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[Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed) 
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Hm, had assumed the blue rectangles on inner bow were docking bays or something, but with Tempest's hangar placement, the generally similar external layout of Loroi ships and the mentioned color uniformity, they may indeed be something else.

When I talked about viewports I meant the small yellow rectangles, also seen on Winter Tide and various others. Placement seems to be about where I'd expect windows to be, and radiators don't seem to be a thing even on the lower tech TCA ships (unless some of the blue rectangles are radiators).


Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:53 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Yeah, thought you were talking about the blue rectangles as well...

The small blips do indeed look like windows so I guess it will be one of the things that will go in the rewrite/explanation list for later.

EDIT: Also, one more comment for ridiculous Loroi ship design; right behind the ridiculously wide corridors and the extravagant bridge design.
EDIT2:

Seeing this:

http://well-of-souls.com/gallery/images ... tems01.jpg

See the location of the primary ECM/Sensor suite

From this angle:

http://well-of-souls.com/outsider/outsider017.html

Taking into account the coloring and the size of the various blips seen there; the windows could be multiple Sensor/ECM equipment scattered throughout the hull.

EDIT3: The sensor thing is thin though.

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Fri Mar 27, 2015 2:27 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
There's also crew areas marked there. And sensors tend not to glow, and the placement on other ships is nonsensical for sensors.


Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:24 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Whale wrote:
There's also crew areas marked there. And sensors tend not to glow, and the placement on other ships is nonsensical for sensors.


I guess I am going to go with the destroyed explanation from now on; damn those blue bits, drawing my attention from what's important :P

EDIT:Also how come the views jumped from 2500 to 3800 in 12 hours?

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Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
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Sat Mar 28, 2015 1:33 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
dragoongfa wrote:
Whale wrote:
There's also crew areas marked there. And sensors tend not to glow, and the placement on other ships is nonsensical for sensors.


I guess I am going to go with the destroyed explanation from now on; damn those blue bits, drawing my attention from what's important :P

EDIT:Also how come the views jumped from 2500 to 3800 in 12 hours?


The medieval church in the next town from where I live have several fake windows. Maybe it is just painted on windows as a decoration?


Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:15 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Sweforce wrote:

The medieval church in the next town from where I live have several fake windows. Maybe it is just painted on windows as a decoration?


That wouldn't make much sense in a warship, especially one in a Total War environment where every last bit of resource/man hour counts, even if it's just something as simple as paint. I am guessing that the Loroi really like open spaces and that their crew quarters/recreation areas have them as an extravagance.

The fake window thing is also done on some modern luxury cruisers, it makes them look better.

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Sat Mar 28, 2015 1:34 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
dragoongfa wrote:
Sweforce wrote:

The medieval church in the next town from where I live have several fake windows. Maybe it is just painted on windows as a decoration?


That wouldn't make much sense in a warship, especially one in a Total War environment where every last bit of resource/man hour counts, even if it's just something as simple as paint. I am guessing that the Loroi really like open spaces and that their crew quarters/recreation areas have them as an extravagance.

The fake window thing is also done on some modern luxury cruisers, it makes them look better.


While I think you're right on this specific point, remember that the Loroi keep pictures of their historical or religious figures on their ships. They do leave some room for spiritual images.


Sat Mar 28, 2015 2:30 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Mr.Tucker wrote:
While I think you're right on this specific point, remember that the Loroi keep pictures of their historical or religious figures on their ships. They do leave some room for spiritual images.


True but that would fall under maintaining morale which is one of the most important aspects of war. This has been especially true in all Total Wars that have been fought in human history (from antiquity till now).

Heroic historical figures and religious symbols have been and still are under widespread use in all of the worlds armed forces; it's a relatively cheap trick to keep morale high. Even the Soviets, at the darkest hours of the war allowed for religious symbols to be carried in battle, which for a communist totalitarian regime was previously considered a big no no.

Painting fake external windows serves no such purpose. But it is also true that the Loroi have given a lot of extravagant allowance in their ship design, with their ridiculous corridors, the extravagant bridges and even windows.

I don't know if people have done this discussion before but everything I have listed above, especially the bridge are signs of a culture that doesn't take total war seriously (yet). I could write an entire essay as to how the real time space projection in the bridge is just a big distraction and is an invitation for 'tunnel vision' but I will mention that in the story when the time comes.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Sat Mar 28, 2015 3:17 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Sat Mar 28, 2015 3:06 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
dragoongfa wrote:
a Total War environment where every last bit of resource/man hour counts, even if it's just something as simple as paint.
I find that hilarious when the amount of bright colors on a Loroi escort likely rivals the amount in the entire TCA Colonial Fleet. :P

And I find the idea of fake windows on a warship quite silly.


Sat Mar 28, 2015 3:13 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Wow, this is great.


Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:57 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 3, part 2

“Who is out there?” The distinct Sanzai voice of Thunderspear, one of her Teidar bodyguards, carried itself throughout the ship.

“What is it now Thunderspear?” Shadowcloud asked, already guessing the reply.

“Somebody is obviously playing games with me and the Farseer.” The Teidar replied.

“Calmwater is with you?”

“We met by chance and we meditated together.” The Farseer replied with barely hidden alarm.

“Someone is out there, obviously playing ‘pat the back’ with us.” Thunderspear added and Shadowcloud sighed at that, the Teidar liked to play that game with other castes, sneaking up on them with their Lotai and startling them. Truth be told the Mizol played that game as well, when they were still in their dirals, the Teidar however still kept at it; saying that it helped the other warriors stay on guard.

“Teidar Sezon Razormist one of yours plays ‘pat the back’ with Thunderspear and the Farseer.” Shadowcloud sent out to her senior bodyguard.

“Coldsword and Longblade are both here with me. Must be one of the Soroin trying to get back at Thunderspear.” The Teidar Sezon replied.

“No Soroin can possibly have that good of a Lotai, we can’t sense anything.” Thunderspear replied instantly.

“Then that means that she ain’t close enough for you to sense her.” The Sezon snapped back annoyed.

“The Farseer would pick her up regardless.” Shadowcloud commented.

“Have her shout that idiot out of her Lotai then. Serves her right trying to fool a Teidar.” The Sezon replied and Shadowcloud snickered at that.

“Farseer, the Teidar encourage you to shout out the culprit.” Shadowcloud sent as she raised her mental defenses.

“But everyone will feel it if I shout.” The Farseer protested.

“That’s the problem of the one who is playing games like she is still in her diral.” Shadowcloud replied.

“Fine…” A moment later a shrilly telepathic shout echoed throughout the ship and dozens and grunts of annoyance were heard a moment later as every last warrior on the ship reacted to it.

“Did you like that you idiot?” Thunderspear yelled in Sanzai only to receive a cacophony of angry remarks by those who were strong enough to have their sending heard in that distance.

“So who is the culprit?” Shadowcloud asked barely managing to hold back her laughter.

“I…still don’t feel anyone.” Thunderspear replied, worry and alertness clearly entrenched in her mind.

“I swear, if you are playing games Teidar…” Razormist begun, clearly annoyed with some hints of worry as well.

“Both of us heard footsteps and perhaps whispers.” Thundespear cut her off.

“Teidar, are you certain that you heard right?” Shadowcloud asked, all traces of humor gone from her.

“Yes Mizol.”

“Razormist, the time has come.” Shadowcloud sent with trepidation before checking her blaster pistol and taking out her amplifier from its pouch strapped on her right leg.

“But we should have sensed the Shells if they got close enough.” Razormist cried out.

“I was wrong, whatever trick they are using it doesn’t have to do anything with our amplifiers, they must have found a way to hide themselves completely from us.” Shadowcloud replied as calmly as one who made one last realization in the face of death could.

“But that’s impossible.”

“We don’t even know how telepathy works, no one knows what’s impossible.” Shadowcloud begun as she and other warriors rushed towards Thunderspear, the enemy undoubtedly being near her. “Tell Darkwing to get the missiles ready and to wait for my signal, I want us to take as many Shells with us…”

“Mizol!” Thunderspear cried out urgently.

“What is it Teidar?”

“I see at least three of them, they ain’t Shells.” The Teidar reported.

“Are you sure?”

“They wear some sort of space suits and they are using flashlights…Damn they saw me.”

“Stand strong sister, help is on the way.” Razormist encouraged her subordinate.

“They are…trying to talk to me!” Thunderspear said with obvious disbelief.

“What?” Both Sezon Razormist and Shadowcloud blurted out at the same time, since the Shells and their allies rarely tried to talk with them.

“I got in cover the moment they saw me and one of them cried out for me to wait and that they are here to help!” Thunderspear replied.

“Here to help and we can’t even sense them. They must be agents of the Shells, for all we know they are the ones who make the Shells invisible!” Razormist replied instantly.

“One of them is slowly approaching where I am while telling me to not be afraid!” Thunderspear said perplexed.

“Are you making this up Teidar?” Razormist accused her subordinate.

“NO!” Thunderspear shouted truthfully. “If the alien gets any closer I am killing it.”

“Have you told it that?” Shadowcloud stopped running as she said that.

“What do you think that I have been trying to do?”

“You spoke to them? Vocally?” Shadowcloud asked in disbelief.

“I am Teidar, I don’t use my mouth to speak to others, especially aliens.” Thunderspear replied angrily.

“Warn them vocally before you do anything!” Shadowcloud yelled in Sanzai, causing the warriors near her to flinch from the strength she put in her telepathic message.

“They have Lotai, they must be telepaths as well.” Thunderspear insisted.

“Stop being a fool, Teidar!” Shadowcloud screamed telepathically, not caring about those near her.

“It… The alien stopped and… it’s going back to the others and… still says that they are here to help and that they… come in peace?” The Teidar said, obviously not believing what she was saying.

“Everyone, hold your positions.” Shadowcloud ordered.

“Mizol, don’t tell us that you believe them?” Razormist cried out.

“If it is a Shell trick I don’t understand its purpose, we need to tread carefully.” Shadowcloud replied.

“It is a trick and we will be playing right into it if we don’t act now!” Razormist insisted.

“If it is a trick we are dead anyway Teidar.” Shadowcloud said dryly.

“As you wish Mizol.” Razormist relented but with clearly felt reservations.

“Don’t stay idle, fan out and search the ship, if there are any more intruders I want you to find them but do not attack them.” Shadowcloud added getting only a telepathic grunt as a reply from Razormist.

“What do I do now Mizol? They are still trying to talk with me.” Thunderspear asked.

“Where is the Farseer?”

“I told her to find cover in an nearby room and stay quiet, I am covering the approach towards her but the aliens have cut us off from the rest of the ship.” Thunderspear replied.

“Good, protect the Farseer and tell the aliens to stay where they are.”

“I think that I can take on all three of them…” Thunderspear commented.

“No, don’t do anything unless they threaten you, just…” The sounds of blaster fire cut her sentence short. “Who is firing, what’s happening?” Shadowcloud broadcasted out.

“A Soroin squad rushed ahead towards Thunderspear’s position and…” Teidar Longblade replied immediately right before the blaster fire stopped. “Just caught up with them; they run into another group of them, one of the Soroin attacked one of them with her combat knife and the alien killed her… No she is still alive but unconscious.”

“How many of them are there? Did anyone get a look at them?” Shadowcloud asked as she begun to run to their position.

“At least two and they say that they too were wearing space suits.” The Teidar replied.

“Just stay where you are, I am coming to you. Are they trying to talk to you?”

“Yes, they are telling us to not fire and that they are coming in peace!” The Teidar didn’t even try to hide her disbelief at that statement.

“Hold your fire and…”

“Mizol, one of the aliens has run off and the other two are arguing in their tongue!” Thunderspear cut in.

“Hold your ground Teidar, don’t do anything. Longblade are you close to Thunderspear’s position?”

“Yes but the aliens have cut us off.” Longblade replied.

“We haven’t found anyone else yet.” Razormist reported.

“Five so far, not enough for an attack.” Shadowcloud thought loudly in Sanzai.

“That still doesn’t change the fact of this being a Shell trick.” Razormist commented.

“Just hold your fire and tempers; we will get our answers in the end.” Shadowcloud repeated as she finally reached Longblade and the three Soroin who had opened fire; immediately realizing that they were Pasets, the youngest of the crew.

“What happened here?” She asked the Soroin, now that she was close enough to see them in person.

“We run ahead, toward’s Teidar Thunderspear and we saw two of them. Slingshot tried to sneak up on one of them but it turned and saw her; she lunged at it with her combat knife, hitting it but it punched her and knocked her out. We thought that it killed her and we opened fire.” One of the Soroin replied.

“Young idiots, the lot of you.” Shadowcloud yelled at them without thinking.

“We are not Mizol cowards!” Another one replied immediately and she pushed her against the wall with a telepathic shove and kept her there.

“Don’t worry youngling, I won’t hold your stupid thoughts against you this time but endanger the Farseer again and I will tear you limb from limb before turning your mind into mush.” She sent coldly before letting the hapless warrior go. The Soroin Paset was still angry but she and her squadmates were too scared to say anything else.

“Where is the one they knocked out?” Shadowcloud asked Longblade who had just taken a peek out of cover.

“They had dragged her with them by the time I got here. I still sense her presence at the end of the corridor.” The Teidar replied.

“Either as a hostage or to get her out of the line of fire.” Shadowcloud thought.

“Or to use her body as a shield, the Pasets didn’t hit them as they got in cover.”

“True, did the aliens fight back?” Shadowcloud asked as she in turn took a quick peek while spreading her mind a little, immediately sensing the unconscious Paset.

“No, I don’t think so.”

Shadowcloud stood motionless for a few moments, trying to bring her thoughts in order as dozens of warriors reached their position after finishing their sweep of the ship.

“Mizol, we have finished our sweep of the rest of the ship. The only places that are left are beyond the end of this corridor.” Razormist reported as she reached her.

“Understood, Thunderspear what’s your situation?” Shadowcloud asked.

“Unchanged, the aliens are talking among themselves in their tongue. Their agitation is obvious.” Thunderspear replied.

“Have they tried to talk with you again?”

“Yes but I warned them to stay away from me. I think that they are trying to decide what to do next.” Thunderspear said calmly.

It was then that Shadowcloud realized that less than 200 Solon had passed from the moment she sent out the alert. They didn’t knew enough about the aliens to form a clear picture and she had to agree with Razormist that this was most likely a Shell trick but she had nothing to lose at that point.

“Thunderspear I want you to tell them that in a few Solons a diplomatic officer will walk alone and unarmed towards their position.” Shadowcloud finally said in Sanzai.

“Mizol, what do you think that you are planning to do?” Razormist instantly snapped at her.

“What my caste is supposed to be doing Teidar.” Shadowcloud replied coldly.

“This is a Shell trick and I am still responsible for your safety, you are not doing anything of the short!” The Sezon insisted.

“When those missiles go off it won’t matter if it is a Shell trick; besides…” Shadowcloud turned at the Teidar and starred directly in her eyes. “Do you think that you can stop me?”

“Damn you Mizol, at least keep your amplifier on.” Razormist relented after a few moments.

“Never planned to get it off.”Shadowcloud mocked the Teidar as she took off her sidearm and gave it to her.

“Mizol, I told them what you said and… they are asking how long a Solon is!” Thunderspear reported.

“Figures…” Shadowcloud activated her armor’s insignia lights before walking into the corridor.

It had been quite some time since the last time she was sent to mediate with aliens and she could sense and read those thus being certain that they weren’t Shell operatives. This time she just hoped beyond all reason that this wasn’t yet another one of their tricks. In that case she hoped that her diplomatic tact remained intact and that she hid her unease as good as she thought she did.

After she took a few steps a figure appeared from the far end of the corridor, slowly walking towards her. She couldn’t see much at first, only that the alien undoubtedly wore a space suit, the feint emergency lighting made it impossible for her to distinguish colors from that distance. What she could clearly see was the alien's two legs and two arms, both sets being in the same position as a Loroi’s were. This didn’t mean much; since there were a few species that had the same build but were still radically different.

As the alien got closer she begun to make out some details, its suit was perhaps white or yellow, she couldn’t be certain without some proper lighting. An empty holster was strapped on its left leg and she saw that it also had five fingers on each hand. She couldn’t make out any details due to its helmet, only that its head was round.

The alien stopped a couple of meters in front of her and she did the same; she still couldn’t make out its face but she spent a couple of moments to study its space suit. It looked outdated, with a large life support backpack but it wasn’t like the most primitive ones which were bulky and barely flexible; that meant that this species was space faring for some time.

“I am Mizol Torimor Shadowcloud and one of my duties is to act as a diplomatic officer of the Loroi Union; I demand to know who you are and what your reasons are for boarding this vessel!” She said with her most authoritarian voice.

“I am…” The alien begun to say but stopped in mid sentence, briefly talking with someone else in its tongue. Its voice was surprisingly deep and rough to her ears, not as much as a Barsam’s but close. The alien then reached up to its helmet and activated an internal light.

“That’s impossible!” She thought loudly, drawing numerous questions from the warriors behind her but the alien begun to speak and she pushed them out of her mind.

“I am Marine Lieutenant Josef Allerberger of the Terran Scout vessel Matveyev. We are on a mission of peace from the Terran colonial authority, on behalf of the six worlds of humanity. We boarded your vessel in search of survivors and to provide assistance.”

Chapter 4, part 1: viewtopic.php?p=18664#p18664

EDIT: Fixed embarrassing misnaming no one mentioned, also typos.

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Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
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Last edited by Guest on Mon Jan 04, 2016 1:11 pm, edited 10 times in total.



Sun Mar 29, 2015 1:47 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
End of chapter 3, which stands at a little more than 4400 words, the second part being around 2500.

I will clean it up tomorrow.

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Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
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Sun Mar 29, 2015 1:48 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
I have to say, I am enjoying your story, dragoongfa. I'm really looking forward to reading more. :) But, something else you said made me think:

dragoongfa wrote:
I don't know if people have done this discussion before but everything I have listed above, especially the bridge are signs of a culture that doesn't take total war seriously (yet). I could write an entire essay as to how the real time space projection in the bridge is just a big distraction and is an invitation for 'tunnel vision' but I will mention that in the story when the time comes.


Assuming I'm reading that right, do you really think that the Loroi aren't taking total war seriously? If so, I think you need to reconsider that. I mean, your own story occurs in a place that shows full well just how committed the Loroi are to a total war. Perhaps the Tithric were secretly supporting the Umiak, perhaps they just couldn't stop them, but the Loroi couldn't allow the Umiak to use the Tithric (the people; the infrastructure; the very space) in anyway. And now, the Tithric have been bombed (blaster-ed?) to a pre-space flight stage at the very least. If that doesn't show serious consideration of total war, then I don't know what does.

Given the state of the war, I don't have any doubts that if the Loroi gained orbital control of any major Umiak world they'd more than happily burn it into radioactive glass.

As for the aesthetics of the Loroi ships, they are just that, aesthetics. Humanity's ships look the way the do out of necessity. They are comparatively primitive and have no choice but to be ruthlessly practical in the design of their vessels. They don't have the energy, materials or technology to have any sort of extravagances.

Additionally, what looks to human eyes as inefficient and wasteful (broad corridors; massive holographic displays on the bridge) might not actually be. We don't know the internal structure of Loroi ships; for all we know those huge corridors form an integral part of a ship's support structure. And the Loroi do like open spaces; if they're technology lets them have such things without reducing combat effectiveness, why shouldn't they have them? As you point out, morale matters.

Also, I'm pretty sure if humanity had the tech for the Tempest's bridge display, they'd have that display somewhere onboard. If not the bridge, then maybe the rec center or ship's mess. While such a display may prove distracting for a human, it might not be for a Loroi. Different psychology, right?

If this is something you plan on touching upon in your story, I look forward reading it (even more than I already do).


Sun Mar 29, 2015 3:02 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Mr Bojangles wrote:
I have to say, I am enjoying your story, dragoongfa. I'm really looking forward to reading more. :) But, something else you said made me think:

dragoongfa wrote:
I don't know if people have done this discussion before but everything I have listed above, especially the bridge are signs of a culture that doesn't take total war seriously (yet). I could write an entire essay as to how the real time space projection in the bridge is just a big distraction and is an invitation for 'tunnel vision' but I will mention that in the story when the time comes.


Assuming I'm reading that right, do you really think that the Loroi aren't taking total war seriously? If so, I think you need to reconsider that. I mean, your own story occurs in a place that shows full well just how committed the Loroi are to a total war. Perhaps the Tithric were secretly supporting the Umiak, perhaps they just couldn't stop them, but the Loroi couldn't allow the Umiak to use the Tithric (the people; the infrastructure; the very space) in anyway. And now, the Tithric have been bombed (blaster-ed?) to a pre-space flight stage at the very least. If that doesn't show serious consideration of total war, then I don't know what does.

Given the state of the war, I don't have any doubts that if the Loroi gained orbital control of any major Umiak world they'd more than happily burn it into radioactive glass.

As for the aesthetics of the Loroi ships, they are just that, aesthetics. Humanity's ships look the way the do out of necessity. They are comparatively primitive and have no choice but to be ruthlessly practical in the design of their vessels. They don't have the energy, materials or technology to have any sort of extravagances.

Additionally, what looks to human eyes as inefficient and wasteful (broad corridors; massive holographic displays on the bridge) might not actually be. We don't know the internal structure of Loroi ships; for all we know those huge corridors form an integral part of a ship's support structure. And the Loroi do like open spaces; if they're technology lets them have such things without reducing combat effectiveness, why shouldn't they have them? As you point out, morale matters.

Also, I'm pretty sure if humanity had the tech for the Tempest's bridge display, they'd have that display somewhere onboard. If not the bridge, then maybe the rec center or ship's mess. While such a display may prove distracting for a human, it might not be for a Loroi. Different psychology, right?

If this is something you plan on touching upon in your story, I look forward reading it (even more than I already do).


This may turn out to be a wall of text; I am an amateur military historian and I tend to babble a bit.

Exchanging atrocities is one of the easiest things to do in any war, not just a Total War. Civilians just tend to be targeted a lot more on a Total War by both sides. In all recorded total wars in history, both sides of it have committed horrible acts against civilian populations.

The German occupation of Russia, the Soviet retaliations when the tide turned, the allied carpet bombings of civilian centers, the Japanese treatment of occupied nations; these are all just recent examples of the most memorable total war but such acts have been commonplace and frequent throughout human history. What's worse, certain successful empires committed such crimes knowingly and not in the spur of the moment; and these acts worked like a charm in their case. In short, the atrocities that the Loroi and Umiak have committed are nothing to us, we have been doing those to ourselves since the beginning of recorded history.

The reason we stopped doing these (for now) isn't because of a false sense of humanism, its because modern technology has made such acts too easy and too effective. Nukes are one thing that comes to everyone's mind but they are not the only aspect. In a total war situation between two 'superpower' nations (thankfully we have only one at the moment) billions will die and humanity's fate will be at stake. Mutually Assured Destruction is the key phrase and for that reason alone the US and the USSR didn't come to blows despite decades of preparation and mutual suspicion.

A total war however is not just about the atrocities; its about two distinct states of mind while being in it:

First; full mobilization of the economy towards supporting the war. This is perhaps the easiest part for people to understand; everything the nation has goes to the war effort. It's also one of the earliest and easiest measures to implement. Conscription, rationing, nationalization of the industry; all of the above are standard parts of the emergency legislation of any advanced nation. The things that the Loroi did after having a government change, we humans can do it by enacting already passed contingency plans.

The second part is the harshest part; fighting the war with the intent to win no matter the cost. That's where the 'not taking it seriously' part of my thinking comes to. It is hard to nail this down if one doesn't understand the way of thinking of true Total War; in a way it's about fully accepting the price of victory and grasping it with all available strength.

The wars of Rome and Carthage come to mind, especially the second Punic war; the earliest properly recorded example of a Total War I am describing.

The Romans let their own countryside suffer but they protected their allies when Hannibal was at Italy because they knew that their fields could be fixed later but if their allies capitulated and turned at them then they were doomed. That sacrifice was half of the war however; the other half was in the way they fought. Hannibal was a brilliant strategist and led a crack force of professional soldiers (mercenaries); what the Romans did was drown them in numbers, theirs and their allies. Hannibal won battle, after battle, after battle but the Romans negated the Carthagenians from getting a strategic advantage from those victories. The Romans had plenty of bodies to throw but the coffers of Carthage didn't have enough gold for their armies.

In the end Carthage lost the war despite winning most of the battles, they became subordinate to the Romans as a result and when the Carthgenians, decades later, thought to shake off Roman control the Romans razed Carthage to the ground and salted the earth.

How does this translate to the Loroi-Umiak conflict?

I will give you a theoretical example: What if Sunfall didn't raze the Tithric and instead occupied a few select planets; then launched a small attack against occupied Seren and when the Umiak shifted their forces there launched a massive attack through Tithric space razing everything in her path?

Sure every last Loroi in the occupied territories would be dead but who would have bled more by their sacrifice? The Loroi war effort which already was at full swing without them or the Umiak who would have shifted forces there to defend against a feint when the Loroi would hit them with everything they had elsewhere?

Now, where does this comes into the stuff I described earlier? Well, they are clear signs that the Loroi seek 'comfortable' ways of waging war instead of waging war in order to win at all costs; despite their defeats they still don't see the war for what it is: Survival of the one who goes to the greatest lengths to gain victory.

The rest I will probably cover in the story.

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Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:16 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
For years i am coming back to this site like a masochist expecting a new page from arioch and i am always disapointed :( . You sir with your well written fanfic restored my faith in the Loroi universe.

I will only say this write faster. :P


Sun Apr 05, 2015 10:04 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 4, part 1

If there was one thing that they didn’t expect to see was this, an alien that looks like that.

When Private Gomez hit the alien that attacked him he didn’t wait to see what it was, he immediately retaliated by grabbing it and punching it repeatedly until it was out cold. His ‘It’s a god damn blue elf’ remark the moment he took a look at it with his flashlight passed through to the entire crew of Matveyev in moments and almost no one could believe it despite the pictures that they took of her, at least it looked like a she if anyone was to be a judge.

The thought that crossed everyone’s mind was that it must be some sort of telepathic trick, since everyone was suspecting from the beginning that the ship was a Loroi vessel, the only known telepathic race according to the Orgus. Their understandable paranoia wasn’t helped by the fact that the alien managed to stab him, her knife piercing his space suit and stabbing him in the abdomen. All of this without any warning by her or provocation by the Private’s part.

Thankfully some sort of diplomatic officer must have taken charge and stopped the fighting before it started in earnest; the marines being moments away before requesting emergency extraction. Now as Lieutenant Allerberger met that diplomat everyone hoped that the situation would be resolved peacefully in order to get some answers.

“That is as surprised as you can get.” Captain Asteios commented when he saw the reaction of the Loroi diplomat when the Lieutenant activated his suit’s internal light. The Loroi, Mizol Torimor Shadowcloud as she introduced herself, quickly composed herself as the Lieutenant recited the speech they had all carefully memorized, with the impromptu but necessary addition in the end.

“Captain, this must be a telepathic trick.” Private Hood, the marine who was tending to his wounded comrade and the knocked out Loroi commented in the open channel the marine boarding party had with the ship. He nearly sighed when he saw the marine’s name and rank tag but he refrained from doing so when he remembered a small but very important detail.

“We are seeing the same picture you are seeing Private, unless their telepathy can also affect computers we have to conclude that they indeed look like that.” Private Jeremy Hood wasn’t really a private; that was a temporary rank only for the duration of this mission. He was a marine 2nd lieutenant; a graduate from the 2158 class of the West Point military academy who had immediately applied for TCA duty. He was one of the thousands of officers from all human nations that did so after the first contact with the Orgus refugees and the grim news of the approaching interstellar war that they brought with them.

Normally the TCA wouldn’t be able to accommodate all of these applicants but everyone knew what was coming and the military buildup that would precede it. Hood and the thousands of young officers like him were welcomed with open arms as the officer core of an expanded TCA Marine Corps begun to form. For the moment everyone joked that the Marines had more Lieutenants than Privates but no one kidded themselves by believing that the privates and other non commissioned personnel wouldn’t soon follow.

One of the benefits of this officer buildup was that it offered an excellent pool of highly educated and disciplined candidates for the contact mission. All of the twenty marines on Matveyev were commissioned officers despite the temporary ranks that they carried just for this mission; as a rule of thumb the privates were either 2nd lieutenants or lieutenants, the Sergeants Captains and Lieutenant Allerberger was a Major.

At the moment Captain Asteios was glad that he had only officers aboard the Loroi ship and not a team of regular jarheads.

“We are not familiar with humaniti. What is your nation’s alignment in our conflict with the Umiak hierarchy?” The Loroi diplomat asked after some thought, bringing his attention back to her.

“Humanity wishes to remain neutral in the conflict between the Loroi Union and the Umiak hierarchy but it is our understanding that neither side of this war respects the right of neutrality for third parties.” Lieutenant Allerberger replied immediately with one of the many diplomatically acceptable responses that everyone in the contact mission had memorized.

“That is correct, the Loroi Union believes that it is the duty of all friendly nations to provide aid in this war of extermination that the Umiak have launched against us.” The Loroi diplomat said with a stone cold façade.

We saw that extermination on our way here you cold blooded bitch. Captain Asteios thought at that.

“Our government also doesn’t tolerate any nation that collaborates with our enemies and profits with the deaths of our people while hiding behind a veil of hypocritical neutrality.” The Loroi added, almost as an afterthought.

Is that your reasoning? He wanted to ask, to see if that stony expression would crack and he was certain that this thought also passed through Allerberger’s mind.

“You said that you came in peace and that you wish to remain neutral?” The Loroi said before the lieutenant could reply.

“That is correct.”

“If what you say is true, then why are you still hiding yourselves from us?” The Loroi asked and Captain Asteios’s screen flickered slightly as if itself was surprised with what the Loroi said.

“What do you mean? We attempted every conceivable way to communicate with you, hails on all radio frequencies, attempting to find a still intact windowed compartment, interfacing with the ship’s systems; even banging on the ship’s hull as we installed an airlock in order to safely enter your ship.” Lieutenant Allerberger replied defensively after overcoming his surprise.

“You misunderstood me, it is widely known that we Loroi are a telepathic race; one of our telepathic skills is the ability to sense advanced life forms from long distances. We did not sense you as you approached the ship, we cannot even sense you as you stand here in front of us. Had we been able to do so; we would have activated our radio systems to contact you and avoid this whole mess.” The Loroi said, her stony expression remaining the same as if her face was frozen solid.

“I…I assure you that we are not doing anything to hide ourselves from you.” The Lieutenant replied.

“Only a very small number of us, the strongest and most skilled telepaths, are able to fully mask themselves telepathically with what we call a Lotai. You are now in front of me, telling me that you are not doing anything with your Lotai. We find that hard to believe.” The Loroi pressed with the same, unchanged expression.

“This is the first time we have heard of this ability, this Lotai.” The Lieutenant replied immediately.

“Then there is our apparent physical similarity, I don’t know how you look beneath your space suit but your face looks the same as a male Loroi’s and your body build is seemingly identical to ours as well. Our enemies had devised and attempted numerous tricks in the past in order to fool us and we can’t help but believe that our similarity and your Lotai are just one more such trick.” The Loroi said accusingly.

“We are not Umiak agents, we haven’t even come in contact with them yet.” The Lieutenant said defensively.

“Perhaps, but I have to let you know that we still have more than enough anti matter missiles to scuttle this ship, something that we are prepared and willing to do if anyone tries to wrestle control of it from us.” The Loroi diplomat said, shocking the lieutenant into temporary silence.

Not only are we physically similar but we actually have a natural anti telepathic ability. No wonder they were jumpy. Captain Asteios thought before the realization hit him. The Orgus said that the Mannadi, the other race that the Loroi completely annihilated, also had such an ability.

“Perhaps you should look at this from our perceptive.” Lieutenant Allerberger begun. “How do we know that this physical similarity is not a telepathic trick from your part? Castaway and attractive females in distress, telepaths should be able to see how effective this would be against us in an instant.”

“What are you doing lieutenant?” Captain Asteios practically yelled at his console but the lieutenant didn’t have enough time to reply before the Loroi diplomat burst into laughter. “What the…” He muttered before realizing that the diplomat wasn’t alone as laughter echoed throughout the ship and even the alarmed Loroi the marines run into first laughed heartily.

“That is the most…” The Loroi diplomat begun to say as she tried to control herself. “Ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”

“Just answering absurdity with absurdity.” Lieutenant Allerberger replied to more than one recipients.

Chapter 4, part 2: viewtopic.php?p=18689#p18689

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Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:43 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
atreids5 wrote:
For years i am coming back to this site like a masochist expecting a new page from arioch and i am always disapointed :( . You sir with your well written fanfic restored my faith in the Loroi universe.


Thanks, I know that masochist feeling but I have only been doing so for a couple of months :P

Quote:
I will only say this write faster. :P


All good things take their time :P

However the Orthodox Christian Easter is coming and I will have a few days off from work, I hope that I will have some free time to invest in the story.

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Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:47 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 4, part 2

“Castaway attractive females in distress!” Thunderspear’s trademark laughter transferred easily in Sanzai and the worse part was that she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t control herself from flooding everything with telepathic laughter. “And they are looking exactly like males!”

Shadowcloud blamed herself for the outbreak, since she was the one who couldn’t control herself and burst out into laughter when the humaniti said that; to her self-defense out of everything she expected to hear that one never crossed her mind.

“Mizol! Ask them if they want us to get shorter and wait for them to put on some bright and shiny armors as well!” Thunderspear joked again and Shadowcloud barely stopped herself from bursting into laughter again.

“Damn it Thunderspear, keep it to yourself until I am done talking with them!” Shadowcloud yelled telepathically and the laughter, both telepathic and vocal, quickly died out although she could easily hear some restrained giggles from the warriors at her end of the corridor.

“It sounds absurd doesn’t it?” She asked the humaniti as she studied him with a less suspicious eye. It wasn’t accurate to describe him as looking exactly like a Loroi male; there was the height and the slightly pinkish skin color to consider; and that’s before the rougher edges and the preliminary signs of aging on his face. His hair, if he had any, was covered by some short of protective cloth.

“Yes it does.” The alien replied.

She had to give him some credit for his apparent cool demeanor and quick thinking; nearly all of the first contacts that the Loroi had were met with suspicion when the other species realized the Loroi telepathic gifts. More so the species who had heard of their gifts through the ever exaggerated rumors that had spread like wildfire. If this was indeed a first contact it was one of the later ones with more than a handful extenuating circumstances attached to it.

As a Mizol she knew more than anyone that their telepathy, alongside their warrior nature, was one of the regular causes of friction with aliens and would be still be a great hindrance to diplomacy if Greyhair, an ancient Mizol diplomat, hadn’t come up with a solution by introducing a simple telepathic demonstration to show the alien diplomats what Loroi telepathy could and could not do. Her problem at the moment was that the demonstration in question would be too lengthy and she would have to come to the bottom of this quickly.

“Your... concerns are understandable. Our telepathy has been the cause of some misunderstandings with alien species, even ones who are now our trusted allies. I understand your reluctance to believe us, especially taking into account our apparent physical similarity. I have to ask however, do you honestly believe that we would devise such a trick?”

The reason as to why the diplomatic affairs were left exclusively to the Mizol was the simple fact that only they had the necessary history and grit for them. Every Loroi could feel and read the surface thoughts of aliens just by being near them, that didn’t mean however that they would be able to form a clear picture as to the alien’s intentions and outlook just from them. Someone would have to trigger the true, deep seated, thoughts every sentient species kept bottled inside them to come to the surface. The only way to do that was to talk to the aliens in such a way that they wouldn’t have a choice but to bring their true intentions to the surface. Out of all the warrior castes only the Mizol had the necessary vocal traditions and inclinations. That however was only half of the truth.

“Honestly I don’t believe so; I fail to see a reason as to why one in your position would do something like that. However you are the second species that we have come in contact with and the stories we have heard about you from the first don’t paint you in a favorable light.” The humaniti replied.

“And who might that species be?” Shadowcloud asked expecting to hear the name of any of the Hierarchy’s subjugated species.

“The Orgus.”

“We are not familiar with them.” The simple answer made her realize the game the humaniti was playing even if it was just a waste of time.

“Neither were they with you, their space was at the other side of Umiak space.”

“Was?” A simple exchange with the minimal amount of information passed with the obvious intent to find out if she could really read his thoughts. If that calmed him down then she was willing to tolerate it.

“The Umiak forcefully subjugated them so they could aid in the war effort against you.”

If what the humaniti said was true then a lot of assumptions that she and the rest of the intelligence officers had would fall into place. It was long suspected that the Umiak were quickly expanding on all of their other borders and to supplement that expansion they would launch lengthy propaganda campaigns to sway the native public opinion away from resisting the Umiak occupation and to just tolerate it until the war was over. The thinking behind that theory was that as long as the Umiak were fighting an evil bigger than them it would be best to wait until that evil was destroyed before rising up to shake Umiak control off. If the humaniti was indeed not a Shell trick and they offered tangible proof that this was exactly what the Umiak were doing then the Loroi war effort would be boosted once more, both by adapting to the situation while countering the propaganda and by silencing dissent from allied species and even within the Imperial court itself. That is if humaniti was indeed real.

“Then I hope you understand that whatever the Orgus heard about us and said to you was Umiak designed propaganda and not the real picture of the war.” Shadowcloud replied and the humaniti smiled briefly, perhaps even smugly before replying.

“We humans know the ways of warfare and can clearly see war’s results.”

She nearly cursed herself at that, forgetting for the second time in that exchange the system they were stranded in.

“I am more than prepared to give you our own records of this war’s history provided that our mutual concerns are addressed.” The humaniti, or should she think of it as human, nodded at that.

The other half of the truth as to why the Mizol were given the diplomatic affairs of the Empire was the very nature of the Loroi native to Perrein, the homeplanet of the Mizol. Perrein is a harsh world to live on, for millennia the Loroi there warred onto one and other for resources that would mean the difference between life and death for the many small communities and even the big city states scattered in or around the planet's lush jungles. It was inevitable that when a group would begin to starve that they would lash out and steal from their neighbors or if they had the necessary power they would outright conquer them and take everything for themselves.

The result to this harsh reality was that the numerous relatively small and insular communities would both war on one another and band together when a big city state would become a common threat. This led to the widespread adoption of Lotai by the Perrein warriors and the advent of Perrein’s spoken traditions. It was only natural when today’s ally could become tomorrow’s enemy and vice versa.

The Mizol was the logical evolution of that kind of warfare. Not a unified caste at first but the natural amalgamation of the greatest warriors, the most cunning spies and the shrewdest diplomats. They were the caste that shaped war on Perrein and now they were the caste that kept the Union together in spite of the stupidity the other castes regularly showed and practiced.

Now as she looked at the human in front of her she couldn’t help but remember the final trial of her diral group. The 50 under her would have to make a choice about which of the two guides that were presented to them they would follow. One would lead them to the end of their days as a diral band, the other would bring them back to the beginning of their trials and they would have to be subjected to the same harshness again. Both of the guides were Mizol veterans with perfect Lotais and it was up to her as the leader to find a way to choose the right guide. She swore to herself that she would get to the truth of their current situation just as she got the truth out of those two veterans.

Chapter 4, Part 3: viewtopic.php?p=18735#p18735

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Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:22 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Heh, no one seems to have thought of the Barsam and Nibiren yet...


Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:46 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Whale wrote:
Heh, no one seems to have thought of the Barsam and Nibiren yet...


Remember that well entrenched Loroi chauvinism dictates that they are the descendants of the Soia and as thus they don't have a 'template' species like the Barsam do.

The first 'mention' will be in the next and last part of this chapter, I hope that I will have it posted by Monday.

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Sat Apr 11, 2015 11:54 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
dragoongfa wrote:
Whale wrote:
Heh, no one seems to have thought of the Barsam and Nibiren yet...


Remember that well entrenched Loroi chauvinism dictates that they are the descendants of the Soia and as thus they don't have a 'template' species like the Barsam do.

The first 'mention' will be in the next and last part of this chapter, I hope that I will have it posted by Monday.


I just checked in the comic and the historian AI construct, whose appearance we can guess is based on the actual historian appearance got two four fingered hands. To this and other set of limbs with two fingers or maybe toes but the main hands are four fingered. Human mathematics systems are typically have a base of ten or twenty. Numbering our fingers and including toes for base 20. The loroi use an archaic base eight system despite that they have five fingers on their hands. My guess it is the historians that are the true descendants of the Soia.


Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:44 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Sweforce wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:
Whale wrote:
Heh, no one seems to have thought of the Barsam and Nibiren yet...


Remember that well entrenched Loroi chauvinism dictates that they are the descendants of the Soia and as thus they don't have a 'template' species like the Barsam do.

The first 'mention' will be in the next and last part of this chapter, I hope that I will have it posted by Monday.


I just checked in the comic and the historian AI construct, whose appearance we can guess is based on the actual historian appearance got two four fingered hands. To this and other set of limbs with two fingers or maybe toes but the main hands are four fingered. Human mathematics systems are typically have a base of ten or twenty. Numbering our fingers and including toes for base 20. The loroi use an archaic base eight system despite that they have five fingers on their hands. My guess it is the historians that are the true descendants of the Soia.


The problem with the finger approach on the base number is that it isn't exactly accurate; it's best described as a rule of thumb that has yet to prove itself and if we look at the mathematical systems humans have used in the past and present, then things get really complicated.

Let me give some examples:

The ancient Summerians used a sexagecimal system, with it's base number being 60. The Babylonians adopted it and now our time measurement system is based on both the sexagecimal and duodecimal systems.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexagesimal

The dozenal or duodecimal system:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duodecimal

Which even now has widespread use and it's base is used when counting (dozen). It's also worth of note that for mathematical and arithmetic purposes the duodecimal is superior to any other system and is easier to learn than the decimal.

And yes, we can count up to 12 with one hand and up to 144 with both hands, here is the way:

Image

Just use you thumb to point at each number and when you reach twelve have the thumb of your other hand point at how many dozens you have counted so far.

Then there is the binary way to finger count which is a total mess:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_binary

It is highly probable that the Soians used numerous base number systems (computer programmers can point out just how many base number systems they use) and the Loroi picked up the one they found everywhere, which would be the octal which we also have in widespread use in order to easily represent the binary system in computer programing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_number_format

EDIT: In my yet incomplete novel the numbering system is duodecimal :P

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Sun Apr 12, 2015 4:35 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
My own blue space elves, the safir, use duodecimal, though I imagine at least some of them used vigesimal (base 20) in the past.

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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
The plot thickens...
But what is

Ask them if they want us to get shorter and wait for them to put on some bright and shiny armors as well

supposed to mean?


Mon Apr 13, 2015 5:02 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
TrashMan wrote:
The plot thickens...
But what is

Ask them if they want us to get shorter and wait for them to put on some bright and shiny armors as well

supposed to mean?


It would (probably) be explained later but since it may take a while to reach that point:

Some required reading:

http://well-of-souls.com/outsider/forum_loroi.html

It's not a joke that a human would pick without having an 'in-depth' knowledge of Loroi society.

To put it short: Loroi males are short and Loroi warriors get first pick. Loroi males are traditionally protected from harm and the females handle all the nasty stuff.

Having someone who looks like a male call them 'attractive and in distress' is absurd for them; since they are the ones who keep the 'attractive' males out of 'distress' and they have to be 'presentable' when they are presented to them. I.e. : She joked if the human male wanted the Loroi females to look and act like males.

EDIT: From a human perceptive the joke would be like having a group of medieval knights dressing and acting like women in order to please an Amazon. Totally absurd and ridiculous for the knights who are expected to do everything to protect women and children but the Amazon would never get it.

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Mon Apr 13, 2015 7:27 am
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