Writing Prompts

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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

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dragoongfa wrote: You are overestimating the security clearing aspect of a military attache, the military attaches of all NATO nations in the US don't have any short of security clearance for classified US military intelligence, they are liable to learn ONLY what the US wants them to know. In addition in depth background checks are done by the nation that sends the diplomat, not by the nation that hosts them; the only solution for the host nation if they don't like a military attache is tell them 'We have nothing to share with you at the moment' until they get the picture and send someone better suited for the task.
I don't believe that NATO law applies to space.
dragoongfa wrote: Also the Loroi Union is an interstellar state with several fully fledged members races while also being formally allied with at least two independent stellar states, they know how to play the diplomatic game or they wouldn't be where they are now.
Come on, this would at best be a minor incident. One alien mistreated in a war with billions dead?

Look, we're circling the drain of this discussion. We can agree to disagree. I am very thankful for your feedback and look forward to receive more of it in the future.
Again, feel free to disregard any of my ramblings and pick up from wherever you feel like. This was meant more as a writing exercise than anything else.

@entity2636
The redemption arc I have in mind which doesn't need to come to pass isn't quite as krass. Basically I want Jardin (and Tempo) at a low point for the character. Broken down, thrown back and in an extremely difficult situation yet with a need to overcome this state. For Jardin that motivation would come from his role for humanity. Like a classical heroes journey.
The conflict resolution would then be for Alex and Tempo to realise that the conflict both their respective duties forced them into is done now and that the only way is forward out of their misery. From that they could rebuild a strong friendship (the loroi kind with sanzai/non sexual) that helps both of them to overcome challenges, like convincing Stillstorm to hear Jardins crazy ideas/convincing the crew that Tempo shouldn't be hated for what she did. Winning the grudging respect of the xenophobic Loroi such as Stillstorm.
The end result would be the first real Loroi/human friendship that incorporates the full range of Sanzai into it. Contributing greatly to positive diplomatic relations between the species. Endgame would then be the task of convincing the Emperor and her staff/Admiralty to not glass the human worlds, as humans with a natural Lotai could threaten the Union in the longterm. That would be my very rough outline for a full blown story from this point onwards.
I don't think this would be unwritable from the position I put myself into.

Ugh, I just realised I penned a story where the enemy is racism and the true power hidden all along was friendship. Shoot me.

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Siber
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Siber »

Not sure it's really needed to spoiler-tag replies to the thing you're spoiling? idk, I'll keep it up in case there's an angle I'm missing but it seems silly to me
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I tend to agree with dragoongfa's angle here. They forcefully interrogated him as a suspected umiak trick, then recognized him as a diplomat and apologize for the above, then forcefully interrogate him?

At that point if I were Alex I'd be seriously questioning my decision that the Umiak were the greater of the available evils.
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Warringrose
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Warringrose »

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Doesn't every single race in the Union and beyond kinda have to consider this an act of Saturday morning cartoon villain level stupid-evil? I mean can there be anything even close to a relationship if Loroi ambassadors do this kind of casual mind rape to those they are courting as friends? And given diplomatic status too? And even the Loroi as well! Are Loroi (mothers all) from all over the Union going to be happy when they hear Tempo's doing this to a cute little alien boy for the terrible crime of trying to help their people in their hour of darkest need? I know my mother would have Tempo's skin if Tempo did that to me, even if my mother was an alien warrior amazon.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

No worries, I'll have something in mind for continuing the story.
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Though having Tempo mind-rape him again would definitely paint the Loroi very much into a corner. It would irrevocably damage the relation to the humans, would make them lose credibility to their own allies - with Ambassador Mozin and that Historian at the forefront, since Mozin will sooner or later ask what had happened to Captain Jardin and perhaps incite a mutiny by the Gora Relay crew and most probably Beryl, in case of the crew just because he earned their respect, adoration and loyalty by his actions. In essence, such a stunt could very well spell the start of the end of the Loroi Union, since it would decompose from within. While she might be unscrupulous enough to throw supposed allies under the bus, being in the spy trade and all, she'd be too keen of mind to not to see the ramifications of her actions.

But, I am intending to follow a route where his relation to Tempo could become a bit strained. After all, he had a secret dropped on him that compares to an archaeologist finding a twinjet engine plane in the times of Wilbur and Orville Wright - did she just not know or was she deliberately keeping that bombshell from him? And why? Of course such a question would put him at odds with Tempo, especially since Brightshield admonished him to guard his thoughts - and most certainly doesn't know about the peculiarities of his Lotai, besides the fact that it is there.

Tempo would have quite a bit of redeeming to do. Especially since there's now another Mizol who is quickly working herself into Alex's favor, and one who actually owes her life to him.

And... there is still the matter of Fireblade's uniqueness. Stay tuned!

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by CF2 »

Warringrose none of this is canon, it's all an exercise in storytelling by readers.
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

@ novius

Can you do me a favor and end your next entry without an immediate cliffhanger. I need to write something heart warming

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Re: Beacons

Post by novius »


This wasn't the sweet, bubbly young Listel Tozet anymore.

His cabin wasn't large enough for her to go into a flying leap at him, but hell, she did try. Here he was sitting on his bed, trying to calm down his thoughts and wondering what by all that is holy did just happen, and then he heard the door opening, Beryl filling the doorframe.

She stepped in, her eyes fixed squarely on his face. Seeing the emotional turmoil he was in. He picked up on the change in her mien, the doleful look in her eyes replaced with one of a primal need to care, to comfort him in a way that has been encoded into her genes since the dawn of her species and beyond.

To Alex, the image of Beryl, even fully armored, framed by the backlight shining in through the doorframe, there was never a more beautiful sight.

Her hand snaked towards the door controls, closing the door, and the lights on the panel turning from blue to orange. She must have locked the door.

Then, with a long stride, she leapt at him, any mindfulness about private space and not touching completely gone. Raising his hands to steady her and usher her onto the free space on his cot - the place Brightshield sat on, but no way I'm going to tell her that, he thought - he found himself embraced by this one wonderful Listel Tozet Eilis. His Beryl.

Her kiss on his lips was much different than the two kisses they already had shared, back on the shuttle, when all this started to go haywire. There, it was just touching of each other's lips, a deliberate overstepping of limits set by propriety to shake the other out of stupor.

This was... something else. Beryl fully leaned into the kiss, a soft moan escaping her throat.

And... she was there. In his mind. He actually felt her desire, the burning need deep within her, as she pulled down his overall's zipper and snaked her hands onto his bare skin.

Weeks ago, Alex might have smiled at the phrase 'a beautiful mind' - his relationship with Ellen was a more physical one, a 'friends with benefits' style. Sure he relished her dry wit, but....

... but this was something else. He felt guilty of his passing thought about Ellen, but then there was Beryl, quick to reassure him that it is normal to compare past and present... and no need to feel ashamed over this.

Alex, in turn, felt her regrets over the treatment he suffered at the hands of the Loroi, when he was first brought aboard the Tempest. This was an injustice, how they stripped him of his dignity and subjected him to this mind-rape. Her biggest regret was... she was actually there and did nothing.

Now it was Alex's turn to soothe her troubled mind. He sent the scene from his vantage point - she remembered when it happened, right after him waking up with a scream. She saw herself and heard the subtext of his confused thoughts - that they must be a hallucination, or he sidestepped into a strange version of human mythology - until he heard her speaking to him.

She felt touched that he remembered that moment that vividly. The very first moment one Loroi - she herself - actually tried to talk to him rather than rifling through his mind.

'Loroi do things differently, but for now... I am yours. And you are mine.'

Neither Beryl nor Alex could say whose thought it was initially, while he released the interlocking plates on Beryl's armor - 'You learn quickly', she sent amusedly - exposing flawless blue skin and supple curves to his sight.

---//---

Brightshield adamantly refused to discuss matters via sanzai, Tempo quickly noticed. Whatever it is, it must be something requiring a clearance that high to forbid even being mentioned by thought.

Trying to distract herself until Brightshield arrived she gave the latest standing orders a once over.

Yes, Alex was assigned one standard crew cabin near the recreational area. Far away from the bridge.

His movements on the ship would still be highly restricted. Engines and bridge, for example, would be definitely out, without an armed escort. Computer core as well. The computer in his cabin had only limited access to the ship's databases, unless a proper authentication code by a ranking officer had been entered.

Tempo exhaled in relief. Standard procedure for an alien envoy on board, and then some more limitations. She might have given Stillstorm too little credit - she wouldn't flaunt security procedures just in a hissy fit. As for monitoring his movements, well, at the moment it seemed easy enough - whereever he goes, it just takes one warrior to see him and she'd broadcast his location, want it or not.

Come to think of this, Brightshield did follow him in his cabin, and then left shortly thereafter, and Beryl wasted no time to get to his cabin as well...

...true enough, a quick scan with her mind confirmed her suspicion, Beryl was nowhere to be found.

Well, nowhere to be found if one doesn't know Alex's peculiar Lotai. She concluded. Looks like you got your wish. And maybe he'll be more inclined to let me cash in on mine, too...

Tempo was close to indulge herself into a private fantasy of hers when she sensed Brightshield on the other side of the door, just before she entered.

'Come in. I think you wished to brief me on a specific matter?', Tempo sent, deliberately being vague.

"Best we continue this in spoken words", Brightshield answered, making Tempo blink. Switching modes of communication in such a manner was considered extremely rude. Especially from sanzai to vocal, given how ill-reputed spoken words are. Whatever it was, Brightshield must consider this matter extremely sensitive for her to not to trust any sending. That thought was ... unsettling.

"May I?", Brightshield asked, and on a nod, she inserted her tablet device into the console's receptacle and typed in a series of commands. "You may wish to see for yourself."

Tempo quickly scanned over the texts. An incident report, an incursion on Deinar, reported by a Soroin diral, of all things. Tempo got a sinking feeling on reading the descriptions. Then she went to the pictures taken.

The pictures told her little. Artifacts of unknown make. The picture of a location, most possibly Deinar, judging from the plantlife. But building a shelter out of trees...?

The last picture made her pause, same as it made Alex pause. There was a human. An unfamiliar human. More scruffy looking, with dark hair, but unmistakably a human. On a picture about four hundred tozons old. A human on Deinar of all things. Light-tozons away from Naam, even further away from the human's supposed homeworld.

"Captain Jardin told me that during that time period his people were barely industrializing, and they became spacefaring about two hundred tozons ago. Interstellar flight... even only in the recent decades." Brightshield supplied.

"You told him?! Why do I get to know it just now?" Tempo shot, her ire rising.

"I had to. First, even I didn't know beforehand. The medical scans we did on him on the Relay unlocked these files - before that, they were dormant. I suspect they weren't even there on the Tempest, so you never got alerted when you pulled him aboard. As for telling him... it was the honorable thing to do, and we needed to make sure that he - and that person on the picture - are the genuine articles."

"Mizol Losat Lomileilar, you came dangerously to overstepping your clearance, perhaps you even did so, but given the ... extenuating circumstances ... I'll let this one stand with just a reprimand, one I cannot even put on records because of the matter involved. You did it in the intention of building trust, which is sorely needed here, but you should have brought this matter to me first. In the future I expect to be made aware of such discoveries first thing. Am I clear?", Tempo ground out.

"Clear, Mizol Parat Sedel.", Brightshield acknowledged.

"Good. Then I consider this matter settled. I presume you told Captain Jardin to remain silent about this matter, too? Good", Tempo added on seeing Brightshield's stiff nod.

"Because the bigger question might not be who this human was... but how he managed to get from Earth to Deinar more than three hundred tozons before they got interstellar spaceflight and jump engines.

And if we could achieve that as well." Tempo added, after a dramatic pause.

---//---

Stillstorm scoffed. Not even one hundred solons since the end of her shift and she left her post. Less than five hundred and she went dark, again. That lack of restraint is unbecoming to a warrior, but she is just a Listel. An analyst, just barely fit for frontline duty.

She glanced at the chronometer, blinking. Five hundred bial?! Just for how much longer can it go?

She shook her head, quietly thankful of that Listel Tozet's peculiar abscence from the mindscape. Else she herself might have even been subjected to Tozet Eilis's screams in sanzai....
There you go. At last, our hero got his girl. Or, our heroine got her male. :)

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by orion1836 »

:mrgreen:

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Great. Dibs on the next part

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by CF2 »

Continuation of New Frontiers
The sounds of a busy hunting camp setting up filtered through the air, as the new arrivals to Nathan's little clearing wordlessly prepare lean-to shelters against the sides of his cabin. All without so much as a single hushed voice to coordinate.

Standing around half-thinking, and half-watching them work, Nathan catches quite a few of the blue girls stealing glances in his direction as they work to set up temporary shelters, presumably curious about him. Though he'd darn near shot one of their group, they didn't seem all that concerned, but then again they had probably had the chance to see that he hadn't the powder and musket balls to be a threat to all of them.

Thinking about it that way, even though they all seem to be girls about his age, they were more than dangerous enough for his liking. He gripped the stock of the axe reassuringly. They hadn't tortured and scalped him the moment he woke up, and they trusted him enough to give him his axe, but they also wanted something from him so who knows what might happen after he finished their cabin.

Who knows what they might do if I don't start working on it either.

Grimacing at the thought, the glances begin to feel uncomfortable. Right, he thought. Better at least look busy.

Walking towards the treeline, Nathan starts to mark suitable trees with a notch at their base. The forest was all some kind of softwood with broad, piney needles -- but with dark gray-green, papery bark like an off-color birch. Strange looking, but useful in all the same ways birch is for building and roofing. He would strip the bark off in sheets from trees too big to lift or roll into place as walls, and put it to use as roofing to keep the rain out. These trees however, were small enough to drag or roll into place, so he wanted them with their bark still on to keep them from going to rot.

If he was lucky maybe the... blueskins? Hm. Maybe they'd spare some of their people to help with moving the felled trees.

That didn't feel like a proper name for them. They didn't give him the impression of being nomads, or primitive natives. Assuming they ever got to understanding each other beyond pointing and pantomiming, he should ask them what they call themselves as a people. Turning to look back at the clearing, through a few yards of trees he'd been marking, he didn't see any of them looking in his direction anymore.

Maybe I could slip away.

Keeping an eye on the clearing he started to walk slowly deeper into the woods. What happens when they decide I'm taking to long? Would they really let me get away?

They could cover a lot of ground with that many people if they wanted. Would getting away even matter? How many days until first snow? How long would I have to travel to be safe from accidental discovery? How many after that would I have to prepare a shelter and food stores? Ascending the side of a small hill as the clearing was obscured by dark tree trunks and low hanging branches, Nathan moved slowly, not so much out of caution as out of uncertainty for what he was doing.

I've only got my axe and the clothes on my back, but even so, they can't have just let me wander off to work without some way of keeping track of me. Can they?

The sound of crinkling needles underfoot brought his head around to the top of the hill. An odd standoff between four pointy-eared girls and another two seemed to be silently unfolding. One of the two watching him with the look of someone minding an animal that might be about to bolt. Her partner glancing between the four standing opposite them, with an irritated expression.

Whatever was going on here, Nathan was fairly sure the two were probably out here keeping an eye on him. As for the other four, the looks they gave him had a certain edge that told him not all the blue visitors have forgiven him for his transgression.

"Just, picking out the trees you'll need for the cabin I'm making you."

Giving the axe a little heft, he picks out a nearby tree and marks it in demonstration. Though the only the one of them bothers to pay him any mind, as the others make gestures at each other as though silently speaking in a heated manner. The violet haired watcher gestures at him and then back toward the clearing.

"Alright, but I'll have to be back this way later to chop this down."

= = = =

News filtered back into the camp to Argent, as she was the one overseeing work with the alien to establish long term shelter for the diral. Natan had apparently tested his boundaries as he set about his work, the sentries to the north of the clearing having kept an eye on him and kept some of Argent's more zealous "followers" at bay.

They say they just wanted to make him understand his place as captive labor. Kite explained to them very thoroughly that you had already communicated as much. It was pretty clear they were mad about your injury though, so they wouldn't have been nice about it whatever they did to make him understand.

Thanks for stopping that foolishness Quickriver, Argent sent back. Is Natan still working?

He was heading back with a large bundle of tree bark.

Sure enough, Argent spotted the pink faced male carrying a bundle of tree bark almost as large as himself, on his back. He had used a sapling to bind it so it could be slung over his shoulder, from the look of it. Though why he had the bark at all she wasn't exactly clear on.

Calling over a couple free hands, they tried to take the load from him but he gestured for them to depart persistently. Walking over she watched to see what he was doing with them and if he would need any help, dismissing the other two for the time being. Natan set his bundle down and walked over to his woodpile, gathering an armful of small cut logs, avoiding the split wood in favor of the whole cross-sections of branches.

Catching her eye, he laid the logs out on the ground alongside each other, with as few gaps between them as possible. Then he gestured with both arms at the pile of stripped tree bark and the parallel logs, as though... measuring? Ah, he's comparing their area.

As guessed, Natan began laying the bark out atop the logs until he had a neat little stack a dozen or so strips deep. Then he indicated Argent and said something, looking for a sign of comprehension.

I don't even know what you're doing, let alone what you just said.

A confused look is the best she can offer him. Pointing to her, he says, "Tin," and then gestures with both hands to the pile of bark with his palms down, while repeating what he had said more slowly.

Oh, you need me to apply pressure?

Walking over Argent pushes down on the papery bark, glancing up to verify the alien is satisfied. He nods his head and then jogs off toward his cabin.

Can someone inform me of the alien's current actions?

It's- he is picking up a stone.

Walking back into view, Natan is carrying a large flat piece of gray shale rock. Slowly bringing it over and lowering it down toward the pile of bark. He says a few words, and Argent comprehends their meaning: move your hands. Pulling her hands away to keep them from being pinned down along with everything else. As he heads off toward his cabin again, Argent calls over some free hands and tasks them with lifting any stones he seems about to.

The helpers return laden with flat pieces of rock and in short order the whole pile is covered and stacked with rock. At last Natan seems satisfied with the task. Deciding to try and overcome the language barrier herself this time Tin speaks at him.

"Alright, we've got bark being squashed by rock. What is this for though?"

Eventually reading the confusion on her face, Natan reaches out and takes her hand. She almost pulls it away but he catches her unaware, and then... nothing. Like he isn't even there, or he's as receptive as a stone.

Puzzling over the non-experience of contact with the alien boy, Natan meanwhile pulls her along gently toward his cabin, and then speaks while indicating the roof. There under a covering of grassy soil, she spots a curling fringe of tree bark.

"I see, this must be your waterproofing. No wonder it's so dry inside your shelter. The turf must just be for camouflage or weight. Maybe both."

Natan looks at her intently, trying to puzzle out her words.

"Well, if that's what you're using for our structure, I'll have a few people follow you into the forest next time to see how you harvest it. We'll certainly need more than what you just brought back."

Glad to see you decided against running off, Argent thinks with a smile.

= = = =

A full day of marking trees to be cut down, and stripping bark had built up an appetite. Nathan had some dried meat and water around noon -- the strange people had stopped him from getting a drink at a nearby stream, instead pushing a waterskin into his hands. Yet that had only served to tide him over until now.

Their end of the bargain was to provide food for him if he had understood them correctly. Judging by the cook fires going, they had certainly managed to find enough. Though more than the meat roasting on spits, and the various unpalatable fruits they had picked, Nathan was hungry for company. Two years eating alone with only the sounds of a foreign wilderness had left him chatting with himself just to hear the sound of anybody speaking. Whatever the future held with these strangers, he could at least have someone to talk to over supper even if they didn't understand each other.

At least, that's what he had thought.

He'd entered his cabin to hang up his axe, and turned around to find one of the blue girls had followed him in with a portion of fruits and cooked meat. Handing them off to him she then made a gesture toward him and said a few words. Repeating them again as she left. He tried to follow her out and was met with her shouting and pushing him back.

The message was clear: he wasn't welcome.

Two years alone, with no one to talk to, and now here he was being shut out by the first people he'd met in this strange land. Alone surrounded by people.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he stared in silence at the food in his hands, meat cooling on the bit of exposed bone he held. Outside the same silence as always hung in the air, yet this time it felt oppressive, because try as he might Nathan couldn't bear to start rambling to himself. It was just too piteously lonesome.
Last edited by CF2 on Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Werra
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Werra »

While I enjoy your writing, I don't get were this Nathan supplot is going with Jardin. It seems very out of place.

Could somebody enlighten me?

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Siber »

I was a happier reader myself with them standing apart, connecting them seems to be borrowing trouble so to speak unless you've actually got a grand plot idea that the connection helps build up.
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Siber wrote:I was a happier reader myself with them standing apart, connecting them seems to be borrowing trouble so to speak unless you've actually got a grand plot idea that the connection helps build up.
Actually, I have :) As you might have gathered, Nathanial's presence did fade into obscurity for the Loroi at large, save for a small cabal of at least Mizol... but Mizol are always known for their secrecy, right?

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

I am considering Nathan's story to be a side show element for Alex's story. Something that happened 'in universe' but not something that will affect the story proper. A somewhat interesting filler in other words. If novius has an idea that will make sense all the better. Provided that I don't throw a spanner in the works :P

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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »


It was the first time Alex had seen a pleasant dream since Bellarmine left Terran space, he remembered how everyone complained of the nightmares after that point but his had progressively gotten worse after Bellarmine got destroyed; they all came to him in his sleep but Elen's appearances were the worst. She always accused him of not being able to save her and leaving her to die; he knew he did that, she was right next to him when...

He jumped up and looked around his tiny cabin, Beryl wasn't there anymore; what they did wasn't part of the pleasant dream that now slowly faded from his mind but she certainly helped with it.

So much for professionalism Alexander Jardin, good job in proving Stillstorm right. He chastised himself before standing up to stretch himself in the little room he had for himself. He didn't regret what happened, he would never allow himself to regret any single moment of the time he shared with Beryl but he knew that he crossed the point of no return at that point. He pushed that thought aside as he did some basic exercises in order for his body to fully wake up before realizing that he had nothing to occupy himself for the time being.

He sat down at the bed and pulled down the console, to fiddle with. He noticed for the first time that it was the beginning of the ship's morning cycle.

Does Beryl have the morning shift? He wondered as he tried to see if he could locate her but to his non surprise the console failed to deliver her location due to insufficient security clearance.

Figures

He thought if he should try to get some basic information about the Union itself, it's map, how many worlds it's comprised of, the political climate and all the basic information that a diplomat is supposed to have access to before remembering something important.

The sooner I get this over with the better... He thought as he tried to see if he could find Fireblade via the console but he still got the same result as with Beryl. He contemplated if he should just go out and try to find her the hard way but elected against that, instead he tried to see if he could somehow sense her.

Kung Fu meditative mode don't fail me now. There was nothing at first but he expected that so he kept at it and after a few long moments he detected her, it was faint and flickering at first but it was certainly Fireblade and... she was sleeping if he was to be a judge.

Better than nothing... He stood and dressed himself before venturing out his cabin. The corridors and passages were still filled with crew going about their business, he felt everyone's eyes on him as he tried to orient himself with the limited map his tablet allowed him to see.

We should be at the same deck but how do I get there... He would have certainly gotten lost if it wasn't for the map and he couldn't just ask where to find Fireblade's cabin if he wanted Tempo to be caught unawares of what he planned to do. He hoped that his constant and confused back and forth while pausing to sense Fireblade's location would confuse any would be observer as much as it confused him but in the end he stood in front of Fireblade's cabin if he was to judge by what he sensed inside and steeled himself before pressing the buzzer.

He heard a couple of yelps from the two Loroi who were present in the corridor. Both of them instantly turned to look at him, then at Fireblade's door and back at him before turning to leave the vicinity with obvious haste.

I never thought it would be easy... He thought and waited for a couple of minutes before pressing the buzzer again.

The door slid open and an obviously annoyed Fireblade stared at him for a few long moments of silence, she wore only her skin tight black body suit and it took everything he had not to stare at her like a fool.

"Good morning Fireblade..." He begun. "I need to ask you for a favor."

She just stared back at him, annoyance clearly visible in both her face and the way she carried herself before she stepped aside to let him inside. Her cabin was certainly bigger than his, big enough to actually live comfortably in but it wasn't as tidy or as decorated as Stillstorm's. It was just her unmade bed, a couple of lockers, a small desk with two accompanying chairs and a few personal possessions laying around.

"I want to..." He begun to say but she just shook her head and offered him her left hand. "Are you sure?" Alex asked drawing just a nod out of her. He hesitated for a bit but offered his left hand in return, he felt the current like sensation that he associated with Fireblade run through his body. He focused like Tempo had taught him and mentally formed his first sending to the fiery mess he now fully sensed in front of him.

"I need you to train me to block mental attacks."
He sensed the fiery annoyance turn into confusion before settling on mild amusement.

"Isn't your new Mizol up to the task?"
Fireblade replied while reminding him that Brightshield escorted him to his new cabin.

"I don't trust her."


"And you trust me? Are you an idiot or do human males actually enjoy abuse by their females?"
She asked while reminding him the interrogation she conducted under the orders of Stillstorm, the telepathic shove in the elevator and the other smaller incidents in the shuttle and on Gora Relay.

"I trust you more than her and... yes, I guess..." He sensed her becoming dumbfounded a mere second before she burst into uncontrolled laughter. It was the first time he saw her laugh as far as he remembered, she always seemed to be wound up and focused on maintaining a weird visage of angry professionalism but he couldn't help but be taken in by the almost pleasant warmth she let out towards him.

"Human males are weird. I was always denied access by the caretakers of the males I was scheduled to meet because they were terrified of letting me alone with them but now you come out and say this!" Fireblade managed to send as she controlled her laughter.

"Denied access? I thought the males themselves have the right to say no." He asked and he sensed Fireblades self centered apprehension.

"Yes and no, you got to understand that Loroi males are universally taken care of by their caretakers, they are wards of the state and the caretakers are the ones who schedule any and all encounters between their charges and females who have earned the right to meet with a male. If a caretaker considers someone to be a danger to their charge then they deny even the possibility of getting near him. In my case... their fears are warranted." Fireblade explained, the eerie sensation of the uncomfortable warmth making a comeback as she did so.

"Why? I don't think that you would harm someone."

"Are you, a male that I actually harmed to the point of knocking you unconscious, telling me that I wouldn't harm a male?" Fireblade asked, the flames of her being dancing wearily around his mind.

"You did what you did because you were ordered to and because it made sense at the time. I now realize why someone would think the worse about me considering the circumstances of my rescue." He replied and sensed a sentiment of confusion in her mind.

"So you believe that I hold no blame for the wrongs I committed against you because I was following orders that made sense at the time?" She asked him, her mind betraying the readiness to ridicule his naivety.

"Yes, I do believe so but this doesn't mean that I don't begrudge you for them." The flames of ridicule pulled back in confusion at that.

"What do you mean?"

"I have thought of myself being in your position and doing what you did to me to a Loroi. I felt like trash to the very idea of me committing such a crime even if I was under orders and thought that I had adequate grounds to do what would seem necessary. I cannot imagine myself not feeling guilty for committing such a transgression and not feeling the need to somehow redeem myself to the one I wronged." The flames engulfing her mind wavered and retracted themselves to the point of being barely noticeable as Fireblade absorbed that.

"So you begrudge me because I haven't shown remorse about everything that I did to you?" Fireblade asked.

"Yes." The flames flickered briefly at that but they fully reformed.

"I have committed many transgressions in my life, I have relished in torturing and killing Shell collaborators, I have abandoned warriors who trusted me to their deaths and I see all of them in my sleep. They all accuse me and blame me for everything I did to them and yet you don't blame me for what I did to you, you merely begrudge me for not being remorseful?" Fireblade's mind trembled at that, as if its very foundation suddenly found itself in murky water.

"I haven't been fighting in such a horrible war my whole life but they come to me too, the comrades from my ship. My closest friend and lover accuses me of abandoning her in my sleep, there hasn't passed a day where I don't try to think of way I could somehow save them. I know that what's done is done and cannot be undone but I won't rest until I avenge them and make sure that their deaths made a difference." Fireblade just nodded at that as a dawn of understanding filled her whole being.

"I understand now... Why Beryl has become so enamored with you." His mind filled with involuntary and intense flashbacks of Beryl's visit to his cabin at that.

"I finally won the bet!" Fireblade sent in triumph, the flames playfully engulfing her once more as he let out a groan of embarrassment.

"Find someone else to mate with before mating with Tempo so I can double my winnings!" Fireblade continued.

"Can you please not turn my love life into a betting pool?" Alex implored her. "Also I don't plan to mate with anyone else for the time being."

"Really? I can give you a piece of the action."

"No!"

"Damn...At least I won the bet against Tempo" Fireblade just shrugged at that. "Although I have to tell you that I also won the bet of you not mating with Stillstorm, some naive Passets actually bet that you would agree in her encounter request."

"I did agree..."

"What? Really?" Fireblade asked in disbelief.

"It was a spur of the moment thing because she belittled Beryl and Tempo." Alex replied as he recalled his meeting with Stillstorm.

"You actually called her dishonest? Are you suicidal?" Fireblade chastised him. "Stillstorm is a hardcore traditionalist, she would have challenged you to a duel if she considered you to be a warrior worthy of such."

"I was angry about her dissing Beryl and Tempo, Beryl has done right by me so far and I couldn't just accept that." Alex explained himself.

"They are both warriors, they can stand up for themselves and won't like it when they will learn about why things between Stillstorm and you turned sour." Fireblade commented and suddenly her mind filled with flames of amusement. "What would you do if she actually went along with the encounter?"

"Don't know, hadn't really thought that far; I would probably go along with it depending on how she went about it." He replied with embarrassment.

"Really?

"She isn't unattractive."

"You are indeed a glutton for punishment; although I think that a mating encounter would do her good" Fireblade commented with a playful mind. "What about me?" She asked while playfully picturing the two of them mating.

"Yes." He replied reflexively and for a moment he felt honest and shocked surprise filling her mind.

"I... appreciate your thinking of me like that." She replied as she recollected her thoughts, her mind betraying a sense of self centered satisfaction and jubilation born from his instinctive acceptance of her as a potential lover before she forcefully pushed everything aside and took on a professional visage.

"Now, why do you want to be trained in mental defense? Your Lotai is still impregnable unless you instinctively allow someone in and that's only when they either touch you or are very close to you." Fireblade asked and Alex remembered Tempo implanting something in his head during his training. "I see... It was subtle but you picked it up. This could be a deliberate Mizol trick or something she did subconsciously after your training, the mind often refuses to do what it is ordered to after all."

"Can you teach me how to defend myself from such intrusions?" He asked her.

"Yes, we Unsheathed are called so because we are always prepared for combat, mental or otherwise but our techniques generally lack the finesse and precision of the Mizol. Our training methods however may not be the best for you."

"How so?"

"We Unsheathed are instructed to communicate via Sanzai in all occasions, even when someone mentally attacks us. Our defense isn't as much down to technique as to the sheer determination to overcome all who attempt to invade our mind." The memory of his interrogation by Fireblade and the two other Teidar filled his mind at that.

"Yes we are trained to overcome such interrogation attempts and... Did you actually say 'get out of my mind' because you always wanted to say that? Because you saw it in a fictional story?" She instantly became amused at that. "All three of us thought that you were actively defending yourself at that point and we telekinetically cut off you breathing in order for you to drop your Lotai while we tried to press in."

"Yeah, I felt the current in my head when you touched me and I thought that you were in already."

"I guess that makes sense if you have never sensed telepathy..." Fireblade thought as she gathered her wits. "Now I want you to understand that the training you have requested of me to give you is brutal, mentally taxing and painful. I will batter your mind and keep at it until you are able to offer adequate resistance. The only way to offer such resistance is by stubbornly clinging to a strong sentiment and thought no matter what the aggressor wants to pull out. Your mind will have to think of one thing and one thing only when you are defending and you have to be flexible and able to change the thought that is the core your defense at will."

"What should I think?"

"Whatever you don't mind the aggressor to know. It doesn't matter what it is as long as you cling to it with all your mental strength and are able to shift the thought to an other one at will."

"I understand."

"Good..." Alex's mind was suddenly pressed by the whole essence of her mind, he sense her reaching down his psyche for anything embarrassing and grabbing hold of something interesting."Where you truly fantasizing about mating with all your guards at the same time while you were imprisoned?" Fireblade teased him.

"You didn't say that we were going to start!" He protested.

"We haven't even started yet..." Once again she reached into his mind as if a locomotive was running down a small animal, once again reaching down and pulling something embarrassing out. "Tempo in a form fitting leather outfit with a whip? The whole premise somehow tied with discipline?" Fireblade teased him. "This is actually fun..."

Damn it... Alex thought as Fireblade reached into his mind again but this time he brought up the first thought he could think of and mentally shoved it to her.

"Actual memories of you mating with Beryl? Don't give me stuff I am actually looking for!" Fireblade chastised him and made to dive in again.

How about this then? Alex thought as he thought of something else to bring forth.

"Revvin' up your engine
Listen to her howlin' roar
Metal under tension
Beggin' you to touch and go
Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone
Headin' into twilight
Spreadin' out her wings tonight
She got you jumpin' off the deck
And shovin' into overdrive
Highway to the Danger Zone
I'll take you Right into the Danger Zone"


"An alien song? An interesting choice..." Fireblade commented with obvious amusement before dragging him towards the two chairs in front of her small desk. "It's best if we don't stand up from now on, the basics are always easy to master but the next steps aren't"
https://youtu.be/siwpn14IE7E

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orion1836
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by orion1836 »

@CF2

Awesome job! Only a couple things:

1. Tin is Argent, though I see now that I could have made it clearer. I asked for a translation in the discord channel because I realized that when I had Argent introduce herself, I didn't know what Nathan would hear. Argent is how she thinks of her own name, a fanciful form of "silver," and silver is "tin" in Trade. I switched between the two because when I wrote from Argent's perspective, I used the original name since that's how she thinks of it. When writing in Nathan's perspective, I used Tin because that's what he heard, and unlike Alex, he can't translate trade.

When picking her name, I didn't know it would translate like that, lol, or I would have picked something else.

2. Style-wise, I'd recommend past-tense. Present-tense is very hard to pull off because it usually feels unnatural for the reader. Also, I find it a lot easier to write in past-tense.
novius wrote: "Because the bigger question might not be who this human was... but how he managed to get from Earth to Deinar more than three hundred tozons before they got interstellar spaceflight and jump engines.

And if we could achieve that as well." Tempo added, after a dramatic pause.
Honestly, I never thought about what the mechanic would be because I never thought it would matter. Since it definitely will matter now, I gave it some thought and the following explanation came to me:

Let's say the Soia set up a camp in North America long before the time early man ever migrated to the continent (which would make sense if they wanted to work undisturbed). When they had artificially evolved/modified captured humans into the proto-Loroi, they used their "Sufficiently Advanced Technology" to teleport their creations directly to their new habitats on the three sister worlds. Nathaniel was unlucky enough to be present when the last remaining teleporter, already unfathomably old and roused from dormancy by the kinetic energy of a micrometeor impact (the "tree" Nathan heard fall), activated to send him on his journey.

As to how a Soia artifact was never discovered in what would become a relatively populated area of Ohio? How about if it just turns to dust after expending so much energy, given it had probably gone hundreds of thousands of years without maintenance?

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

orion1836 wrote:
novius wrote: "Because the bigger question might not be who this human was... but how he managed to get from Earth to Deinar more than three hundred tozons before they got interstellar spaceflight and jump engines.

And if we could achieve that as well." Tempo added, after a dramatic pause.
Honestly, I never thought about what the mechanic would be because I never thought it would matter. Since it definitely will matter now, I gave it some thought and the following explanation came to me:

Let's say the Soia set up a camp in North America long before the time early man ever migrated to the continent (which would make sense if they wanted to work undisturbed). When they had artificially evolved/modified captured humans into the proto-Loroi, they used their "Sufficiently Advanced Technology" to teleport their creations directly to their new habitats on the three sister worlds. Nathaniel was unlucky enough to be present when the last remaining teleporter, already unfathomably old and roused from dormancy by the kinetic energy of a micrometeor impact (the "tree" Nathan heard fall), activated to send him on his journey.

As to how a Soia artifact was never discovered in what would become a relatively populated area of Ohio? How about if it just turns to dust after expending so much energy, given it had probably gone hundreds of thousands of years without maintenance?
I had thought along the same lines of "Soia ex machina", especially since humans and Loroi do seem to be closely related - with the most likely explanation of Soia intervention. And of course - a Listel would have focused on the cultural impact of a human right in the center of the Loroi Union, but a Soroin, a Teidar or a Mizol might think more about the logistics behind that. After all, an unknown alien managed to get right into the heart of the Union - completely unnoticed by any perimeter surveillance.

Of course this could be both a nightmare and of extreme interest to anyone dealing with shady businesses. And, it is a sensible thing to assume that if something happened once, it could happen again, maybe even under controlled conditions.

As to Soia artifacts on Earth - maybe they had been discovered and quickly been whisked away by some three-letter governmental organization, giving rise to a new volley of conspiracy theories. And, missing some, those would make for these pieces found which are called out of place artifacts and still send people's minds reeling :) But that would just be an idle thought for Alex - currently, he has many other, more pressing issues on his plate.

Krulle
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 9:14 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

Wow, you guys have been productive! Very enjoyable (even though I've been skipping the Nathaniel's story all the time).

About the dark, non-continued episode: While this would very much fit the Loroi, Mizol, and Tempo very much, I believe Alexander's Lotai, which gets triggered due to a lack of trust, and fear. And fear would appear, and trust would be gone once Tempo starts, so his famed Lotai would appear at exact that moment again. Making her task impossible.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

entity2636
Posts: 339
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:53 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by entity2636 »

Just a thought about Soia artifacts on Earth - from what I gather and extrapolate from the very limited amount of information on them, the Soia were using ceramics a lot in their designs rather than metals or plastics. Ceramics have very low material cost and tend to preserve rather well over extended periods of time, although they do erode but not to the degree of metals or plastics. We are talking geological time here (>0.5MYa), and it was still common for loroi to go looking for Soia-era ceramic tools and melee weapons and go on using them. Other items might erode from the outside to such a degree that they could become indistinguishable from generic rocks.

With this in mind, I think the Soia also made their mechanical and electronic devices largely out of ceramics (the Psi amps the Teidars wear have a ceramic look to them in my eyes) so a teleporter platform like Novius proposes, or more likely a wormhole generator (a.k.a. "Stargate"(tm)), could realistically survive buried underground in a geologically stable area almost indefinitely. If the electronics inside are also made of stable materials and the computers have non-volatile memory (conductive ceramics, opto-ceramics, think Stargate franchise and Lantean/Goa'uld opto-ceramic electronics), it all could still work if it had power.

Why the "stargate" hasn't been found in Ohio could be explained away with it simply blowing up (it's antimatter power source loosing containment) after getting turned on all of a sudden after such a long time.

novius
Posts: 654
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 10:33 am

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Continuation of New Frontiers

Warning, dark themes ahead.

Being rejected.

It is a nasty feeling. Being disliked for whatever reason. Not good enough to keep around.

Two years of loneliness. Two years of not being able to talk to a living soul.

And now, whoever they are, they made clear they wouldn't want him around, too.

And that is more difficult to bear than simply being marooned in a completely strange land.

Oh yes, they do keep you around - as a slave, or a prisoner of war, he thought grimly, then stopped.

Where did that thought come from? He knew that he picked up on some things that bothered him, but he wasn't able to put his finger on it, well, for now.

Then it came to him.

No men. No boys. There is a group of three or four dozen girls, almost women, all alone in the wilds, and no man in sight. Second, these girls look all strange with their blue skin and pointed ears, but they looked too diverse to be kin.

So, if they aren't family or clan, what are they?

Are they some sort of tribe of women who capture men to do their menial labor and kill them once they get too old and feeble, like one of these fanciful stories he heard one travelling merchant boasting in town?

Absurd.

But yet... he was constantly under watch, but they keep their distance. They want him to build a cabin for their whole group. And they keep him contained in his own cabin.

Like a prisoner.

And as such it would be his duty to make an attempt at escape. That's what his father always told him. Might he shied away from that choice because on checking his makeshift calender - if a series of scratches could be called that - he noticed that, yes, it would get colder soon enough.

But if the choice is between freezing to death or working to death and getting killed like an old dog once he outlived his usefulness, he'd take freezing.

He stood up and looked to the doorframe.

Night had already fallen. Good. He noticed that the whole lot was gathered around a bonfire. Even better. First lesson: If you wish to see in the dark, look away from the fire.

Picking up his axe and shouldering his musket and makeshift bow, he slowly crept out of his cabin and towards the far side of the clearing, trying to keep the cabin and the lean-tos between him and the bonfire.

Their eerie silence creeped him out. Such a large gathering had to be loud, with people constantly chattering, joking, arguing, cajoling... but not these blueskins. They were quiet like ghosts.

Reaching the clearing unseen, he slowly crept into the forest, and as soon as he thought to be out of earshot, he broke in a run.

---//---

'He's gone!', came a clarion call via sanzai.

'WHAT?!', Argent shot back, her sanzai driving into the skull like a sharp knife.

'He's gone', Coldfire sent again, 'His axe and his strange weapon as well.'

'How could that be?! Wasn't he to be guarded at all times?!', Argent's wide-area sending rousing the other Loroi.

'Well.... How much trouble could a male make?', someone answered.

Ahhh, yes. Argent recognized the sanzai 'voice' as Firebrand's. She was one of those opposed to keeping him around and she seemed to have gathered some like minded Loroi around herself. Argent felt it best to nip any sign of insubordination in the bud.

'What. Do. You. Mean?' Argent sent, enunciating every word.

'Well, after all, he is a male, and he looked already old enough to start feeling the Flames. He'd either come crawling back or he'd die a horrible death by longing. Come to think of it, how he found it in himself to actually leave eludes me.'

Argent blinked. The Flames were an euphemism for that drawback in male biology that would require them to mate, or suffer and die. Did she really....?

'Did it ever come to you that this male is not a Loroi?'

That brought Firebrand up short, but Argent wasn't finished, by far not.

'If he is that similar to us, I'd be solons away from rounding up the whole diral and asking everyone what the tilted field happened that he would have to run away and face certain death. We'd be all regarded as utter failures if we cannot even keep one single male safe, even from himself!', Argent sent acidly, and given her impressive strength in Sanzai, maybe second only to Coldfire, her words probably reached the entirety of the diral.

Coldfire reeled back from the sharpness of Argent's words. She's on a roll. I've never seen her that hacked off.

'And, if you ever had hoped that you would get some even before the conclusion of our trials, here's the wake up call - even if it would have been an option, I think your chances are far in the negatives by now.'

Coldfire heard several sharp gasps as these words registered.

'Listen, and listen well. If you haven't already noticed, he built this cabin here, and one of these racks had the hide of a Poison Claw stretched on it. He lived here for stars know how long and did these things all alone, and we arrived on the scene, trespassed and took over his home and subjected him to forced labor. Of course he would take offense, any true warrior would have done the same! At the moment this male is more warrior than you are, and with your attitude, you'd ever be!'

That was an insult on so many levels Coldfire wouldn't even bother to count. Firebrand spluttered audibly and started to fume silently.

'Everyone, spread out! He can't be far. Remember, he has no sanzai! Do not expect to feel his presence to guide you towards him, because he has none! Now go and bring him back, alive and unharmed. Is that clear?'

Various words of assent answered her over sanzai as the assembled Loroi scattered.

'Coldfire, with me. Let's find out what happened.', Argent sent the moment she headed off to give the log cabin another once over.

She felt disappointed. She was sure Natan decided not to run off. After all, she promised him he would be taken care for. So why the sudden change in his mind?

Or did she never guess him correctly and he just waited for the right moment to escape?

Argent turned to her second in command, Coldfire. 'Did I do the right thing or did I go too far?', she sent tightly.

Coldfire shook her head. 'Firebrand has always been a pain in the butt. She could make a fine warrior, if she wouldn't be that opinionated. Worse, she already started to gather like-minded Loroi around herself, so you had to take swift action to defang her.'

'I mean with Natan.', Argent clarified.

'You did what you thought best. We see now that building that cabin would even be more complicated than we imagined, and a more arduous task. But I am not sure if that had been the ultimate reason for him to flee. Something else must have happened.'

Neither Coldfire nor Argent had an idea what it could have been.

---//---

Those girls were scary.

Indians would call out their war cries to instill fear into their foes, as well a telling each other where they are.

But these girls were silent. Completely silent. Even without speaking a word they seem to coordinate their search well enough. How the hell do they do that?, Nathanial thought.

He had to dig deeply into his bag of tricks to shake them off. Bend a few branches on the wrong path. Backtrack in the own footsteps and choose a different direction or climb a tree, then. Walk a bit through the stream.

It helped little. First there were so many of them, and second, they don't seem to be slouches when it comes to tracking as well.

They were getting closer. Nathanial had to pick up the pace.

Looking over the shoulder, he failed to see the hole in the ground. His right foot stepped into the emptiness, and he toppled over into the darkness, with a scream.

---//---

'Did you hear that? Over there!', Quickriver sent, pointing deeper into the dense forest before breaking into a run.

'WATCH OUT!', came a sharp warning from her impromptu search team mate, bringing Quickriver to a stop.

Just in time. Without the warning, she would have fallen right into the gap in the ground. Shadows and thick undergrowth camouflaged the opening, making it a trap waiting for whoever comes across.

A trap having most recently claimed a victim.

---//---

Nathanial woke up with a pounding head... again. And looked around.

Directly above him, the night sky filtered through a tangle of roots partially covering the hole he must have fallen into, about two or maybe three meters above his head. High enough to knock him out for a bit when falling into it, but not high enough to cause serious injury.

Time to assess my situation, he thought.

He seemed pretty much unharmed, save a few buises, and his musket seems in a good shape, too, save from a few additional scratches on the barrel. Relieved he took stock of his surroundings.

The walls aren't natural. he concluded. They seemed to be made of stone, and if not for the exposure to the elements, they must have been polished to a smooth shine... and they seemed to be made out of single rocks since he failed to see any cracks or seams of mortar.

Most notably, to a side he noticed an indent looking much like a doorframe... with a closed door made of the same stone. Pushing and cursing didn't help, if that was a door, Nathanial quickly concluded that it wouldn't budge.

The opening he fell through was too high above, and without any nooks and crevices in the walls he wouldn't be able to climb up to the hole.

For all intents and purposes, he was trapped.

But that had become inconsequential the moment the first blueskin face appeared, blocking out part of the night sky.

Looking back at his musket, he remembered his silent oath, to reserve the last bullet for himself. Perhaps the time has come.

---//---

'We found him!', Argent heard Quickriver's sending, 'Bring a rope, or better, climbing gear. But... there is a bit of a situation.'

Homing in on Quickriver's mind, Argent and Coldfire quickly reached the site as well as the other warrior initiates of her diral.

'Where is he?' Argent queried.

'Down there, but... be cautious. He seems distressed', Quickriver answered, pointing at the hole.

Argent wasn't sure what to expect, perhaps him being badly hurt. Or disoriented.

What she never expected was the Loroi keeping a respectful distance of the hole, and on peering down, a frightened but obviously lucid Natan.

Even less she expected him to point the dangerous end of his weapon right at his jaw. His arms weren't long enough to reach the full length down to the trigger, but he extended his reach using a branch.

"Sallan!", he said.

With a feeling of regret she realized that the first word he learned of Trade would be 'No!'. But figures, she thought chagrined, he must have heard that one often enough.

"I will get down to you", she countered, mimicking climbing down a rope.

Nathanial caught on quickly. "Sallan! Stay where you are!", he said. Even if none of the Loroi understood the alien words, save for the repeated 'No!' in Trade, their intent and him tightening his grip on his weapon conveyed the message clearly enough.

He was close to killing himself if any of the Loroi would try to approach him.

Argent sighed. How did it ever devolve to a hostage situation? With Natan holding himself as a hostage, as strange as a concept it seems? And, worse, how could she hope to resolve this if she cannot communicate with him?

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