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<Explain what happened.>

<It’s a little hard to do, commander…>

<Explain.>

<Well, you know how you ordered the full toxicity tests on the alien diplomat? So the little incident last month wouldn’t be repeated? It…well, we might want to expand that a little, cover several things that were—>

<Get to the point. What has befallen the entire diplomatic security detail.>

<Through the toxicity tests and trial-and-error, we’d managed to confirm the Human’s reactions to most common Loroi foodstuffs. Kind of silly, really, that we didn’t do all that immediately after recovering him from his ship. Anyways, it seems that a number of foodstuffs that were deemed unlikely for him to ever come into contact with were omitted from the testing program, and as a result the security detail was unprepared for his reaction to…one of our more powerful beverages.>

<And this sequence of events led to…?>

<As it turns out, some quirk of biochemistry causes him to be more or less immune to many Loroi intoxicating agents.>

<What.>

<You had given leave to the security detail. Take a few days off, you said. No need to worry, you said. Show him how Loroi have fun, you—>

<Who neglected to administer the toxicity tests.>

<What is done is done. What happened was he managed to get into a drinking contest with the members of his security detail.>

<Fuck.>

<I am pleased to report that none of that occurred. However, Fireblade is still in the medical bay thanks to overindulgence. She will recover. It seems she will not attempt something like that again.>

<Have a word with her. The Teidar are always so headstrong on matters of pride.>

<I already have. Oh, and speaking of which, the human is currently in the medical bay as well. From what we can tell, he finally managed to succumb to intoxication after his security detail finally found something that would work on humans and believed himself to be capable of flight. No permanent injuries were sustained.>

<…after this is over, I think I will need a drink as well.>

<The three-day leave you granted to all crewmembers of the Tempest has already expired, I am afraid. As the commander is aware, intoxication while on duty is a serious—>

<Shut up, Tempo.>

<Just kidding.>

<You're starting to act more like the human every day. Stop it.>

<At once, commander.>