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Writing Prompts 
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Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 3:33 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
New part for 'Beacons' is up.

Of course, the other Loroi have thoughts on their own.... :mrgreen:


Mon Sep 10, 2018 3:23 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
New part for 'New Frontiers' is up.

The part where a Mizol tries a completely novel tactics: Honesty.


Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:51 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
dragoongfa wrote:
[B]ucklers, daggers and all that are great for one on one combat but combat between armies would be different. Spears, shields and defensive formations would play a role, as well as ranged weapons since the jungle would make ambushes with bows and arrows feasible when combined with Mizol techniques like a Lotai.

In general the Loroi didn't favor ranged weaponry in battle due to their stronger telekinetics being able to protect even a formation from arrows and small slow projectiles like slingshots but this makes them all the more deadly in ambushes.

Also don't forget that the Loroi didn't get gunpowder until their industrialization, needs to be made clear somehow so an other writer doesn't put it in by accident.

Most of that only applies to Deinar. Perrein didn't have a lot of strong telekinetics and little land suitable for open field battles with formations such as the Tercio for example.

As I said, things on Perrein at that time can be quite different from the comic. I aim for Mizol abilities in which say a Lotai only reduces senseability to a couple dozen meters instead of making it impossible.

What I have in mind should result in a form of warfare not unlike european feuds from the middle ages, in which neither Lord had the power to besiege the other in his burg. So they went around and bullied the peasantry. Just that on Perrein, the warriors go around and duel each other in their commando operations.

@Beacons
If only I was younger, then I'd still have the endurance for all this elf riding.

@New Frontiers
Oh, the Diral and Nathan have been plenty valuable from the Lotai alone. Giving them more abilities doesn't change anything. I admit, I am a bit confused what this changes for Bastal. Except for, you know, make the risk of coming in with force even more worth it.


Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:29 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Werra wrote:
@Beacons
If only I was younger, then I'd still have the endurance for all this elf riding.


And there's Duskcrown's edict to find someone not intent on having a romp with him.

Though... the answer to this question could be right in front of Alex, unless Duskcrown's preferences in males are considerably wider than originally assumed.


Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:32 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
It would have been the ultimate act of trolling for Duskcrown to saddle Stillstorm with the job.


Mon Sep 10, 2018 11:57 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Stillstorm would have then thrown it onto Jade with the instruction 'NO TO EVERYONE'.

When I was in the army my company captain joked: "I have subordinates to worry about this stuff". I don't think that Loroi would be much different in their outlook.

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Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:23 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Funny that you mention it. There was the idea going around of having Alex haggle Duskcrown down to setting Stillstorm as his caretaker with the understanding that her staff takes over the actual duties.

Guess what...
Spoiler: show
Fblade and Beryl are still crewmembers of Tempest. Rune Laurel is their immediate boss now. Jade and Jardin are the only ones in Stillstorms staff so far. In that scenario you can practically hear Duskcrowns laughter the moment Alex realizes that he bargained for the wrong thing once back on Tempest.


Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:30 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Though, I imagine the caretakers to be outside the rank structure when it comes to their duties as caretakers. Word Of God has it that the Loroi rank structure is somewhat "byzantine" - his words - and that even a high-ranked Listel or Doranzer wouldn't be able to order a Soroin Pideir around, (unless explicitely authorized to). So it's safe to assume that it's the same with caretakers as caretakers. After all, they have to have the power to even authoritatively deny encounters to the likes of a Torrai Tazites.

I imagine that it would even be illegal to influence a caretaker's decision besides simple suggestion.

This set of laws would have been introduced to prevent caretakers from stonewalling specific warriors on behest of others, and, would it concern a typical Loroi male, stonewalling him would be akin to slowly murdering him. But, Duskcrown made it explicitely clear that she considers the compromise to be failed when he denies himself to everyone (else besides Beryl and Fireblade).

So, to put it with the words of James Bond: "The things you endure for Crown and Country..." :mrgreen:


Mon Sep 10, 2018 1:27 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
dragoongfa wrote:
Stillstorm would have then thrown it onto Jade with the instruction 'NO TO EVERYONE'.

When I was in the army my company captain joked: "I have subordinates to worry about this stuff". I don't think that Loroi would be much different in their outlook.


Or worse, in the ultimate act of trolling by Stillstorm... 'YES TO EVERYONE.' :twisted:


Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:59 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
All I am going to say about how the next part is shaping up is that it's a good thing that Duskcrown is somewhat open minded and flexible in military matters, I imagine that a self-righteous and doctrine locked admiralty would take issues with his relatively straightforward opinions on the war effort.

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Wed Sep 12, 2018 12:04 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
dragoongfa wrote:
All I am going to say about how the next part is shaping up is that it's a good thing that Duskcrown is somewhat open minded and flexible in military matters, I imagine that a self-righteous and doctrine locked admiralty would take issues with his relatively straightforward opinions on the war effort.


And both Stillstorm and Beryl feared about the worst when they thought how this 'dinner date' would pan out. They might be in for a surprise.

Spoiler: show
Digging into the Bellarmine salvage, Beryl already envisioned some movie nights with human-made media. It would be too surreal for Duskcrown to sign up, too, when it comes to war movies or alien invasion flicks... would it? :D


Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:07 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
novius wrote:
And both Stillstorm and Beryl feared about the worst when they thought how this 'dinner date' would pan out. They might be in for a surprise.

Spoiler: show
Digging into the Bellarmine salvage, Beryl already envisioned some movie nights with human-made media. It would be too surreal for Duskcrown to sign up, too, when it comes to war movies or alien invasion flicks... would it? :D


Spoiler: show
I think it would be very.... appropriate.... and perhaps humorous to read a Loroi take on something like "Saving Private Ryan" or even "Raid on Entebbe".


I look forward to the next parts for certain, for reactions if nothing else.

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Wed Sep 12, 2018 3:57 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Tempest is docked for the second day at Nezel. I believe dragoongfa had Duskcrown/Stillstorm estimate three days until the Umiak assault. If we take the 50.000 Solon in-system travel time into consideration, they could jump in at any moment.

Spoiler: show
If you guys are so enamored with Duskcrown, why don't you write it so that Alex is still on Green River when the fleet scrambles into battle positions?

If she were to take part in the sleepover, she'd just be disappointed that Alex didn't pick a historical design from for example Band of Brothers. If his uniforms are custom-tailored anyway he might as well get a designer uniformin black.


Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:39 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Regarding the Umiak assault:

Spoiler: show
My estimate was 3 at the least, probably 4 days and 5 days at most for resupply, repairs and reorganization of a 20 division sized armada, the time mostly dependent on how many ships the Shells would consider unfit for further combat and thus would be cannibalized for parts.

Alex and Duskcrown are going to discuss the Shell preparations for the attack and how only the Shells are able to field repair and resupply such a fleet in such short amount of time without the use of dedicated docks.


I am going to leave the time for the battle to writer consensus but be warned that I am awfully busy/tired these past few weeks and so the battle sequences from my part will take some time.

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Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:42 am
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
NF can go in many directions...


Wed Sep 12, 2018 12:23 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
~ 360 tozon would put Bastal somewhere into her late fifties for humans. You sure you didn't want to write 460 tozon, Zarya? Otherwise she wouldn't show such pronounced signs of aging yet as she still has well over a century in the tank.

@dragoongfa
I might have misremembered then. Please don't feel like you have to write the space battles.


Wed Sep 12, 2018 12:34 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Went with earlier estimated age 350+ plus or minus 7 years. Assuming that 400 is nature’s limit for most Loroi.


Wed Sep 12, 2018 12:43 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
That was human years, I believe and at least from my part a conservative guess.

In tozon Loroi should go up to ~ 500+ if memory checks out. See the timeline for year 1111. Loremark died at 459 tozon a natural death (I presume). Eight Dawn lived from 1336 till 1834 and was a provincial governor in 1336. So that means she lived at least 498 years + however long to become governor.

Maybe it would be worth it if we all agreed to either use Loroi numbers or human numbers for all these fan stories? I messed up the numbers myself several times already. It would be simplest to use human numbers, but might make some passages weird.

Spoiler: show
When Nathan has sex with a bunch of 6 year olds, for example.


Wed Sep 12, 2018 12:58 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Werra wrote:
~ 360 tozon would put Bastal somewhere into her late fifties for humans. You sure you didn't want to write 460 tozon, Zarya? Otherwise she wouldn't show such pronounced signs of aging yet as she still has well over a century in the tank.

@dragoongfa
I might have misremembered then. Please don't feel like you have to write the space battles.


I would guess that aging signs vary in Loroi individuals, the insider puts their lifespan at 400+ and Emperor Loremark died at 459 but she undoubtedly went through longevity treatments despite the rarity of Loroi electing to go through them. It stands to reason that preliminary signs of aging can be visible from the mid 300s much like how many humans look look like they are 50 when they are later 30s and etc.

If Bastal had a rough life or is just unlucky she may have visibly aged early yet still go to live through her 400s even without longevity treatments.

Also, I like writing battle scenes, it's just that I am too tired and with my hands full lately due to work picking up in the office and me clocking in overtime due to it.

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Wed Sep 12, 2018 1:05 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Oh, Eight Dawn surely went through life prolonging treatment. Loremark, maybe too.

Soia lifeforms don't actually age. They accumulate damage to their DNA during their lifetime. The negative effects of their advanced age can be pretty much anything from weakness to cancers if I recall correctly. But they don't get weaker with age the way humans do. They don't get different hormone levels or somesuch. So Bastal having trouble holding up a lightstick should mean that her system is crumbling under the weight of centuries worth of accrued microdamages. That signals the coming end and it's usually rather swift compared to the lifespan. Having it work on the same accelerated timetable as their youth feels about right.

Edit:
To clear up future confusion, I think we should agree on an age for Bastal.
So...what do you guys think? Is she close to death, has a couple decades or still has a century?


Wed Sep 12, 2018 1:26 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
I imagine the lady is old - between 65 and 70 human equivalent, and if she never smoked she might reach 83-87 human equivalent. So, not old enough to spend her time gardening yet, but clearly the clock has been ticking. Think Judi Dench playing M in Skyfall.

There’s a short and a Deinar tozon. The latter are close to Earth years. Since I’m lazy I prefer to think of those.
350+ or perhaps 10 more seemed a good “ballpark” age. Can change it when necessary, it’d be nice though if she could serve as the diral’s patron for a reasonable period.

Spoiler: show
And thinking about the age of the diral initiates, my working hypothesis is that in terms of development they’re all teenagers. As far as their escapades go, things in NF have developed far more “All Audiences” than in Beacons.

:D


Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:36 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Alright, added another part to SH. I'll see about writing a third part, setting up a rough arc to follow up on. I don't believe in info dumps, so the world building has to happen piecemeal.


Wed Sep 12, 2018 4:24 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Zarya wrote:
There’s a short and a Deinar tozon. The latter are close to Earth years. Since I’m lazy I prefer to think of those.
350+ or perhaps 10 more seemed a good “ballpark” age. Can change it when necessary, it’d be nice though if she could serve as the diral’s patron for a reasonable period.


Sounds reasonable. She has regrets on her own and would dearly like to see a diral faring better than her own did, preferably even making a diral fare better than her own did, especially after Nelonial's FUBAR, many Mizol would gladly murder for the chance to see their abilities in action, much less having a guiding hand in their development, and, last but not least, the diral would need some retraining in the Mizol way of doing things... and she did have garnered a modicum of trust with them.

So yes, I'd say that she may be advanced in age enough to take one or two steps back on particularly taxing tasks, but playing the part of a mentor for the diral might be still within her capabilities for the time being, and something she actually may be willing to take on.

Spoiler: show
Zarya wrote:
And thinking about the age of the diral initiates, my working hypothesis is that in terms of development they’re all teenagers. As far as their escapades go, things in NF have developed far more “All Audiences” than in Beacons.

:D


"Teenager" is a very rough description. Even if we limit it to the time of puberty, start to end, it could be about anything from 12-13 to 18 human years - and we all know that there is a vast difference between those two. Given what is to be read in Loroi rites of passage I'd tend towards 15-16 human years, maybe a little older - I think I've placed a hint on their apparent maturity in one of the early scenes, when Natan got a good look at the Loroi at a whole. This puts them at roughly the same developmental stage - since Natan himself is about 15 years, after having spent two years alone - and given his background, already past the age where kids were expected to take on adult responsibilities in the family household.

So I'd gather all of them have a pretty good idea of 'what goes where' - after all, at the end of their diral phase and their final gathering they gain their first male encounter rights - but so far just Argent was forward enough to follow through with it, once the opportunity presented itself.

Loroi take the saying "they grow up so fast" to a whole new level. :)


Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:06 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Regarding NF:

Spoiler: show
If I recall the timeline correctly, Bastal would've had her early career during the centralised power phase of the empire and seen it descend into Axis aligned decentralisation. If I were to guess at her overall motives, it'd be the recentralisation of the empire, mostly as a safeguard against a full blown splintering of the Sister worlds and outright civil war.

She's resigned to this task taking longer than she has left, so she wants successors. Perhaps Nelonial was her initial choice, but was still being tested or felt out before she pulled her into her inner circle. Regardless, the diral represents a huge opportunity for her, people she can potentially pass the torch of her cause to when her time is up.

I'd elaborate more but I'm short on time.


Regarding SH:

Spoiler: show
I'm getting serious Three Musketeers vibes. :P

That being said, I can think of several ways the story can go. The Three Amigos route, in which a villain must be stopped and a damsel rescued, the Kill Bill route in which friendships are built, betrayal sets in, and revenge must be had, or a Soia era artifact needs to be kept out of the wrong hands.

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Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:45 pm
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Post Re: Writing Prompts
Character sheet

Mizol Torimor Bastal
Spoiler: show
Age: 362 (visibly advanced, but not yet deteriorating)
Height: 172 cm
Skin: Dark blue
Hair: Dark reddish-brown, intricately coiffured in a coil and falling braid.
Eyes: violet
Origin: Perrein, Uplands

Having served a long time with the Mizol and rising through its ranks, she has seen her caste at its best and worst and collected her share of regrets while trying to retain her personal honor and dignity. As her formative years were spent with a diral under a bad, almost abusive leadership she took at as a harsh lesson to focus herself more on the diplomacy side of her caste's agenda rather than the intelligence side. Her view had been reinforced when she saw the fledgling Union almost come apart at its seams throughout her lifetime. While she has not yet stepped away from active duty, her peers almost expect her to start grooming a potential successor.


About aging: Cartilageous tissues (at least with humans) tend to grow throughout the lifetime - so I'd say that with Loroi the nose and ears do get gradually larger as well over time, though at a much slower pace. It's only the signs of deterioration (sagging skin, dark spots on the skin, fading eyesight and hearing, degenerative illnesses like arthrosis) which may not come up with Loroi until their very end of their natural lifetime, when the damages to their DNA start to overcome the repair and compensation mechanisms and their bodies undergo a cascading failure.


Last edited by novius on Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:30 am, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:15 am
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