Writing Prompts

A spot for collections of Outsider-related original fan fiction and related works.

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Razor One
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Razor One »

Okay, given that dragoongfa's account is still out of commission and his posts are still in the memory hole, I've taken the liberty to start slowly backing up New Frontiers over at a Wordpress I specifically made. First three chapters are currently backed up, more to follow as time on my end permits.

I'd love to do this for Beacons as well, but without Dragoons posts it's potentially a bit of a clusterfrak to back it up properly, so I'm putting that on hold for now until we can figure out where exactly the breaks are. Hopefully Arioch can fix the forum issues soon.

If you have a wordpress account, I believe I can make you a contributor so you can mirror posts between here and there. I'd just need your email or wordpress username to send the invite, send it to me via PM rather than in the thread though so as to prevent the spambots from consuming your soul.
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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

I am back, with a new account, can no longer claim bragging rights for my post numbers but at least my posts are now visible.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Perhaps I can help you with restoring the missing posts. When the trouble began at the 7th, the times the forum was reachable I made a backup of the two story threads. There dragoongfa's posts - hopefully all of them - were still readable.

EDIT: Looks like with the reincarnation of dragoongfa's user account his forum posts came back up again - they were never gone from the database, just not referenced for the time being.
Last edited by novius on Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Zarya
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Zarya »

Welcome back Dragoon - do you have your fanfics backed up?
(Personal favourite is Looking Forward to The Mirror).

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Arioch
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Arioch »

dragoongfa wrote:I am back, with a new account, can no longer claim bragging rights for my post numbers but at least my posts are now visible.
I fixed your user posts number so that your bragging may continue.

For my ally is the SQL, and a powerful ally it is.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Arioch wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:I am back, with a new account, can no longer claim bragging rights for my post numbers but at least my posts are now visible.
I fixed your user posts number so that your bragging may continue.

For my ally is the SQL, and a powerful ally it is.
Thanks Arioch, have I ever told you how awesome you are?
Zarya wrote:Welcome back Dragoon - do you have your fanfics backed up?
(Personal favourite is Looking Forward to The Mirror).
Yeah, I have backups both as manuscripts and as Word files. The only things I don't have backups for are the writing prompts because I write them directly on the forums.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

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I think I have issues...

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Recently in 'New Frontiers'... wrote: "My mother is a Mizol, too!"
Hmmm... Perhaps this specific diral with maybe a disproportionate number of initiates with Mizol lineage ending up in that region, just ready to come across something that requires a Mizol touch, wasn't a complete coincidence at all....?

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Also Fireblade =/ Firebrand :P.

As for the mothers and daughters of Mizols; being accepted into the Mizol requires being a strong telepath and perhaps having some minor telekinetic abilities. If a couple of daughters show moderate telepathic strength then them being sent to the rank and file of the Soroin caste should be natural.

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Zarya
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Zarya »

There’s just two on the entire group of 48. Both exhibited adjustment issues. Coincidence? I think not...
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Wanted to give the Mizol to give another good reason to stop playing games. Without any mutual trust the diral won’t be able to get Natan out of the closet
Edit: corrected Firebrand typo

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

dragoongfa wrote:Image

I think I have issues...
I didn't know your states deficit is because of your speed consumption. Welcome back.

@Bastals motivation
Well, if Nathans transportation was planned, then Bastal has them right where she wants them now. Might still just be a big coincidence.
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Also, if I read the Insider on "Rites of Passage" correctly, the Elders of the Diral that sent them there are Soroin members of their academy in which the Diral is enrolled. Since there is now an alien involved in a first contact scenario, guess which caste will have authority once the matter goes public.

The perceived naivety can be fixed by having the Diral realise in what situation they're in. I see a couple ways how their situation could resolve. (not in the story, mind you)
1. They give Nathan to the Mizol and continue their Diral
2. The Mizol hunt the Diral down with space age tech
3. The Diral calls their Elders, who then fly out Nathan, Diral continues their training.
4. The Mizol call the Elders, who then ...
5. The Mizol chill for two years and then get Nathan at the end of the Diral.

Argent may have decided that a slim chance of keeping Nathan until the end of their Diral is better than no chance. Two more years are also two years in which the Diral can think of what to do with Nathan once they move on to several years of academy training.
As for Bastal, she can't have the alien die in the woods, so she needs to know that the Diral is either able to keep a male alive or in safe hands. In this way, the deal as it stands now would be a win for both sides.

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Zarya
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Zarya »

I just fail to see how jumping through the Mizol hoop is a good deal right now.
This also has a lot to do with the style of communication adopted by Bastial and the group.

Things have gone horribly wrong. The Mizol ‘beams down’ in order to fix that, but then embarks on adding insult to injury while making the kids look and feel stupid in the process. With that I mean that she doesn’t appear follow up on her earlier resolve to play things openly.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

Hm, I thought Bastal to be rather straightforward towards the Diral. She suggested a fair contest and gave the Diral a fighting chance to get what they want. The Diral should know that the Mizol have both the means and authority to get what they want sooner or later anyway. No duplicity there.

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Razor One
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Razor One »

One potential angle for the diral is that it gives them a chance to take a measure of revenge against Nelonial by showing her up a second time. The opportunity to make her pay would be a tempting factor for them, even after two weeks for tempers to simmer down.
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Zarya
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Zarya »

Okay, I am not a believer and would have a hard time writing about the revenge-test
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Would seem to me that the torimor wants to know if the alien isn’t dead yet, as well as the relation with the mysterious lotai-effect. She would probably want to muster the warez while in the neighbourhood. And she still needs to build up a certain degree of trust to prevent a totally unproductive situation overall.

Getting her way without coercion would show how good she really is as a senior diplomat.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

People are not thinking a couple of steps ahead like a veteran Mizol would be:
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The moment the Torimor realized that the Diral members could communicate via Sanzai while keeping their minds under a full Lotai is the moment that in her eyes these teenage warriors turned into an asset worth having and bargaining with. For the moment the Diral is a 'side quest' in regards to the alien with the Lotai but they are an asset that any Mizol worth her salt would want secured in her side.

In this regard she should pursue having both her cake and eat it: a Diral of teenagers that is hostile to the Mizol due to past events and cultural background is an obstacle to her end goal of securing the alien asset but if the Diral members showcase attributes that she wants to secure then sweetening the deal to bring them into the fold of the Mizol caste is a valid avenue to pursue.

If Natan proves himself a 'worthy' warrior/asset then Bastal and by extension the Mizol caste could offer the Diral exactly that, a recognition of him as a warrior tied with and protected by the Mizol caste and him becoming a full fledged member of the Diral itself. Of course she could then point out the ruthless alternative of having to deliver Natan to the Imperial authorities who would be hard pressed into making him 'disappear' since he is a threat, both due to his Lotai and because of political reasons since the relatively young Union is unstable as it is right before (in Loroi terms) the Neridi succession war which ended with a new Emperor wrestling control of the throne, an Emperor who reinstated full central control of the Union. Natan appearing at that point of time would be an asset to any side who presented him to the Barsam, making them pick sides; this makes him a target, both to secure and to eliminate in order for the political opponents not to benefit by him. Keeping Natan hidden and out of political games is his best bet in regards to keeping him safe.

The newly minted Diral with Natan's Lotai abilities may have played a pivotal role in that war however but if the Diral managed to secure leverage they should be able to keep his involvement secret. If Bastal explain things to them and the agree to keep Natan safe then going with the Mizol proposal with some amendments is the only way.

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

That's something a highly experienced Mizol would keep in mind. But a lot to ask for from 7 year olds. I like it.
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Bastal has the situation set up so that she wins whatever the outcome. If the Diral succeeds, Nathan remains hidden in the woods for two years with a very capable Diral. The situation can also be observed from the outside, should the need for intervention arise. Then when the Diral period is over, the Mizol offer the Diral a deal that keeps Nathan hidden and allows the Diral to hire on with them after their years at school. Part of the original plan, but to the Diral it looks like a sweet deal.
If the Mizol win as Bastal strongly suspects they will, Nathan is safe and the Diral is secured as future Mizol assets.
Whatever the outcome, a fair contest should do a lot to establish trust between both sides.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Next part of Beacons is up, I apologize for the considerable delay but it was out of my hand. I had saved a large part of this entry in a draft but the issue with my account put all that to waste and I had to rewrite it. I also have a lot more to write in regards to Alex's comments about the Loroi war effort and his input about it.

I really want to continue from where I left off but I didn't want to further delay this entry. I will try to write the rest tomorrow if people give me the opportunity to do that.

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

@Werra

Regarding the writing prompt you started. I am not planning on contributing at the moment but there are some things I would like to comment and suggest on:

First things first, it needs more world building for someone else to take the reigns if only for a little bit. The current writing prompts have either a well established story behind them (Beacons) or are limited and have enough of a background world building for people to build upon. As it stands you have put enough stuff in to make things interesting but not enough stuff for someone to think creatively without feeling the daunting task of having to world build.

Caps and hats make sense on Perrein, not to block the sunlight but to offer some protection from the elements and critters of the jungle. The Mizol habit of keeping the hair locked and neatly tied in a bun should be due to this, keeping their hair under control, covered and clean should be paramount (without small and dangerous critters hiding on someone hair). The Rapier being used for duels is also a nice touch, in Europe it was primarily a civilian dueling weapon; it should be noted early on that a warrior has other blades hidden or available for proper fights.

World building, you took some basic steps in this regard but there is a lack of having a major task ahead and in need of being surpassed. This is crucial since an other writer may have trouble in putting down an antagonist, an objective and other hurdles that may be required for the story. A protagonist's motivation and basic outlook is also needed, the motivation of her needing to pass a 'trial' of sorts is well and good but what is she like beyond young, honest and foolhardy?

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

Thanks for the feedback. Not my best work I must say. Starting a story is always the hardest part..

I'm already reworking part one and will likely edit it tomorrow. It's not like I'm in a hurry as chances are slim anybody can pick up from what I put in. The idea of having an intrigue and trickery focused story via writing prompts might have been shit from the start anyway. I will see about writing one or two more parts to set up a nice framework for a story to happen in.
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Themes I have in mind are city states of dubious loyality, really, really weird Perrein cuisine, betrayal and duels of escalating intensity.
My plan is to set the world up so that it's not as close to the comic canon as one would expect. This is pre contact and pre electricity. So many Loroi traditions are different. I'll aim for a rather large and important civilian population for example. City states just screams craftsmen and rich traders to me. The warrior caste will differentiate by using the rapier, as sort of a gentlemanly weapon for duels. Civilians will mostly forgoe steel weapons in favour of clubs, spears, meat cleavers.. Don't worry about other weapons for warriors, there have been many forms of rapiers, many of which for proper warfare. Of course they'll carry sidearms like daggers, bucklers and perhabs something wild like a lantern.

What I'm saying is, give me a few days.

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