Perrein Insider article feedback

[Arioch]

I generally have a number of Insider articles in various stages of progress, as I add to them over time. Frequently they are chiefly digests of discussions from these forums. This article about Perrein (chiefly about the native biosphere) is nearing completion. While I work on things that I'm actually supposed to be working on (like page 227), I thought I would give you a look and an opportunity to provide feedback. If something here is unclear, or you have unanswered questions, feel free to comment below.

Insider article: Perrein, the Second SIster

[Urist]

Very cool! I really like the extensive background on a very alien planet here; it's always fun to read that sort of writing even if much of the astro-scale stuff goes over my head. It's a neat hypothetical on how a world could differ so very much from Earth (and Deinar & Taben, for that matter) while still being plausibly inhabitable. Barely habitable, anyways.

You'd think that it would make Perrein-raised loroi into natural spaceship-crew: they're used to a 'do every check properly, or you'll die horribly' lifestyle already, the idea that the atmosphere around them is permanently recycled is nothing new, they don't miss the warm sun on their back, and many of them are probably especially happy to get to go anywhere but their homeworld!

I was going to say that the short section about the holiday 'Windfury' raises more questions about just how a holiday named for such a decidedly non-maternal figure became associated with 'Mother's Day,' but then I remembered how nobody's quite sure how St. Valentine became associated with the idea of romance either. Apparently it might be Chaucer's fault, of all people.

Well, now I can really understand Talon & Spiral laughing when Tempo brought up Perrein cuisine!

Edit: For an actual *question* on this new article, is the system primary name 'Saramalir' derived from 'Saran' (most) and 'Malir' (shining)? Because naming their sun simply 'Brightest' seems like a neat touch for a people who probably didn't get to see it all that much.

A few minor typos, to help if they're not on your list alreadyShow

- On the paragraph before the heading 'Perrein's Native Biosphere' there's the phrase "There does there appear to have been..." where the second 'there' is probably supposed to be 'not'.
- Under the heading 'Dogos' there's 'variouspy' mis-typed. Unless that's just a Mizol 'spy' sneaking around where she isn't supposed to be.
- Under the heading 'Sori' there's a missing word 'to' in the 3rd-paragraph sentence "...more robust, and often able [to] be clasped..."
- The first sentence under the heading 'History of the Colony' is missing a word. "...the first evidence of technological at any time..."
- Same paragraph, "...there doesn't not appear to have been..." seems to have an extra negative.

[Arioch]

For an actual *question* on this new article, is the system primary name 'Saramalir' derived from 'Saran' (most) and 'Malir' (shining)? Because naming their sun simply 'Brightest' seems like a neat touch for a people who probably didn't get to see it all that much.

Yes. The system name is from the Deinar Loroi, as it is the brightest star in the Deinar sky. The Perrein Loroi just call the system Perrein and the primary nelo, "the sun."

Thanks for the feedback and errata.

[Gudo]

Sori Reimadi are a subcaste of the Deinar originating Soroin? Were they a formerly independent tradition that was absorbed into the larger imperial caste system during reunification? Something like an "Everyone with this set of skills gets green armor" kind of situation?

Also, to what degree do shadowlands Loroi actually have improved low-light vision? Is it in line with how the Sherpa people utilize oxygen more efficiently?

Minor TyposShow

•Lobei These flying tetrapods are ... They are warm-flooded and fly with... Should be warm-blooded?
•The Sun-Worshippers A few highland cultures survived by isolating themselves even further, ... some male philosophers began to take honorary and then actual positions as clan heads. In the region of [NAME] placeholder in the text.

[Arioch]

Sori Reimadi are a subcaste of the Deinar originating Soroin? Were they a formerly independent tradition that was absorbed into the larger imperial caste system during reunification? Something like an "Everyone with this set of skills gets green armor" kind of situation?

The Sori Reimadi was an independent caste on Perrein, but as the Loroi encountered native life on other new colonies, it was decided to start up new Reimadi chapters on those worlds with organisms that could be utilized by them. The original Sori Reimadi didn't have the administrative systems (or interest) to manage this, so they were absorbed into the Soroin. However, the Sori Reimadi on Perrein still operate mostly as an independent caste, with their own uniforms, etc.

Also, to what degree do shadowlands Loroi actually have improved low-light vision? Is it in line with how the Sherpa people utilize oxygen more efficiently?

I'm not sure how to quantify it, but the eyes of Shadowlands Loroi adjust quickly to low-light conditions, and though they can't see in the pitch black, they can see reasonably well if there is any light at all.

Loroi have been living in the Shadowlands for far longer than the Sherpas have been living at high altitude, so they have had plenty of time to adapt, and there is pretty strong selection pressure on them thanks to the dangerous environment.

[GeoModder]

I had an inkling you were working on the Insider, Arioch, with the update last March on the Hierarchy races.

A typo I noticed:

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Double "The" at the onset of the sentence (marked for clarity);

Scale Tree Forests
The the enormous scale trees form the foundations of the megaforest biome.

And one I'm not certain of:

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"Civilizations" instead of "Civilization"?

History of the Colony
The arrival of Loroi on Perrein at the end of the Soia era represents the first evidence of technological settlement at any time in the planet's history; there are no surviving ruins or traces of previous civilization.

[Arioch]

Thanks for the corrections.

The plural is intentional: the precursors (Fenrias, Dreiman and Soia) are different civilizations.

[Gudo]

Also, to what degree do shadowlands Loroi actually have improved low-light vision? Is it in line with how the Sherpa people utilize oxygen more efficiently?

I'm not sure how to quantify it, but the eyes of Shadowlands Loroi adjust quickly to low-light conditions, and though they can't see in the pitch black, they can see reasonably well if there is any light at all.

Loroi have been living in the Shadowlands for far longer than the Sherpas have been living at high altitude, so they have had plenty of time to adapt, and there is pretty strong selection pressure on them thanks to the dangerous environment.

Is there low-light vision sufficiently better in your mind to warrant special rules or ability modifiers in a table top RPG?

[Arioch]

Also, to what degree do shadowlands Loroi actually have improved low-light vision? Is it in line with how the Sherpa people utilize oxygen more efficiently?

I'm not sure how to quantify it, but the eyes of Shadowlands Loroi adjust quickly to low-light conditions, and though they can't see in the pitch black, they can see reasonably well if there is any light at all.

Loroi have been living in the Shadowlands for far longer than the Sherpas have been living at high altitude, so they have had plenty of time to adapt, and there is pretty strong selection pressure on them thanks to the dangerous environment.

Is there low-light vision sufficiently better in your mind to warrant special rules or ability modifiers in a table top RPG?

In GURPS terms it qualifies as Night Vision, which is described thus:

Your eyes adapt rapidly to the darkness. You cannot see in total
dark - but if you have any light at all, you can see fairly well.
Whenever the GM exacts a penalty because of darkness, except for
total darkness, this penalty does not apply to you.

[Said2k]

is there a human solar system for comparison?

[Arioch]

is there a human solar system for comparison?

[Overkill Engine]

Lore dumps are always appreciated.

Perrein reminds me of a slightly nicer planet Chimaera from the anime Jyu-Oh-Sei.

[GeoModder]

After reading the article a second (and third) time:

In the Didein section:

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"Large example can grow to almost three meters in length."

"Exemplars" perhaps?

In the Loshradi section:

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"One of the deadliest such fungal pathogens is known to the Loroi as "creeper," It remains deadly if untreated;"

Twice the use of a similar word here, I feel "lethal" or "fatal" would read better in the second instance.

In the History of the Colony section:

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The survivors were able to adapt, and the oldest known settlement first appear not long after planetfall,

Not sure if "appear" or "appears" is proper here. Or even "appeared". Or should "settlement" be plural ("settlements")?

Last line in the Deinar and Reunification section

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However, despite the modern celebration of 850 CE at the date of "Reunification," it would be almost 350 years before any formal political affiliation would exist between the two sister worlds.

"as the date" instead of "at the date"?

Last paragraph of the Mizol: the left hand section:

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The various Perrein city-state practiced and continued to practice different specialty techniques,

"City-states" instead of "CIty-state"? It looks like it should be plural here.

In the Reimadi: The Beast Handlers section:

First paragraph

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Sue to their deep reservoir of wild genes,

"True" instead of "Sue"?

Second paragraph

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It is nominally as sub-caste of the Soroin

"a" instead of "as"?

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but in practice it acts and a hybrid caste headquartered on Perrein,

"as" instead of "and"?

Third paragraph

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the Remirlaet.

The header of the following section states the caste as "Remirlaiet", with an extra "i" in the last vowel.

In the Remirlaiet: Keepers of the Shadow Lore section

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spiritual counselors

"councilors?

Twice in this section as well:

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The Remirlaet

"Remirlaiet" again?

[GeoModder]

After all that work, perhaps a question?

Had the forest city-states in olden times a tradition of living in or maintaining outposts in the canopies (middle and/or upper) for easier access to resources? I'm mostly thinking of collecting fresh water and perhaps some food.

[Arioch]

Thanks for the notes.

"Remirlaiet" is the correct spelling.

A "counselor" is a different thing from a "councilor." The male philosophers are the former, not the latter.

Had the forest city-states in olden times a tradition of living in or maintaining outposts in the canopies (middle and/or upper) for easier access to resources? I'm mostly thinking of collecting fresh water and perhaps some food.

Yes, they did and still do have dwellings in the trees themselves. I'll expand on that in the article, thanks for mentioning it.