What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

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Krulle
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Krulle »

That's what I get for wanting to be complete without a telltale "last edited"....
Still reading, will edit this post even more later....
SpoilerShow
If you dislike or not want these corrections, tell me and I'll stop proposing them. Your work is fine without these corrections.
[edit]Edits have been done, no more use for the text here[/edit]
Dang. If I were Alex I would want to know how much Fireblade has been conversing with Tempo and Beryl during that conversation. And how much the girls know about this conversation. And if they planned anything besides taking a shower.
I'm sure all of the warriors are protective of Alex, and would be deeply jealous if one jumped him before the others.
After the Hos'te Blec decission to take matters onto themselves, they likely would come to an agreement in cases where Alex is willing in how to tackle him.

Dang. Now I have a fantasy in my mind. I am such a dirty old man.

Very well written.
For the speed you show, I am astonished how few typing errors I stumble over. Tremendous work.
By content and in non content-relevant details.

*Aplauds*
Last edited by Krulle on Fri Jul 08, 2016 6:43 am, edited 6 times in total.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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sunphoenix
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by sunphoenix »

:)

I LOVE how though Stormrage's story is essentially over.. the elements of her subplot keep coming up in the main story! Great writing~ As Always!
PbP:
[IC] Deep Strike 'Lt' Kamielle Lynn
[IC] Cydonia Rising/Tempest Sonnidezi Stormrage
[IC] Incursion Maiannon Golden Hair
[IC] TdSmR Athen Rourke

"...you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is Kill him."

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Krulle wrote:Dang. If I were Alex I would want to know how much Fireblade has been conversing with Tempo and Beryl during that conversation. And how much the girls know about this conversation. And if they planned anything besides taking a shower.
Is Fireblade the type to employ any kind of subterfuge whatsoever? If she were inviting him to an orgy, she would say so. :P

That invite is actually because she acknowledges him as an equal - she's treating him as 'one of the girls' so to speak.
I'm sure all of the warriors are protective of Alex, and would be deeply jealous if one jumped him before the others.
Jealousy over sex partners isn't really a natural reaction for modern Loroi psychology. They might be upset if they weren't consulted, but not because of jealousy.
After the Hos'te Blec decision to take matters onto themselves, they likely would come to an agreement in cases where Alex is willing in how to tackle him.
Heh, they would want to talk any such thing through, yes.
Dang. Now I have a fantasy in my mind. I am such a dirty old man.
Don't worry. I'm sure whatever you're thinking of, Alex is thinking of it, too. :P
Very well written.
For the speed you show, I am astonished how few typing errors I stumble over. Tremendous work.
By content and in non content-relevant details.

*Aplauds*
Thank you.
Last edited by ShadowDragon8685 on Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:20 pm, edited 4 times in total.

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

sunphoenix wrote::)

I LOVE how though Stormrage's story is essentially over.. the elements of her subplot keep coming up in the main story! Great writing~ As Always!
In fairness, I had been planning something like this the whole time. Stormrage's story, whilst awkward to work in, gave me an excuse. :P



Also, Krulle? Could you not with the size tags in your post? Somewhere is a size tag that got snipped and messed up the formatting of my whole post and I'm damned if I can find it. :P

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sunphoenix
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by sunphoenix »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: In fairness, I had been planning something like this the whole time. Stormrage's story, whilst awkward to work in, gave me an excuse. :P
Yeah...{snicker}.. I know. A story character.. is not exactly the same as a role-playing character! They are similar but where role-playing characters are subject to each player's individual interpretation of the genre.. they don't always mesh with a overarching theme of a story written and not reacted to... like most role-playing games.
PbP:
[IC] Deep Strike 'Lt' Kamielle Lynn
[IC] Cydonia Rising/Tempest Sonnidezi Stormrage
[IC] Incursion Maiannon Golden Hair
[IC] TdSmR Athen Rourke

"...you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is Kill him."

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Also, Krulle? Could you not with the size tags in your post? Somewhere is a size tag that got snipped and messed up the formatting of my whole post and I'm damned if I can find it. :P
I'm not Krulle, but button what you needed located on right side of BB-code pannel, named "Font size".

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Tamri wrote:
ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Also, Krulle? Could you not with the size tags in your post? Somewhere is a size tag that got snipped and messed up the formatting of my whole post and I'm damned if I can find it. :P
I'm not Krulle, but button what you needed located on right side of BB-code pannel, named "Font size".
Yes, I'm aware of that. The problem is that I am quoting his text, which includes his size tags. I don't want to go through his post to excise each and every last size tag because it's disrespectful and kind of skeevy to materially alter someone's post when you quote it.

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Yes, I'm aware of that. The problem is that I am quoting his text, which includes his size tags. I don't want to go through his post to excise each and every last size tag because it's disrespectful and kind of skeevy to materially alter someone's post when you quote it.
Delete tag [size] in the message and, selecting part of the text what you need to change, select font size what you needed on the list.

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Tamri wrote:
ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Yes, I'm aware of that. The problem is that I am quoting his text, which includes his size tags. I don't want to go through his post to excise each and every last size tag because it's disrespectful and kind of skeevy to materially alter someone's post when you quote it.
Delete tag [size] in the message and, selecting part of the text what you need to change, select font size what you needed on the list.
Tamri, that is literally exactly what I said I did not wish to do.

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Tamri, that is literally exactly what I said I did not wish to do.
:D Sorry, i lost this part.

Combination: {Edit} -> [Ctrl+F] -> <size> -> [Enter] - not the variant?

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: I know your instincts are ready to mate, and I do not consider it terribly relevant. What do you feel?"[/size]
Variant. That's where your problem is. As I thought - unclosed tag near the end.
Last edited by Tamri on Thu Jul 07, 2016 7:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Tamri wrote:
ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Blinking a few times, Alex bit his lip, glancing down, Fireblade's body before him; pert,(lacking a space)firm breasts, fit abdomen
Variant. That's where your problem is. As I thought - unclosed tag near the end.
Actually, there's an extra close tag there, which I threw in to try and fix things, but it didn't work. I'm not seeing any unclosed tag.

Krulle
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Krulle »

Sorry about the one I read wrong....

One size tag was intentional to hide the text when reading normalky.
And I do not mind having things like that altered...

Your post? You mean the original post with text, or the one where you snipped my comments?
(Also: you di not need to quote my "proposals", I'll notice if you do or not, but it is your text and I will not comment on them a sevond time anyway... Just do the changes, or not. But do not quote them again, keeps the thread tidier....)
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote: Actually, there's an extra close tag there, which I threw in to try and fix things, but it didn't work. I'm not seeing any unclosed tag.
Sorry, not that .. Fixed already. :oops:

Ecc, and my twisted .. Underscores sometimes still lacking.

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Krulle wrote:Sorry about the one I read wrong....

One size tag was intentional to hide the text when reading normalky.
And I do not mind having things like that altered...
Yeah, I know the one where you meant to hide text is different. I meant all the suggestion bits where you resize the edit proposal in addition to the recolor.
Your post? You mean the original post with text, or the one where you snipped my comments?
(Also: you di not need to quote my "proposals", I'll notice if you do or not, but it is your text and I will not comment on them a sevond time anyway... Just do the changes, or not. But do not quote them again, keeps the thread tidier....)
Alright, from now on I'll just fix things.

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

Del
Last edited by Tamri on Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tamri
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Tamri »

And I again. Rechecked, found your problem. In your second spoiler ending tag is AFTER the closing quote, and not before. 8-)

What amusing glitches, however ...

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Mr Bojangles
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Mr Bojangles »

ShadowDragon8685 wrote:Yeah, I figured my math was badly off afterwards, when a friend double-checked me. So I was derping there.

And yes, fusion unquestionably has a place as an energy source. You really don't want honking great piles of fullerened antimatter being used as fuel anywhere you plan to inhabit, for reasons The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse quite thoroughly details. And on a planetary surface, space isn't nearly at as much of a premium as it is on a ship, nor is fuel mass a critical issue, so I would imagine the Loroi use DT-He3 fusion to power most of their civil infrastructure, just as humanity does.

Even so, antimatter's not that hard to make industrially, when you have access to a sun. To me, it makes more sense that the Bell was more likely fueled by magnetic-bottle-confined antimatter. Also, re: Tempest having a greater than ten-jump bingo range:

Remember, one of the reasons they're sending Jardin to Seren is because a trip ten jumps past Naam requires logistics. It's not a trip that Tempest, not being a scout, or one of her frigates, is prepared to just up and make after a quick refueling. If humanity's fuel source was two orders of magnitude worse than the Loroi's, I would expect a not-a-scout warship to have a bingo range at least equal to or superior to a human scout vessel.

On the other hand, cryogenic helium, whilst certainly not all that dense, is loooooads more dense than liquid hydrogen. I was misremembering hydrogen-fueled ships as helium-fueled, so yeah, a fusion-powered ship could be more reasonably sized. I still think it'd probably be a lot damn bigger than Bellarmine would be, though, to have a twenty+ jump range plus in-system travel time.
Wow, a lot has been said since you responded to me...

I think we're in agreement about what energy source would best be used where. I know I wouldn't want to live anywhere near energetically-useful amounts of AM. Also, The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse was a great arc. I'll have to re-read it.

I'd argue against industrial production of AM being easy. Not to be contrary, but just because a machine as massive and powerful as the LHC produces on the order of picograms of AM per year. At that point, you're really counting individual atoms produced. I imagine (hope) a better method will be found, but even using the sun, the facility would likely be immense. Given that the TCA can barely afford to fly its heavy cruisers, justifying the cost of an AM plant would be difficult.

I can see where you're coming from, though. Given what we know, M/AM would appear to make much more sense for the Bell. I think this is where the science of Outsider gets a little "hand-wavey" and has to give way to the story it is telling. Perhaps one way around it would be AM-boosted fusion? Not enough to directly drive the ship, but enough improve energy output...

And, no comments about the new stuff you've posted as I haven't read it yet. Looking forward to it, though.

Jethreuel
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by Jethreuel »

It is a bit late, but I noticed that the Star Trek Outsider fanfic you posted several pages back stops on Chapter 5. Do you have plans to finish that story as well? Both that and this are wonderful reads so far. Thank you.

ShadowDragon8685
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Re: What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

Post by ShadowDragon8685 »

Jethreuel wrote:It is a bit late, but I noticed that the Star Trek Outsider fanfic you posted several pages back stops on Chapter 5. Do you have plans to finish that story as well? Both that and this are wonderful reads so far. Thank you.
I dunno. Maybe I'll pick up writing on it next time I go on a Trek binge. :P I don't have "end points" in mind when I write. I just write because I got inspired to write.

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