Writing Prompts

[Werra]

I think Duskcrown will turn out to be commander of Tinza sector. Why else would she be the example in the Insider?

Not so sure about the Stray being the Umiak in overall command. While we can definitely consider him to be for our purposes, he seems to be more Stillstorms opponent than member of high command in the comic.

I am looking forward to Stillstorm getting in trouble for keeping an alien around and privy to military secrets. (that thing about manipulating direct orders may come up again)

[entity2636]

I second the opinion that Klicky is likely not the overall Shell commander, rather someone on Stillstorm's level (her personal nemesis, so to speak), but he certainly is important to the story and should thus be important for this expanded universe story too.

As for the Tinza sector fleet

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whichever direction you guys have planned to take it, is perfectly fine by me as a reader and fan, however, I could see the Tinza fleet and the reserve fleet having been surrounded and almost destroyed in the battle for Sala-128 and admiral Duskcrown dead. Seeing how hopelessly outgunned they are she would have gone out in one final blaze of glory in typical loroi fashion. If the two strike groups manage to get the Tinza fleet remains back to Enedd, Stillstorm might find herself in overall command and having all the sector defense now dumped onto her. That would be a good internal conflict for her in a "I never asked for this" kind of manner. After all, while not having an acute death wish, she is jaded as can be and has pretty much written herself off as it is - she has made enemies in the government and High Command that want her dead and her military career is effectively at an end. Now, I don't remember where exactly, but I remember reading that Stillstorm lost both (?) of her daughters, with whom she was apparently very close, in the war and revenging them is the sole thing that keeps her going (and Tempo, assigned to watch over her to keep her from doing something stupid).

[dragoongfa]

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I am leaning onto about 50% to 60% loses with the numbers taken from this post here: http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 035#p31035

So at best 3 to 4 divisions still left after disengaging from Sala-128 with 1 more division left at Nezel as a reserve. In my head I planned to have Duskcrown still alive but both Soshrets that went to Sala-128 to have died, for some political drama and to have her promote Stillstorm to Soshret after some much needed explaining.

This is because the seven divisions that jumped to Sala-128 didn't immediately go there because of a dire need of replenishment and ship reshuffling due to casualties sustained, so they lost some extra time doing that, I would say about a day, day and a half. Until the arrival of these seven divisions the fighting at Sala-128 should have been somewhat balanced with about 7 to 8 Loroi divisions against 9 divisions which are led by the Stray. After the arrival of the reinforcement things would go to hell really fast but in my estimates the numbers should align. I planned to put Umiak loses in Sala-128 to 4 or 5 divisions.

P.S. I plan to have this offensive be the tip of the spear that wasn't detectable via farsense, the shaft that is detectable is on the way. And there have to be probing attacks underway throughout the Seren front, not the numbers arrayed against Tinza but enough to keep the main fleets busy.

[Zarya]

Callipygian, to describe Fireblade’s rear end, a word to remember

[dragoongfa]

I wondered when someone would pick that up

Seriously I at first thought of just writing statuesque but it was too formal for a situation that asked for just a little more awkwardness

[novius]

New part is up. Just two warriors relaxing, and little more.

Though, there is a second scene that makes something that had been quite outrageous in "What to do with Jardin" completely explainable... And bears the potential for a lot of trouble down the road.

[dragoongfa]

Sigh...

This will either go full tragedy or full crack fic, don't go the crack fic route.

[Werra]

Well, if you insist...

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I have already worked out several ways for this to turn into mind rape, honor duels, mental trebidation and the general crushing of the spirits of anyone involved.

I am not bluffing.

[dragoongfa]

Sigh...

I guess it was a fun run so far...

[Werra]

Yes, feed me with your tears.

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Duskcrown or Sunfury could order Stillstorm and Tempo to deep probe Alex mind now that his Lotai is circumvented, since both Loroi sabotaged orders. Beryl/Brightshield could duel over their latest feud. Stillstorm could duel Sunfury/Duskcrown because she learns to respect Alex as member of her crew. Beryl could be mortally wounded when Tempest takes a hit, sanzaing her drawn out death straight to Alex, who is too untrained to shut out those impressions.

Aren't you excited to explore these concepts?

Edit:

Posted a small part to keep the story moving. Tried to keep any direction open.

[dragoongfa]

Sunfury is dead in the canon, killed at the collapse of Semoset.

Have fun with the story, I am out.

[Werra]

Mate, I wasn't serious. We can take this anyway we like.

You are right about Sunfury. Who are the sector and fleet commanders of Tinza-Sector then?

[novius]

Sigh...

This will either go full tragedy or full crack fic, don't go the crack fic route.

Not intending to go the crack fic route, but I thought this to be a good piece to fill a 'hole' with WtdwJ. As I said - no hybrids in this story, and Alex will definitely never learn of this. He went into that in his future completely blind...

[Siber]

Not all fanfics need to be connected. I'd daresay most of the time they're better off standing alone.

[entity2636]

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While Werra is right that the story thus far has been easy on the drama and challenges to the cast, I'm not sure it has to turn into Game of Thrones in Space where everything turns to shit for everybody and everybody dies horribly.

Duskcrown ordering Tempo to deep probe Alex - Alex is bound to protect Humanity by desroying the information obtained, resulting in the destruction of the Tempest, death for everybody and war between Humanity as Umiak allies and the Loroi.

Beryl and Brightshield dueling - impossible since Listels are non combatants and, unless Beryl is plain stupid and suicidal, will result in a dead Beryl before she can even blink. The most Beryl is capable of is a catfight with a doranzer or another listel. Now there's a thought, huh?

Stillstorm disobeying Duskcrown's orders and challenging her will most likely end in Stillstorm being declared a mutineer or traitor. Duskcrown shouldn't even bother getting her hands dirty, she can simply order the Tempest blown out of the sky and the whole fleet will obey.

Beryl killed during combat as the ship takes damage? Too soon? Although, the 51st and the Tempest in particular have shown to have too thick plot armor, I agree that they are overdue for a beating, some hull breaches, ruptured plasma conduits, fires on board and casualties.

[Werra]

I was facetious with most of that. They don't have to murder each other. Duels to the first blood or something could be thrilling as well.

It's not my intention to turn this story grimdark.

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Alex getting bullied by Razorthorn and having to work shit jobs to gain the begrudging recognition as a warrior from the Loroi is the level of drama I had in mind.
I can only throw out some plot lines and see where others take them. While I had fun writing the mind rape, I consciously posted it as a spoilered what-if.

Alex is bound to protect Humanity by desroying the information obtained, resulting in the destruction of the Tempest, death for everybody and war between Humanity as Umiak allies and the Loroi.

How is that a logical consequence of Alex getting probed? He's all alone, surrounded by xenophobic and supremacist mind readers who have a no-neutrality policy in place. If they would do that to him, the rest of humanity will only hear from it when Loroi warships appear in earths orbit. If the Barsam and Historian were still part of this story, I'd see a way...but currently? The Loroi can do whatever they want with Alex, which is a very bleak situation to be in. I don't even see him being able to blow up Tempest. He could take one, maybe two Loroi and then what? As soon as he gets into a fistfight with one of them, the whole ship knows.
Ok, it's not realistic that the Loroi of Beacons would do a forceful mind probe on Alex. But, apart from their niceness, there is nothing stopping them.

Some trouble with admiralty would be suitable though both for Stillstorm and Alex. I am looking forward to what others make of it.

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Perhabs Alex realises that by linking his untrained mind with not one but two data gathering specialists, the Loroi don't need to mind probe him anymore.

[novius]

Duskcrown - or anyone - ordering Alex to be probed would be a disastrous move. On an immediate level, Alex already turned two out of two engagements from an impending disaster to some sort of success. That's a measurable improvement, and it stands to believe that he might continue that streak. One simply doesn't slaughter the goose laying golden eggs.

Second, Alex's existence and presence on the Tempest is already widely known. Many of the Loroi see him as a 'good luck charm', and even Stillstorm got some accord with him - after all, she did place him in an advisory role. This, plus the quasi-religious implication about the humans being their template species and him being a male, any move that would cause him harm would be highly unpopular.

And even if they manage to pull it off without causing serious fractions withing the ranks, there are still the other species of the Union to consider. Especially the Barsam wouldn't take it lightly, since, purporting Alex's own words, the Loroi would prove that they'd not above treating friends even worse than the Umiak would do.

If anyone issues such an order, I'd see only three outcomes.

1. They pull it off and do a massive scale cover up, that would most likely include the scuttling of the Tempest, with all hands on board to avoid anyone blabbing, and declare her KIA, thus ending the story.
2. They pull it off, but it leaks that something untoward has befallen Alex at the hands of the Loroi, thus causing serious infighting, down to the break in the Union, and they would fall one by one to the shells, thus ending the story.
3. There's actually a mutiny on the Tempest - or the ship as a whole would go rogue -, and even if the mutineers manage to actually escape with Alex, the only place to turn to would be Earth, for the time being, and news of it would firmly set the humans against the Loroi. And even if they manage to down the Tempest on a backwater planet like the crew of the Bounty did with the Pitcairn isles, the ramifications of their actions would definitely hurt Loroi morale.

The only way I see how it wouldn't end in an epic FUBAR would be such an order would be never issued. Even just some higher-up countermanding such an order could start dissention in the ranks and Alex seriously reconsidering his stance on the Loroi at a whole, excluding the ones he knows personally.

It doesn't need to be niceness stopping them, but political acumen. Even if a Soroin or Torrai would be too short sighted or a Listel too curious for their own good, I'm sure there'd be a Mizol pointing out the ramifications of their choice of action.

[novius]

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Beryl killed during combat as the ship takes damage? Too soon? Although, the 51st and the Tempest in particular have shown to have too thick plot armor, I agree that they are overdue for a beating, some hull breaches, ruptured plasma conduits, fires on board and casualties.

Killing the sympathetic youngling of the crew would likely kill the ratings. It's more probable that Talon or Spiral might not come back from a sortie rather than Beryl, who has by her own caste's field of duty a rather 'safe' job. She's neither on the front lines nor part of the active repair or medics crew. And, with her being a living data repository and cronicler, I'm sure most Loroi would put her survival high on the priority list as well.

And, sure, Alex's luck won't last forever. But, he needs to build some credit with the Loroi first before they'd overlook some misplaced advice, or it has to be some FUBAR up or down the command chain or false intel that made them misjudge the situation.

The problem is, they're as good as cut off from any support and constantly under fire. The only way to effect repairs would be under their own power, and especially after their past successes I'm pretty sure the shells aren't likely to give them a moment to lie low to patch up things. So, any battle damage that requires them to power down necessary systems, including defense, or worse, necessitates a stay in the drydock, would doom the Tempest.

[dragoongfa]

There seems to be a disconnect between what people want in the story. I personally want to write a fun, relatively laid down to earth story; some romance, some feel good moments, some exploration of cultural differences, some drama and some tension as all stories should be.

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The connection with new frontiers and the classification of that first encounter was far fetched but can be made to work, even the whole attempt to create a human loroi hybrid drama could be made to work with an angle of loyalty and unrequited love towards Nathan by a now ancient and highly influential Loroi that used to be in the lost diral. Hell that Loroi could end up being either Greywind herself or a close friend/advisor of hers. Not all Mizol plots have to have dark undertones, paranoid secrecy yes but not necessarily darker than black stuff. Also no hybrids, it's practically impossible; someone desperate to make amends would order such research but it is practically impossible at that tech level, Beryl would be able to see it but not two Mizols.

The problem with the political drama is that it has to be smart; at this point in time Alex is practically immune from any attempts to treat him as a hostile agent, he is a recognized diplomat who has aided the war effort despite his initial treatment. Even if that wasn't enough four Loroi have gotten through his Lotai, one of them a Teidar who has vouched that his statements are true and has transferred the memories partaining to said statements to a Listel (not Beryl); one cannot simply order anything against him without just cause and without causing a massive scandal even before taking into account the delicate diplomatic balances.

I pictured that higher ups would disregard his input which would require some creative behind the scenes moves for his input to wield results when the Umiak do break through the line.

[entity2636]

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Killing the sympathetic youngling of the crew would likely kill the ratings. It's more probable that Talon or Spiral might not come back from a sortie rather than Beryl, who has by her own caste's field of duty a rather 'safe' job. She's neither on the front lines nor part of the active repair or medics crew. And, with her being a living data repository and cronicler, I'm sure most Loroi would put her survival high on the priority list as well.

And, sure, Alex's luck won't last forever. But, he needs to build some credit with the Loroi first before they'd overlook some misplaced advice, or it has to be some FUBAR up or down the command chain or false intel...

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Indeed, for Beryl to get hurt or die during combat the ship would have to take pretty much fatal damage, basically the bridge would have to be hit with shields down. That would mean a hole straight through the ship's spaceframe and the whole bridge crew dead. And I personally kind of don't want her kicking it.

She could get trapped somewhere and injured and Alex not being able to get her out on his own, e.g. her getting trapped in a corridor on the other side of a hull breach or something. This could be the result of an engagement not going according to Alex's plan or his plan being wrong due to poor intel. He'd blame himself a lot for this. Note that other than the Bellarmine incident and the here and now, Alex has not seen any combat and hasn't had people die around him, and certainly not as a result of his direct actions or lack thereof