Page 218: The Volunteer

[Arioch]

The internet and televised detergent commercials are why there's a Fermi paradox.

heh... why detergent, specifically?

[avatar576]

The internet and televised detergent commercials are why there's a Fermi paradox.

heh... why detergent, specifically?

Well, imagine tuning into an alien communication network and the first thing you see is a Billy Mays infomercial.

Will you:
a.) Call the number on the screen, or
b.) Change the channel

[QuakeIV]

a.) order oxyclean from the alien that has been dead for 20,000 years because im on the other side of the galaxy

[G. Janssen]

The internet and televised detergent commercials are why there's a Fermi paradox.

heh... why detergent, specifically?

It's a cultural joke, I guess. In the Netherlands, washing detergent commercials have become sort of a standard to compare things with. Something is either worse than a washing detergent commercial, or better. "Did you see that new episode of X? It's worse than the average OMO ad." They have become synonymous with things that are bad.

Luckily, not many things are worse than a washing detergent ad. One of the things that is, is the Fiat Multipla. Another is YOKO Electronics, a brand known for producing low quality crap during the eighties and nineties. Especially its range of fruit themed telephones is still infamous.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JYfw1ZZVKkw

Anyways, detergent commercials are considered the worst commercials in the world. Most don't contain a grain of creativity. And the ones that do are even worse. Instead of boring, they are cringe.

Besides being bad, washing detergent commercials are also a unique class of commercials.

[*** Rant Alert ***]

The oldest detergent / soap commercials I can find are from the 1890s. The products in those commercials already wash "cleaner than clean" and "whiter than white".

Then we get 130 years of commercials in which a grinning person holds an ever varying box of powder, each having a name like "BLAP", "LOOG" or "FLURP" printed on the side and containing "New and Improved X, now with added Y!!!" to wash even more whiter than white and even more cleaner than clean. The X is ever improved, the Y is replaced by something different every year.

No other type of product has been able to pull this off.

Imagine it's 1894 and you're reading a car ad. The Benz Velo, the first commercially built car in the world, boasted an impressive top speed of 19 km/hr.

Now imagine 130 years of ads in which car manufacturers promote their ever evolving products. You'd expect the top speed to go up, because of new and revolutionary X that now has added Y. You'd expect 19 km/hr in 1894 to become 350 km/hr in 2022.

But no! Their cars never go faster than 19 km/hr. Yet somehow the speed with which theirs go 19 km/hr is always an improvement over the speed of 19 km/hr of the original model from 1894 and their own previous model. And it's all due to science. Science that has yielded hundreds and hundreds of improvements (and will continue to do so) to make that happen.

And people fall for it. The most expensive washing detergent in my local supermarket is Euro 7.25. The cheapest is Euro 1.35. The cheap one hardly gets sold because "it's so cheap, it must be crap". But as I found out it washes just as well as the expensive ones.

[SVlad]

And people fall for it. The most expensive washing detergent in my local supermarket is Euro 7.25. The cheapest is Euro 1.35. The cheap one hardly gets sold because "it's so cheap, it must be crap". But as I found out it washes just as well as the expensive ones.

Lucky you. Here in Russia the cheapest detergents barely wash anything at all. And best ones was imported from neighbor Finland personally by me. Literally, the same trademark soap bought in Russia was noticeably weaker than that bought in Finland, though theoretically they should be equal.

[G. Janssen]

And people fall for it. The most expensive washing detergent in my local supermarket is Euro 7.25. The cheapest is Euro 1.35. The cheap one hardly gets sold because "it's so cheap, it must be crap". But as I found out it washes just as well as the expensive ones.

Lucky you. Here in Russia the cheapest detergents barely wash anything at all. And best ones was imported from neighbor Finland personally by me. Literally, the same trademark soap bought in Russia was noticeably weaker than that bought in Finland, though theoretically they should be equal.

What your soap needs is EU regulations. Add a bunch of those and that soap will turn a coal mine into a marble palace. I like to make fun of the EU, but preventing the problem that you're describing is one of the good things that the EU has done. Every product sold must comply with certain quality standards.

[Zorg56]

And people fall for it. The most expensive washing detergent in my local supermarket is Euro 7.25. The cheapest is Euro 1.35. The cheap one hardly gets sold because "it's so cheap, it must be crap". But as I found out it washes just as well as the expensive ones.

Lucky you. Here in Russia the cheapest detergents barely wash anything at all. And best ones was imported from neighbor Finland personally by me. Literally, the same trademark soap bought in Russia was noticeably weaker than that bought in Finland, though theoretically they should be equal.

What your soap needs is EU regulations. Add a bunch of those and that soap will turn a coal mine into a marble palace. I like to make fun of the EU, but preventing the problem that you're describing is one of the good things that the EU has done. Every product sold must comply with certain quality standards.

It is tied more to the general wealth of the country if anything. In Bulgaria for example same products are also lower quality if compared to the same products in Italy or Austria.
Iiirc there was a big scandal with some candy between Poland and Germany, because ones that went to Germany were significantly better, despite the fact that they were made in the same factory.

[G. Janssen]

Lucky you. Here in Russia the cheapest detergents barely wash anything at all. And best ones was imported from neighbor Finland personally by me. Literally, the same trademark soap bought in Russia was noticeably weaker than that bought in Finland, though theoretically they should be equal.

What your soap needs is EU regulations. Add a bunch of those and that soap will turn a coal mine into a marble palace. I like to make fun of the EU, but preventing the problem that you're describing is one of the good things that the EU has done. Every product sold must comply with certain quality standards.

It is tied more to the general wealth of the country if anything. In Bulgaria for example same products are also lower quality if compared to the same products in Italy or Austria.
Iiirc there was a big scandal with some candy between Poland and Germany, because ones that went to Germany were significantly better, despite the fact that they were made in the same factory.

That is terrible. A product, sold in different countries, should be of the same quality. Maybe local regulations exist, but if Fruity McFruitjuiceface contains 20% strawberries in Germany, it should not contain only 5% in Bulgaria.

Found it.
https://tvpworld.com/39408588/some-food ... any-report

Looks like it was addressed in the same year.
https://newsbeezer.com/polandeng/no-mor ... n-quality/

And voted on.
https://www.europarl.europa.eu/doceo/do ... 67_EN.html

It was known since 2013. Bloody bureaucrats.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source= ... IJpTjdp1p9

The practice was banned in 2019, but complaints persist. Looks like they're random now.
https://notesfrompoland.com/2021/03/29/ ... across-eu/