Reply to topic  [ 18 posts ] 
[Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018) 
Author Message

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)
Diclaimer: Outsider and any and all related content is the intellectual property of Jim Francis a.k.a. Arioch

I hereby claim no right to his works, nor any intimate knowledge to the story of Outsider.

Reforged is the first sequel of Looking forward to the mirror, taking place about 50 years after the end of the Great War. It serves as a bridge to the next story I have planned out in expanding the setting that has been put in place at the epilogue.


The prologue of Reforged is the Omake I posted as a treat here


I can't promise timely updates since I am working as a full time accountant but I can say that the manuscript has already progressed well enough and I have been working on it for a few months already.


Chapter 1, part 1:
Chapter 1, part 2:
Chapter 2, Part 1:


She took her time reading the report she was given right before she entered the spartan interrogation room, the Mizol Sanzet wasn’t going anywhere the way she was tied up on the interrogation chair and with the drugs having already taken effect. She smiled and nodded to the one way mirror when she finished reading and turned her attention to the prisoner.

“Reading all this I have to conclude that either your superiors are just idiots or that your caste sends the undesirables our way in order to teach them a lesson.” She said to the dazed Mizol who just groaned as she tried to keep herself focused.

“How did you even pass your trials if this is all it takes for you to lose focus?” She sent and the Mizol looked at her groggily with anger flaring at the back of her mind as she took that as a personal insult. “I take it then that you were the irredeemable weakling of the band? You are wearing your caste’s armor so that means that you did go through the trials somehow… So what did you do to redeem yourself to the others and your elders?” The Mizol remembered something painful at that point but pushed the sentiment back.

“On Deinar the band usually agrees to feed the irredeemable weakling to a wild miros pack if she doesn’t resign on her own; that was the choice I was given by my diral leader before I resigned.” She continued and smiled. “But they don’t have wild miros on Perrein, they have sori.” The Mizol tensed up at that and tried to lash out telepathically at her, she easily deflected the attack and chuckled at the implication.

“So they did try out the Sori approach. Was it just a poisonous one or they went the extra step to find out a pregnant one to inject you with its eggs?” She asked and the Mizol didn’t have to send the reply as the answer immediately flashed at the fore front of her mind.


“Where did it put them in? Your breasts or your ass?”
She asked again and the answer again came out on its own.


“Nasty…” She sent mockingly and smiled as she sensed the warrior’s inner conflict. “So that means that you had an emergency field mastectomy and the diral band being what it is you had the choice of a sharp rock or somehow getting the knife from your diral leader since she certainly wouldn’t willingly risk it with you. So which was it?”

Rock and Fire

“And since you are here, still alive and still incompetent it means that the rest of the band was impressed by your will to survive and called for help despite the possibility of the entire band being punished for that!” She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “It’s a real pity that your stubbornness and will to survive won’t help you now Mizol.”

“I won’t divulge anything so just kill me already...” The Mizol finally sent, somehow managing to find the mental resolve to accept death.

“Kill you? No, the paperwork alone isn’t worth your life and they really don’t like it when we kill fools like you. No, I am just going to stay here with you, keep you some company, have a chat; that kind of thing. Of course you can save everyone some time by just telling us what we want to know here and now.”

“Do you really think that I will say anything to you traitor even with the drugs you pumped into me?” The Mizol replied.

“Traitor? I wasn’t the one who did the betraying.” She replied calmly knowing where this was going.

“You are wearing an alien uniform and you serve alien masters!” The Mizol pointed out.

“And long before I chose to wear this uniform I was frog marched onto a transport to be exiled by your caste because I wanted something better for me and my friends. Acting while watching the spoils of war that we helped attain be distributed almost exclusively to aliens isn’t treason; disregarding our efforts is.”

“You civilians did nothing of worth!” The Mizol snapped back and received a downwards left straight to her right eye in response.

“Who do you think worked the mines and factories with barely any sleep between shifts? Who toiled in the fields to grow the food that were your rations? Who raised your young at the crèches? What did we get for all this effort that kept you fed, armed and reinforced? We only ended up abandoned when you failed to protect our colony worlds and further marginalized when you fools gave everything of worth to aliens!” The Mizol elected not to reply and closed her mind as best as she could but her anger and disgust were still easily felt. “Nothing to say? You warriors may have fought and died fighting when we broke our bodies and minds to supply everything that you needed so you fools could keep fighting a war that you would have lost if not for our template species!”

“The humans are animals!”
Another punch straight down to the Mizol’s nose which let out a gratifying crack as it broke.

“Piece of advice young fool: Keep that to yourself around us if you want to remain intact!” The tied up Mizol just stared back angrily at her as blood flowed freely from her now broken nose.

“Let me tell you how these ‘animals’ treated us when we ‘migrated’ to their new colony worlds” She begun after recollecting her thoughts. “There were plenty who didn’t want us there. You warriors attacking their freighters and transports for the actions of criminals made sure of that. Your actions were more than enough for them to be terrified of the telepathic monsters who knew only genocide and destruction. We were rightfully seen as threats and a forcibly implanted fifth column by the Union who regretted giving them the worlds they had just settled on. With such an outlook we expected that our lives would at best be eternal confinement and slave labor at the camps and at worse subjected to the rightful scorn and hatred from aliens that would hate us because of you.” She shook her head and smiled before continuing.

“But human males and ours have a lot of things in common; one of those common traits being their desire for females. Some of them were curious from the first day; they approached us on their own and tried to communicate with us despite the fact that most of us didn’t know how to speak even Trade! You can imagine how awkward those first meetings were with most of us unable to speak and them being tall alien males. The second day more of them came but those who came the first day brought various gifts; clothes and food mostly since we weren’t allowed to take much with us and the human government was unable to provide much for the large influx of exiles. The third day there were even more males who showed up on their own throughout the day and they had already started organizing themselves on their own to help us.” She let out an involuntary sigh at that memory. “Males organizing themselves to help us with what we needed and lacked… It was then that we learned firsthand how different the two kinds of males are with one another. We couldn’t believe at first and we had to repeatedly witness the fact that they are the warriors and the natural providers of their kind to believe it; they are the same as us in that regard but we are the direct copies of their females and we were in need of everything imaginable those days, they provided everything and more. It was infuriating and amazing in equal measure to witness dozens if not hundreds of their males to aid us as best as they could in the limited free time they had available. If we needed food and clothing we would get it almost immediately, they saw that we lived in tents and they started building communal houses for us, they knew that we couldn’t speak their language and they started teaching us how to communicate with them. Of course we protested them helping us when we did almost nothing, it took some convincing but in the end they reluctantly agreed to let us help them with the heavier work and they agreed solely because human males are almost unable to say no to an attractive female, in the exact same way that we are unable to say no to an attractive male.” She laughed at that and turned her attention back to the Mizol whose nose had already stopped bleeding.

“The irony of ironies was the fact that the vast majority of the males who helped us were the very same individuals who initially opposed us settling near them. My mate admitted later that he vehemently opposed to us being there. Like a fool I asked him why he and the others helped us so much then; he replied that he couldn’t just let us women be in those damn tents with barely any clothing and food. Human males are biologically hardwired to pursue, savor and protect females in much the same way we do males. We faced no meaningful hardship because these ‘animals’ who were afraid and terrified of us couldn’t bring themselves not to help us. Their females of course didn’t like this volunteering from their males, especially when we started partnering with them when they proposed it but who cares what their females think? Their inability to figure out and attract their own males is their own problem; a failure of theirs that is magnified by the fact that we cannot even bear their children and that their males have a Lotai; in the end the competition did them some good in finding out how to become even more alluring to their males but the fact is that we are still called the superior females!” She sensed that the Mizol still had her mental defenses up as she expected and she continued as planned.

“The most amusing thing of all is that we ended up having unlimited and exclusive access to our human mates when you warriors have again been reduced to the pre-war access scheme by this point. Of course there are the exceptions of the warriors that man the various embassies and consulates at this side of the Wasteland.” She didn’t need to sense the mental recoil from the Mizol, her physical reaction was proof enough on its own.

“Admit it, you all choose to sample the goods whenever the opportunity presents itself, especially Mizols who have learned how talkative human males are when mating with a proper female.” She sensed apprehension in her captive's mind and pressed on. “How many times have you laid with an animal, Mizol?” The Mizol tried to telepathically attack her again at that but she brushed it aside with a chuckle.

“How many times Mizol?”

“I WAS FOLLOWING ORDERS!” The Mizol shouted.

“Orders that had you mounting males! How many times?” She repeated while laughing.

“96 times.” The Mizol finally answered.

“With how many animals?”

“One.” The answer surprised her and she first took a look the notes she was holding and then looked at the one way mirror in disbelief before realizing that she could use this.

“One at a time? Or just one partner?”

“Just the one.”

“Let me guess, Evan Jacobs a mid tier defense and intelligence analyst for the department of defense and various think tanks.” The Mizol stiffened at that, both physically and mentally.

“We keep you Mizols under close watch from the moment you step in Confederation space; in fact we have been screening all you warriors from the moment we decided to protect these males from you.” The Mizol realized something at that moment and her mind seethed with anger.

“Yes, we were the ones who informed him that you had bugged his computers in order to leech information off of him. He didn’t take it lightly did he?” The Mizol didn’t reply but she stared back at her furiously. “It’s obvious from the report that he is very much like mine, a man that closely resembles our own in personality; someone who prefers mental and philosophical pursuits. The kind who wishes for you to be close to him at all times, to embrace you with a gentle intensity that makes you think that just the act of pushing him away is tantamount to torture for him. How was it lying to him while he whispered words of love and compassion to you? How did you feel when you felt his warmth after taking advantage of him?” The Mizol was still angry but she just stared at the floor in defeat.

“Is he an animal?”

“He is a lying alien with a Lotai.” The Mizol recited in a way that made it obvious that she didn’t wholeheartedly believe it.

“At least he is not an animal anymore…” She teased the hapless Mizol. “Now lets see if you can admit that you lied more to him than he did to you.”

“The Lotai is proof enough of their lies.”

“I usually hear that from Soroins not Mizols.” She joked before pressing forth.

“You lied to him from the beginning; you took advantage of his trust and placed him in a perilous position. Personally I am surprised that you didn’t fuck around like some others do and kept yourself focused and loyal to the single one.”

“I only did what my orders required.”

“And how did it feel to be the exclusive female with him?” The Mizol tried to close her mind as best as she could but her self-loathing and regret was easy to sense.

“Their monogamous tendencies are what make the truth obvious, only a fool is blind enough not to understand their love and commitment to their chosen mate. You realized it at some point, perhaps not at first but certainly when you were embracing each other. It was after this realization that you faced the choice between him and those who deny the truth and wish them harm.” The Mizol teared up at that, her mind becoming increasingly unstable. “And between the one who loved you and the ones who almost murdered you in the diral you chose the latter like the weak willed cowardly fool that you are. How does it feel choosing those who fed you to a Sori?” She smiled crookedly at the increased self loathing and apprehension she sensed.

“In the end you decided to act like a human and started lying to yourself in order to rid yourself of the uncomfortable truth ‘It’s just that my hormones are out of control, he is not a true male, I am becoming weak because of him’. I have heard all this and more from dozens of stupid warriors who deny the truth after realizing it but this tends to break you foolish warriors if you keep at it. That’s why they rotate you rather quickly from the embassies. You Mizols however have it far worse since you lying scum have the benefit of realizing the truth almost immediately yet most young fools like yourself still choose to perpetuate the lie and still seek out ways to harm them with the aim of exterminating them and what they represent to the Union.” She sensed the opportunity and immediately reached and put her palm to the Mizol’s forehead.

“DID…YOU…THINK…THAT…WE…WOULDN’T…BE…PREPARED…TO …PROTECT…THESE…MALES…FROM…LIARS…SUCH…AS…YOU?” She lashed out telepathically, the mental defenses of the hapless Mizol crumbling almost immediately.

“Did you think that we stood idle all these Tozons? That we didn’t prepare ourselves for when you scum would decide to act on your lies? Did you think that we forgot what it means to protect the males?” She ranted as the Mizol failed to offer any resistance. “Our mothers were weak and resigned, we were weak and resigned…” She sighed and recollected herself when the memory of her resignation from her Soroi Diral band came back to her.

“DID…YOU…THINK…THAT…WE…WOULDN’T…REFORGE…OURSELVES…TO…PROTECT…THESE…MALES?” The Mizol’s mind finally buckled and collapsed at that, she probed her mind and mentally reached out to call for the others.

“She is ready, extract what she knows, heal her and cut her hair off before dropping her off at the usual place.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.” She took off her amplifier and made to leave but hesitated for a moment and turned to face the broken Mizol.

“Had you resigned back then you would have no problem in accepting the truth and him.” She said, knowing that the Mizol was too disoriented to understand what she was saying now but perhaps she would remember later. “Who knows, perhaps you would have ended up choosing Alexandra for your spoken name as well.”

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Last edited by dragoongfa on Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:06 am, edited 6 times in total.

Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:21 pm

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
Chapter 1, part 1

It would be two and a half months more until she would be back home at Atlantis; the second half of this mission and the hardest one at that. It had been a long time since the last time she had done the escort and acclimation routine for new migrants; the last time she had left Matthew alone with three teenaged terrors in the shape of two boys and a girl but this time they were all young adults who were busy looking for their own path in life. This meant that he would certainly have a lot of free time this time, perhaps he would finish that damn book of his if he doesn’t laze around all day after work.

He would normally be at the early stages of human old age but he was still youthful thanks to the rejuvenation and longevity treatments he had gone through, treatments that took some constant pestering from her side in order to convince him to take them at the first place. She had been terrified at the mere thought of him withering and dying from old age so quickly. It was egoistical, perhaps even childish of her but she wanted to be together with him for as long as possible; as long as her Loroi lifespan would allow if all went well.

Matthew had thought the idea as ridiculously impossible when she first broached the subject a couple of decades ago but the developments of human longevity treatments had been astonishing ever since certain corporations begun investing vast amounts of money in that avenue of research. The very same corporations that were formed at about the same time when the first Loroi exiles made their own fortunes in the human colonies.

“Deck 14, dock 6!” The lift’s automated system announce as the doors opened.

“Lieutenant.” Master sergeant Astarte sent as she came into view, saluting crisply as she did so.

“Master sergeant!” She returned the salute and Astarte begun walking besides her as they made their way to the disembarkation area.

“Still on schedule?”

“Yes.” The master sergeant replied.

“Any incidents?”

“Nothing beyond the usual.”

“Over excited civilians and warriors being their usual selves?”
She asked already guessing the answer.


“How many civilians and how many warriors?”

“5754 civilians and 224 warriors. 1273 civilians and 54 warriors are bound for Atlantis.”
Astarte replied.

“The nickname of New Taben has drawn attention.”
She commented dryly.

“Indeed, most of the civilians are either from Taben or from the coastal cities of Deinar. The warriors are for the upsizing of the Union consulate there due to the increased migrant population.” Astarte commented.

“More Mizol pawns to play with. I hope that there will be a challenge among them this time.” The Lieutenant amused herself before focusing her mind back to the mission. “This means that we will have roughly 50 civilians in each class, thankfully the ‘Lucky Dime’ does have large enough compartments to serve as classrooms."

“It will be packed though… Will we segregate the civilians from the warriors?”

“I don’t think that there will be a need for that. I will ask for some extra marines to keep the warriors busy so we and the ship’s Loroi crew members won’t have to while we acclimate the migrants.” The Lieutenant replied.

“Why didn’t they just send the warriors to Atlantis with another liner?” Astarte asked. “I know that both the civilians and the warriors will try to keep to themselves but mixing them together may cause problems.”

“Almost all of the direct space traffic from Mirror to Atlantis are migrant ships. They would have to wait for months for a ride and that would probably be a freighter not a passenger liner.” The Lieutenant reminded her.

“Which means that we will be stuck looking after our civilians while warding off any warrior stupid or bored enough to cause trouble.” Astarte commented.

“That’s why we have the marines; their mutual boredom induced stupidity will cancel each other out.” The Lieutenant joked as the two of them reached the huge, hangar like, compartment that served as the disembarkation area for dock 6. Nine full platoons of Reforged in full dress uniforms were arrayed in formation in front of the main umbilical that would reach out to the Union passenger ship once in finished docking.

The two of them stood in front of Atlantis’s Reforged, the pure white full dress uniforms of Atlantis’s ground forces standing out from the assortment of khaki and green dress uniforms that the other Reforged wore. The both of them walked amongst their ranks for a couple of minutes, making sure that not a single spec of dirt could be seen on any of their uniforms, that their ribbons were worn in the right order and that their hair was correctly tied with the regulation approved bun at the back of their head.

“Attention!” The Lieutenant bellowed and her platoon immediately stood at attention.

“You know the drill so I will be brief. We will greet the warriors first and after that we will gather our civilians and get them to our processing area near dock 8. We will then process them all while looking out for any troublemakers. Any questions?” No one answered, they all had done this at least twice; in fact the Lieutenant was the only one who hadn’t done an acclimation trip for a few years.

“Union passenger liner Driftwood now docking at dock 6.” The announcement came as they heard the umbilical come to life. As if in queue two full platoons of marines in their own full dress uniforms trotted into the disembarkation area and took positions right in front of the Reforged as if they were screening them.

“You are late!” The Lieutenant playfully chastised them as they passed by her platoon.

“You are early!” A marine Lieutenant replied.

One of the first lessons humans took in regards to the Loroi was that the Loroi respected martial strength above all. No Loroi, whether warrior or civilian liked to comply to the orders of civilian looking authorities which meant that they would have to somehow accommodate this cultural bias if they wanted their Loroi guests to behave. The marines were thus relegated to the role of honor guards and guides to any arriving Loroi warrior; they didn’t seem to mind the fact that they were just glorified chaperones until the warriors understood how human societies work and the warriors tended to behave around the physically imposing males.

That took care of the warriors but the mass of civilians were left solely on the Reforged who would be the ones responsible for processing them, teaching them everything they needed to know on the way to their final destination and making sure that they behaved on the way there. Thankfully both the warriors and the civilians tended to keep to themselves even when class segregation was no longer mandated or enforced, it made things easier for everyone involved in these trips but there had been some instances when certain idiots caused far more trouble than was warranted.

“The warriors are about to disembark!” Someone close to the umbilical broadcasted.

“At ease!” The Lieutenant ordered at the exact same moment all the other platoon leaders did, all of them adhering to the unspoken of rule that no Reforged would ever willingly present any form of an honor to a warrior caste Loroi. The hundreds of Reforged present instantly went beyond just standing at ease, projecting a visage of complete disinterest to the warriors that had just begun to come into sensing range.

To a non-telepath it would look like they were all a well-disciplined parade formation that was just standing at ease, staring at nothing as they all waited for their next drill order but a telepath would instantly know that they were all ready and eager about the unspoken of ritual that was about to unfold.

The Union had never agreed on any talks about establishing any forms of passenger and immigration management protocols with the Confederation. Ideally all passengers would be directed to disembark from different umbilicals onto different locations according to their status and destination. It would simplify and expedite everything but the Union had never even agreed to talk about establishing even such a basic arrangement; electing to just demand for the Confederation to work with the Union’s protocols. The Confederation refused to adhere to such heavy handedness and the Union saw fit to just drop every passenger in a single location at the same time, letting the Confederation short everyone out. There was only one arrangement put in place and it was a simple one at that: The warriors would always disembark first.

One would think that the warriors and the civilians would be traveling on different ships but they didn’t do that because they didn’t want to show that the warriors were in any way afraid or uncomfortable of their own civilians despite the fact that the two groups were segregated all the way to Confederation space and the warriors would always disembark first in order to showcase their superiority to their own civilians.

The warriors appeared at the mouth of the large umbilical, clustered together as closely as any Loroi could tolerate without them touching each other. They were mostly Soroin and Tenoin, with some Doranzer, Gallen and Listel here and there; the handful of Teidar were at the edges of the cluster with the few Mizol and Torrai being near the center of everything.

“Keep it respectful with the Teidar!”
The Lieutenant broadcasted, of all the warrior castes only the Teidar were truly respected among the civilian populations and this respect inevitably transferred to the Reforged, to most of them at least.

The warriors shouted in unison, managing to make some of the Reforged reflexively flinch.

“Useless pretty ones in need of a male savior!” The Reforged shouted in turn, an insult ranging as far back as the initial cultural contacts with humans. Pretty human females rarely if at all did anything worthwhile or even productive, relying on eager human males to help and save them as long as they flaunted their beauty at them. Loroi of all castes hated being compared to those who acted like that, doubly so the warriors who would have lost the war if not for a human male savior.

“Armorless warriors!”

“Hair stylists!”

“Alien copulators!”

“Murderous liars!”

The classic insults were telepathically shouted over the thin line of marines that screened the two groups of Loroi. They knew what was going on, everyone had an idea at the very least but neither the warriors or the reforged ever protested about these bouts and the telepathic melees that followed.

The warriors slowed themselves into a deliberate crawl in a taunt and the group efforts dissolved as the chaotic telepathic melee was joined. Someone sharp and confident tried to pierce her mental defenses, an overeager young one who was used on having civilians yield when confronted. She subtly gauged what she could from the attempted intrusion. It was a Soroin, a direct and over assertive one at that, she allowed the Soroin slightly inside to sense that she too was supposed to be a Soroin but she had been the irredeemable weakling of her band and had been ‘convinced’ to retire.

The Soroin swelled with gloat at the realization and the Lieutenant struck when she sensed the opening that was offered. The first mental spike caught the Soroin by surprise, disorienting and confusing her; the second attack was a feint, a weak suggestion to convince the Soroin to yell ‘Shit’ in frustration. The Soroin managed to restrain herself from doing that and momentarily relaxed at the realization that she weathered that but that was the opening the Lieutenant was waiting for.

It was a far more subtle suggestion, one that anyone would mistake as just an erroneous reflexive movement, ‘misstep’. The Soroin’s subconscious obeyed and a moment later she heard the yelps of surprise and sensed the shocks emerging from the flurry of unwanted touches as someone had tripped themselves among the mass of warriors, crushing onto the ones in front of her who in turn reached out and reflexively touched those in front of them to steady themselves.
The Lieutenant pulled herself back and marveled at the telepathic chaos that was wrought as the Reforged used the mental opening for some relatively gentle mental spikes and even some very successful suggestions; the warriors quickened their pace as a result in what seemed like a desire to bring the melee to an end.

She relaxed for a moment and felt the stress from inside her demand venting before catching the pointer finger of her left hand as it begun to move in a tapping motion behind her back. It was a small almost involuntary movement that anyone would mistake as stress relief but she knew that it wasn’t that. She refocused her mental defenses and sensed something subtle and subliminal slither away from her mind.

“Well done Lieutenant Alexandra Pierian. You would make a competent operative!” The sending was perfect in its precision and balance, betraying nothing about the sender other than her precise location.

“Thanks, you damnable Mizol!”

“You Reforged may yet become a challenge!”
The Mizol replied in mockery, letting out a glimpse of her telepathic potential as she did so. A few moments after that the warriors left the disembarkation area with their marine escort doing their best to guide them.

Alexandra turned at the spot, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding while doing so. Her platoon seemed to have gone through everything well enough, three of her Reforged were too disoriented to stand on their own and were supported by their comrades next to them but otherwise everyone seemed well enough yet for some reason she felt as if something was off with some of them. She spread her mind and observed carefully before realizing that all four of her sergeants, including Astarte, where moving their pointer fingers in a tapping motion as they stood at ease.
Alexandra just raised her left hand and sighed.

“Those who are moving their pointer fingers have been had!”
She broadcasted so every Reforged would realize it. Everyone in her platoon looked at each other for a few moments before the sergeants realized that they had been successfully suggested. Most of the sergeants and the lieutenants from the other platoons were also suggested if she was to judge by the mental chatter she could pick up.

“It has been some time since the last time I came across a capable Mizol!” Alexandra thought. “Astarte, I want the passenger manifest of the warriors bound to Atlantis as soon as possible, I want to know if that Mizol will be our problem to deal with.”

The Master Sergeant acknowledged and trotted out of formation, letting out some clear self-centered irritation as she did so.

“Get ready! The civilians will disembark soon.”
Someone broadcasted.

“Recollect yourselves.”
Alexandra ordered as she herself brought her mind back in order. They all knew that it would be far more difficult to coral the civilians, split them up by destination and then get them processed than the ‘friendly’ mental battle they just had. “At least the acclimation training is going to be fun.” She thought as the first civilians stepped out of the umbilical.

Chapter 1, part 2: viewtopic.php?p=28998#p28998

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Last edited by dragoongfa on Sat Mar 10, 2018 11:52 am, edited 5 times in total.

Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:29 pm

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
I am breaking one of my ground rules by posting this before I finish posting 'The Pale Horse' but I really wanted to begin posting this story.

Hope you guys enjoy it.

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:33 pm

Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2015 5:00 pm
Posts: 334
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
This look like good stuff. I m looking forward to more of it.

Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:50 am

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 53
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
I have a feeling this will be a very interesting story, please do go on, post some more of it ;) I read The Pale Horse and the Mirror, liked the Mirror much better and am looking forward to this being at least just as good.

By the way, Dragoongfa, curious as to which service branch Alexandra and Astarte are from?

Alexandra feels like the Navy/JAG and Astarte - Marines? Also, white dress uniforms usually associate with the Navy, but you have Atlantis ground forces, (Army?) in white, other branches in khaki and olive... mistake, Reforged being different or my just stereotypes?

Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:36 am

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
I have said from the beginning that The Pale Horse is not a story to be taken overly seriously :P

At the time this story takes place all of the Reforged are in essence the telepathic branch of military intelligence, most of them serve in the army branch of the planetary forces of the various worlds of the Terran Confederation. Some do serve on the Confederation Navy but they too are primarily employed as military intelligence. Future Reforged will be widely employed in almost all military branches but they will still go through the same training and trials of passage that these early Reforged have established.

Atlantis is an ocean world and has received the nickname of 'New Taben' among the Loroi and this is where things get weirdly bureaucratic in how the Confederation's military is organized when taking everything into account. There is no seaborne navy anymore on any of the worlds, with the exception of deep sea submersibles and those for a limited number of missions, warships just don't offer any use at the tech level where space superiority is what really matters. Atlantis however is an Ocean world and their Army is largely amphibious, they still don't have warships as we know them but their planetary defense doctrine revolves around air and water mobility when defending the various islands so they have adopted certain Navylike traditions and uniforms.

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Fri Feb 16, 2018 8:50 am

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 53
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
@dragoongfa - thanks for clarifying about the Reforged and Atlantis. And no, I didn't mean Navy as in ships on water :D , I meant Navy as in starships in a sci-fi setting

Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:44 pm

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
The Confederation Navy, which is a continuation of the TCA Scout and Naval forces, will have Sea Blue for its dress uniforms; to highlight the fact that they draw direct roots and traditions from the seaborne navies of Earth.

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Sat Feb 17, 2018 12:25 am

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged
Chapter 1, part 2

Bureaucracy was arguably the most tedious and mentally taxing part of the acclimation missions, especially when they had to receive and process more than a thousand civilians who didn’t even know how to communicate vocally. They had to process, screen and guide them while also serving as the clerks necessary for all the paper pushing involved.

Alexandra ordered and the next civilian in line stepped up to her booth and stood rigidly out of force of habit. “I am not a caste warrior, relax.” Alexandra sent but the cleanly shaved civilian became both mentally and visibly perplexed as she looked at the bun of hair tied behind her hair before turning her gaze back to Alexandra’s eyes, not daring to even think of a reply. “Fine, act in a way that makes you comfortable.” The civilian relaxed at that, even as her posture remained rigid.

“Identification.” Alexandra sent and the civilian immediately offered the ID card she had been provided for her journey. Alexandra took it and swiped her on her computer terminal which immediately showed everything important about the card’s owner. Everything seemed ordinary, a 174 tozons old generational civilian whose immigration process was funded by one of the Loroi corporations of Atlantis which had requested several aeronautical and spacecraft engineers.

“What were you doing for your guild?” Alexandra asked despite the fact that a brief summary of the civilian’s work experience was provided with her ID card.

“I maintained civilian aeronautical craft at Amenal, Taben.”
Alexandra nodded at that, she had seen plenty of civilians like her already and Atlantis had plenty of work to offer them.

“You will have plenty of work from now on.” The civilian’s mind and face lit up at that, she probably hadn’t had proper work for decades as the warrior castes had sidelined the civilian guilds too much after the war’s end. The guilds were practically starving for work, some even for any sort of work but the warrior castes overwhelmingly favored alien companies instead of the guilds of their own kind. They even had the gall to consider the emigrants as cowards who shunned their own kind despite the fact that it was their policies that forced civilians such as her to emigrate out of desperation.

Alexandra took one of the computer tablets next to her and put in the settings necessary before offering it to the civilian. “Press your left thumb against the bottom left scanner.” The civilian did as she was told and a second later the tablet let out a soft beep as a confirmation. “The tablet is now yours and has been tied to your thumbprint and DNA. It contains all the information you will need for the time being, it will serve as your temporary personal wallet for the monetary allowance that has been provided for you for the remaining duration of this journey and is able to interface with all open access networks. Keep your ID card and your tablet with you at all times until your corporation provides you with your residence permit and any other personal equipment you will need for your employment. You will be given a temporary spoken name after you are taught the human vocal language known as English during transit. You can elect to keep that name or change it once during the next tozon.” Alexandra explained after finalizing the civilian’s data with her console.

“I understand.”
The civilian confirmed.

“Contact any of the Reforged accompanying you to Atlantis if there is any problem with your equipment or ID card.” Alexandra sent before directing the civilian to proceed to the embarkation area of dock 8 where the Loroi crew of the Lucky Dime would direct her aboard and to the cabin she will be using. She was just one more of the fifty or so civilians she would have to personally process, normally she would just oversee the process and direct things accordingly but there was one particular civilian that had caught her attention while they had been rounding up everyone bound for Atlantis.

Alexandra broadcasted and the one she had been waiting for finally had her turn. The civilian had drawn her attention with how odd she seemed, with her mind being both open and closed at the same time. She behaved like the others did, with her body language showing the exact same signs of anxiety and anticipation like all the others did but she was… mentally secretive, Alexandra was certain of at least that much.

The secretive Loroi offered her ID card in the exact same way the others did and Alexandra made sure to put on a show that she considered the secretive one just like she would consider any other civilian. The secretive’s personal information, if it was hers to begin with, depicted her as a 223 tozon old generational civilian who had managed to pay for her own transit.

“What were you doing for your guild at Deinar to save enough for your transit?”
Alexandra asked, making sure to show only sincere curiosity and not any suspicion towards the secretive one.

“I was a logistics overseer for a now defunct guild, I had saved exchange scripts from various guilds and I called in the favors I was owed when my guild disbanded.” The secretive Loroi replied with precise truthfulness but Alexandra’s gut instinct warned her that it was a well-rehearsed reply, if her story was true then there was undoubtedly some shady business involved with some of the ‘favors’ she was owed like all others before her who had paid for their own transit but her reply made it seem that everything was clean and legitimate, without betraying any anxiety of a close inspection like the others did.

It would be a perfect answer if she had betrayed some anxiety, her supposed job would require a modicum of misdirection and experience with cutthroat economics which would explain how she had managed to save enough money for passage to the Terran Confederation; all with the added touch of giving a plausible reason as to why she decided to emigrate at the first place as any fool would choose to take her chances on an alien world where Loroi civilians were known to thrive rather than start anew from the bottom of a different guild.

“You will be able to start something new on Atlantis.” Alexandra commented and the secretive’s mind lit up in satisfaction at that, Alexandra couldn’t tell if it was because the secretive actually ‘believed’ the story she had prepared or if she had believed that she had managed to fool her. Perhaps it was both.

“Press your left thumb against the bottom left scanner.” Alexandra sent as she offered the secretive a computer tablet, the secretive doing as she was instructed just like all the other civilians did, allowing Alexandra to finalize her data. “The tablet is now yours and has been tied to your thumbprint and DNA. It contains all the information you will need for the time being, it will be able to interact with any open networks and it will serve as your personal wallet after you exchange any guild scripts, Union talents or any other valid currency you may have on your person with standard Confederation credits as they will not be considered legal tender in Confederation space. You will only be able to do the exchange on the approved currency exchange office aboard the Lucky Dime or at any Union embassy or consulate. Keep your ID card and tablet with you on all times. Once we arrive at Atlantis you will be directed to the immigration office for your temporary residence permit and new ID card. There you will also be directed to register with the employment bureau so you may find meaningful employment. You will be given a temporary spoken name after you are taught the human vocal language known as English during transit. You can elect to keep that name or change it once during the next tozon.”

“I understand.” The secretive acknowledged without any hint of confusion.

“Contact any of the Reforged accompanying you to Atlantis if there is any problem with your equipment or ID card.” Alexandra sent and directed the secretive Loroi to the embarkation area as some short of mental commotion caught everyone’s attention in the processing center.

Alexandra didn’t need to look at the commotion to realize that the civilians had just seen a marine in his work uniform carrying an extra case of computer tablets to the processing area. It was undoubtedly the first human male they saw and he was doing manual labor in front of females! Several of the civilians jumped up instantly to try and help him without thinking and a small scuffle broke on who would take the heavy looking box from him, thankfully some of her Reforged broke it up before a fight started, taking the box from him and calling him an idiot for the intrusion.

“I got a ganger!” Alexandra wrote in her console’s communication program while the commotion drew every civilian’s attention away from the processing booths.

“I have a Mizol!” Astarte replied.

“Make that two Mizols” Private Sorcha reported after a few moments.

“Proceed as normal. We will find out what game everyone is playing on the way to Atlantis.” Alexandra knew that this couldn't be good but she was confident that they would get everyone to open up before too long.

Chapter 2, Part 1: viewtopic.php?p=29159#p29159

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Last edited by dragoongfa on Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:05 am, edited 2 times in total.

Sun Feb 18, 2018 1:37 pm

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 53
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 02/18/2018)
Them Mizols man :D They just can't help themselves and not play their little tricks and blow their cover, right?

Good stuff, keep 'em coming.

Sat Feb 24, 2018 5:45 am

Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 3:54 pm
Posts: 11
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 02/18/2018)
I take it that Ganger means the Loroi equivalent of Mafia? If not, what does she mean by Ganger?

Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:28 pm

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 02/18/2018)
Jethreuel wrote:
I take it that Ganger means the Loroi equivalent of Mafia? If not, what does she mean by Ganger?

Take this as confirmation that Gangers are the Loroi equivalent of Mafiosi. Loroi criminal gangs tend to be very small, very tight knit and very specialized in their purpose. Each gang averages about 8 to 12 members who are all capable enough to misdirect and confuse those around them about what they are really doing, the best of them give even the most capable Mizol agents trouble in investigations.
The specialization of each and every gang varies greatly; gangs generally specialize in theft, bypassing the reproductive restrictions, industrial espionage, transportation of illegal goods and even covert assassinations.
Most gangs are freelancers, selling their specialized services to the highest bidder while the members are loyal only to the gang. Very large and wealthy guilds may have a gang or even two at their exclusive employ but they will disavow all knowledge of them if they are caught in the act.
Due to their telepathic skills and their illegal activities Gangers are holding a weird place in Loroi society. They are criminals, some of them even dangerous but they are flaunting the rules put in place by the warrior castes who often have trouble rooting them out and as such Loroi civilians tend to admire gangers and gangers do their best to avoid causing trouble for those around them; if only to avoid drawing attention to the gang itself.
Minor spoilers ahead:

Spoiler: show
Certain telepathic techniques of the Reforged were inherited by Gangers. Loroi civilians were never taught the telepathic techniques of warriors, especially the techniques of the Mizol and Teidar castes but particularly old and capable gangs do teach such techniques to their members. Alexandra herself was a ganger, part of a gang which specialized in the transportation of illegal goods.

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Sat Feb 24, 2018 2:28 pm

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)
Chapter 2, Part 1

Teaching a vocal language to civilians who barely used their mouths for anything other than eating was always the hardest parts of the acclimation procedures, thankfully they had more than enough time to teach them how to vocally communicate in an adequate way by the time they would arrive at Atlantis. The first couple of lessons were always the most aggravating since they would have to teach the civilians how to make even the most basic of sounds before delving into the language itself. Thankfully humans had plenty of teaching tools about the matter, tools that were intended for children with learning disabilities but they were more than adequate for the job.

“The /L/ sound is simple. Slowly bring your tongues up to the /T/ position and then down while humming.” Alexandra instructed and the fifty civilians in her class immediately went at it while their computer tablets depicted the movement they had to make. Some had difficulty in doing it, living for centuries without making complex vocal sounds made the tongue uncooperative but certain others had no difficulty at all.

The ganger knew how to speak trade, her cover as a logistics overseer demanded this from her and that would allow her to skip this class but she participated regardless; she had explained that she wanted to both make connections with others by helping with the class and that she wanted some coaching with the few sounds not in the trade language. Alexandra knew however that this wasn’t the real reason, the ganger undoubtedly wanted to know if she was being shadowed by someone and the vocal lessons always betrayed those who knew how to speak, like the two Mizols who were the first to volunteer for this particular class after the ‘accidental error’ that had left eight spots unfilled and since the only two individuals of worth in the class were Alexandra herself and the ganger it made it obvious who their target was.

“Good, very good.” Alexandra congratulated the two Mizols for their ‘progress’, feigning complete ignorance about them as if they hadn’t drawn her attention up until that moment. Their mental discipline was good, better than the Mizols she had run into before but they lacked experience with being undercover as civilians. They were too formal and never betrayed anything other than what a good proper and obedient civilian should be, civilians instinctively tended to avoid being near those who were like that as if they knew that it was a made up front and right now the two of them were committing an even greater mistake by drawing attention to themselves. The ganger had the good sense of having a cover that would explain everything about her but the two of them were sloppy, they were supposed to be generational civilians and as such they should have never been taught vocal skills but there they were, seemingly mastering making sounds with the first couple of tries as if they had been taught before. It could have been explained if they were diral dropouts, those children raised in warrior crèches were given some training before being put in their dirals. Worse still was the fact that they couldn’t afford to pretend that they didn’t know how to speak, the mental concentration to do that would be palpable to those around them so they both went with the façade of being natural in vocals.

“That’s enough vocals for today.” Alexandra announced. “Practice making individual sounds on your own and we will continue from where we left tomorrow with some of the hardest sounds.”
She sensed widespread relief from the civilians and even the Mizols who didn’t catch the ganger as she momentarily glanced towards them, undoubtedly marking the two of them as her shadow before turning to the small group of the unofficial students who had formed around her; making Alexandra put down a mental note that the ganger knew how to work a small crowd. For a moment she thought she recognized someone among them, probably someone she processed the day before.

“Now before we finish this lesson I think it’s time for your first daily octalogue.” Alexandra announced.

“An octalogue?” A civilian asked, echoing almost everyone else there except for a handful who giggled in understanding.

“All of the little things you need to know and understand about humans in convenient packages of eight.” Alexandra broadcasted without hiding her playful amusement about it. “The first one is quite simple, how to respond when a human male proposes a mating encounter.” That shocked everyone in the room so she proceeded without pausing.

“Human males want to mate with you so learn to say no.”
The first and simplest part of arguably the most important of all the octalogues.

“They may be taller, stronger, warmer, with a different color and with a Lotai but they are still males in every way that matters so learn to say no.”
In her experience most Loroi severely underestimate the physical attributes of human males so it’s best to put it down early.

“The joke is that the only thought under their Lotai is ‘Female, Female, Female!’. This is biologically impossible as they also have to think of eating, sleeping, shitting and pissing between thinking about females. So learn to say no in order to focus them on more important stuff than you.”
That drew giggles from many of those present, the joke was that the main function of the caretakers of Loroi males was to keep them focused on what’s important and not on females.

“Everything a human male does productively is done with the aim of providing for himself or for his chosen mate and offspring. So learn to say no.”
The fourth part shocked many of them, the concept of males providing for their mates and offspring was totally foreign to the average Loroi civilian who instinctively thought of males as incapable of providing for themselves, to do so for their many mates and offspring was inconceivable.

“Human males pair bond with their chosen females. Say no to any male who is pair bonded and proposes an encounter. Especially if he is pair bonded to a Loroi.”
Another base facet of manhood that males of both kinds share is the need to procreate with as many females as possible. Humans can’t help think of it but most rarely act if at all to the impulse. It’s just best to stop the uncomfortable jealous situations that would follow by just saying no.

“Say no to any and all proposals about a paid mating encounter and any proposals as to the production of pornographic material. You are not a hole to be filled and you will be treated accordingly if you forget this.” This point was one that they would have to hammer down repeatedly, the most ancient of human professions was a very nasty trap to fall into; both mentally and physically. Long made illegal and even obsolete with the advent of artificial outlets but the danger was still there to those foolish enough to fall victim to the criminal trickery involved.

“Deranged and criminal human males don’t take no for an answer and such an answer may result in violence, it may even trigger an assault with the use of a concealed weapon. Carry a knife of legal length on your person for such an instance and use it if the situation demands it. You are a better knife fighter than most of them so try not to kill them.”
That shocked many of them and some wanted to interrupt her but she made it mentally clear that if they found themselves in such a situation then using a knife to get away from the criminal was the only way to get away unscathed.

“If you happen to find a male interesting, who is not annoying in his advances and who is not pair bonded then you may consider saying yes after consulting with your fellow Loroi about him.”
Alexandra finished reciting the ‘How to answer male proposals’ octalogue and was satisfied with sensing the confused minds and seeing the dumbfound expressions of the 50 Loroi around her. “Any questions?”

“Say no to males in need?” Someone broadcasted in an instant, drawing instant and widespread agreement from most in the room.

“Human males don’t need to mate, not in the same ways Loroi males do. They desire mating and think of mating often but they have admirable self control and won’t suffer any noticeable side effects from abstaining from mating even for extended periods of time. It’s good that you consider them as males even after seeing just a few of them but they don’t need mating, in fact overindulging in their desires is counter-productive so learn to say no, for their well-being and yours.” Alexandra replied.

“And if we have absolutely no interest in mating with aliens?” One of the two hidden Mizols asked.

“Then you will have to problem saying no.” Alexandra pointed out, making everyone else laugh, with the hidden Mizol who asked awkwardly joining in after a couple of moments. Another mistake, proving once more that although skilled, the two of them lacked experience in making themselves hidden in plain sight; it was a petty that they had already shaved their heads to pass as civilians but perhaps they could learn something worthwhile from them when they would intimately debrief them on Atlantis.

“Have you mated with a human male?” Another civilian asked.

“Yes.” Alexandra said as she brought her left hand up for everyone to see the ring on her ring finger. “This ring signals the fact that I am legally pair bonded/married with a male.”

“How is it like?”
The same civilian asked in an instant.

“Warm, intense, pleasurable, liberating...”
Alexandra replied. “They are males, not like ours but they are males. We cannot sense them but make no mistake; both your mind and body will recognize them as males after some time among them.”

“You are paid bonded with one of them? Why?”
Another civilian asked, this one from among the ganger’s ‘students’.

“Because he was interesting enough to make me want to accept him.”

“What do you gain out of it?”

“A life far more interesting than what I had without him.”
Alexandra replied without really thinking.

“And what does he get?”

“The same things I do.”
Alexandra replied in irritation for having to state the obvious. “Is there an other question?”

“How did you become a warrior?”
The ganger finally asked.

“I volunteered.”
She replied instantly, catching everyone by surprise.

“You just volunteered to be a warrior and they made you a warrior?”

“I had to become a citizen first but that’s the gist of things.”

“Why? Why would they let Loroi become warriors for them? Why did you want to be a warrior for them?” The ganger asked again.

“They are more than able to distinguish friend from foe even without telepathy and because they are males in need of protection.”

“But you were a civilian, destined to fail as a warrior.”
Alexandra couldn’t help but let a smile form on her lips at that. She sensed how the others became uncomfortable from the turn of the conversation, the two Mizol momentarily failing to follow suit with the sentiments of irritable self-loathing that had been hammered repeatedly into the collective minds of the civilian underclass.

“I was indeed a failure, unlike most of you I had the opportunity to become a warrior but I was an irredeemable weakling whose diral leader gave a very simple choice. I dropped out but like all the dropouts I was a child with no experience of how the world functions and without proper guidance, yet I was put in a situation that would decide my life and the lives of my offspring; it is both the truth and an excuse but I am certain that I would not have failed if I knew a fraction of what I now know. Nevertheless I was a failure but why are you who were born to civilian mothers failures as well? You were never given the chance to become warriors and yet you are also considered destined to fail, why is that?” All of them were seemingly uncomfortable about this but they were paying attention, Alexandra hoped that it was because they wanted to but she knew that many of them did so because of her being a warrior now.

“No one is really destined to fail, the whole concept of civilians being ‘failed warriors’ is just an obsolete form of societal control because we Loroi couldn’t allow ourselves to know of any other way to control our nature. Failure isn’t really a permanent attribute it’s just a natural temporary state, success and failure at one’s endeavors are both natural; sometimes you succeed in what you do and sometimes you fail. The original failures were just an excuse to deem us inferior because societies always need someone to do the jobs that no one else wants to and who better to do those menial jobs than those who are arbitrarily deemed inferior? My mate once said that we Loroi are all blades that are seeking to be used in war; every single one of us has the instincts of a warrior but a blade of war is just a singular tool and a society needs many other tools in order to be built and run. No one really wanted to be anything other than a warrior but we needed more than just warriors to advance and thrive. Our ancestors forced some of their numbers to do the jobs that no one wanted to do while tricking others into believing their new jobs were still tasks fit of a warrior despite the fact that most of them would never face a real fight in their lives. It was in a way necessary, the caste systems were formed because we Loroi couldn’t form societies otherwise and the system remained largely unchanged because we Loroi couldn’t allow it to evolve but there are many other societal forms in which we can thrive. Humans had similar forms of societal control in their past but they couldn’t abide by them once the reasons that made those forms of control relevant were no more. We now thrive among the Humans in ways that I couldn’t imagine when I was still part of a civilian guild back on Deinar. I was among the first exiles, those who were forcibly sent away because of the political inconveniences we caused. We weren’t allowed to have almost anything on ourselves and we were sent to aliens that the warrior castes had attacked and vilified despite them being the reason the Union emerged victorious from the Great War. We thrived among these aliens because they gave as a fair chance to thrive. Humans are too much like us to accept other Humans but they gave us a fair chance to thrive and we did thrive. Most of you are here because a Loroi corporation paid for your passage, they didn’t do so out of a sense of charity or goodwill but because they need capable personnel for their business. We believe that you are not destined to fail and those who paid for your passage know that you will pay for yourselves and that you will do so surprisingly quickly which will allow you to seek your own fortune if you so wish. There is plenty of opportunity at the ever expanding frontier and not enough people to grasp it.”

“Aren’t the corporations like our guilds?”
Another civilian asked.

“They are different but similar, Loroi corporations are for profit legal entities; they tend to run themselves like guilds in how they look after their employees but you will be largely left on your own devices in regards to your personal life and affiliations. Almost all of you will be given a personal apartment or a room in a communal house, with the freedom to move elsewhere when you can afford it. You will be expected to purchase your own food, clothing and other personal amenities. You will be working at set schedules, exchanging your time and labor for your agreed upon monetary wage, part of which will be garnished to cover for your passage and taxes. All things considered you should be able to live comfortably while still being able to put aside some savings. Most of you will have paid for yourselves in about five years and depending on the local laws and behavior you will be eligible for a permanent residence permit or even a citizenship.”

“Five years? Isn’t that like five tozons?”

“Yes, you will have paid for yourselves by then, even sooner if you elect not to save and just pay whenever you have the money available.”
Alexandra sensed and saw that the civilians were struggling to absorb everything and elected to end the lesson at that. “That’s it for today, feel free to seek me out if you have any further questions.”

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Last edited by dragoongfa on Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:04 pm, edited 9 times in total.

Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:04 am

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 02/18/2018)
Blame Stellaris for the delay :P

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Sun Mar 04, 2018 5:06 am

Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 3:54 pm
Posts: 11
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)
The forth part shocked many of them, the concept of males providing to their mates and offspring was totally foreign to the average Loroi civilian who instinctively thought of males as incapable of providing for themselves, how much for his many mates and offspring.

Probably better stated as:
The forth part shocked many of them, the concept of males providing to their mates and offspring was totally foreign to the average Loroi civilian who instinctively thought of males as incapable of providing for themselves, (let alone or much less) for their many mates and offspring

Otherwise, this is looking great, and I look forward to more. I especially appreciate how the Loroi who heard of it but not learned it saw it as crude sexual humour when in fact it was simple and effective for getting points across that would last until the civilians fully integrate into Human Society.

Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:44 am

Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2017 11:01 am
Posts: 16
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)
"the concept of males providing to their mates and offspring"

Should be changed to

"the concept of males providing for their mates and offspring"

But apart from that, an enjoyable read.

Wed Mar 07, 2018 8:29 am

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:29 pm
Posts: 21
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)
The forth part shocked many of them, the concept of males providing to their mates and offspring was totally foreign to the average Loroi civilian who instinctively thought of males as incapable of providing for themselves, how much for his many mates and offspring.

forth -> fourth (assuming this is number four in the list she was enumerating)

Wed Mar 07, 2018 2:47 pm

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:00 pm
Posts: 1136
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)

My fan fics

Looking forward to the Mirror (Final Editing)
The pale horse (irregular updates)

Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:08 pm
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 18 posts ] 

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.