Expedition

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Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Expedition

Post by Krulle »

Thank your for sharing this story.
very enjoyable.
And the spoilered addition about Marduk?
Very nice. Different from most AI short stories, but that's part of the lure of it.

Pity nobody was fast enough to welcome Marduk and say "THANKS for giving us the formulas, and math solutions!".
But I fear 50 days wouldn't be enough to validate most of the solutions/formulas.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Next chapter is about 10% done. Will still take a while though because I'm lazy and playing Kenshi.

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Chapter 7.
---
"We were joking about you and that nissek, you know?" Nakamoto said after Seline told him and Jürgen about her visit to Graawn the day before and inviting him to the section of the ship that quartered the representatives of Humanity.

"I know." Seline answered. "But hear me out. I went to him to get some answers about his behaviour. And I learned that nissek are probably not entirely what the loroi say they are. It also turned out that Graawn is not what I thought he was. I went to confront a harasser and what I found was a shy nerd. He should be here in the afternoon after I return from class."

"You think it's prejudice?" Jürgen asked.

"Smoke is prejudiced." Seline answered. "A typical member of the Deinari "we loroi are the descendants of the soia and rightful heirs to their throne" crowd. And she thinks that she is a missionary who must spread the light of loroi civilization to the "primitives". But Wildfire had never met a nissek before this mission. With her it's hearsay. Or hearsanzai. Perhaps I'll invite her as well in the future to take away the misconceptions. But first I want to learn to know Graawn better."

Jürgen and Nakamato looked at each other and nodded solemnly.

"You both have a dirty mind, gentlemen." She said.

"We're men." Jürgen replied. "We're born with one."

"I have two younger brothers. I know all about it." Seline replied.

Seline's pad alarm beeped. "Time for Jiu-Jitsu class. And hopefully, a talk with Fireblade afterwards. Wish me luck. I have a feeling that I will need it."

---

Seline's class of Soroin troopers and Teidar marines would only stand outside the training circle when not training inside, never sit. Seline had attempted to convince them during their first lesson that it was appropriate to sit in the Seiza posture when idle, but after explaining Seiza, her students had all shaken their heads in perfect unison. It was clear that sanzai had been used to give her that response. She couldn't help but chuckle about that.

A typical class consisted of a 10 bima warm-up period, followed by a demonstration of the moves that would be taught that day. Seline explained the background and purpose of every move, how to follow up on them and defend against them. Her students would then pick a sparring partner and practice, with Seline correcting them where necessary. The final parts of the class consisted of rolling practice and a round of Q&A.

Her students were quick learners. This wasn't a surprise since they were warriors. Professionals.

And after the students left, she would spar against Fireblade for a while who showed her Loroi Judo in return.

---

Currently, Seline was lying face down on the mat and struggling to get out of a lock that Fireblade had put her in using a move that Seline hadn't seen before. It was clearly designed to break limbs.

"I want to have a conversation with you afterwards." Seline said. Fireblade looked at her as if she had gone funny in the head.

"I brought something that will enable us to have a conversation." Seline added after seeing Fireblade's expression.

Twenty bimas later both were sitting on opposite sides of a table that was placed against one of the walls in the training space. On the table was a box that contained two golfball sized orbs. The larger orb was resting on Seline's legs under the table.

"These are translation orbs. Courtesy of the dreiman and sonliri." Seline said. "Wildfire lent them to me so we can communicate. You press the side with the solid blue circle against your temple and press the ring on the opposite side. It stings a bit for a moment, but they work perfectly."

Seline handed Fireblade one of the orbs and activated hers. Slightly hesitant, Fireblade placed hers against one of her temples and activated it.

"Artificial sanzai apparently, but without the additional information." Seline spoke in her mind. "You just need to construct a sentence in your own language, think of it very clearly and the orbs translate. Very convenient." She moved her hands under the table, picked up the larger server orb with both hands, turned it upside down and pressed her thumbs down on the orb's flat bottom surface.

Seline's explanation wasn't a lie. But she had found out that the orbs could be used to translate any thought that contained language. She would inform Wildfire about it when handing them back.

The first thing that Seline had done with the orbs after Wildfire had given them to her, was try them out. She had given Jürgen one of them and followed the manual: "place server orb on flat surface halfway between parties involved, activate by pushing yellow ring on top to activate. Wait until ring stops flashing. Contact side of head with solid blue circle on terminal orb and press blue ring to activate."

It turned out that they needed to form a clear sentence in their mind and think about it quite hard for it to work.

But boys will be boys and Jürgen had picked up the server orb after staring at it for a while, begun to turn his new toy in his hands and push around the seams at the bottom, as if he was looking for a way to open it.

And this was how Jürgen found out that Seline thought that this behaviour was annoying and childish, that he had a nice ass for an older man and that his earlobes looked kind of weird.

And that is how Seline found out that by holding the server orb upside down and pressing down on its flat bottom part, the terminal orb worn by the other party turned into a wonderful little spying device. "I bet that the dreiman were quite successful during negotiations." She thought.

"This is not artificial sanzai." A voice sounded in Seline's mind. "This is the same as speaking verbally, but without moving one's mouth. It is.. cheating."

"Do you have a better idea?" Seline thought back. "You're not allowed to speak verbally and I can't use sanzai."

"It's not that I'm not allowed, I just take my training and duties very seriously." Fireblade answered in Seline's mind.

Meow jumped on the table, which seriously shook under the weight and Fireblade began to pet him.

Fireblade's voice sounded in Seline's mind again. But the lines she spoke this time clearly weren't meant for Seline to hear. Only parts could be made out and some sounded somewhat sad. But they were enough to give Seline what she had come for, namely confirmation that her suspicions had been correct: Fireblade was a very lonely person and Meow was her only friend.

"Whatever it is that you want to talk about, please make it quick, because I have work to do." Seline received.

"I want to talk about Meow and about cats." Seline thought back.

"What about Meow? What did he do this time?" Seline received.

"Nothing. I think that he's interesting and unique. Some people call him ugly, but I think that he's cute."

"Of course he's cute." Seline received on the spy channel. On the official channel she received "I don't like small talk, Seline. I have work to do. I will see you in three days."

"I brought a pad that's filled with cat stuff. It has lots of information and entertainment on it about their habits, favorite food, dislikes, body language, behaviour and antics." Seline sent.

Silence sounded in Seline's head for a few seconds. Then Seline received "I do want to see that" on the spy channel.

"You can leave the pad. I will look at it when I have time." Fireblade's voice sounded inside Seline's head.

"I can't." Seline thought back. "It's got sensitive diplomatic stuff on it as well."

Fireblade's left nostril flared slightly. "Is she stupid?" Seline received on the spy channel.

"Why would you bring a pad that has sensitive information on it?" Fireblade's somewhat annoyed voice sounded.

Seline didn't answer. Instead she sent "So you don't wan't to learn about cats?"

Silence and a neutral stare was Fireblade's answer.

"It's got movies with adorable kittens on it." Seline added.

Again Fireblade's face betrayed nothing, but Seline received a rather enthousiastic sounding "Kittens!" on the spy channel.

They make cute noises you know. "Mew. Mew. Purrr." Seline added again.

Fireblade momentarily looked at the pad, then back at Seline.

Seline picked up the pad with one hand, started a movie that had a cute kitten in it and turned it towards Fireblade so she could see it.

Fireblade's eyes grew slightly bigger when she saw the little furball. "It's so cute!" Seline received on the spy channel.

"Look at that cute little tail!" Seline sent. "Are you sure that you want me to leave?"

Fireblade blinked, sighed and sent "I swear: if this gets out, I'll make your head explode. In slow motion. Twice."

Just in time Seline suppressed the urge to think "Gotcha!". "Deal!" She sent instead. "And I'll take the fact that you didn't say that out loud as a good sign."

30 minutes later there was something that could definitely be called a smile on Fireblade's face. She was playing a video that starred 6 kittens that were discovering a backyard for the fifth time and was watching it intently. Meow was sitting next to her and was watching it as well.

"Can I ask you a question?" Seline asked verbally.

"Go ahead." Fireblade answered through the orb.

"Why do you dislike people?"

"I don't." Fireblade answered.

"Oh? I had to try quite hard to get you to talk to me. I'm pretty sure that you wanted to get rid of me."

"I do not dislike people." Fireblade sent on the official channel. "People dislike me." Seline received on the spy channel.

"Well in that case: I don't dislike you either." Seline replied.

Fireblade put the pad down and sighed. "What is it you really want, Seline?" She asked.

"I want to get to know you. Possibly befriend you."

"Why?"

"You are suffering. I don't like that."

Fireblade didn't answer right away.

"Perhaps I deserve to suffer." Sounded the answer on the spy channel and Fireblade pulled Meow to her.

"You know, Humans can read faces pretty well." Seline exaggerated. "If you were indeed thinking what I think you were thinking, then I have to say that you don't believe that. Because if you did, you wouldn't seek comfort."

"I think that you should leave." Seline received.

"No." Seline replied.

Fireblade's eyes began to narrow and she stood up.

Seline was about to say something, but Meow got up, walked to Seline, jumped in her lap and began to stare at Fireblade.

"See? he doesn't want you to suffer either." Seline spoke, the top half of her head sticking out over Meow's.

Fireblade blinked several times and sat down again. "Do I want this? Do I want to tell her?" Seline received on the spy channel. Then a few seconds of silence passed.

"Loroi are wary of me." Fireblade sent after a few moments passed. "They keep their distance. And I have learned to keep mine so I won't upset them.. I tend to survive while others around me die. This has happened several times..
I have caused the death of people by coming too close to them. Once, when I was a child, I caused the death of two people simply by approaching them while they begged me to stay away. I think that I was punished for that. I cause death..
I spent years in therapy to stop believing it. It sort of worked for a while. And then I learned what I am. The hard way."

"Yes. The Bellarmine incident and its massive fallout." Seline said.

Fireblade's arrows narrowed again.

"In case you're wondering: Jardin never revealed what happened. He kept his word."

"Is that why you're here? To get me to reveal it?" Fireblade asked.

"No, you extremely mistrustful catlover." Seline replied. "There's no need. Our intelligence agencies figured it out years ago. It's not general knowledge though. Can I have my pad? I'll show you."

Seline took the pad, opened a file, ran it through a translation program and handed the pad back to Fireblade to read.

"You should be scared to death of me. Or wary like the others at least." Fireblade said after she finished reading.

Seline smiled and wrapped her arms around Meow, her head sticking out sideways now. "Fireblade, one key cultural difference between loroi and humans is faith in a higher power. In general, loroi don't believe in this, while a lot of humans still do. Religion has been declining for a long time now, but things like faith and hope remain strong."
"Many loroi believe in Dalit instead, even if they won't admit it. Belief in dalit wasn't always a bad thing, but during the Great War it gradually became a -and I'll be frank- horrible superstition, that at its core was nothing but resignation, even nihilism, to help deal with the ever growing despair and grief that the war brought. Fortunately, this form of Dalit seems to be slowly fading, but too many still adhere to it."
"As a result, loroi consider you someone who sucks up their luck and causes them harm, while many humans would consider you a tool of providence. This results in loroi trying to avoid being near you to prevent you from harming them, while many humans would want to be near you because they think that you bring them closer to the higher power that they believe in.
Anyways, superstitions only work for those who believe in them. I don't believe in dalit, therefore I am immune. Just like Jardin was."

Seline's arms and hands began to move like a sorceror would move them when doing a spell.

"Your dark loroi powers are ineffective against me." Sounded an eerie voice in Fireblade's head.

Fireblade frowned.

"Our sense of humor really is way too different." Said Seline while looking over the top of Meow's head again while stretching in vain to try to rest her chin on it and sighed. "Fireblade, your lifespan is, what, 400, 450 years? Is this how you plan on spending it? Growing old as a lonely catlady who drowns in guilt and sorrow?
I will drag you away from that path. Maybe.. maybe I'll get you laid with either Jürgen or Nakamoto, because I bet that with your history you're still a virg..
Ha! You are! You're blushing!"

"You humans really are Nothing. But. Trouble!" Fireblade said while covering her face with one hand. "Leave!"

Seline smirked. "Fireblade, it's time for you to start living instead of merely existing."

After Seline had left a little while later, Fireblade sat motionless at the table, her face displaying a mixture of unbelief, anger, resignation and thoughtfulness. "Who does she think she is?" She said out loud because there was nobody around who could hear her, while rubbing the scruff of a purring Meow's neck in frustration. "Rrrrr frrrrewnd rrrrr" Meow sounded.

"A friend, huh?" Fireblade and looked at Meow, who turned, looked her in the eyes, blinked slowly and licked her cheek.

---

"You must be Graawn." Nakamoto said after he opened the door after the door alarm had beeped. "Please, come in. Seline's in the shower. She'll join us in a few bimas."

"Wâk. Thank you." Graawn's raspy voice sounded. "I brought some meat."

"Thank you! To be honest: I was hoping you would." Nakamoto said. "I have no idea what species it is, but the meat you left last time was superb."

"Thank you." Graawn replied. "It is from an animal we discovered on a planet within our territory. We made a few genetic modifications to it and it is now a common farm animal."

"Tum tum di dum..." Nakamoto hummed." Now where shall I put this feast? How about in my private fridge. Sorry friends, but this is all mine."

"Please, have a seat." Jürgen said when Graawn entered the lounge.

Gwaawn looked around to find something suitable.

"Here." Jürgen said while carrying a chair. "Seline brought it when she returned from class."

"That is one of ours." Graawn said.

"I think she borrowed it from one of your colleagues." Jürgen replied.

"Considerate." Graawn said.

Seline entered the room. "Hi, Graawn. Thanks for coming."

"Gwâ... Ung." Said Graawn when he saw Seline. "Grek! Just joking."

"You seem relaxed." Seline said.

"I took a pill. My original enthusiasm waned and I didn't want to come at first, but Kveez called me a hatchling and Nreep gave me a pill to relax.

"What would you like to drink?" Jürgen asked.

"I'll just have water." Said Graawn. "You won't have.."

"Draâv'tza? There's a bottle of it in the fridge." Jârgen said.

"You asked the others what I liked."

"Either that or we can read minds like the loroi." Jürgen joked.

Graawn tilted his head and moved it sideways. His right eye began probing Jürgen suspiciously.

"But we can't." Jürgen added. "I asked Gwakwântrek Brânwag. Kveez."

"You humans are lucky that they can't read your minds. I hate having to shield my thoughts whenever I am close to one of them. And when I do because I don't want my privacy invaded, they become suspicious. Sometimes we think of shocking things like "kill and eat, kill and eat" constantly. When you see a sudden change in their behaviour, you know that they have read your mind."

"Is this the main issue that the nissek have with the loroi?" Seline asked.

"Yes. Do Humans have issues with Loroi?"

"Here we go." Nakamoto said.

"Ehm, let's see.." Jürgen said. "There's a movement on Earth that lobbies for the ehm, "liberation of oppressed loroi males", most socialist movements condemn the policy that the ideologically related Umiak are not allowed to leave their worlds, many feminists complain about the tight fit of loroi armor because it "sexualizes loroi females and turns them into lust objects for human males", an organization of environmentalists named Cleanpeace wants the loroi to clean up all the "polluting spaceship debris" that is floating around because of the war, vegans have chained themselves to the gate of the loroi embassy on Earth twice because "miros are people too", Muslim, Christian and Buddhist organizations demand they be allowed to spread their religion among the loroi population, some farmers organizations are unhappy with the bad image that milk has among the loroi and have begun a campaign to change that, the Global Pacifist Initiative wants the authorities to break all ties with the Union because loroi society is a warrior society and McDonald's was suing the Diadem when we left for not being allowed to open franchises in loroi space.

"McDonald's?" Graawn asked.

"It's a fastfood chain." Jürgen said.

"You Humans sure are.. interesting."

"It's okay to say "crazy", Graawn. Even we think that we're crazy." Seline said.

"Will these things happen if the Nissek Hegemony would establish relations with Humanity?" Graawn asked.

"Most definitely." Jürgen replied. "But feel free to eat the vegans. Everybody hates them. Can I ask you a question now? It's a question I really want, but dread to ask."

"I think I know which one it is." Graawn said. "Why do nissek eat their dead? Everyone always wants to know that."

"Yes, exactly."

"To honor them and to return their remains to the Great Circle." Graawn answered. "What do humans do with their dead?"

"We bury or burn them." Jürgen said.

"To us, the first is incredibly gross and disrespectful." Graawn said. "You let worms and maggots eat your deceased. You let them rot in the dirt. Burning them is considered very wasteful. Our world is arid and has limited vegetation. Burning a body requires a lot of wood. Our world would be a desert if we had done that during our history."

"Humanity's burial rituals were invented by early humans." Jürgen said. "They believed that our homeworld itself was a life bringing goddess. Life came from the Mother Goddess and had to be returned to Her to complete the cycle."

"But we do the same thing." Graawn replied. "Except that we are the ones who complete the circle and not worms and maggots. It is our mothers and fathers who pull their children out of the Great Circle and bring them into existence and it is the children who return their parents to the Great Circle. Is there a better way? We think not."

"I completely understand this reasoning." Jürgen said. "But there is one thing that seems very problematic."

"What is that?" Graawn asked.

"You do realize that you poop out your relatives a few days after consuming them?" Jürgen said.

Seline's and Nakamoto looked at one another. "Jürgen, can you please not.." Seline said.

"It is fine." Graawn interrupted. "This point has been raised by more than one nissek philosopher. But it was concluded that as the dead transform inside us, what comes out below the tail can no longer be considered a deceased person and no longer has any link to a deceased person."

"I assume that humans do not hold their breath in the vicinity of a crematorium because breathing would mean breathing in a deceased person, or refrain from squashing whatever animals feast on the buried dead, because doing so would be akin to squashing a dead relative?"

"Ehrm, no." Jürgen said.

"So, my turn to ask a question." Graawn said. "Now that you know why we do what we do, would you, if you were invited to one of our funeral ceremonies, eat the meat of the deceased if it were offered to you?"

Nakamoto and Seline looked at each other, trying to come up with a diplomatic answer. "It depends." Jürgen said. "Can I bring curry sauce?"

Seline was about to make another angry remark, but Graawn began to laugh. "Good answer! When we ask a loroi, they usually look at us in baffled silence, like those two just did and use sanzai to call a Mizol, who then uses a thousand words to politely decline. Wââk! We like teasing them. They fall for our jokes so easily."

"Why do I think that I'm beginning to understand why the loroi are so mistrustful of you, hmm?" Seline said while rubbing her forehead.

"It's probably true!" Graawn said while laughing.

"They relied exclusively on sanzai to assertain truth for more than 150,000 years." A solemn Nakamoto began to explain. "Being alone after the fall of their creators, the loroi no longer had a use for spoken language. The other species they used to communicate with verbally were gone and slowly passed from memory."
"The near exclusive use of sanzai began to influence and later atrophy the loroi's spoken and written language, as well as their ability to decipher body language. After all: why maintain the ability to read a face, when all you need are a person's thoughts? Nature discards what isn't used. There are probably other things they lost as well."
"Art, music, poetry, their sense of humor gradually and thoroughly changed. Then, after evolution had fixed many of those changes, they came into contact with other species and the loroi, who consider themselves superior because of sanzai, soon discovered that they were at a severe disadvantage because of their sanzai."
"Unable to read the alien faces, possessing only rudimentary spoken language skills, failing to grasp that their idea of honesty was everyone else's idea of rudeness -something that caused a lot of resentment- being unable to understand the alien humor.. Even things like irony and sarcasm, when spoken, went over their heads. They were pretty much -pardon the expression- fucked."
"Sure, they can read surface thoughts. And for a short while that worked in their favor. Until it was discovered that they could. Once word spread, their advantage was gone. Surface thoughts can -and thus will- be faked. And use of a long table during negotiations to put some distance between the parties involved, prevents the reading of thoughts."
"Sanzai is awesome, but the loroi's exclusive, prolonged reliance on it cost them a lot when they discovered that they were not alone. They were deceived more than once in those days."
"A shock to the proud loroi who almost can't lie when they are among themselves and consider lying a grave sin."
"They had to train a whole new, specialized caste to overcome their disadvantages and be able to do what even our children can do instinctively. And they had to refine and expand their spoken and written language and learn how to use it again. I can completely understand why they are mistrustful of aliens."

"That was a very long time ago." Said Graawn. "But they are still mistrustful of everyone."

"Hmm.. Imagine a brutal war." Nakamoto said. "The generation that experienced that war will hold grudges. When this generation dies off, the amount of grudges drops significantly. But the generation that is born soon after the war will still see the war's effects, hear the horror stories and thus be prone to holding grudges. But the generations after that, will only know the war from photos, movies and written accounts. The war is no longer real to them and there's no reason for them to hold grudges."
"Now, Humans can live for 90 to 100 years. But the loroi can live for 400 to 450 years. The generation that lived during the Great War will hate the Umiak until they die. That's already 400 to 450 years of hatred."
"The next problem is that the loroi have the ability to share the full spectrum of their experiences directly. The generation that was born after the Great War wasn't just told horrorstories. Oh no, it got to experience the full horror in 3D VR Technicolor, including emotions and sensations like pain, through sanzai. And that generation can pass all of it to the next. And so on."
"The loroi's longevity and sanzai ensure that things -all things- can be remembered in great detail by the loroi for a very, very long time. I'm talking about many millennia. As you know, they have a caste, the Listel, that ensures this. We will have to work hard to gain their trust."

---

Afternoon became evening and Graawn invited the Human representatives to the nissek section before leaving. Seline asked him if it was alright if she brought Wildfire along and explained why. Graawn expressed that he had no problems with it and left after heads were patted and hands were shaken.

Epilogue
---
Nakamoto was a very happy and quite intoxicated man. He had gotten away with hiding the high quality meat that Gwaak had brought for all three humans that afternoon and was about to grill it in his quarters using a portable electrical grill. The humans shared a spacious lounge and a fireproof galley, but the private quarters of each representative only had a bedroom, large living room and bathroom.

"Wagyu wagyu perfectly prepared.
Its tender taste, my soul ensnared.
It's all mine and it's so good.
It really is uhm, the best kind of fooood."

"So I suck at rhyming, but you are going to be delicious and you're all mine." He said to himself, while taking another sip of sake and fetched some salt.

Something fell in the living room of his quarters.

Nakamoto left the little improvised kitchen in his bathroom -the one room without smoke and heat detectors- to check. He looked around the room and saw that the flimsy cover of one of the airducts had fallen down.


"Huh. So much for loroi engineering." He thought and bent down while reaching over a sofa to pick up the cover. "Come here, you." Nakamoto said while stretching. His fingers finally reached it. "Why does everything always fall in hard to reach places?"

"Cover later, meat first." He thought and put the cover on a table. Then he went back to his bathroom.

The board he had placed on top of two stacks of books was slightly emptier than before. The cutting board was still there and so was the grill. Salt, pepper, bottle, plate, knife and fork were also all still there.

But the meat was gone.

He remembered the fallen cover.

"SON'NABAKANA!" (What a fool [ I am]!) He yelled as his brain made the connection.

He ran back to the other room and was just in time to see two furry tails and one lower hindleg disappear in the airduct.

Two bimas passed. Then his intercom began to beep. Its screen displayed a message.

"Dear Nakamoto san,

I believe that the mass of incoherent screams and Japanese sounding profanities that made their way though the airduct system of this section of the ship a few moments ago, clearly identify you and not Jürgen as the perpetrator of a certain crime. And as you can see and I -much to my delight I admit- could hear: crime doesn't pay. Well, unless you're a master cat burglar of course.

But you can stop sharing your frustrations with the airduct system now. Everyone has heard you and Meow, who I brought and put inside the duct in my quarters to enact justice after Graawn called and asked if we enjoyed the meat that he brought, is long gone.

See you tomorrow.

Hugs, Seline."
Last edited by G. Janssen on Thu Oct 20, 2022 1:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
Cthulhu
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Re: Expedition

Post by Cthulhu »

It's quite funny, especially the dialogue with the Nissek. The only problem is to understand which line is spoken by whom in the latter part, or is all of that Nakamoto's monologue? Then, why is it broken up like that?"

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Cthulhu wrote:
Thu Sep 15, 2022 10:41 pm
It's quite funny, especially the dialogue with the Nissek. The only problem is to understand which line is spoken by whom in the latter part, or is all of that Nakamoto's monologue? Then, why is it broken up like that?"
Yes, it's all Nakamoto. I still need to proofread it. I was too annoyed to do it yesterday. When I stare at text too long, I start missing details. I skip over errors. I simply don't see them anymore. Uploading the text changes its format. The location of words on the screen change and suddenly I see things again. It's probably because I type all of this on my phone. I uploaded it yesterday, read until halfway, thought 'meh, tomorrow' and went to sleep. I'll fix the rest today.

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Snoofman
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Re: Expedition

Post by Snoofman »

Excellent chapter. Intellectually humorous!

Selina was very bold to confront Fireblade's inner turmoils. Though a bit risky when you're talking to someone sensitive and with the mental power to pierce a tank.

I also loved Jurgen's rant about Terran problems. Especially when he offered up the vegans to the Nissek. As a man who must cater to vegans at my work, I half-shamefully say, "amen!"

Meow is also one smart cat!

Can't wait for the next installment.

G. Janssen
Posts: 252
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2022 9:46 pm

Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Pff. This sucks.

I downloaded everything I wrote so I could go over it and remove inconsistencies and maybe a few typos.

Except "a few typos" turned out to be a lot of typos and other errors. And the worst of it is that I keep finding new ones no matter how many times I re-read. I guess that my brain's warranty has expired.

I have to change the way I read before uploading chapters.

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Snoofman
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Re: Expedition

Post by Snoofman »

G. Janssen wrote:
Wed Oct 05, 2022 3:34 pm
Pff. This sucks.

I downloaded everything I wrote so I could go over it and remove inconsistencies and maybe a few typos.

Except "a few typos" turned out to be a lot of typos and other errors. And the worst of it is that I keep finding new ones no matter how many times I re-read. I guess that my brain's warranty has expired.

I have to change the way I read before uploading chapters.
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Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

Well who knew an epic space adventure has time for moments seemingly straight out of seinfield?

It would be amusing though likely impossible for the Loroi to encounter someone like.... the kramer!


G. Janssen
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Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Bamax wrote:
Thu Oct 13, 2022 12:39 am
Well who knew an epic space adventure has time for moments seemingly straight out of seinfield?

It would be amusing though likely impossible for the Loroi to encounter someone like.... the kramer!

You know, I never saw a single episode of that series. I don't know why.

Anyway, I'm going to reupload The Thing and every chapter of Color of Stealth later today. I can't believe how poorly written it was in many places: unclear and incomplete explanations, messy and complex sentences, typos, wrong names, exaggerations that were just plain annoying.

Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

You are European so why would you?

Most European shows I don't watch or even know exist either. . . only only channel I ever frequented was the BBC and the Dr Who show since they are both populsr in the USA.

Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

Something I just remembered is that female Loroi are as strong as human males for their weight... which means the only way Seline could have defeated the Teidar in combat was superior skill and dodging... since just how often do women in real life manhandle or beat up guys? It's out of the ordinary... even extraordinary.

G. Janssen
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Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Bamax wrote:
Sun Oct 16, 2022 7:52 am
Something I just remembered is that female Loroi are as strong as human males for their weight... which means the only way Seline could have defeated the Teidar in combat was superior skill and dodging... since just how often do women in real life manhandle or beat up guys? It's out of the ordinary... even extraordinary.
You're right. It's quite odd. :geek:

Maybe the Teidar is a Tinydar.
Maybe Seline was once called "Bob", weighs 300 lbs and changed her gender.
Maybe in 2187 athletes no longer take steroids but inject themself with a cocktail of retro viruses that augment them.
Maybe she has cybernetic limbs.
Maybe she's a synth.
Maybe she's possessed by Pazuzu.
Maybe she got lucky.
Perhaps she's Captain Marvel in disguise.
Maybe she's a sentient hive of primordial micro-organisms that has survived for eons and can change its shape.

Or maybe, just maybe... she's just a highly trained, muscular 42 year old woman with 34 years of fighting experience (she started at the age of eight), while the Teidar is just an upstart who comes fresh out of the academy ("Teidar" without any additions like "Pallan" indicates that it is the lowest rank). And Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (and she started with that variant) is the only martial arts on Earth that is specially designed to defeat bigger, stronger opponents.

https://jiujitsutimes.com/jiu-jitsu-wor ... -opponent/
"She answered simply “I can see that the smaller person can defeat the bigger person and the technique is more important than muscle.”

https://www.bjjee.com/articles/can-braz ... opponents/
"I honestly believe that Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is the only martial arts that gives you a real chance of success against bigger opponents."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_jiu-jitsu
"BJJ revolves around the concept, taken from traditional Japanese jūjutsu, that a smaller, weaker person can successfully defend themselves against a bigger, stronger, heavier opponent by using leverage and weight distribution, taking the fight to the ground and using a number of holds and submissions to defeat them."

Sometimes I do my homework before writing things. 8-)

But perhaps I should emphasize that the Teidar is fresh out of the academy and Seline mastered BJJ before learning the Japanese variant.

And no, I don't mind criticism. Keep it coming.

Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

Perhaps yeah... if I were were a woman I would be hesitant to fight a man even with martial arts training.

Guys weigh more than women typically, so not only are they stronger but they hit harder too.

In that aspect Seline should have an advantage, since there is no indication that Loroi females have the same muscle mass men have or weigh as much.

The reason they are just as strong likely has far more to do with their bodies being mire energy efficient since they do not have to eat nearly as much.

A loroi could lift or throw like a man... but their punches will have the same force as a woman punching.

The Loroi body is like a torchship... high performance, not a lot of fuel required.... whereas the human body is like a chemical rocket, okay performance but requires a lot of fuel.

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Snoofman
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Re: Expedition

Post by Snoofman »

Bamax wrote:
Mon Oct 17, 2022 11:17 am
Perhaps yeah... if I were were a woman I would be hesitant to fight a man even with martial arts training.

Guys weigh more than women typically, so not only are they stronger but they hit harder too.

In that aspect Seline should have an advantage, since there is no indication that Loroi females have the same muscle mass men have or weigh as much.

The reason they are just as strong likely has far more to do with their bodies being mire energy efficient since they do not have to eat nearly as much.

A loroi could lift or throw like a man... but their punches will have the same force as a woman punching.

The Loroi body is like a torchship... high performance, not a lot of fuel required.... whereas the human body is like a chemical rocket, okay performance but requires a lot of fuel.
Unless loroi have stronger bones… like the Navi who got bones with reinforced carbon fibers. Or denser muscles.

Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

Snoofman wrote:
Mon Oct 17, 2022 11:24 am
Bamax wrote:
Mon Oct 17, 2022 11:17 am
Perhaps yeah... if I were were a woman I would be hesitant to fight a man even with martial arts training.

Guys weigh more than women typically, so not only are they stronger but they hit harder too.

In that aspect Seline should have an advantage, since there is no indication that Loroi females have the same muscle mass men have or weigh as much.

The reason they are just as strong likely has far more to do with their bodies being mire energy efficient since they do not have to eat nearly as much.

A loroi could lift or throw like a man... but their punches will have the same force as a woman punching.

The Loroi body is like a torchship... high performance, not a lot of fuel required.... whereas the human body is like a chemical rocket, okay performance but requires a lot of fuel.
Unless loroi have stronger bones… like the Navi who got bones with reinforced carbon fibers. Or denser muscles.
You may be on to something... remember how Alex got a bloody gash on his forehead?

Beryl seemed just fine lol.

I don't wanna say average Loroi are as tough as comicbook batman... but wow we are going there are'nt we lol.

G. Janssen
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Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

To put your minds at ease: Fireblade kick's Seline's ass almost every time they spar.

Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

G. Janssen wrote:
Tue Oct 18, 2022 11:06 am
To put your minds at ease: Fireblade kick's Seline's ass almost every time they spar.

With Fireblade that is expected though.

Seline also should not be able to defeat mike tyson in his prime no matter what kwan do or juju stuff she tries.

Since Tyson will bite if he gets frustrated and Seline is not ready for that level of viciousness... never mind his knockout punches.

Mike Tyson could even knock out Fireblade.

G. Janssen
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Re: Expedition

Post by G. Janssen »

Bamax wrote:
Tue Oct 18, 2022 9:58 pm
G. Janssen wrote:
Tue Oct 18, 2022 11:06 am
To put your minds at ease: Fireblade kick's Seline's ass almost every time they spar.

With Fireblade that is expected though.

Seline also should not be able to defeat mike tyson in his prime no matter what kwan do or juju stuff she tries.

Since Tyson will bite if he gets frustrated and Seline is not ready for that level of viciousness... never mind his knockout punches.

Mike Tyson could even knock out Fireblade.
Mike Tyson once bit Chuck Norris during a fight. After Mike had spit out Chuck's ear, Chuck went to hospital to have his ear reattached.
During the rematch, Chuck bit Mike. After Chuck had spit out Mike, Chuck gave him the ear that had fallen on the floor during the bite and Mike went to hospital to be reattached to his ear.
True story.

But I agree. Mike Tyson would whoop Fireblade's ass and bite both of her ears off.

Bamax
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Re: Expedition

Post by Bamax »

G. Janssen wrote:
Wed Oct 19, 2022 4:32 pm
Bamax wrote:
Tue Oct 18, 2022 9:58 pm
G. Janssen wrote:
Tue Oct 18, 2022 11:06 am
To put your minds at ease: Fireblade kick's Seline's ass almost every time they spar.

With Fireblade that is expected though.

Seline also should not be able to defeat mike tyson in his prime no matter what kwan do or juju stuff she tries.

Since Tyson will bite if he gets frustrated and Seline is not ready for that level of viciousness... never mind his knockout punches.

Mike Tyson could even knock out Fireblade.
Mike Tyson once bit Chuck Norris during a fight. After Mike had spit out Chuck's ear, Chuck went to hospital to have his ear reattached.
During the rematch, Chuck bit Mike. After Chuck had spit out Mike, Chuck gave him the ear that had fallen on the floor during the bite and Mike went to hospital to be reattached to his ear.
True story.

But I agree. Mike Tyson would whoop Fireblade's ass and bite both of her ears off.
That was hilarious... actually Loroi really do not want to fight any biting human since the longer ears become a serious liability in a fight lol.

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