner. My name is Mizol Lennai Daza... My spoken name means lightning... I am the diplomatic officer of this mission."

She had to take a few brief moments to think about what to say and how to say it, in that awkward language of humaniti.
The two humans looked at each other for a moment and spoke in an unknown language, that Antimony refered to as "Deutsch" and was unable to translate it. It sounded much harder and less gentle than the "English" she tried to speak. She just hoped that they would understand her. After a few moments, the human female adressed her.

"I am happy to get to meet you. My name is Fähnrich Tamara Ludovski, but you can call me Tamara or Fähnrich Ludovski. Fähnrich is my rank and Ludovski is the name of my family. Tamara is my personal name."

In a strange gesture, the human hold her open right hand in front of her, as if she was offering something. Puzzled, Lightning looked back at her.

"Uhm... Oh... Yes..."

The human suddenly stuttered. She then added:

"I... had forgotten... Antimony already told me, that you don't like to touch others. This is... a gesture of good will and peacefull intentions. I meant no offense."
"And no offense was taken, Fähnrich Ludovski... Does Fähnrich mean you are also a diplomatic officer?"
"No, I am not a diplomatic officer. I am responsible for communications aboard our ship."
"Your ship?"
"Yes... Its not far from here... we were just discussing, that our commanding officer would like to meet you as well."
"I understand..."


Lightning crossed her arms in front of her, something she always did, when she had to think about something. If they had a ship nearby, then maybe they could bring them back home. Anyway, their mission was not a failure, as she first had thought.

She then added:
"I would like to meet him... too."
"Thats good to know. I will inform him about it."


Somehow their discussion was cut short, as one of the other humans in back of the cabin, that she hadn't noticed because of the darkness, yelled something.

"Maat Geißler, hier dringt Wasser ein!"

 
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