Outsider humor thread

[Bamax]

That would be a kicker.

Cloud: <This really sucks. I hope it will be painless. Hmm, power level 8 ought make sure of that.>
ZAP! Poof!
(Later)
Umiak 1: Uh, hey guys...there's no pilot in here.
Umiak 2: Uh oh. It's got to be a trap. Let's get out of here and scuttle this wreck. Now.

Tempo: <Cloud, you idiot! You had ONE JOB!>

Hahaha!

That sounds like something the goofball iteration of Spiral would do in the fanfics (I doubt she is really that incompetent since she is a fighter pilot).

Such an alternate what if scenario of things going wrong would make for a good fanfic though.

Fireblade would survive as per the usual as she has already survived TWO shipwrecks.... so I doubt it's mere coincidence and some applied skill and knowledge is involved.

She would be extra grumpy when Stillstorm's crew picks her up I think.

I think if Spiral drew the short straw, it would go like this:
Spiral: <Aw, shred this, it is the mostest messed up!>
Spiral: ...
Spiral:
(Shoots Talon)
Spiral:

Haha!

Most likely she and Talon would both protest and nominate Cloud since she has is the lowest ranking with the least skills.

She would probably die in combat anyway so...

[Keklas Rekobah]

What do you call a Loroi with three eyes?

SpoilerShow

A Loroiii.

[Snoofman]

A Barsam, a Mannadi and a Nissek walk into a bar... and everybody stops laughing!

[GeoModder]

A Barsam, a Mannadi and a Nissek walk into a bar... and everybody stops laughing!

Why, you ask?
The Barsam opens his scriptures.
The Mannadi asks for hair gel.
And the Nissek demands a snack...

[Snoofman]

A Barsam, a Mannadi and a Nissek walk into a bar... and everybody stops laughing!

Why, you ask?
The Barsam opens his scriptures.
The Mannadi asks for hair gel.
And the Nissek demands a snack...

That’s not bad

[Krulle]

I can imagine better places to be than in a room with a religious person on a converting mission, and a sentient beast hungry for meat, even if it comes from other sentient beings....

But now I wonder whether hair-gel is a working talisman against a hungry Nissek?

[G. Janssen]

I can imagine better places to be than in a room with a religious person on a converting mission, and a sentient beast hungry for meat, even if it comes from other sentient beings....

But now I wonder whether hair-gel is a working talisman against a hungry Nissek?

Oh, I don't know. Religious people have their uses.

1. Being in a room with religious people who try to convert each other can be fun. True story: just like everyone else, my uncle used to be visited by Jehovah's Witnesses on Sunday mornings when they still made their rounds trying to convert people decades ago. This however changed after a while.
You see, my uncle was a UFO nut. He would invite the Jehova's Witnesses in, offer them a cup of coffee and then tell them all how God is an alien, how the pyramids were built by aliens and why exactly the continent of Africa looks like a human face. He would debate them for hours. They blacklisted him after he invited them in a third time and kept them listening to his Erich von Däniken gospel for a few hours. He never preached to his family though. And the neighbours envied him.

2. I guess religious people can help with Nissek hunger issues as well. Just make sure to lock the door after you let them in, go upstairs and bring a mop after the screaming downstairs stops.

3. Certain parts of their bodies can be turned into gelatine, which should kinda be able to function as Mannadi hairgel.

[Keklas Rekobah]

Whenever I saw well-dressed people going door-to-door in my neighborhood, I would wait by the door with a book from my library . . .

SpoilerShow

. . . it is strange how they were always in a hurry to be someplace else.

[Keklas Rekobah]

 
Stillstorm: <Soroin Passet!  Quarters filthy!  Sweep!>

Soroin: <Lashret!  Annen, Lashret!>

(Time passes.)

Stillstorm: <Soroin Passet! Quarters filthy!  Explain!>

SpoilerShow

<Lashret!  Sweep complete.  No enemy found.>

[Keklas Rekobah]

 
Beryl: <what creature on head of Alex?>

Tempo: <perreinian mind-sucker>

Beryl: <it doing what?>

Fireblade: <starving>

[Keklas Rekobah]

 
One day, Alex and Silver Moon were touring a miros processing plant when a beast in a nearby holding pen suddenly lets out an enormously loud burst of flatulence.

Silver Moon turns to Alex and says, "I apologize, Enzin!"

Alex replies, "That's okay.  I am impressed, though."

"Why is that, Enzin?"

"Because . . ."

SpoilerShow

". . . I thought at first it was the miros."

[Keklas Rekobah]

 
Alex: "Do Loroi ever employ pick-up lines?"

Beryl: "Of course we do, Enzin!"

Alex: "Would you like to try one on me?"

Beryl: "Of course!"  So Beryl leans in real close and softly says . . .

SpoilerShow

. . . "Keep your knees bent and your back straight!"

[Keklas Rekobah]

 
Alex: "Hey, Spiral!  How many times do your fighters blow up?"

SpoilerShow

Spiral: "Just once."

[Keklas Rekobah]

 
Talon and Spiral are making practice runs over rough terrain, and keeping contact by radio.

Talon: "Spiral, you need to increase your altitude."

Spiral: "What for?"

Talon: "Noise avoidance."

Spiral: "Noise?  What noise?  We are so high up, no one on the ground can hear us!  What noise could there be?"

SpoilerShow

Talon: "Have you ever heard how much noise these fighters make when they collide with a mountain?"

[Demarquis]

: )

[gaerzi]

Why do male loroi crave sexual intercourse so much?

SpoilerShow

They always have blue balls.

[Snoofman]

Why do humans have a lotai?

SpoilerShow

‘Cause they ain’t got a thought in their brains!

[Snoofman]

Why are so few loroi Unsheathed?

SpoilerShow

‘Cause most loroi seem too dim.

[Keklas Rekobah]

If Emperor Greywind accidentally flatulates during during any official event, those in attendance are supposed to pretend like nothing happened. Why? Because . . .

SpoilerShow

. . . noble gases should have no reaction.

[bunnyboy]

If Emperor Greywind accidentally flatulates. . .

Thank you. Now I m always thinking this is where her name comes from.