Writing Prompts

A spot for collections of Outsider-related original fan fiction and related works.

Moderator: Outsider Moderators

Post Reply
Sweforce
Posts: 546
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:00 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Sweforce »

Onaiom wrote:"Writing Promt 1: Alex and friends" sounds more like a prequel for "What to do with Jardin".
Maybe it is: :P

This Nathan character, is there a reason WHY he ended up where is did? When the story started I suspected the "broken tree" to be a misjumped loroi ship that crashed but somehow we got him teleported instead. Maybe he triggered some long dormant transportation device, I had this idea of a Star Trek story with such a device moving an entire starship huge distances, mostly to get another take on what happened to Voyager but in a way that they could not try to go back. In that case they would end up in one of the Milky Ways small satellite galaxies.

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

orion1836 wrote:Only *one* thing I wanted to bring up: a kid raised on the frontier would have kept his blades sharp (knife, axe, AND hatchet). I'd give it a 50-50 chance that Nathan left without a whetstone (given he wasn't planning to camp overnight), but he almost certainly would have found one or more in the intervening time.
I thought along the lines as well. For Nathaniel it is a balance between overusing a maybe less-than-adequate means to sharpen his tools - tools he has no replacement for when they're whetted down too much - so he may go for 'just sharp enough to be serviceable' rather than 'sharp enough to split a silk handkerchief in half just it by landing on the blade' just to make his tools last longer.

And by Loroi standards, equipped with hightech tools, where a blade's sharpness could be measured on a nanometre or atomic scale, everything worse than the latter might register as 'dull' :)
Onaiom wrote:"Writing Promt 1: Alex and friends" sounds more like a prequel for "What to do with Jardin".
Who knows, maybe what happened on Deinar in the past has an influence on "The Highland's Four"? :mrgreen: Yes, perhaps Tempo, or more likely Fireblade, might know much, much, much more than they let on.....

User avatar
Werra
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

Beryls answer came instantly: „In the last 500 solon he has reddened 4 times so far. This is the reddest he has gotten yet. His colour returned to his normal skin colour in an average of 140 solon. I can not exclude a possible health risk, but as long as his colour reverts, the risks should be minimal. What do you think Tempo is doing with him?“

„I think you should take a deep breath.“ came Fireblades answer.

The Listel winced at the implicit and explicit reprimand in that: „How can you remain so calm? You are responsible for his security, Fireblade. Don't you want to know what the Mizol is up to?“

„Whatever she is doing, it's not going to be a security concern of a Teidar. Nor am I worried about him or her. Do you wish to return to his safe, manly arms so soon?“

„Pallan Fireblade, it is my duty as Listel to learn as much about Alex and humaniti as possible! His discovery is likely the most important in the history of the Union! Personal feelings are secondary at best here.“

As an answer Beryl received only a large dose of scepticism and two raised eyebrows from Fireblade. Beryl sighted audibly and returned to her duty of observation. These would be long solons before they could finally leave the shuttle.

After Alex succesfully fought down the mental images of Fireblade his brain had combined with shreds of some stupid kids show about mankind in the third millenium, he tried saving himself further embarrassment by changing topic.
„It will take some time for me to get used to Loroi culture, Parat Tempo. In the meantime I would like to work on establishing professional diplomatic conduct. Can we please get back to the lessons about Sanzai?

With an apparent change in demeanour Tempo returned to her well trained, seamless diction and remarked: „We have never stopped, Captain Jardin. The best way for you to learn is to experience situations you'd rather not be in. Beryl already remarked on your quick ability to learn.Your embarrassment is an excellent tool to discipline you.“
From the various associations his brain came up with, Alex managed to concentrate on Beryls praise of him. Tempo surely caught on to his relief, but Alex hoped she missed the why. He couldn't however supress the growing fatigue this lesson had caused.

„See, she was right, you do learn quickly, Captain.“ At the same time as he heard Tempo say that, he felt something strange. The only way to descripe it was as a non verbal query by Tempo about his fatigue while she was sending something else. To his surprise some part of him automatically answered. In place of an explanation he received an assurance from her that this would be a lesson for another day. His worries about plucking his mind at will were passed over by releasing his hand.
I am very pleased that you didn't miss the stealthy Mizol trickery of implanting Alex subliminal memories of a personal nature.

That is also a very interesting story idea with Nathaniel. I don't know anything about the time period however or know enough about Trade to do something with it, though.

Oh well, I'll concentrate on Beryl getting bullied, then.

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Beacons

Post by novius »

Not so much in the sense of bullying Beryl, but a good insight into Tempo's mindset.

Well... that was enlightening, Tempo mused, after releasing his hand, leaving Alex to his own thoughts.

It wasn't an idle boast that Tempo would be the best suited for sanzai training - what she lacked in raw power - though she's no slouch by any means - she knew she could make up with finesse, and with some tricks which were guardedly held secret by the Mizol.

Like the subchannel query. It doesn't work for complex questions, but for many things it is enough to route a simple question directly to the subconscious of the receiver. In Loroi - and as she saw now in Humans, too - it elicits a reflexive response, much like kicking when a hammer strikes the tendon just below the kneecap.

Interesting. How very interesting. One more example on how similar Loroi and Humans are in their anatomy and basic psychology, if not their biochemistry.

Glancing at Alex she saw that he closed his eyes, possibly having fallen asleep. Figures, she admitted, after all she did put him through the paces, and maybe it might be beneficial to give his subconscious some time to process the images she implanted in his mind...

'What did you do to him?' Came Beryl's question.

'No need for alarm. But keep in mind that I have to compress lectures Loroi normally take months to learn into a much shorter time frame. Of course he is exhausted. By my estimate, his nap would last around 900 to 1200 solons.' Tempo reassured the young Listel.

'Right, yes, but what about...' Beryl sent a picture of Alex going beet red, '... what did you send to him for him to do that?'

'That's for me to know and for you to find out.' Tempo retorted, with a decidedly smug tone in her sending, but then relents. 'I'll give you a hint. He gets easily flustered over certain aspects of Loroi culture, especially compared to his own.'

Damn Mizol, Beryl thought, how could someone so easily send answers which just leave more questions behind?, she quietly grumbled.

Of course Tempo sent Beryl the unvarnished truth. Captain Jardin - Beryl was quick to adopt a shortened version of his given name as an appellation, she herself might do so in time, too, especially given what she had in mind with him.

Originially intended to put his equilibrium to a stress test, she found out quickly that he easily got rattled when thoughts even touch their customs around male encounters, and, curiously enough, when he was to entertain the thought of Loroi warriors as potential mates for an encounter. He might already have broadened his view about that when it concerned Tozet Beryl, evidently so, but him singularly focusing on her could be ... problematic, and her acting in kind could become quite an issue.

Another thought made her check something on her tablet. Ah, there...

Normally it would be technically illegal for her to have the Tempest's crew manifest on her mobile device, but no one would ever be able to look, as it is heavily encrypted by keys the Mizol conveniently didn't share with the rest of the Union.

She quickly found Listel Tozet Beryl's entry and scrolled to the section denoting her origin.

Derrin Plains, West Shei-Lan, Maia, Tempo read. Maia, well, that explains much. Maiad Loroi were, on Tempo's personal scale, distressingly lax in the regulation of male encounters, sometimes to the point of allowing attachments to form, even if they still heavily frown on a male and female getting exclusive to each other.

That could actually work in our favor, she thought, We need him to have a reason to stay on our side, despite the odds, and a simple Listel Tozet might be an acceptable sacrifice to achieve this. Though in the long run it might be advantageous for him to be acquainted and comfortable with the Loroi way of doing things.

She would never tell Captain Jardin that she did pick up on a particular image when he thought of 'harem fantasy'... Though, what by the stars is a harem? Sure, the image conveyed a good idea what it is, and it looks as if one-on-one pair bondings might not be the only form of relationships between genders known to humans. This.... yes, this could really be beneficial.

Neither would she tell him about another, more recent image she picked up from him when she used the word 'discipline'.

Really. Her in a tight-fitting shiny black leather suit that does NOTHING to hide her figure, a stern look on her face and a ... whip? ... in her right hand?

Looks like human culture is much, much more complicated than she originally imagined.

Whatever. Captain Jardin ... Alex, she corrected herself, seems to think that a professional relationship would exclude any male encounter. This might be true for Humans, but it would be beneficial to see things the Loroi way.

Beneficial for whom, that was a thought she didn't dwell on overly much.

Just in time she noticed a certain overly curious Listel reaching out to sleeping Alex's bare hand and quickly sent the mental equivalent of a sharp rap on the fingers.

'Let him sleep. This must have been much more mental contact than he ever experienced in his whole life. His mind needs to rest and sort out impressions.'

Properly chastised, Beryl withdrew her hand, leaving Alex alone with his dreams.

Dreams Tempo wouldn't want for Beryl and Fireblade to see right now, not at the current stage of her designs. Dreams based on some images she put in his mind to let his subconscious dwell on.
Plans inside schemes inside plans. That's a Mizol for you. Beryl would be envious of her "poke his brain and see what falls out" technique :)

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Beacons

Post by Krulle »

novius wrote:

[...]

'No need for alarm. But keep in mind that I have to compress lectures Loroi normally take months to learn into a much shorter time frame. Of course he is exhausted. By my estimate, his nap would last around 900 to 1200 solons.' Tempo reassured the young Listel.
900 Solons?
1 Solon is 1,092 seconds, that makes it 16:22 min:sec to 21:50 min:sec.

That's just a nap...
Bet she's in for a surprise then....
So, here we go...


Sleepyhead
Alex woke up with a groan. But a least no headache.

Fireblade has, in the meantime, moved away, but Beryl was still sitting close. Snoring slightly.
It's been way too long I woke up next to a girl snoring... he thought, with a slightly longing look.

Tempo was also gone. But the guards were still present, even if they moved over to the shuttle's doors.

Then he noticed that the lights of the shuttle have been dimmed.

He smiled at guards and asked "Is everything all right?"

One of them said "Yes."

He looked at her and waited for more information, but no elaboration came.

Ah, yeah. Not used to talking....

The door of the cockpit opened and closed, and Tempo came down the aisle towards him

"Captain Jardin, while you were asleep, the enemy has made the next steps. They have sent another six divisions coming from Rallis, and this time it's a gatecrasher force."

"Gatecrasher force?" he asked.

"That's what we call a minimum supply convoi they use in their attack missions. This group also contains tankers and transport ships." Tempo added.

"Uh... That does not sound good."

"No, it does not." Beryl interjected. Tempo must've nudged her telepathically awake.

"What the Enemy commander said... bypassing Azimol citadel.... What is beyond Enedd?" Alex asked, while his head did start to feel slightly headachey.

"The reserve fleet base at Nezel. If the enemy could break through there, beyond lies largely undefended territory." Beryl answered, with a clear worry in her face.

"Yes. And we've started to observe the Umiak refuel and resupply their vessels." Tempo added.

"Ugh." Alex groaned involuntarily. "How long have I been asleep?" He asked.

"About 400 bima." Beryl replied. "How long is a Human sleep cycle anyway?" She immediately asked.

"Uff. I thought we already talked about that. Aboard the Tempest?" Alex answered, and he felt his throat to be really dry.

"Marginally." Beryl replied. "We talked about Earth, and your time measurements, but not about your physiology."

"Well, it's too early in the morning for that." Alexander replied. "Can I have some water, please. And I'm hungry, so breakfast would be nice."

Beryl looked away, towards the shuttle's doors. Turning back to him, she said "Water, and something to eat will be brought shortly. In the meantime: how long does a Human sleep, on average?"

"I'm sure you've observed me while keeping me safe aboard the tempest, but about 8 hours a night, in a total cycle of 24 hours a day." Alex answered.

"So, as we thought, your home planets rotation also dictates your daily rhythm. About 400 bima in a sleep cycle." Beryl calculated.

"Where are we now?" Alex asked.

"Aboard the station Gora-relay. We had to find a safe spot, and the enemy stopped pursueing us. They are apparently content in blocking the Gora jump point outside our weapon range. But the station's commander has commanded that you are not to exit the shuttle." Tempo said. "The backdraw is, that we cannot move away for now. The station's commander did extend courtesy to us and has refueled us though, even if only as a last-ditch emergency exit. But also she made clear that should the shuttle try to fly away from the station while the system and the jump point are in the Enemies hand, she will destroy us."

"Those are not the news I want to wake up to." Alex commented.

"Neither is this the news we wish to share with friends." Tempo said.
She took a short look at Beryl, and left. Clearly, there have been comments, observations, maybe instructions, using Sanzai.

Alex looked at Beryl, who was apparently always observing him. "Does the shuttle have a sanitary station I can use?"

She pointed backwards, and said "To the left."

He went back, and found a small sanitary room, and something like a hand washing basin. He relieved himself, and then used the basin to spray some water into his face.

Meanwhile, he thought about the lesson the Mizol has given him. Culturally. Apparently, the Loroi do think differently about relations. And apparently exclusivity is slightly frowned upon, especially with lower ranks like active military.

Man, this whole blue-elf space amazon story started to become a male-fantasy trope.

Oh yeah, the Mizol also picked up on the image of Harem.

He flushed slightly.

He saw his ears turn red in a mirror.
And I need to stop getting red every time. I'm not a child, and certainly not a virgin anymore. he thought with a smile.

What else? Yeah, that last question and image. And the reply his mind reflexively gave.

Fatigue, was the question, and what was his reply. yes, no? Both. Ah, the subtext. No, being fatigue can get in the way of mating; was one question/answer set, and the other was "Yes, fatigue activates the Lotai. How would he know that? Yet that was the answer he gave, and he felt it was true. So, lowering the Lotai would have to be a very conscious, active decision. That's advantageous in protecting his thoughts. Yet the last few times Tempo or Beryl touched him, his Lotai was apparently down right from the start.

He finished refreshing himself, and went back into the cabin.

Beryl had rearranged some chairs at the front, which now included a small table. Some water, and some different dishes with food were there.

Time for a small experiment before I get food I don't like he thought. He walked to the front, deliberately choosing the side closest to the shuttle doors, where the guards stood.

When passing by, he reached out and touched one of them deliberately on the naked hand.

"Hello" he thought.

No reply, but she pulled her hand away, and the other guard had her handarm drawn.

He raised his hands, and simply said "Sorry, I wanted to test something regarding my Lotai." He lowered one hand slowly, and put it forward, and said "This is a human greeting ritual. Hi, my name is Alexander."

One of them looked at Beryl, who was already on the move towards them. The other guard answered "My instructions do not permit me to touch you, or talk with you. You are to stay aboard this shuttle."

Alex shrugged his shoulders, and said "Sorry for the interruption", turned and left for the front of the shuttle.

When Beryl and him met him, they stopped, and without asking he touched her "Hello".

Beryl looked at him, and replied "Uh, hello? What was that?"

"Just wanted to test something. How much effort it takes to pull down my Lotai to Sanzai with you." Alex replied.

"And?"

Her curiousity obviously has won her over again. He started walking down the aisle, forcing her to let go of his hand, to turn around and walk next to him.

He reached out and held her hand. "Nothing." he replied. "I thought of the same 'hello' as I did to you, no further efforts, yet you could understand me clearly, she could apparently not."

She looked back, and when she turned to him again, he saw a smile on her face "Indeed. She confirms she received nothing from you. Interesting."

"Yes indeed. My Lotai is apparently also depending on whether I trust you." Alex commented.

"Don't you trust them?" Beryl asked.

Alex could certainly noticed the mental satisfaction in her reply. Yes, Beryl was apparently very... territorial of him.
"I trust them not to shoot me without reason, but that's about it." he replied. He imagined playing kids on the street, holding hands while running somewhere, and sent that image with a thought of laughter to her.

The reply came faster, much faster than he expected, and included an image at night, of adults, walking hand in hand along a shoreline with a moon glittering over the water.

She let go of him, and he noticed her ears turning a much darker shade of blue.

Ha! he thought. Apparently I can incite reflexive answeres too. One trick learned, Tempo!

He smiled at her, and sat down at the table, which included two sets of dishes, as he noticed. While she sat down, he took a sip of the water. He pointed at the different dishes, and asked "Would you care to explain to me the food we have in front of us?"

She smiled at him, and said "Since we are docked at the station, we are not limited by the recently rather drained stock of the ship, so I had a larger selection brought over, in the hope we could find something more suitable for you. The medical computer of the station here proposed based on the scanned data some foods, which it thought would be most agreeable to you. Most of the stuff actually comes from my home world, Maia. Maia is a planet that has been extensively transformed several times, and most of the transforming empires left quite a range of organisms on the planet. Maia itself apparently never got to multicellular organisms. But we have sea life transplanted from at least 12 different planets, trees from 17 different planets, grains from at least 4 different planets, and so on... On top of that, there is life which has apparently been specifically created for Maia, as well has a large range of Soia-Liron organisms." She started pointing at different dishes, and explained briefly if that was sea food, fish, animal, bird, plant, fungus, (from which planet it was trasnplanted, if the Loroi knew, or whether it was unknown) and how it was processed to achieved the current state. One slice of something caught his attention, because it was made from a grain, soaked in water, mixed, some fungus was used to alter the grains properties, and finally heat was used to dry it again. Next to it was a small dish of a whitish creamy stuff, which apparently was made from maternal milk of an animal.

He took a slice, and took a bite. Hmm. he thought. Finally something bread like.

Beryl looked at him, and seeing his relaxed facial muscles, commented "Finally something to your liking, Enzin?"

"Yes, this is actually close to something we have on Earth we call 'bread'. Whether my stomach will agree remains to be seen, that could take up to 10 hours to find out, but at least it tastes good. Would you care to show me the customs of your world, by joining me for this breakfast? And show me how you on Maia eat this stuff?" Alex asked with a smile.

Beryl also took a slice, and a knife, and showed him.



In the cockpit, Tempo observed the situation in the passenger cabin on a small screen, and with a telepathic command ordered the two guards to leave the cabin and guard the shuttle from the other side.

She took a look around. Yes the shuttle's cockpit has changed, but they've had more than enough preparation time while the totally exerted Beryl caught up on her sleep deficit, and while Alex had a complete Human sleep cycle. But it was the only smaller room available, besides that rather cramped sanitary room. When he had to sleep aboard, this room would have to do.
Whether Alexander would be as goal-oriented as a Loroi male remained to be seen, but she would not have that Listel have 'first contact' (as Alexander's mind playfully described on of the situations) all alone. This would definitely teach him differences in their societies on a practical scale, which is more useful than just telling it theoretically.
His mind has proven to be a very rich source of entertaining on this subject.
This time aboard could become very entertaining, and if that happened, well, this cockpit would have to be much more comfortable than sleeping in the chairs in the cabin...

She continued observing the two, so she could interfere if something happened. And if nothing would happen, she would interfere too.

But apparently Alex was hungrier than a Loroi male would be in his situation, or he was stronger resisting her suggestions than she expected him to be.

Luckily for her, Alex and Beryl did not use sanzai now, so she could hear everything.
But for most parts it were rather boring elements. She explained the food, usually several times, and showed him how the inhabitants of Maia combined them. But clearly, both became aware of the setting. 'romantic dinner' was what Alex' mind has said. Interesting concept, but not unheard of in the kind of literature any military does not want aboard, but invariably is always aboard a ship. And it was obvious that the Listel was revelling in the attention he drowned her in.

Alex finally put down his cutlery.
Using her Mizol clearance, Tempo made one last check whether the systems of the shuttle have not been infiltrated by the station, and that anything said and done inside would not be monitored from the outside.
Tempo stood up, and indeed, Alex put one arm with his hand towards Beryl over the table for Beryl to be taken.
She pressed a button, which switched off the monitors and the audio feed from the cabin.

She left the cockpit. "Sorry to interrupt" she said. Just in time. she thought, noticing the two have not touched hands yet. "Captain Jardin, I must remind you that you are not to leave the shuttle. As the commanding officer of the diplomatic convoy, I have been tasked by the station's commanding officer to keep an eye on you, which is her way of saying she wants no Mizol on her station now. Beryl here will continue to be your primary contact, as her experience as Listel will be most beneficial in having a picture as complete as possible about humaniti when we get somewhere where decisions can be made. As such, I give you now the option to either enjoy our presence and have ask us about whatever topic you wish to learn more about, or whether you would desire to continue your training regarding your mental disclipline and your Lotai?"
I've made an elaborate setting, I know. But the fact that Tempo is interrupting at this precise moment is very disturbing for a Human male libido (having first-hand experience myself...). So Alex might resent this and thus go for something else (like discussing tactics, or stories of old of the Loroi and their creators, the Soia,...) instead of going for knowledge about these two enticing females. Feel free.

Sorry, got much longer than I intended to.
Again, just wrote it down, and never found the sweet spot to stop....

I also I hope I didn't mess up the shuttle layout, or anything else. (At least not accidentally.)

Again: if you feel like you prefer a previous point to pick off from (preferably with a link to the post you wish to continue), please ignore my ramblings.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

User avatar
Werra
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

It's fine. I enjoyed that part. You weren't rambling at all. Perhabs we should pick a story hook that is not dependant on the main comic as much as the shuttle the crew is in. Keeping Alex in the shuttle and not advancing the story seems to take a lot of effort.
Tempo entered from the cockpit. The sound of her voice made him halt his hand reaching for Beryls. Turning his head he watched as Tempo made her way towards their table. Now that he was used to her sight he noticed things about her. Her agile walk, her slender frame, the way she searched for his eyes mentioning enjoyment, her offered hand promising more of her memories. Her whole body was an invitation. While a part of his mind registered and categorized the meanings of her words, Alex attention shifted through this situation like it did running wargames with Mazeys boys. (page 93)

'How untypical of Tempo to be this clear. She kept me guessing even in Sanzai.' thought Alex,'and now she isn't even taking a look at what is on the table.' Then as Beryl next to him literally scowled at Tempo it dawned on Alex. Loroi use Sanzai and Sanzai is truthful, direct and clear on the feelings. They rarely use body language. Alex knew that just as a Loroi could run circles in Sanzai around an untrained human, a human could take advantage in nonverbal communication. Memories and tidbits of information now connected in his mind, forming a clear picture of this Mizol in front of him. He was angry with himself that he did not realise what it meant when Tempo cut off Beryl from explaining the duties of a Mizol.
'Fine, if you want to play a game with me, then you shall have one', resolved Alex.

He was done with his thoughts when Tempo reached their table, so as an answer he gave her a smile and a friendly wave of his hand motioning for her to sit. Alex beamed at her: „Ah, Parat Tempo, please join us. Beryl was just telling me about the food from her home planet Maia. I was pleasantly surprised by how well Beryls tastes sit with me. I'm feeling remarkable.“
'Give Beryl a verbal compliment and keep smiling at Tempo. Make her second guess herself.'

Tempo answered his smile with one of her sly ones, but her eyes darted over to Beryl, whose sour expression revealed their Sanzai. To him she said: „I am very pleased for you, Captain Jardin. Maia is famous for its foodstuffs. If you can stomach some of our food, that solves most of our concerns for your health.“

Alex replied: „It also helps me replenish my energies after you drained them yesterday. There were some intensive impressions in your training.“
'That got a reaction from you. I know exactly what you are remembering now, Tempo.' Though Alex had to admit that he now also remembered her agitated breathing. Well, that was the price he paid to see her eyes flashing for a moment, confirming his suspicions about Tempos intents.

Beryl anxiously interjected herself: „You looked very strained. I am concerned this training is stressful to you, Enzin. Loroi have years to learn these lessons. Perhabs you should take it slower in future.“

Beryls face showed genuine concern for him at that. Alex remembered something she had told him the first time they met. Loroi take care of their males and keep them safe. 'I wonder how Beryl will react when she realises that I volunteered for the most dangerous duty in the human fleet.'

So to both Loroi he said: „My health is secondary to my mission. Now that Earth and Loroi have established contact, it falls on me to parley mans part in the war effort.“ To Tempo he said: „I can ask you about any topic I wish? Then let us talk about ways humanity can help you kill Umiak.“

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

Oh, there have been previous sessins which diverged a lot.
I just felt like having an opportunity to bring the current arc back in again... jsomewhat, because the shuttle here is docked, in-comic it is still running)...

Now on to read your addition.

Edited to add:
I wonder if the Loroi females will catch on to "man" and its longer term "mankind" as colloquial term for "humanity". That might be somewhat touching their self-image as warriors and providers for their species...

Also, I think I would've ended with ".. can help you squish a bug" or "the bugs"....

Otherwise I have an idea, but don't know how to hook that in right now. So I'll await the next part.
Also, I need to read the parallel story, skipped it only so far...
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

User avatar
orion1836
Posts: 399
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:38 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by orion1836 »

Definitely taking some interesting turns. Before we know it, Tempo will be piping Marvin Gaye into the PA system. :mrgreen:

User avatar
Werra
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

I actually wanted to take their chat into a different direction. One where Alex turns the tables on Tempo by his sensing of Loroi body language. But my vocabulary and sense of English isn't up to the task. So I settled on him remembering his duties to humanity to open up a way to steer this story back from straight up smut.
I must be fun at parties.
Krulle wrote:I wonder if the Loroi females will catch on to "man" and its longer term "mankind" as colloquial term for "humanity". That might be somewhat touching their self-image as warriors and providers for their species...
Shouldn't be that difficult of a concept. They already know that Alex is in a fighting profession. What could really screw with them is Alexnot following up on his obvious attraction to any one of them in service to diplomatic conduct according to a human ideal. They'd be able to deal with him picking one, but if he picks none at all?
Krulle wrote:Otherwise I have an idea, but don't know how to hook that in right now. So I'll await the next part.
I'm sure we can leave you some hooks you can use. What would you need?

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Werra wrote:Shouldn't be that difficult of a concept. They already know that Alex is in a fighting profession. What could really screw with them is Alexnot following up on his obvious attraction to any one of them in service to diplomatic conduct according to a human ideal. They'd be able to deal with him picking one, but if he picks none at all?
Knowing something and really understanding are still two different concepts. Yes, Alex served on the Bellarmine, but they might cling to the fact that that ship was on a mission of peace - not a warship. Thus, Alex not being on a high-risk assignment, they might think.

Same would go for Alex remaining celibate. The concept of males forgoing ALL sexual activity would be nigh inconceivable to them - for their males it is mate, or suffer and perish. Beryl had asked him about that, sure, but still she might cling to the idea that while a male might go without, it would be highly unpleasant for them. Tempo, on the other hand, she actually experienced his attraction to Beryl - and her - firsthand, and for a similar reason she might never consider him spurning them.

Add to this, Loroi do have a rather matter-of-fact view of sex. And given that meetings between genders are rare and highly regulated, they would normally see sex as part of a business deal. So it might be another hurdle for them to accept that a human might have both things strictly separated.

User avatar
Werra
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

True, true. So far cultural exchange went extremely well. Sooner or later our group will have to run into major roadblocks.

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Werra wrote:I actually wanted to take their chat into a different direction. One where Alex turns the tables on Tempo by his sensing of Loroi body language. But my vocabulary and sense of English isn't up to the task. So I settled on him remembering his duties to humanity to open up a way to steer this story back from straight up smut.
Not intended to steer it that direction. Tempo might have - well, all in the spirit of good relations and mutual understanding, of course ;) - but she's definitely in for a wakeup call that humans do have a much bigger baggage riding on relations between genders.

It might take some time for her to relent and realize that what he and Beryl have would be perverted and deviant by Loroi standards if it progresses any further - something both of them would like to -, but a completely acceptable and encouraged thing amongst humans.

But, the measure of a true Mizol might not be how well she copes with bad situations, but how well she turns them to her advantage.

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Beacons

Post by novius »

Well, once I got in the flow....

For Beryl it was a rollercoaster of emotions. Not that she had any idea what a 'rollercoaster' actually is.

She was aware that something new had been added to their little talks. Well... come to think of it, it might have been already there even before, but just now she got acutely aware of it.

Yes, I'm attracted to him, she admitted to herself with a breath of relief. A sidelong glance over to him, seeing how relaxed he looks, casually letting her remain in his private space...

And the sanzai, just before.

He did it without even touching her. And just right now.... yes, she thought with elation, he is here. Faint, but there. He said.... sent! He sent that his Lotai seems to react on the level of trust he has towards one of us.

The realization that he had that level of trust in her that even his subconscious would lower its defenses warmed her heart.

Beryl lacks the words to describe her emotions, Trade is rather inelegant to do so, so she was never able to put into words that she has fallen for him, hard.

Their private moment was rudely interrupted when that damnable Mizol showed up.

Alex gave her a sidelong glance, seeing her face, and just a solon later she felt a wave of reassurance. Not quite fully-framed sanzai, just a feeling that could be translated to 'No worries, I'll handle this', followed by him directing her (mental) eyes to Tempo. 'Watch.'

Either it was Tempo's presence distracting him or having his Lotai up, or he tried to send quietly, for Tempo not to pick up on his sanzai.

But, watch she did. She listened to Alex's spoken words, and took in the reactions they elicited in Tempo. Without his direction she'd surely have missed it.

Beryl tightly sent a question to Alex, emphasizing on how she did it in a way for eavesdroppers not to pick up on her thoughts, hoping he would catch up on it. 'It feels as if I'm missing large parts of it.'

His response came almost immediately, somewhat clearer. 'You do. I'll explain.'

"There were some intensive impressions in your training.", Alex just said. There it was, again. Tempo tensing up for a fraction of a solon, and a slightly hardened look around her eyes.

Though, his spoken words elicited a reaction in her. The feeling, that has been drummed into her by genetics and culture. The need to protect the precious, rare male. Coupled with a raising ire on how Tempo could even dare to run him down that much?!

She had to do something.

"You looked very strained. I am concerned this training is stressful to you, Enzin. Loroi have years to learn these lessons. Perhaps you should take it slower in future."

Of course her words were more directed at Tempo rather than Alex himself.

His answer made her heart bleed even more. There was a male, someone every decent Loroi warrior would just feel the need to protect and he had been mistreated, mindraped and stuffed in a brig. And still he held out for her people and actually trusted her on a level that they could actually send to each other.

She felt ashamed. This alien turned out to be a far, far better warrior than many of her own kind.

That brought her thoughts briefly to a certain red-haired Teidar.

Eat that, Fireblade! You think he has to live up to your expectations, but you got it wrong. It is us who have to live up to his., she grimly thought to herself, and she swore to herself that she'd stay true to him in good and bad.

'Huh.', came Alex's stray thought, 'you just quoted one traditional marriage vow'

A vow? Well, it was one, true, but that unfamiliar English word? Marriage? What's that?

And, she was not even aware that she sent to him.

What by the stars is happening to them?

In the waking world, Tempo was, for a lack of a better word, unsettled. She had to admit, she overestimated the impact of her subliminal images on him - well, most Loroi males would be mush by now - and grossly underestimated his conviction to 'the Cause'. His sense of duty would even rival Pallan Fireblade's, for sure.

And yet, there was something else.

Captain Jardin and Tozet Beryl never touched each other during their experiments with the foodstuffs, but they acted around each other with a familiarity one can only see if they are around each other since a long time, like being part of a diral.

Or having an active sanzai.

I'd commend you for progressing that quickly that you could send to her without having to touch her, but it seems you wish to keep it under wraps. Might be the idea that singling her out would be met with repercussions did take hold. Tempo thought to herself.

Time to try a different tack. If he values duty that highly, perhaps....

"I... admit ... that I haven't thought that far, since your original mandate only covered to negotiate a peaceful existence with any of the parties involved, didn't it?"

That barb wasn't lost on Alex. He could have easily ended up opening talks with an Umiak and they all knew it.

"It did, but you made it clear that we could either coexist with the Loroi or with the Umiak, but not both of them. And if siding with one of you puts us in a state of war with the other, it is our lot to make sure the side we pick wins."

"And it is just by chance that we happened to find you drifting in space."

"True, but I am sure that any peace talks with the Umiak would have been doomed from the start."

Now that got Tempo's attention. She leaned forward, intent on capturing any word he may say - and maybe think.

"How so?"

"I could say it started with having a good look at an Umiak, the one that contacted us. Many humans do have an instincive fear and aversions towards insects. We are ... repulsed by them on an almost instinctive level. Second, what you described of their society fits the picture we have of insects. A society where the individual counts nothing, but the Hive as a whole everything."

"Surely you noticed that we put the Union's welfare before our own as well?" Tempo challenged.

"I did, but correct me if I'm wrong, but you do choose that career? You could have dropped out into civilian life, but it was your own free will to do your part for the Union?"

"It is a bit more complicated than that, but I see your picture. We are allowed our choices in life, the Umiak and their vassals are not, you mean?"

"Exactly. Insects are born, ... hatched ... whatever ... to a specific task and role in life and they're bound to it. Sentient insects may expect the same level of self-sacrifice from their servitor species."

Tempo rose both eyebrows, mirroring Beryl's equally surprised expression.

"For a species you never had contact with you know them pretty well. Did these Orgus tell you all of it?" Beryl interjected.

"Well... no. They only described Umiak in general, and it just pulled up the picture of insects in us. There's the thing - we do have many fictional works on how encountering alien species could have worked out for us. They could have been benevolent, they could have had their own hidden agendas, and they could have been completely alien to us, as in, the motivations driving the hypothetical alien species would be completely different to ours, that they evoke fear and loathing."

"So you actually simulated how First Contacts could play out? A fascinating idea, please continue." Tempo prompted.

"Thing is, the insect's way of life squarely falls into the latter category. There is a whole trope of entertainment media where the hypothetical aliens is a species with insect-like characteristics. Both in looks and behaviour. And only in very rare cases the story ended peacefully.... More often than not the encounter with such a species resulted in a war, in the story."

Tempo went silent for a long time, then nodded. "I see what you mean. Humans have fictional war stories as entertainment? And wars with species similar to The Enemy on top of it?"

Alex's left corner of his mouth rose. "If you ever get the chance, look up 'Starship Troopers' and the 'Alien' series. Age-old, but it popped up right after the Orgus landed and described the lay of the land. Though... maybe better not. Especially 'Alien' is not for the faint-hearted."

Beryl huffed in annoyance. Faint-hearted, indeed! She'd show him faint-hearted!

Although, she had to admit, that it's mightily cute that he in turn actually cares for her wellbeing....

Tempo noticed Beryl's ear tips getting a deeper shade of blue and inwardly grinned. Now you're in for it..., she thought to herself.

"Now I am curious enough to have a look. But I see what you are saying. Coexistence with the shells is something humans would consider repulsive, and the chance for peace with them would be a remote one at best." Tempo summed up.

"The only reason the Umiak had been on the list was because we knew literally nothing about you. From our perspective, the Loroi could have been even more repulsive to us, and what the Orgus told of the Tithric's and the Mannadi's fate didn't help your case."

"So your choice had been between a complete unknown, but with a horrible reputation, and a species that elicits a reaction of revulsion in you." She concluded.

"And I chose the complete unknown."

"Even before you met us?" Beryl asked.

"Even before I met you. I stood ramrod straight in front of Captain Hamilton, he let me wait for what felt like an eternity, and the first thing he asked was - 'Loroi or Umiak?'. I said 'Loroi'."

"Why so?", Tempo cut in.

"He asked the same. And my answer was that I was less concerned with what you do to your enemies compared to what the Umiak do to their friends."

Tempo smiled. A real, genuine smile. "I'm relieved to hear that, while you being here happened purely by chance, that we would have been your conscious choice. But I bet you only thought to make contact and leave the rest to the diplomats, and now you have little other choice but getting ... deeply immersed ... into Loroi culture."

There it was again, Alex thought. Tempo still couldn't resist but lace in some innuendo.

Beryl's thought cut in.

'I picked that up, too. And ... maybe you better give in a bit to her. I think I have a good idea why she does these things.'

Beryl's sanzai was laced with a subtext of quiet resignation. She didn't like what Tempo did one bit, for sure, but for some reason she thought it important for him to ... what? Give in to Tempo's suggestions?

"But, let me come back to your original question. What humans could contribute to the war effort. I'd wager the best assets your people have are ... yourself", she finished after a dramatic pause.

"Come again?"

"Not what you think I mean, to be sure." Well, maybe not entirely so..., Tempo added in her own thoughts. "While your technological base is, forgive me for saying it, inadequate I have to commend you for your efforts and determination to reach out that far in hopes of finding us, facing a journey that could very well turn out to be one of no return. Trust me, that kind of dedication is a rare thing. But, there's something even more tangible your people can offer. Allow me? And, please, Tozet Beryl, do join in."

With the last words she offered her hand, and Beryl, after a moment of flustered hestitation, followed.

Having enough practise, Alex felt out for Beryl's and Tempo's minds and found them quickly enough. Beryl was already asking what this is about, but Tempo's focus was ... outwards, for a lack of a better word.

'Now I'll let your hand go. Please don't be alarmed.', Tempo sent.

"...I've confirmed with Arrir Talon. Let's just say she became quite unsettled when the two of us 'dropped out of sight', so to say. I've suspected as much, but now I know - whoever is in close contact to you benefits from your Lotai. But, given that it didn't happen all the time - you touching Arrir Talon didn't make her invisible to us - I think it requires some trust between you and us."

Alex silently asked Tempo to elaborate.

"Given the most recent blow we might need to pick up on asymmetrical warfare. Our fleet and strike group battle doctrine ... bought us time, but now The Enemy is starting to drown us in numbers we simply cannot match. We need to strike them where it hurts. Infiltration. Sabotage. Espionage. Information warfare. What I have in mind are Human/Loroi deep infiltration squads where the human's part is to make the whole squad invisible. Because, if The Enemy can become invisible to Farseers... it wouldn't be a stretch to think that they have Farseers on their own, too."

"This actually makes sense, in a wierd way", Alex admitted.

'Not quite what I had guessed. I'll explain later', Beryl's sanzai cut in.

Tempo didn't mention that she indeed had another set of ideas to employ humans in mind. Since the regulations around male encounters were introduced to fight overpopulation but kept as a reward scheme, a group of human males on board a ship could doubly serve for ... morale reasons. After all, if her suspicion is correct, such infiltration squads she had in mind would need for the Humans and Loroi to actually bond to each other. On what level, that remains to be seen. And, perhaps, in time, they could bridge the biochemical differences between Humans and Loroi. Introducing a nigh impenetrable and selectively active Lotai into the Loroi gene pool... yes, that could be a goal the Mizol might pursue.

That Humans and Loroi do find each other attractive could be beneficial for, well, research.

It just remains to see what it takes for a human to act on said attraction.

Tempo smiled inwardly. I'm sorry, Captain Jardin, but I won't let you off the hook that easily.

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: beacons

Post by Krulle »

edit: heh, ninja'ed again. Should've sent this off before I went to lunch...


[Edit to add]I think I can salvage this somewhat. Working on this.[/edit]
[Edit again]I think I can't get all dents out for now. Maybe later...[/edit]


continuation of http://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vie ... 943#p30943
Beryl was frustrated. She had to admit it. There was no other word for it.

The "day" started so fine. She had a wonderful "breakfast" with Alexander, which was a real morale booster. Alexander was curious for her, her world, and whatever she said. He listened. And he posed the right questions, too.
For all intents, this was a male who was interested in her. And she was interested too.
It felt so familiar, sitting at one table and just chatting. That was so enjoyable.
But that damn Mizol!

How did she know just when to appear and butt in between us?

She practically denied us all telepathic contact, but for the most simple one, because Tempo appeared whenever there seemed to be a chance to do so. Since the morning food this has been the case.
When he placed his hand on the table, more like across the table. She had wanted to put her hand on top, when the <-argh-> appeared...

Also, Alexander praised me at nearly all possible times, in front of my commanding officer for this mission. But he was in such cases nearly always looking directly at Tempo, and not at me.
Why?
What does that mean?
Obviously, he is interested in me, why else would he praise me like that?
But he seems to be interested in Tempo only, because he's looking at her.
Does he want to make me jealous?
Well... I am.


She sighed, and tried to turn a bit.

That damn Mizol denied her permission to leave the shuttle to find a bed on the station. She had to remain close to Alexander "for the complete record". But Alexander was sleeping in a make-shift bed in the cockpit after his last training session with Tempo, while she had to sleep in one of these... chairs.

At least the Mizol was also not aboard right now.

Alexander conceded that Humanity was simply too far behind technologically, and industrially, to be of any real help. Their solar system with locally grown food they could use as refueling base. But it was too far out for effective use. And without contact, nothing was possible right now, but they did learn that Humanity as a whole would likely side with the Loroi instead of the Umiak, for the looks of the Loroi and Umiak alone. Humans seem to have a nightmare of being subjugated by "insects", and would squish a bug. They apparently fear genocide less, but would fight being enslaved or destroyed with all they have available.
Also, Humans valued "individuality" to a degree, that their society would likely collapse under the uniform rule of a "hive mind" like the Umiak's. They were disgusted by The Enemy.
Seeing that Earth is considered to be "overpopulated", they could help bolstering their own planets and industries with more manpower, but Tempo refused this as unnecessary. If the Loroi would need more "hands", they could just loosen access to males for a short while.
They've been discussing this for quite a while, but the constellation of the Human worlds being so far out, and also "backwater worlds" for their technology, just gave no obvious advantage. The few things for them was the speed of their development. The Umiak did not seem to develop technologies of themselves, they just adopted conquered technologies. The Loroi were close to stagnation, as since unification the guilds have basically controlled research to a degree that only minor improvements were made, but no new developments. But Humanity went from steam powered to star faring with only their own imagination within only 400 of their years.
Well, some Loroi leaders are older than that...
Yet only the war has changed the Loroi culture considerably within that time.
Humans could therefore bring a fresh view on things.

And there was Tempo's idea. Of covert deep missions of mixed crews.
But without contact, there wasn't much they could actually do right now.

With the short telepathic connection between Tempo, Alexander, and herself, she also learned that the Mizol was having further plans. Something beyond using Human Lotai for their own purposes. She grinned You must be as frustrated as I am.. Morale boosting.... Hah!

To pass the time, Alexander tried to introduce the Loroi to a game called "chess", which he quickly sketched with some paper and a pen.
The rules were simple, it didn't take long for her to understand them. But as Alex said, understanding the rules is not understanding the game.

And Beryl did not understand the game he was playing. He was so obviously attracted to her and Tempo. But he did not move. He made appearances of moving, but then stopped moving. And he strictly kept it off-Sanzai. Why?
And apparently Beryl also did not understand the rules of this game.

At least the damn Mizol was at least as confused as she was. Beryl thought with a grin.
That poker game he made was fun, at least when we played without Sanzai as Alexander suggested.
Whatever move the Mizol was playing, Alexander apparently had a countermeasure ready.
While the Mizol was much better than me (did she really not pick at my mind when we played?), but Alexander trumped us both easily.
It was as if Alexander was able to read the cards from the backside.
Even the new card set they had the station manufacture. There were no markings a Loroi eye could discern, yet once I or Tempo held our cards in our hands, Alexander knew if we would win (and which one would win) or if he would win. And the grin in his face when he predicted that, while looking at Tempo.
And that frustrated the Mizol! Hah!
Beryl concluded with a grin.
During that game, Alexander had tried to reach out to Beryl telepathically a few times, especially towards the end of the game, and indicated some minor body or facial movement Tempo did in certain situations.
That was unexpected for her, but his thoughts were there. Definitely. He wanted her to see something, and she was barely able to receive him.
Well, the body language he is teaching me to read is indeed helpful. Never knew the Mizol disclosed so much of her thoughts in her body language.

Alexander kept contacting her, and the connection got better and better.

In the few moments she and Alexander were able to talk without Tempo's interference (which apparently only happened after they've somehow been arranged to not sit close together), she tried to give him all kind of cues that she's interested, and as decorum demanded, she waited for his signal to commence. But besides quite a few signals that he's interested as well, he made no signal of allowing her to pick him up. But he kept smiling at her.
And whenever she managed to close the distance, Tempo appeared again, stepping up to separate them, and subtly indicating her rank priority over Beryl.
Weirdly though, Alexander also made no signs to Tempo either, beyond showing a lot of interest.
And rank was on Tempo's side. Rank prohibited Beryl from starting without approval from the male and/or her superior. So frustrating.


Then she thought back to the second training session between Tempo and Alexander. This time at least his face seldom turned red. But Tempo's face did turn blue several times (coinciding with the few times Alexander turned red, she observed).
She needed to find out if Human faces turn red from exhaustion. Wait, she knew that. Physical exhaustion can Alexanders face turn red, as he proved when he did some "exercises" (if jumping and running up and down an asile can be called "exercise"). Clearly the human physique was not as efficient in staying in peak condition as the Loroi physique was. He asked them for access to physical training apparatuses. Tempo didn't promise him much in that regard, just the usual "We'll see what we can do". (And both Loroi agreed some kind of shower and clothing cleaning would soon be necessary for Alexander. - She wondered if he could smell her as clearly as she smelt him...)
But mental exertion? Can that make his face turn red too?
She needed to find out.
But how?
She oh so wanted access to his telepathy/Sanzai as well, but the Mizol was very clear on that. After their training, Alex retreated to the make-shift bed, where he was still sleeping.

The Mizol commented only, that Alexander is learning fast. "He learns control of his mind's capabilities much faster than anticipated." And there was a slight chagrin present.
Even pointing out, that her orders were for Beryl to record everything around the human, Tempo just looked at Beryl and sent "not this" with a very strict undertone of keeping other mental undertones away.
But her body languaged betrayed her. That Mizol was "dense". The training did not go completely according to her will.

Ah well. Damn. I cannot sleep anyway. Beryl stood up from her uncomfortable chair, and went to the cockpit door. She stood there undecided, but finally did not knock on the door or open it. She went to the sanitary room, and refreshed herself. With a lot of cold water to her face.

When she felt slightly refreshed, Tempo and a small service crew from the station was present with some exercise equipment, and a mobile decontamination shower unit. They apologized, but since the station had been evacuated, no crew was available for a more elegant solution.
Then the cockpit door opened, and Alexander stepped out. The whole service crew froze and stared when they became aware of Alexander, apparently not having been forewarned why some passengers were not allowed to debark the shuttle. Even Beryl had to admit that the sight was something to behold.
Alex stood there in his orange jumpsuit. But the jumpsuit was open at the front, down to his firm, musculous stomach, and his usual clothing beneath the jumpsuit was in his hands.
She looked again at Tempo and the crew, and save for Tempo, their faces have turned quite a darker shade of blue. The envy of having a male aboard their shuttle was very... thick.
Alex looked first at Tempo, then at Beryl, and with a smile he asked "Sorry to interrupt, Beryl. I'm feeling somewhat uncomfortable in my clothing, which I find has been worn for far too long and has become somewhat smelly. Can you provide me with some alternative while I try to wash this?"


I can imagine the whole service crew volunteering for washing this piece of clothing, Alexander....
But I need to give this story in more competent hands.

Also, I feel Beryl is about ready to jump whenever she gets an official signal she recognizes as such...
Re-reading my own part (with the amendments made to try to implement novius' chapter), it reminded me of Schlock mercenary strip:
Cindercone: [...] our most recent string of victories arose from people disobeying your orders.
Captain Tagon: I think that means I'm failing as a captain.
Cindercone: But this is also how people succeed as parents.

So, go for it, Beryl. There's only the very vague order "for me to know and for you to find out" standing. The rest is just your culture inhibition....
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Still too good to pass up. Especially the consideration that after who-knows-for-how-many hours in his overall he (and the overall) might get a bit ripe.

That thought did pass my mind, too.

The scenes need not to fully exclude each other. Alex teaching them poker (and then trouncing them in a game where bluffing and spotting bluffs is important) and chess is totally a thing he would do - and looks like we thought along the same lines with the 'bugs are yuck' trope :)

And, Beryl waiting for him to give her sort of a go ahead signal, that fits well with what we have seen on pg. 134, too. She wouldn't go ahead with something she isn't sure whether he would allow her to do or not - Tempo, well, with her it's a different matter :)

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

Our similarity was the main reason why I think I can adapt my chapter.
Furthermore, mine is mainly from Beryls thoughts this time. Analyzing what happened during the mornign until Alex second training session.
So I can jump back and forward a bit to make it fit. My main issue right now is that I should be working, and I still see the dent of timing when Alex reaches telepathically out for her.

Whoever continues can make it work implemetning both.
Just gloss over the differences by not pointing them out.

BTW. The story hook I have in mind is not here yet. I'm trying to remember that, but I simply like the current pace, and the suspension the three find themselves in. Beryl being stuck in the cultural bias of either having a "go" from the male, or from her superiors, and Alex in his cultural bias of being in the Loroi territory and needing them to indicate clearly of how to proceed. All protective of the needs of the weaker gender. And being a polite guest/host.... And either side not recognising the fishing hookds due to cultural differences and fearing making a wrong step when they take the apparent bait.
Plus, I think Alex enjoys being "hard to get" and seeing how this acts on Beryl and Tempo....


Besides being young and being sensitive about being young, the GURPS sheet of Beryl (link) does not tell me much about her. Has she been allowed to become a mother to give birth to her future replacement in the fleet?
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

User avatar
Werra
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

Oh god, are we in a race for the next chapter?
Krulle wrote:Whoever continues can make it work implemetning both.
Trying to. Both of the last chapters are too good to pass up on.
Besides being young and being sensitive about that, the GURPS sheet of Beryl does not tell me much about her. Has she been allowed to become a mother to give birth to her future replacement in the fleet?
She is also easy to read, charitable and impulsive. Not a good hand to be dealt against a Mizol. And yes, she's a teen-mom. One who left her kid with relatives to make her teen years the most exciting of her life.

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Werra wrote:She is also easy to read, charitable and impulsive. Not a good hand to be dealt against a Mizol. And yes, she's a teen-mom. One who left her kid with relatives to make her teen years the most exciting of her life.
Actually, they all are awarded their first male rights when finishing warrior training - yes, fertile grounds for coming-of-age tropes.

And yes, this pun was totally intended since they are sort-of expected to provide the next generation of warriors during that, too. Wartime demands and all that.

I bet Alex would be mortified when he finds out that particular aspect of Loroi culture. And worse when he finds out how young she actually is. Knowing and completely understanding, again.

Add to that, Beryl is denoted to be rather sensitive about her youth. So I do expect a barn burner. Well, maybe she feels to make it an object lesson to him that, yes, she is a mature woman for all intents and purposes, a Mizol pulling rank be damned.

Krulle
Posts: 1414
Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

I wonder if their "first time" is as awkward as it is for Human teens.
But then, I presume since it is so regulated, that the male selected would have some experience, and can thus guide the young girls a bit.
And now I get a feeling of the whole thing being like a group of girls trying to act normal but failing miserably when visiting a "male-red-light" disctrict...

Meh, getting some dirty-old-man vibes here. (When looking in the mirror.)
And jail-bait vibes too, when trying to remember the ages of the crew.

It's good that Arioch leaves these kind of stories to us.... We can botch it much better than he can.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

User avatar
Werra
Posts: 840
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:27 pm

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

It took a mental prod from Tempo for Beryl to answer. For once the Mizol seemed content to let her do the talking.
„Yes, of course Captain Jardin. Just give this Soroin Paset your clothes and they will be washed for you.“

While Alex handed his bundle to a young Loroi with the biggest eyes Beryl had ever seen a Loroi make, she continued: „We will also supply you with some new clothes, Captain. How inconsiderate of me. I must be distracted today.“

Telepathically she told the Paset to fit some clothes from the stations stores to Alex size before sending her off. An interjection of Tempo send the Pazet to the stations Mizol for civilian clothes.
A quick and not entirely controlled sending regarding Alex sizes from Beryl was met with strong embarassment from the young Paset already outside the shuttle.

To her credit Tempo had quickly collected herself and with a gesture indicating the Loroi in the shuttle said: „Captain Jardin, we have just finished installing the items you requested. Training facilities for your health and something more comfortable than the sink you had to use.“

Alex eyes wandered over the equipment and Beryl was happy to pick up gratitude from him. Only as Alex saw the shower, his brow furrowed.

„Is something wrong with the shower, Enzin?“ asked Beryl via their private Sanzai.
„No, it's great. I just realised why you installed it on your own initiative. Sorry about that.“

While Beryl guiltily tried to reassure Alex, Tempo spoke to the other Loroi: „The Captain thanks you for your help, but I am sure he will appreciate some privacy now“ In Sanzai Tempo added: „At least you have a more pleasant topic now to gossip about than the Umiak besieging us.“

In reaction to a wave of questions Tempo sanzaied: „Listel Tozet Beryl is on duty and will gladly answer your questions regarding Captain Jardins health and safety in depth later.“

Looking away from the shower Alex saw most of the Loroi leave. As he had expected, Beryl and Tempo stayed behind. The daggers Beryl stared at Tempo looked extra sharp.

„Is there a problem?“ Alex asked.

Beryl answered with a strained look on her face: „No cause for worry, Enzin. You are perfectly safe. There are just some Listel duties I will have to deal with. But that does not need to concern you.“

Tempo swooped in from the side with a clear look of satisfaction on her face. „These duties won't come up for now. Please feel free to make use of the new facilities. When you're rested we can continue your Sanzai training.“

„I'm very happy to take a shower now.“ said Alex before expectantly looking at the two Loroi.

A moment passed, then a wordless look of puzzlement passed between Tempo and Beryl.

Then Beryl asked with hesitation: „Is there something stopping you, Enzin?“

„Uh...you two are watching me.“

Beryl was visibly confused. „I don't understand. You didn't seem uncomfortable in the slightest showing skin to even a group of Loroi strangers.“

„That was different. I only have a bare chest.“

„There is a difference for humaniti? Skin is skin for Loroi.“

And then with his face beginning to turn deep red, Alex realised that all the Loroi he had seen had always worn full body suits that even covered their necks and showed very little skin.

„You mean I just...“ he trailed off and Tempo finished his sentence. „showed yourself to a group of Loroi women in a way reserved only for intimate encounters.“

The looks on their faces reappeared before Alex eyes. Had he only known what he was doing. Now the whole station would be talking.

„Well, I would like some privacy now, while I shower please.“ Alex managed to say at last.

Tempo and Beryl gave each other another look. Thankfully they seemed to agree to a temporary ceasefire.

Tempo answered: „We have duties on the station elsewhere. Perhabs after several days you would like to be alone for a while anyway. We will return later, Captain“

Before Beryl left she gave him a reassuring smile and snuck him a Sanzai: „We Loroi are relaxed about these things.“

Finally alone in the shuttle Alex took a moment to breathe freely before he turned to the shower. It was a lightweight construction with semi transparent doors. A watertank on the back and some machinery were visible. He stepped out of his remaining clothes and into the shower. The taps had unfamiliar symbols on them, so it took a bit of experimenting until he got a pleasurable temperature.

It felt good being able to finally take a shower. His cell had serviceable but spartan facilities and the shuttle on which he was kept for days now had only a small sink to wash himself. The water washed away the grime from his body and massaged his chest very comfortably.

Alex closed his eyes and considered his situation. The Loroi were a friendly bunch, if strange in lots of regards. They seemed very forthcoming to him and he knew that his decision to stick with the Loroi all the way back with Captain Hamilton was the correct one.

If only there was some way for humanity to be actually useful, he mused. Perhabs they could send personel like engineers, technicians, medical people to help? Specialists that needed time to train. At that he had to think of Loroi and humans working together.

His mind wandered to Beryl and the kind of looks she gave him in the past few days. A shame there was a war going on. The air in the shower became humid and so his thoughts wandered to Tempo also. Alex didn't like how complicated his situation had turned out to be, but for now, he could relax contemplating how to avoid diplomatic incidents with Tempo and Beryl.

He heard the door and then a Loroi said: „Oh, hello Enzin. Don't mind me, I just need to check the diagnostics of the shuttle.“

Alex turned around in surprise and shock. There Talon stood on her way to the cockpit. They locked eyes and in a second flowing like tar, her eyes wandered downwards.

Eyebrows went up, then her eyes followed, a mischievous smile on her face.

„Do you want to meet with hands again?“

Post Reply