Writing Prompts

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Will be finishing up with the next part of Reforged when I wake up tomorrow.

Warringrose
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Warringrose »

I apologies in advance for this everyone, (I hope everyone can see this image ok):
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Image

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orion1836
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by orion1836 »

:mrgreen:

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Excellent resolution of this conundrum. Tempo isn't malicious, but just being a Mizol, doing things in a roundabout way, and in this time, not even intentional. Yet the implications that arise may be something to be revisited in the future... but for now I'm still working on the next installment of "New Frontiers".

EDIT: I guess with both stories fully moved we can start posting fully-formed scenes and chapters just into the respective threads, and maybe start a new discussion thread, too, to unclutter things even further.

Added a short filler piece for "Beacons", in preparation for something larger I have in mind.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

I must say, the latest parts of Beacons were well written and I certainly enjoyed reading them.

But...all characters rationally discuss their issues and work through them mutually. Everything always turns out okay and everybody is always understanding. For every problem there seems to be an easy way out.

In my opinion that makes for a story lacking in tension. They didn't even have to swallow their own pride once. No less suffer a personal setback in service to their goals.

In my opinion we shouldn't be too afraid of leaving things unresolved or even broken between the characters, even over multible story parts.

Let's give each other material to work with.

Might be just my impression though. What do you think?

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

I see what you mean but the tone of the story is very light hearted and comfy and I don't really want to break it.

As for tension I have some ideas for those who want to get away with it.
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The antagonists are the Umiak, the real tension will come through them. The characters actually coming to terms with each other should serve as a counter balance to how dire the situation is and how touch and go it will be in defending the Union from such a massive offensive.
I have some ideas and I will take on the part of writing the battle sequences and the military planning side of things if people aren't sure about them. My plan is that the Shells will break through Nezel, if not with this gate crusher force then surely with the follow up forces. Alex will then advise based on human experience with Total war, in particular the German invasion of the USSR. That's something that will give plenty of drama imho.
Afterwards I thought the possibility of the Emperor herself coming to Tinza after a certain amount of time has passed. The tension would then revolve around how the situation with the invasion force was resolved.
Further points of tension can be introduced with diplomatic shenanigans by both the Barsam and the Historians as well as the introduction of a 'proper' diplomatic team from the TCA and a potential clusterfuck one of them could cause if they accused Alex of gross impropriety if not outright treason due to his close relationship with the Loroi.
There are ways to introduce more tension and remember that the story has progressed enough already that resolutions to previous incidents had to be on the table, we just have to introduce new stuff.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Werra wrote:I must say, the latest parts of Beacons were well written and I certainly enjoyed reading them.

But...all characters rationally discuss their issues and work through them mutually. Everything always turns out okay and everybody is always understanding. For every problem there seems to be an easy way out.

In my opinion that makes for a story lacking in tension. They didn't even have to swallow their own pride once. No less suffer a personal setback in service to their goals.

In my opinion we shouldn't be too afraid of leaving things unresolved or even broken between the characters, even over multible story parts.

Let's give each other material to work with.

Might be just my impression though. What do you think?
With his 'inner circle' Alex is well-advised to clear up things as fast as he could - everyone of them knows how much is riding on things going smoothly, they can't afford to stay cross at each other for a long time. In addition, Beryl is too cheerful to stay down for long, and both Brightshield and Tempo are trained diplomats - it's their job to smooth things over, next to gathering intel.

I expect that it will be different with hardliners like Razorthorn. Alex will probably not get to an easy accord with her, just because she's even more dead set against him than Fireblade ever had been, or Stillstorm still is. Yes, she might be one of the characters who will make him suffer and bleed occasionally.... and has no qualms on doing so.

And while Stillstorm may grudgingly accept his counsel, even they might come head to head on several occasions, especially if others see that Stillstorm deviates from her usual modes of engagement towards the controlled chaos Alex might produce.

So yes, there are enough pitfalls and snares Alex might fall in, even if his close friends - those his Lotai lowered itself for - might try to shield him from harm. Warrior or not, he is still a male, and their instinct to protect him would be very hard to overcome.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

dragoongfa wrote:the tone of the story is very light hearted and comfy and I don't really want to break it.
Neither do I. Just because something is light hearted and fun doesn't mean it can't have serious issues. Especially fun stories need serious stuff mixed in. For example Ranma and Akane didn't fall for each other quickly. The whole fun of the series is how both of them slowly work through their issues and overcome setbacks.

@Tension
That's all well and good and seems to be an excellent plan for the plot to progress along. But it doesn't really affect the characters personally. An Umiak invasion is like a natural disaster to the reader. It's only interesting because we get to see the characters deal with it and what it does to them.
Last time there was enemy action, Alex proved himself, which changed his relationship with Brightshield and Stillstorm both. I would like to see and create more of that.
novius wrote:With his 'inner circle' Alex is well-advised to clear up things as fast as he could
See, how did these people become an inner circle? What challenges did they overcome, what forged them together as friends? What, apart from Tempos desire to bone Alex forces her hand? I understand Brightshield, as Alex saved her life, I understand Fireblade, as Alex is nearly immune to her leaky Sanzai.
novius wrote:Beryl is too cheerful to stay down for long
i admit, Beryl is the main reason I feel this way. She seems to be designated love interest and...nothing else? I would be hard pressed to find any character flaw of hers she has shown in this story. And no, wanting to have sex with Alex very, very much isn't a real flaw. To flesh her out as an actual character, she needs to overcome challenges. So far all problems possibly involving her dissipated quickly - without much effort.

Suggestion:
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Beryls hogging of Alex (four nights in a row! The harlot!) causes jealousy to spread in the crew. Since Stillstorm needs something for Seren anyway, she transfers Beryl with the next supply run to Seren. As Tempo is complicit in sabotaging orders from High Command, she is forced to approve. That leaves the characters with a few days to come to terms with the new situation.
Alex has to accept loss and still push on to fulfill his mission. Possibly even face the choice between following to Seren or do what's best for humanities standing with the Loroi.
Beryl has to face up to the fact that her behaviour hasn't been that of a warrior and that her duty takes her away from Alex. Possibly face the choice between Alex and being a warrior.
Tempo has to deal with the repercussions of conspiring to ignore orders and she has to expend a serious effort maintaining her friendship with a pissed off Alex.

Whether Beryl would really end up on a shuttle to Seren remains to be seen.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Werra wrote:She seems to be designated love interest and...nothing else? I would be hard pressed to find any character flaw of hers she has shown in this story. And no, wanting to have sex with Alex very, very much isn't a real flaw. To flesh her out as an actual character, she needs to overcome challenges.
First of all, Beryl is an analyst. She is no fighter per se, but her encyclopedic knowledge and her aptitude to put two and two together - she is scarily intelligent, after all - would be a boon. If Alex needs some background details to hammer out one course of action, it would be her to turn to.

Although it might not be as apparent as it is with Fireblade, Beryl does have her own demons to deal with. After all, she has an eidetic memory - and thus remember every single one of the Shell's transgressions with crystal clarity. Second, she is young. The youngest of the lot, and as such, she is prone to shift gears quite easily, going from happy to riled up and back to happy very quickly, as seen in the comic itself, when they boarded the Highland-7, and as seen with the scene with Brightshade...

Plus, she's quite self-conscious about her youth - she might need to feel the need to make things work, to prove herself to the rest of the crew. Especially since she got elevated to a rather high rank she might even more feel the need to not to mess up.

And, lastly, she does jump to conclusions quite easily. Typically they might be the right ones, but as seen in the comic itself, when she saw Alex and Talon, she could be quite wrong.

And, about her place - even Tempo had to admit that she's a boon for Alex, on top of her value as an officer/analyst/living data repository.

So, no need to carry around a full blown case of PTSD... And God help Alex if Loroi get such a thing as PMS, too :)

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

I have some ideas of the military kind for the next installment of Beacons, if anyone doesn's mind I am calling dibs on it.

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Zarya
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Zarya »

Looking forward to it Dragoon - we almost need a Wunderwaffe to deal with those 20 divisions.

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Zarya wrote:Looking forward to it Dragoon - we almost need a Wunderwaffe to deal with those 20 divisions.
After Enedd:

Stillstorm: "Here, we're facing fifteen more divisions, including a hastily erected Relay and a supply force. But keep in mind that detonating the main star of this system is NOT an option in this system!"

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

If someone has an idea for anything before the fleet jumps to Enedd feel free to write it down, otherwise I will write the battle of Enedd tomorrow.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

Go ahead. Well done setting the scene.

So the plan is to trade fuel for missiles and ignore the heavies?

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Zarya
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Zarya »

dragoongfa wrote:If someone has an idea for anything before the fleet jumps to Enedd feel free to write it down, otherwise I will write the battle of Enedd tomorrow.
Haven’t fully given up on Leido yet, a Loroi battleship, perhaps two, could jump in from Gora or Azimol and deploy a waveloom weapon to decimate some of the attacking Umiak divisions. If this is not successful then it will need to be defense in depth.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Before they actually jump, I might want to add in a small filler scene where Tempo pays him a visit... not what you might think now, get your mind out of the gutter :D
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Tempo is a bit surprised at his rather 'standard' suggestion, prompting him to explain, especially after what he pulled with the Gora Relay, and on a more personal note, they have a little discussion about the change that puts Beryl and him on opposite shifts.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

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War is controlled chaos, until said controlled chaos is joined the best one can do is to predict how the enemy will want to control said chaos and try to throw a monkey wrench at their plan. My plan for the upcoming battle is the Stillstorm's fleet actually remaining a (painful) threat in being at Enedd throws a big monkey wrench into the general plan of the Stray. If Stillstorm manage's to alert the fleet at Sala-128 that she is at Enedd and is disrupting the enemy forces there then the main fleet can withdraw first to Enedd and then at Nezel in relatively good order.
Next comes defense in depth and the adoption of certain Hierarchy doctrines that the Union somehow hasn't picked up, to Jardin's surprise it would be because of politics.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

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novius wrote: Tempo is a bit surprised at his rather 'standard' suggestion, prompting him to explain, especially after what he pulled with the Gora Relay, and on a more personal note, they have a little discussion about the change that puts Beryl and him on opposite shifts.
While I like the idea of a shift change, that's something that might wait until Brightshield and Tempo have exhausted their options. Maybe even by Stillstorm for crew morale.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Just posted that little part. And, a shift change doesn't need to mean the end for these two - it makes it more difficult for them to see each other for an extended period of time. And sometimes a subtle hand would do much better than a formal reprimand for Conduct Unbecoming.

In addition, Tempo bringing him food does have a big meaning, one Alex couldn't quite fathom - yet - but we, as the readers of the "New Frontier" storyline and knowing the backgrounds of the Loroi Rites of Passage actually do.

Krulle
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

Haven't read new frontier, so I do not know about those rituals. And whether they would apply only to dirals of that clan, that planet, or to all Loroi.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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