A Chorus of Stars

[Urist]

For what it's worth, I'd say that this story strikes about the perfect balance between those two 'halves.' There's enough of the politics to keep it from just turning into a slice-of-life "Greywind raises human children; shenanigans ensue!" comedy, and there's enough lighthearted creche silliness to keep things from being grim politics all the time.

If there's anything I'd honestly like to see get a bit more attention (as in, the readers get to see more of it) it would be some focus on human politics, oddly. Since humanity in the Outsider setting is among the most politically-fragmented (after the Tithric, who got bombed back to practically hunter-gatherer Fallout level) species, I'd wonder how they ended up having "one" main political theme.

That said, the story isn't really about them so it can slide well enough even without any more detailed coverage.

[Snoofman]

For what it's worth, I'd say that this story strikes about the perfect balance between those two 'halves.' There's enough of the politics to keep it from just turning into a slice-of-life "Greywind raises human children; shenanigans ensue!" comedy, and there's enough lighthearted creche silliness to keep things from being grim politics all the time.

If there's anything I'd honestly like to see get a bit more attention (as in, the readers get to see more of it) it would be some focus on human politics, oddly. Since humanity in the Outsider setting is among the most politically-fragmented (after the Tithric, who got bombed back to practically hunter-gatherer Fallout level) species, I'd wonder how they ended up having "one" main political theme.

That said, the story isn't really about them so it can slide well enough even without any more detailed coverage.

On that first note in retrospect, that was kind of what I was aiming for. Because in a way that is how real life is. It's not all grim, but it's not all sunny either. Greywind in my fanfic at least is not just some ruthless schemer, although many of her opponents Loroi or otherwise like to paint her as such. She is a complex soul with political, warrior and familial responsibilities.

On the second note, I hope to cover more about the Terrans and how it came to the rise of the Confederacy in one of my future installments. It does seem like one political theme when it comes to political matters. But the Terran nations of old, or at least some of them, are still around. They just adhere to the interstellar authority of the Confederacy. Much like the way the Loroi Union, while the central authority of its own empire, is composed of many smaller nations that comply with the Empire's regulations. Not all humans like the Confederacy for various reasons, namely that they don't like one authority taking complete control. And that many humans who in fact empathize with aliens are being drowned out by the xenophobic propaganda that the Confederacy is allowing to run rampant throughout the Terran empire.

By the way Urist, sorry I haven't commented on your new fanfic posts yet. But you're posting new chapters at incredible speed. I swear I'm catching up.

[Cthulhu]

I'll second Urist's point about Human politics, and I'd like to expand on it a bit. The Humans shift too much into a "villain", even a "barbarian" trope, whom the "civilized Loroi" need to save from themselves. Or especially from their "fascist" leaders. But, is it really that straightforward?

[Snoofman]

I'll second Urist's point about Human politics, and I'd like to expand on it a bit. The Humans shift too much into a "villain", even a "barbarian" trope, whom the "civilized Loroi" need to save from themselves. Or especially from their "fascist" leaders. But, is it really that straightforward?

To answer your question, not at all. What I’ve tried to convey is that the Terrans only seem like villains from the Union perspective. The Confederacy is for all intents a fascist movement, but it was a consequence of humans fearing being violently subjugated by the Loroi.

Not all Conferation enthusiasts are xenophobes, but the Confederacy is driven to protect ‘human’ interests. They are barbaric in as much as the Loroi are ruthless.

I will touch on it later how some humans witnessed just how brutal the Loroi could be during the war against the Hierarchy. Hence why some felt the need to side with the fascists and human extremists.

I have presented the Loroi in a positive light because it has been told mostly from their side throughout this fanfic series. But we will eventually touch on some more terrible truths about the Loroi and Greywind as the series progresses.

[Cthulhu]

I will touch on it later how some humans witnessed just how brutal the Loroi could be during the war against the Hierarchy. Hence why some felt the need to side with the fascists and human extremists.

Then the problem is that there's not enough information about the humans. You're basing it off of another fanfic, but without explaining how much stuff is carried over. What is that "Terran Confederate Party" supposed to be? What's their aim? How did they rise to power?

I have presented the Loroi in a positive light because it has been told mostly from their side throughout this fanfic series. But we will eventually touch on some more terrible truths about the Loroi and Greywind as the series progresses.

Perhaps you should've released the parts in a different order, with the "human" arc coming up earlier. Now, the story is too deep inside the Loroi perspective, it will be quite hard to present the human POV without them both clashing. Quite literally, since the next arc will be about the war, right?

[Urist]

Eh, as I said it's not really something that I think *has* to be fleshed out, it's just the main part of this story that hasn't already been covered in detail and explained. You don't *have* to go explore it if doing so would be clunky (or uninteresting to write; writing fanfiction is supposed to be fun after all).

I would approximately compare it to the Lord of the Rings trilogy (a story well-known enough that I'll assume most people are at least generally familiar with it). There, the Easterlings and Southrons (the dudes with the war elephants) and to a lesser extent the river pirates are present pretty much as "scary foreigners whom the heroes have to defeat." There's relatively little explanation given in the trilogy as to their backstory, how they came to be allied with Sauron, and why they marched (or sailed) to war. But that's okay, because they serve a useful purpose in the story of elevating the stakes in the Siege of Gondor.

(Of course, Tolkien being Tolkien, he does give them a rather extensive backstory in his other writings/notes.)

TL;DR write what's fun for you.

[Cthulhu]

The "faceless" Easterlings aren't a good comparison, because here, "Enzin" is on their side.

But yes, I'm not insisting on anything, just pointing out whatever catches my eye.

[gigachad]

The path with Ben's abilities is very interesting and the development of these abilities is the Emperor's main trump card, but as they said earlier, a branch with a view from the Terran side is needed because presenting them as some kind of Nazis from Wolfenstein would not be very good, in fact, the content of the fan base for our universe is based only on people like you.