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[Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed) 
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Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:33 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Krulle wrote:
Looking forward to the space fight.

But having gained/rediscovered these techniques does not give the Loroi a new advantage, it just re-etablished their previous advantage.
The advantage they have right now, is that the Umiak might think their new "equipment" works fine and that they trust it too much and become susceptible for traps and ambushes.
But once the Umiak find out that the Loroi can negate this advantage, they might stop installing captive-bred Loroi on their ships and instead try to install a sensor network in an effort to sense what is happening within Loroi territory, thus possibly finding out where most of the ships are produced, supply lines,...
Loroi trade enough that they probably already know this. Also, unless you're talking about the captive-bred Loroi, light-speed lag makes that almost useless.


Wed Feb 03, 2016 8:44 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Telepathy is FTL so the bottleneck wouldn't be there. The problem would be the fact that their farsense range is on average one third of the Loroi Farseers. This would mean that they would need more Farseers, more farsense outposts and pickets while also having less time to organize a fleet for intercept.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Thu Feb 04, 2016 4:17 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 19, part 2

Two heavies, four medium escorts in a quincunx formation with one of the heavies and six gunboats tethered to that heavy and the mediums. Roughly even numbers and capabilities all things considered; the problem was the human scout ship that was with them.

“If the humans are friendly with us and will soon become our allies, what is one of their ships doing with the Shells, Mizol?” Torrai Mazeit Saber asked.

“As I already explained to you, their mission was to come in contact with either us or the Shells. After that they would bring a diplomatic representative to their relay ship for negotiations.” Shadowcloud replied while cursing the fact that she couldn’t sense what the Torrai had in her mind.

“So that’s one of their ships doing exactly that…” The Torrai said out loud as if she was thinking about it as she said it. A mannerism that humans used all too often and one that immediately crept into everyone’s mannerisms after being forced to work under a jamming field for so long. “And why shouldn’t I blow their ship up alongside the Shells since they are now openly associating themselves with them?”

“Because they are not a threat to this squadron and because their comrades brought everyone from Silverspear and the cargo they helped us secure to the rendezvous point.” Shadowcloud replied, wondering if the Torrai was trying to joke by pointing out the obvious or if she really wanted an excuse to kill anyone who associated themselves with Shells.

“Wouldn’t be much of a kill anyway!” The Torrai said out loud and laughed, making Shadowcloud to curse herself for not realizing that the Torrai just wanted everyone in the squadron to hear why the human ship shouldn’t be targeted. An easy and discreet way to avoid certain mistakes from happening during the heat of battle.

“Does this mean that you will attack then?” Shadowcloud asked.

“Of course! The squadron has done nothing but stare at empty space while shooting up rocks for almost eight nanapis; all the while waiting for something to happen and now the Shells have finally deigned us with fresh targets that have just jumped in system.” The Torrai said in an obviously exaggerated, almost comical, manner before turning to face the two Mizols that were on the bridge. “Unless you Mizols want to let them pass by.”

“From a diplomatic perceptive it would be prudent to ensure that no Shell diplomat reaches the humans.” Shadowcloud replied.

“I agree with the Mizol Torimor.” Mizol Parat Clearsky added.

“What is this? Mizols saying that it is okay to kill Shells for diplomatic reasons?” The Torrai commented with the same exaggerated voice. “I now have the nasty suspicion that there is still hope for your caste!”

“Killing Shells is always a prudent action, regardless of diplomacy.” Shadowcloud added.

“There are two Shells alive on my ship you know.” Saber pointed out.

“Those are mine for later, the dozen boatloads are all yours to do as you wish.”

“For all your faults you Mizols do have a way with spoken words!” Saber said with a laugh.

“Somebody has to do it. Never know when talking might be really useful.” Shadowcloud replied.

“Now then, do me a favor and have your farseer drop the jamming field; We got Shells to kill and I want to do that as a proper Loroi.” The Torrai said and in turn Shadowcloud nodded to Clearsky who immediately typed in the necessary commands on her holographic console.

The rush of being able to freely use telepathy after so many days was overwhelming even to her while everyone on Dark Guardian’s bridge let out a telepathic sigh of relief that immediately cascaded into completely undisciplined telepathic chatter. Undisciplined chatter that was immediately drowned away by the angry telepathic shout of Torrai Mazeit Saber.

“This ain’t a diral and we got Shells to kill!” The Torrai added for emphasis and proper telepathic discipline was quickly established once again; taking that as a queue to leave, she walked to the back of the bridge and sat down at the couch available for any observers.

She was never assigned to a warship but she knew the drill in regards to combat protocol. She could personally convene with the Torrai and even give certain orders but when it came to battle she was an outsider. Parat Clearsky was Dark Guardian’s intelligence officer and through that she was the lead Mizol of this picket squadron. As a Torimor she did outrank every other Mizol in caste matters and the authority granted to them by the admiralty but certain boundaries had to be respected in the same ways that she demanded of others when they intruded in her tasks. Combat was one such boundary and Shadowcloud knew from firsthand experience the damage outside interference could cause in the heat of battle.

She smiled when she saw Saber sitting at her own console, usually that’s a sign of either an inexperienced commander or even worse, an inexperienced bridge crew but she knew that this wasn’t the case from just the brief time she had been aboard the battlecruiser. Saber was a meticulous planner who spent every free moment in drilling her squadron in quite demanding simulated battles. Such extensive training when time permitted was the reason why she was a successful Tenoin flight leader in the early stages of the war; the same stages that saw Tenoin pilots massacred en mass, the few who survived those battles being either exceptionally lucky or exceptionally gifted. Saber was mostly the later although luck certainly favored her a few times.

Dark Guardian at quick for action!” The Tenoin executive officer bellowed, the ship’s systems carrying her voice throughout the ship, as the squadron dashed ahead at full acceleration; leaving behind the squadron’s remaining courier ship, the tanker and transport vessel assigned to it for its long mission. All three ships kept using the gas giant for cover while the warships darted ahead to intercept the Shell ships that had just jumped in system.

The mission of the picket squadrons that were positioned throughout former Tithric space and the charred steppes was to both provide advanced warning and monitoring of enemy movements and to launch hit and run raids against Shell support vessels and even the remnants of the various assault fleets after the fast attack groups and the defense fleets were done with them. For logistical reasons the Shells seldom attacked through this area but that didn’t mean that the squadrons posted here weren’t more than prepared to fulfill their mission. Dark Guardian, a Vanguard class battlecruiser was the flagship of this particular squadron which was comprised of it, two Scimitar Mk3 heavy cruisers and five Warhammer class destroyers. All eight ships offered an impressive array of firepower backed by the great acceleration and nimbleness that their classes were known for.

Shadowcloud couldn’t do anything but stare at the bridge encompassing holographic display, which covered most of the bridge’s ceiling and walls, in order to see everything as it unfolded. The sight of it, as it depicted everything that happened around the ship always amazed her no matter how many times she witnessed it. Some did see it as an unnecessary extravagance while others said that it was an immense help to those in command to see the action as if they were the eyes and ears of the ship. She didn’t have any opinion on the matter but in this instance she was glad to be able to observe the battle as it unfolded in such a way.

She focused on the large holographic window which showed a zoomed in view of the small Shell flotilla, the lone Heavy ship which looked a lot like the one they got their prisoners from immediately catching her eye. She had wondered why the Shells would use such a ship to host a farseer and being honest with herself she wasn’t really convinced with what the Shell captain believed. Truly the ship was configured to have an extended range, a large complement of Hard-Troops and the four assault shuttles necessary for boarding; all of which amounting to a great long range patrol ship aimed to police civilian trade routes without any fear but she thought that such a class of ship was overkill for such a meager mission.

Multiple medium vessels, each with a detachment of Hard-Troops would be faster, cover more space at the same and could even be cheaper to produce while only having one of them carry a farseer if the mission planners really believed that a farseer would be necessary for such a mission. Furthermore such a heavy had no torpedoes or missiles, relying only on a handful of plasma focus weapons for protection which were already overkill for civilian patrol missions. If the Shells wanted they could put on some Morat particle blasters, less expensive and offered potentially greater firepower for such a mission. The saving graces of that ship class are its heavy armor and screens which were useless against civilian freighters to begin with. Unless the plasma focus weapons and the heavy defenses weren’t there for civilians but to protect the ship and its contents from proper warships.

She thought that perhaps these ships are meant to hunt down fleeing civilians with military escort, akin to the emergency evacuations of the Seren sector early in the war. Such a specialization isn’t beyond the Shells and that would explain the extra range and Hard-Troops as well. This didn’t convince her either and kept thinking about it until the realization finally dawned on her.

The whole purpose of the ships is to carry farseers, everything else was deliberate misinformation meant to hide the fact from the Mizol caste. The farseer carrier classes she had seen so far could only be described as long range heavy patrol ships and fast medium blockade runners, if a Mizol learned of the construction or even refitting of such ships through interrogation she would never realize that they were meant to act as farseer carriers from the descriptions that the hapless Shells would give. Despite the extensive breeding programs that the Shells are running it is certain that they have a limited number of farseers at their disposal and thus it is logical that they would want to protect these limited assets to the best of their abilities. In order to protect these assets they would need specialized ships that are either heavily armored or so fast that they are able to outrun everything. The heavies are not part of a quincunx formation or even have gunboat tethers because they are not meant to fight in a battle but their size and armor means that they will be able to survive on their own should they be attacked while their long range and heavy class speed means that they can keep up with fleet movements for an extended amount of time without the need to refuel. The ultrafast mediums would act more like farsense pickets and emergency support in case something happened to the attached heavies while they would rely on their speed to keep themselves out of an enemy's gun sights. It is certain that the Shells have many more such weirdly specialized classes that wouldn’t draw attention should a Mizol learn of their construction and this must be the whole purpose of these classes, to hide the fact that these ships are meant to carry farseers and thus making them secondary targets in fleet battles. Horrified she recalled a human saying she heard while on Matveyev 'Don’t fight an enemy too often, or you will teach them all your art of war'. They have been fighting the Shells for so long that they have managed to find ways to hide such sensitive information from even the Mizol until it was too late.

The Shells know that they needed to hide their pet farseers for as long as possible and they took the measures necessary to do so. They know that the Loroi farsense is what gives the outnumbered Loroi fleets a key advantage and they know of the Union’s internal tensions as well as their own. The Shells need a clear and overwhelming victory to win this war and the combination of their new Lotai and Farsense would allow them to catch the Loroi interdiction, defensive and reserve fleets out of position and by complete surprise.

They would throw everything they could against Loroi defenses but such a major offensive would demand extensive logistical preparations and support, allowing the Mizol to predict such an attack even without farsense. That would leave the standing Shell fleets near the steppes, easily more than a thousand ships if the latest estimates she had seen were accurate, a larger number than usual but part of the course when a large number of their ships start suffering from declining efficiency and are rotated for an attack as their replacements take defensive stations.

With farsense even a thousand Shell ships would be cut piecemeal by the defensive and reserve fleets while the interdiction fleets would harass them and their logistical support to no end. Without farsense however… She pushed those thoughts aside, hoping that high command would find a way to make due if the emergency recall was a sign that such an offensive was already underway.

She got instantly perplexed when she saw the cruisers peel off the formation, each of them followed by a single destroyer; each pair rushing upwards and downwards relative to the main formation while the Shell flotilla had already turned towards an intercept vector after leaving the lone human ship behind.

She didn’t know much about space tactics but she thought that it was common sense not to divide one’s forces when the enemy had equal numbers with one’s own. It would only lead to the enemy concentrating their firepower on a single sub-formation while one’s own firepower would instead be divided between all sub-formations.

The Shell formation steadied up its intercept on a course that would allow them to intercept Dark Guardian’s sub-formation, the Shell commander obviously believing that the lone battlecruiser and its three destroyer escorts were targets that would shift the balance of power in its favor if they were destroyed first.

Shadowcloud easily sensed the smug satisfaction Torrai Mazeit Saber felt when the Shells launched the torpedo barrage which was closely accompanied by the six gunboats; the standard tactic that would allow them to come in range just as the torpedoes would be on their final approach.

Saber responded to this development by having her own sub-formation completely cut off their acceleration while the other two minor sub-formations pointed their bows to the Shell flotilla while still under full acceleration, a maneuver that when added with the momentum they already had would give their formation a parabolic like trajectory above and below the Shell formation as it would pass between them while racing to get to Dark Guardian’s sub-formation.

A few solons later Saber’s sub-formation begun launching its own torpedoes while dozens more which were left drifting idle at the wake of the other two sub-formations lit up their engines one after the other, all of them seemingly aiming to strike the Shell formation at the same time in order to overwhelm their point defense systems. The Shells immediately responded to this stratagem by having their own acceleration completely cut off.

As if waiting for that Saber’s sub-formation stopped launching torpedoes and instead all four ships pivoted and presented their sterns to the enemy before bringing their engines to full acceleration, using them to break the momentum they built before. For an instant Shadowcloud thought that the Torrai was insane as she clearly sensed a sense of victory from her as all four ships presented their vulnerable rear to the quickly approaching torpedoes and gunboats.

That was when the two heavy cruisers opened fire with their pulse cannons as the Shells got in range, to her surprise all four beams hit the lead Shell heavy from above and below. That was when this part of Saber’s plan revealed itself to her, all ships offered both a minimal target to the enemy and their strongest screens and armor when their bows faced the enemy. However if one attacks from above or below not only do they see a far bigger target but they also face less screen and armor protection. Saber wanted her two heavy cruisers to get these kinds of shots and she used her own flagship as bait to do that. The Shells cutting off the acceleration of their main formation to avoid the worse of the Loroi torpedo barrage also offered a greater window of opportunity for the cruisers to exploit.

The two cruisers fired a second volley, all four beams hitting the ship again followed immediately by secondary explosions as the screens and armor failed but the heavy kept going forward seemingly unfazed by the damage it took. A few moments after that Saber’s sub-formation cut off its breaking maneuver and pivoted again at the spot just when the Shell torpedoes begun their final approach to their targets while the gunboats were still some distance away. Point defense lasers fired in unison from all four ships while they all fired their AMM missiles as fast as their launchers allowed.
Shadowcloud knew that this wasn’t the regular deluge of torpedoes since there wasn’t a dedicated torpedo carrier in the Shell flotilla but was nevertheless surprised with how quickly all of the torpedoes were neutralized, leaving all six gunboats without the distraction they offered or the imminent fire support of the main force that had lagged further behind. Shadowcloud knew how dangerous the gunboats were in close range but she also knew that their purpose was to disrupt the defensive formation in order to allow their parent ships clear vectors of attack without having to face coordinated defensive fire. This combined with the initial torpedo barrage was usually enough to allow the main force to get in plasma focus range without suffering heavy casualties but she now realized that Saber’s plan was from the beginning aimed to cripple this standard Shell tactic.

Saber’s forces had launched their torpedoes in such a way that they would all strike at the same time had the Shell kept their course and acceleration. The Shell commander knowing that their point defense capabilities weren’t enough to stop all of the torpedoes from such engagement envelopes and in such limited time chose to cut off the acceleration of their main force in order to allow their PD systems far better chances as the Loroi torpedoes would come in range piecemeal. This maneuver should have allowed them to stay close enough to their torpedo and gunboat strike to exploit them but Saber’s breaking maneuver extended that time by several dozen solons.

This maneuver not only broke the combined timing of the enemy’s torpedo and gunboat strikes by having their travel time extended for a few more solons, thus forcing the gunboats to lag further behind the faster accelerating torpedoes but also left the Shell force open to concentrated defensive fire since the initial strikes inevitably failed in their task as all six gunboats were torn apart by defensive blaster fire and kinetic strikes from AMM missiles.

The battlecruiser’s eight pulse cannons all fired in unison at the wounded heavy, half of them scoring clear hits on it which were enough for it to be engulfed in a gratifying antimatter explosion when its reactors blew up. In turn the two heavy cruisers fired again at the second heavy vessel, scoring four clear hits on it that overloaded its screen projectors and without them it didn’t have any hopes to survive the barrage of particle blasters from the battlecruiser and the three destroyers the moment the Shell formation got into particle blaster range.

The four mediums were left alone to face one more barrage of particle beams before they could get in plasma focus range and Saber didn’t take any chance with them; choosing to launch one blister torpedo which darted ahead and deployed its cargo of 60 AMM warheads just after the blaster barrage knocked out one of the mediums while severely damaging two more. The kinetic warheads finished off the two crippled mediums and pulverized the last one just as it fired a plasma focus on Dark Guardian, the ship shaking slightly from the impact but the screens and the armor must have taken the brunt of the strike as Shadowcloud didn’t pick up any telepathic reports of damage.

Dark Guardian stand down from action!” The Tenoin executive officer bellowed and Shadowcloud could easily sense the jubilation everyone felt for what was a flawless victory.

“Congratulations on your victory Torrai Mazeit Saber.” Shadowcloud sent as she walked up to the Torrai who had yet to stand up from her station.

“It would have been perfect if that last one hadn’t scratched my ship!” The Torrai replied in agitation.

“I don’t know much about space battles but I think that this was quite an unorthodox engagement from your part.” Shadowcloud commented.

“Something that I have been working on since my Tenoin days. Why extend the engagement time by flying around the Shells like we are scared instead of having them come onto our waiting guns like the empty husks they are? Their tactics are all meant to distract our fire, the tricks I had my squadron practice are meant to make them irrelevant.” Saber explained.

“Understandable, I noticed that you didn’t launch any interceptors for point defense duties.” Shadowcloud added.

“Didn’t see a reason, the destroyers were more than enough to handle the torpedoes. Things would be different if there were more Shell ships though.” Saber replied.

“I also noticed that your gunners were very accurate as well.”

“I wouldn’t have tried this if I didn’t trust them to do their jobs properly. I also made sure that they would get some practice the last few nanapis. You will be surprised how accurate one can get after shooting at rocks and comets in battle speeds.” The Torrai then looked at a blinking icon on her console before continuing. “The human ship is slowing down and… we just received a transmission from them.”

“That was quick.” Shadowcloud commented. “I will handle this since I have experience with their kind.” She sent to both Saber and Clearsky, both Loroi nodding in response. “Let’s see it.”

“This is Captain Mall of the ECS-102 Pellew to the Loroi Union warships. We are on a mission of diplomatic contact by the Terran Colonial Authority on behalf of the six worlds of humanity. We are not aligned with the Umiak Hierarchy nor do we wish to fight you.” The image of the human male froze in place as his message ended. He had similar age signs showing but this one had darker skin pigmentation than that of Captain Asteios, probably because he belonged to a different human race, perhaps Middle Eastern or Indian if she was to be a judge. It was obvious that he was trying to control his anxiety as he spoke, understandable considering what he had just witnessed while knowing that the Loroi Union didn’t look favorably to Shell accomplishes.

“I would expect them to surrender after seeing their friends getting blown up.” Saber commented as she in turn studied the human male that looked abnormal in her eyes.

“They are under orders to scuttle their ships by using their fusion torpedoes if someone attempts to capture them.” Shadowcloud replied.

“Figures after everything they must have heard. I just hoped that we could scare them a little.”

“There is no need to even get close to them.” Shadowcloud replied before turning to Clearsky. “Is the farseer detecting any Shells on the human ship?”

“No, she detects nothing.” Clearsky replied after checking her console.

“Okay then, start recording the reply when I give you the signal.” Shadowcloud said as she mentally prepared her response. “Now.”

“This is Mizol Torimor Shadowcloud aboard the Loroi Union warship Dark Guardian. We are aware of your mission and the fact that the Terran Colonial Authority is not aligned with the Hierarchy. Due to a need of outmost secrecy we cannot provide you with an escort or a diplomatic representative for you to bring back to your relay vessel. My suggestion to you is to return to your relay ship in order to report what has happened here as your leaders will be aware of the implicated development. Be advised that your systems are susceptible to Hierarchy designed malware due to the Orgus software that you have adapted for your use. We do not detect any Hierarchy presence in the area that would complicate your return but I advise you to take measures to alter the identity of your ship in order for your government to deny any knowledge of what happened here should another scout bring another Hierarchy representative before proper diplomatic relations with the Union can be facilitated. Knowing the Shells they may have not divulged to you our physical similarity in which case I assure you that we Loroi do look like this and that this is not a telepathic trick. If you have any questions please ask them now before light speed lag makes communications awkward.” Shadowcloud said and telepathically signaled Clearsky that she was finished.

“You Mizols talk a lot.”
Saber commented with a chuckle.

“I have considered the possibility of letting a Teidar do the talking next time.” Shadowcloud commented.

“I would renounce my male visitation privileges for a Tozon to witness that!” Saber commented as she burst into laughter.

“That would indeed be a sight to behold.” Shadowcloud agreed before turning her attention to the seemingly motionless human ship in the distance. “I find it odd that the Shells didn’t try to take over that ship the moment they realized that the Humans have a Lotai.”

“A species that looks a lot like us and has a natural Lotai? I would consider boarding them myself and I would do it if I knew about the new Shell trick.” Saber commented. “The Mizol would probably want to talk to them first though.”

“Depends on the Mizol.”
Shadowcloud commented. “The Shells that attacked the humans that brought us here thought that the humans were telepaths. They attacked them in order to both protect their secret and learn as much as they could about them.”

“Yes, the mythical template species of ours whose mere existence would destroy the lies that we have been saying since we have drawn breath.” Saber commented with easily felt derision but Shadowcloud ignored her.

“But the human Lotai is a threat to the Shells as well now and knowing the way they think I find it odd that they would just play along with the diplomatic farce.”

“Maybe the Shells thought that the humans would blow themselves up when boarded and about to be overwhelmed. We do it, the Shells do it, it isn’t much of a stretch for the Shells to work with such an assumption and just try to get as much information about the humans as possible peacefully. Personally I would put as many Hard-Troops as I could on the ‘escorts’ and have them board the relay ship.” Saber replied.

“There is that possibility as well.”
Shadowcloud agreed.

“Torimor Shadowcloud, the humans have sent a reply.” Clearsky informed her.

“This one is quick. Let’s see what they have to say.”

“Mizol Torimor Shadowcloud, I assume that you have met another scout ship and that ship has been allowed to return to the relay ship so I will be brief. The Hierarchy has disclosed to us the physical similarity that our species have and has insinuated that this very similarity is some short of religious anathema for your people and that our very existence as a species is under threat due to this. They have also provided a recording which shows a Loroi warship obliterating the remains of a scout ship that it had destroyed in order to negate the Hierarchy from taking control of the remains. I am attaching the recording to this message and I am awaiting for your reply.” The human captain said with the same anxiety painted on his face.

“Is there a recording attached?”
Shadowcloud asked Clearsky.

“Yes.”

“Play it.”


A second holographic window opened next to the frozen image of captain Mall and it showed a recording of a Vortex class command ship launching an antimatter torpedo at the broken remainsthat were evidently those of a human scout ship. The resulting anti matter explosion leaving absolutely no trace of them.

“Isn’t Tempest the only remaining Vortex class ship?”
Saber asked.

“Yes and it is commanded by Torrai Lashret Stillstorm.”

“She is a hero.” Saber pointed out.

“And partially broken inside.” Shadowcloud added.

“That’s…” Saber begun to rebuke but stopped herself when she remember something. “…an accurate description of her.”

“Have you met her?” Shadowcloud asked.

“Twice in person. She… changed after the Tasinei Ways.”


“I have never come across her but I know that she is closely monitored and not only for her outspoken political opinions. She should know of these arrangements but I don’t know if that’s enough for her to show some necessary self-restraint as others do.”
Shadowcloud commented.

“What are you going to say to the humans?”


“The truth.” Shadowcloud replied and signaled Clearsky to start recording her reply.

“Captain Mall, unfortunately things are far more complicated than what the Hierarchy has led you to believe but this doesn’t mean that we Loroi will seek to harm your species for our physical similarity and any other issues. We cannot linger here to explain everything but I assure you that your superiors should by now be aware of all the issues involving you and the fact that we Loroi do not attack anyone unless provoked by them. Although no Loroi trusts anything that the Hierarchy says I give you my word of honor that an investigation will be launched when we return to port, the results of which will be made available to your diplomats.”

Chapter 20, part 1: viewtopic.php?p=23081#p23081

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Sun May 08, 2016 7:17 pm, edited 27 times in total.



Tue Feb 16, 2016 5:47 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
I will admit, I was a lazy git for a few days and that's why this part was late.

I will see if I can make up for it the next week.

In any case. Three parts left.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Tue Feb 16, 2016 5:50 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Spoiler: show
dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 19, part 2
[edit] removed my proposals as you already corrected it all by the time of this edit [/edit]

As non-native a few things struck me oddly, and I proposed changes there. You may find that your version is correct, and I am in no position to tell you otherwise. At best I am giving suggestions, and you should ignore me wherever you feel like it.
I also use British Spelling, which you should definitely ignore, however much it annoys me...
I just hate the BBphp [colour] tag which does not work...


Wow,... just... WOW.

Also very nice to have added in Alex' Bellarmine incident.

Really, I love your story.
Thank you!

Now, if Arioch had such writing skills, the story would have moved much faster forward in a novel form. But then, the story may have moved so fast that you wouldn't have thought about putting this story here, and I would've missed this story.
I don't know what I want right now: Arioch moving his story forward at an increased speed (as I love stories more than page by page of a well-made comic), or whether he should just speed up a tiny bit (say 2 pages a month on average), so that you're still getting bored and writing more of your fanfic....
I cannot decide...


Also: lazy git? You?
This was a pretty long part. Included a full battle. Included a lot of story. Included wonderful references to the "canon story" of outsider.
If Outsider ever gets a printed version, I want this story in as an extra.

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Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Wed Feb 17, 2016 2:37 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
I can gleefully announce that the manuscript is now finished.

Almost 1 and a half kilograms of A4 paper, ink, staples, slides and a plastic folder.

All of this means that the Monday anniversary will hold a special triplet as a surprise.

The entries aren't short ones either.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Fri Feb 19, 2016 4:51 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Whoo!
And monday is one of my free days this month too!

:)

Also, congrats!

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Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Fri Feb 19, 2016 5:32 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 20, part 1

He liked being back on Earth, even if that came with the baggage of being confined in a low security military prison; it was far better than the near total isolation he had been through back on Mars’s and Earth’s orbits. The routine was easy to get into while the open air did wonders for his mood; the frequent visits from his family were the best part however and he enjoyed those immensely. In fact they were probably the reason as to why he had been in such a good mood for the first time after his ‘arrest’. He had a visitor again but this time it wasn’t his wife or any other family member; as a matter of fact he knew that the records would later show that he had no visitors that day.

“Sir!” Captain Asteios said as he stood at attention next to the bench that his visitor was sitting.

“The only reason I tolerate this saluting farce of yours in these circumstances is that I know how much you respect military protocol captain.” Admiral Callan replied as he returned a half assed salute. “After all you boy scouts love bending the rules a little because you are out there while we play dress up.”

“You sim-jockeys are only mad because it’s true.” Captain Asteios joked as he sat down next to the admiral. “For now at least.”

“Indeed…” Admiral Callan replied and stared at the park that expanded in front of them for a few moments. “I still remember how everyone who knows you cried out ‘bullshit’ when the news of Matveyev’s early return and your arrest for gross neglect reached headquarters.”

“The fact is that I did allow that stupid contest where marines and sailors would race each other to see who could carry full shuttle fuel cells from the shuttle bay to engineering the fastest. I didn’t think that they would actually drop them while doing so and that they would both explode as a consequence.” Captain Asteios replied.

“Yes, the fact...” Admiral Callan replied with a laugh before getting serious again. “We can speak freely, no one is eavesdropping.”

“Any news about Utsumi?”

“No, the Loroi claim that they don’t know anything about them so we have to assume that they either mis-jumped or they were also attacked by the bugs and self-destructed to avoid capture.” The admiral replied.

“Two out of four lost…” Captain Asteios commented with a sign.

“We would have lost all four and the tanker if someone hadn’t worked their magic.” The admiral pointed out.

“I knew many of them personally; hell I invited many of them at the baptism of my youngest son.”

“Don’t think that the fleet took their loss lightly captain.” The admiral growled. “I understand how closely knit the scouts are but we are all out there in the black.”

“Aren’t we all…” Captain Asteios replied as he leaned back to look at the bright blue sky.

“Have you read the package I sent you?” The admiral asked after a few moments of silence.

“How many ‘bullshits’ did the brass cry out when they read all that?”

“You can still hear the echo in Hellas Landing.” The admiral joked.

“I can relate to that.”

“So what do you think?” Admiral Callan insisted.

“Think about what? About the cocky ensign or the insane plan the Loroi propose?”

“Both.”

“Figures; why would an admiral come here for if not that?”

“I am not here; I am at the hospital getting a thorough physical.” The admiral joked again.

“Is that so?” Captain Asteios replied and gathered his thoughts before continuing. “I had advised Hamilton not to take raw graduates with him; I told him to take crew that was a known quality instead of greenhorns who didn’t know how it was to be completely alone out there. He argued that he wanted some fresh perspective with him in case he and the old guard missed the obvious. I then reminded him that the Earth is not flat; he always hated that joke about his ship.”

“I thought that he picked them up in order to piss the fleet off.” Admiral Callan commented.

“He told us about that but he would never pick someone to be on his ship if he didn’t believe that they would be of use. He saw in Jardin something that he wanted so he took him aboard Bellarmine.” Captain Asteios replied.

“And it paid off, unless the Loroi are bullshitting us.”

“It is not their style, if they say that Alexander Jardin provided such a great service to them then it’s probably true.” Captain Asteios pointed out.

“Why would the Loroi even bother listening to an alien they suspected from day one, in such sensitive military matters?” The admiral insisted.

“They would have their reasons; desperation probably played a part since they were certainly in a situation in which grasping at straws was a viable strategy. However I have a feeling that internal politics and luck played a huge part in everything, without farsense and the bugs having broken through their lines it would be utter chaos for their very politicized admiralty. They needed a way out and as an outsider ensign Jardin must have had the clear mind to look at the situation calmly and point out the obvious to those who would listen.” Captain Asteios replied.

“Someone important must have listened.”

“Or someone who has the ear of someone important.” Captain Asteios added.

“True and then there is the whole diplomatic thing with the Historians.”

“Torimor Tigomenial said that they knew very little about the Historians. She said that they were allies and that they did provide valuable technology to the Loroi but neither side truly trusted each other. I don’t know what Jardin did but if the Loroi say that his help was crucial in that front then it’s probably the truth.” Captain Asteios replied.

“What was it like having so many good looking elves on your ship for three weeks?”

“Interesting to say the least.” The captain replied.

“Some called you an idiot for doing that you know.”

“Yes I have heard it all from my other visitors, ‘too risky and with no guarantee that they would let us go after dropping them off’.”

“The reports said that they were very impressed with certain cultural products and parts of our history.” The admiral added.

“They liked the Lord of the Rings; Tigomenial said that it reminded them of their own epic legends. They ate up all of the Kurosawa films about Samurai and they were very perplexed when we explained to them that although the stories were realistic, they were still fiction.” The captain replied.

“The way I understand it is that most of their ‘movies’ are documentaries with very little fiction in them.” Admiral Callan commented.

“That’s my understanding as well. After that they were really impressed with our ‘industrial total wars’ as they described them. They described the American civil war as a brawl between amateurs that would have ended far sooner if proper warriors were put in charge, they were nevertheless impressed by the logistics and technology involved. The head turners were the two world wars. They explained that many species had such wars but the combination of early adoption of technology for military use, the industrial scale and the massive battles were unprecedented for such tech levels. The face Tigomenial made when she learned when those wars happened was priceless as well.” The captain continued.

“How old is she again? 262?” Admiral Callan asked.

“Yes, if I remember correctly. She admitted that it was rare for warriors to live that long because of their lifestyle.”

“And she still looks like she is in her late twenties and good late twenties at that.” The admiral commented.

“They naturally live up to 400 looking mostly like that. They do get slightly taller and have longer ears as time passes but otherwise they outwardly stay the same for most of that.”

“Our longevity treatment clinics need to get their heads straight.” The admiral thought out loud.

“I am not complaining, I am almost 70 and I still look like I am in my late 30s.” Captain Asteios commented.

“You are lucky; some are stuck in their 50s.”

“I can see that.” The captain joked, drawing a smirk from the admiral.

“In any case, I take it that she was very impressed with how quickly we progressed technologically.” Admiral Callan continued.

“She and the Listel.”

“Figures, if they had waited a hundred years or so we would probably be able to tell the both of them to fuck off but now…” The admiral sighed at that. “Now we have their insane proposal on the table.”

“I want to ask ensign Jardin if he helped them draft it.” Captain Asteios said at that.

“You and me both. What’s your take on it?”

“They do offer a lot in exchange, that’s for certain.”

“The problem is what they want us to do for them.”

“Knowing that I will spend even more time in prison if it goes ahead, I will admit that the plan is insane enough to work.” Captain Asteios replied.

“Will the bugs fall for it though?”

“They must be desperate ever since their breakthrough was foiled. They need a win to turn that defeat into a war winning advantage.” The captain said out loud.

“True… can we trust the Loroi to keep their end of the bargain though? Or will they hang us out to dry and have two problems solved at the same time?” The admiral asked.

“And that is the question to trump all questions.” Captain Asteios said with a sigh.

“We do have an ace up our sleeve thanks to what you brought back but that’s something that will only work once.” Admiral Callan added.

“The truth of the matter is that the bugs will attack us sooner or later and I believe that we can reason with the Loroi after everything is said and done. If high command wants my advice on the matter, ask to have some insurance provided by their government and see what they offer in turn. They know that we are putting everything on the line and I want to see what they have to lose in case the whole thing goes belly up.”

“That’s what a lot of people have advised…” Admiral Callan said with a sigh and stood up. “I will pass on your recommendation.” He offered his hand at that.

“Thank you for your visit sir.” Captain Asteios said as they shook hands.

“Before I leave, some people have asked if we should start making the names of the systems you explored permanent.”

“I think that we should touch that subject after the world is saved.”

Chapter 20, part 2: viewtopic.php?p=23082#p23082

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Thu May 05, 2016 2:03 pm, edited 7 times in total.



Sun Feb 21, 2016 3:39 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 20, part 2

It and Kt’rkrktkr-48-trkrk had been captured by the enemy. He was ashamed that he couldn’t do anything as the enemy was just too strong. It thought that it had died but it hadn’t, it woke up connected to him while the enemy was near, he begged it to scream and it did as he wished but the enemy was unfazed this time. His mind was groggy and filled with shame, anger and fear which were directed at the enemy and…it!

It was sorry, it did everything it could, it didn’t want to be punished, it didn’t want to be alone again!

It woke up.

It opened its eyes and remembered that it was a she.

It… She was an enemy and… she had been deceived and yet…

She stretched her left arm and studied her hand at the dim morning light that the window let it. She didn’t know that she was supposed to have eyes, how much arms and legs. It had been many… nanapis since the last time she had been connected with Kt’rkrktkr-48-trkrk, after that the enemy removed the equipment that facilitated the connection and then… healed her.

Was she truly an enemy? Were they?

She stood up, walked up to the window and just stared at the sun that rose from beyond the horizon. She didn’t know what she really was anymore, all of the enemies had been truthful to her, she knew that at least. Kt’rkrktkr-48-trkrk was a Shell and he had been her only company for as long as she remembered, he was indispensable to her but now that she remembered everything without being connected to him she remembered that he was never honest to her.

She remembered him teaching her that those who lie are enemies and all enemies of the Hierarchy lie. He had lied to her, everything she felt when connected to him had been a lie and yet…
She was an enemy of the Hierarchy but she never lied, and the enemies of the Hierarchy she had seen seldom did. She knew because they were all telepaths, the sensors she was taught were artificial were her own telepathic abilities and through them she knew the truth.

Why was this truth so hard to accept?

She reached up to her head and touched the suppressor. The… caretakers had explained what it was. It limited her telepathic abilities because of how strong she was. She knew that this was the truth; she remembered how she harmed… others like her when she screamed before their capture. She felt their minds fiddle away from her strength, begging and praying for the scream to stop. She didn’t know it at the time and didn’t care to know but that’s what they were doing as their minds ceased to…

She couldn’t care…

She couldn’t stop…

She couldn’t even consider that he was not… perfect…

She didn’t want to think about this anymore.

She had noticed that her caretakers had been happy for several days now. They didn’t tell her why and their disciplined minds were always on guard near her. They wanted her to keep practicing self-control meditations each morning and after she did so they would keep her company and take her for a walk for the rest of the day. She liked being outside and walking on her own. She knew that there were only handfuls of others like her in the area from the few times she had been allowed to take off her suppressor but that didn’t bother her. Being outside among the trees and animals was great and serene as they didn’t have anything complicated in their minds.

She changed herself and sat on the meditating matt in order to begin her meditation when she sensed anger from some of the caretakers. They were seldom angry and most of the time it was because someone made a mistake but this anger was greater and directed towards an… outsider. The anger flared and she sensed the others who were taken care of ask in fear about what was going on. She knew that she and they weren’t prisoners but they were all afraid of outsiders, each one for a different reason but they were all afraid of them. She wasn’t as afraid as the others; she just didn’t know anyone from the outside. The anger the caretakers felt subsided after a while and soon afterwards she sensed a caretaker and an outsider as they approached her remote cabin. She stood up in fear and just stared at the door, as whoever angered a caretaker was surely not a good person.

“Be at ease Device, there is someone here who wants to meet you.” Doranzer Brightlight sent to her as the two of them reached the door. “She is coming inside.”

The one who entered wore armor but was not a Doranzer like most of the caretakers; her armor was a mix of differently shaded grey plates with some green ones added while her armor’s lights were a deep shade of red. Her hair was black and almost reached the floor making them the longest that she had seen up to that point.

“Do you know who I am Device?” The outsider asked after the door behind her closed, Doranzer Brightlight left standing outside.

“No.”

“I am Shadowcloud, I am the warrior who led the mission that freed you from your… captors.”

“You are not a Doranzer.” Deviced pointed out while looking at Shadowcloud’s armor.

“No I am not, I am a Mizol. I did however pretend to be a Doranzer for a particular male. He ended up enjoying the experience with a Mizol.” Shadowcloud replied.

“I don’t understand.”

“You will in time.” Shadowcloud replied with a smile and pointed at the table and a pair of chairs next to it that adorned the room. “Let’s sit.”

“Have they told you?” Shadowcloud asked when they both sat down.

“Told me what?”

“The war with the Hierarchy is over, their fleets are shattered and their subjugated species are in open revolt.” Shadowcloud informed her.

“I sensed that our caretakers were happy…”

“They didn’t tell anyone because many here would be conflicted by the news. This is a place for those who have been broken in the war and cannot control their minds and strength; some of them will keep fighting it for some time to come.” Shadowcloud explained.

“I don’t know… what to feel… I … They lied about everything and… yet…”

“Stay calm and don’t worry about it, you will find your answers in time.” Shadowcloud reassured her.

“I… don’t know…” Device repeated before gathering her thoughts. “Were you there? At the battle?”

“Yes, I convinced someone to take me along to witness it.” Shadowcloud replied.

“How was it?”

“It was not… a battle.” The warrior replied. “You will learn all about it in due time.”

“Why have you come here?”

“I wanted to see you in person now that you are free, healed and the hard fighting is over.” Shadowcloud replied.

“Why?”

“For many reasons.” The warrior replied and smiled. “I wanted to tell you that we have freed some more captives like you. They are confused much like you were but they are treated well and you may meet them soon.”

“I…am… I want to know what happened to Kt’rkrktkr-48-trkrk.” Device sent.

“Why?” The warrior asked, her anger shimmering at the back of her mind.

“He was… dear and…”


“He…” Shadowcloud sent with some derision. “I am… sorry… I understand that Kt’rkrktkr-48-trkrk was everything your life revolved around and as such your mind tricks you to think of him as a male.”

“What happened to him?”

“It died quickly and painlessly.”

“Why? Why wasn’t he kept alive like I was?” Device asked angrily.

“Because it was a Shell who hated all Loroi; this includes even you.” Shadowcloud explained angrily.

“I am not an enemy!” Device snapped back.

“You are not anyone’s enemy.” Shadowcloud replied calmly.

“I…”

“You are someone who has been lied to from the moment you had your first coherent thought.” Shadowcloud sent to her. “I don’t blame you for what you did nor for the conflict that rages within you. We Loroi are not innocent and never claimed to be but we have been honest to ourselves and to you.”

“I…know…”


“Good. Life hasn’t been easy for you so far but it is only getting started. You will find the answers you are looking for in time.” Shadowcloud reassured her.

“…Thank you…”

“Tomorrow I will leave with the force which is tasked to liberate the captives that the Hierarchy held as breeding stock. We are prepared to allow the Shells who hold them safe passage to one of their quarantined planets provided that the captives are kept alive. If your mother is among them and everything goes well I will inform her that she has a daughter here.”
Shadowcloud informed her.

“I… thank you again…” Device replied and remembered something important but hesitated to ask.

“Do you have something you want to ask?”

“Did I… have… a child?” Shadowcloud sighed at that and looked angrily at the closed door before replying.

“Yes, you have a daughter. I had her placed in an incubator the moment we reached port. She was taken out of it recently and is now been taken care of in a crèche. So far she doesn’t show any farseer class telepathic talents.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Device asked sorrowfully.

“Because the truth hurts and you have been hurt more than enough already.” Shadowcloud replied dryly.

“Would the Hierarchy kill her if they had her and she wasn’t a farseer?”

“It’s probable. According to the reports I have seen the breeding programs had already reached the desired output for their expected needs.” Shadowcloud replied.

“They are not machines yet why are they treating us like that?” Device asked angrily, her hands trembling with anguish.

“Because that’s the way they are, they just completely focus themselves on something showing little to no care for everything else.”
Shadowcloud replied with easily felt loathing but this wasn’t everything she wanted to say. “Their spoken language was a clue about the depraved depths their way of thought could lead; we ignored that clue to our own detriment. We did so because they don’t have any pronouns for sexes for the simple fact that all individuals are able to fulfill both functions at the same time. For their spoken language one was either a person or a thing. We Loroi used to describe them all as ‘She’ because they all laid eggs and females are our dominant gender, the humans describe them all as ‘He’ for pretty much the same reasons but inversed. Due to this we didn’t pay much if any attention on how they described themselves when they spoke. When a Shell describes itself it portrays itself as a thing that fulfills a certain function. A machine that has no other descriptive quality than what it does. Only when they describe others of their kind do they describe them as persons. In their minds the function they fulfill is what gives them an identity and because of this they do everything in their power to be the best and most efficient at what they do without bothering anyone else about it. For them everything is for the cause without question, they treat others like slaves and machines because they think so of themselves, each one of them believes that they are a piece of machinery with no other purpose in life.”

“I understand what you mean.” Device replied while remembering Kt’rkrktkr-48-trkrk’s own mind.

“I said what I came to say.” Shadowcloud announced as she stood up. “I am sorry for coming unannounced.”

“No I… thank you for being honest with me.” Shadowcloud just stared at her in disbelief before bursting out in laughter.

“I am sorry, it’s just that we Mizols have a reputation of deception and so few ever appreciate us when we are direct and honest with them.”

“I…”

“Don’t worry yourself with such petty stupidity. Just focus on bettering yourself. This war may be over but plenty of challenges still lay ahead of us.”

Epilogue: viewtopic.php?p=23083#p23083

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Thu May 05, 2016 2:07 pm, edited 7 times in total.



Sun Feb 21, 2016 3:39 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Epilogue

The first mistake one makes in regards to the Loroi is to mistake them for women.

The second one is to forget that they are females.


This simple human passage can trace its initial references just before the conclusion of the Battle of the Wastelands. It’s unaccredited but it is a fact that all humans quickly learned to work with this simple passage in mind in their interactions with us Loroi; in fact the original ‘Octalogue to a Loroi visitor’, which was far less vulgar than its infamous variants, easily traces its intellectual roots to this simple but highly accurate passage. It should come to no surprise that the often anonymous variations of the octalogue still offer, more often than not, far more accurate and direct advice to us Loroi in regards to our interactions with humans than the diplomatically correct guidelines our governments hand out.

As recently ascended Torrais you have undoubtedly run across the many variations of the octalogue before your ascension to your current caste but this initial part of the introductory essay you are now reading isn’t about how the humans see us but serves as a prime example of how our society failed to understand the human one in any way that parallels their understanding of ours. This failing can be attributed to many reasons but the sad truth is that this simple failing is the root of the greatest Shame that we Union Loroi committed as a whole.

This very failing is the reason why all of the human studies classes are now forbidden to be conducted by telepathy and are instead done with such inefficient and often confusing ways for those who are unaccustomed to them. Many Loroi warriors chaffed at first but even the initial results were deemed more than satisfactory because of the simple fact that in order for us to fully understand our template species we had to rely on the methods that shaped their way of thought. It is my belief that a lot of the misunderstandings and miscalculations of the past would have been avoided if such methods had been the standard from the early days of our coexistence with them. Thankfully we have managed to avoid committing any more grave mistakes but the time that has been lost is significant while the lives lost cannot be discounted as negligible.

Countless encyclopedias can be written about all of the events surrounding Loroi-Human relations and a lot have been already written by me and many others of my Listel caste. For the purpose of this introductory essay I will just quickly cover the end of the first Great War and the numerous mistakes and miscalculations that followed its end.

It’s now a well accepted fact that the war wouldn’t have ended in our favor had it not been for the initial human contact with then ensign second class Alexander Jardin. His mere existence was a shock for many; a shock which, when coupled with the timing of contact, is directly responsible for the unfortunate initial treatment he was subjected to. This initial shock however paled in comparison to the after the fact realization that his rank was the human equivalent of a Soroin Pideir. This shock was due to the vital input he offered during the Lotai incursion when the Admiralty’s initial blunder to still cling on the farseer network nearly caused a strategic collapse of its own.

It was thanks to his quick thinking and innate talents that he managed to convince those around him that he wasn’t an enemy agent and that the advice he offered was, although detached from the battlefield, sound. It was he that first realized the true size of the Lotai incursion and its intent to keep our naval forces divided and scattered on multiple locations in order to be defeated in detail and it was his advice that kept our forces focused, concentrated and at the heel of the main incursion force and not its tendrils that served as mere distraction. A concentration that was responsible for the annihilation of the Hierarchy force that caused so much panic and destruction during the Lotai Incursion. Thankfully for all of us there were certain individuals who played the necessary façade of them being behind the realization of the Hierarchy’s intent; if this wasn’t the case the field commanders would intentionally ignore everything on principle alone because of who had come up with it.

However even the success against the incursion force pales in comparison to his assistance in the resolution of the Historian issue. The human saying ‘The road to hell is paved with the best of intentions’ fully encapsulates the reasons behind their previous actions as well as the partial responsibility of one of their factions for the Hierarchy farseers. Thankfully this resolution happened before the Historian folly damned every sentient species in the local bubble to oblivion.

The Loroi survivors of the Matveyev incident, or the Mirror incident as the humans call it, were too late to offer any meaningful support during these events but they were responsible for ensuring the subsequent alliance with the Terran Colonial Authority, the reinvention of the telepathic techniques that were pivotal in the Battle of the Wastelands as well as being the first to come to the grim realization that was the real reason behind the creation of the Warseer caste.

The inception of the battle plan can also be partially attributed to Alexander Jardin but without the full cooperation of the TCA that plan and the overwhelming victory it ensured would have never become a reality. The TCA asked and received a lot of concessions for the part that they played; including the now infamous recognition by the Union that the wastelands and everything coreward to them were human territory. Emperor Greywind, the Diadem and the Assembly all believed that the area was useless and wholly devoid of mineral riches but as time later proved, this was either the greatest of follies or the greatest of blessings depending on how one chooses to interpret subsequent events.

Nevertheless, no one at the time considered that these concessions were nothing less than the just due to the great risk humanity as a whole took in presenting their whole species as bait to the Hierarchy which was desperate for an overwhelming victory. The Hierarchy knowing that the Lotai Incursion did hurt the Union but let the bulk of the Loroi fleets relatively intact, was desperate to inflict loses on those fleets whose weakening if not outright elimination would mean the downfall of the Union and they had to do this while taking as few loses as possible in turn, for they knew that their own internal tensions after the failure of the Lotai Incursion would tear their struggling empire apart.

The TCA approaching them again, begging for help in order to be saved by the Loroi who accused them of supporting the Hierarchy with their Lotai was too good of an opportunity to pass. Despite the near annihilation of their covert intelligence network by the Mizol during and after the incursion, they were still able to gleam the size of the punitive Loroi fleet that was sent to insure that the Hierarchy would be deprived of their Lotai. This successful campaign of misinformation by the Mizol caste was enough for the Hierarchy to confirm that the secret of their Lotai was still safe due to the many safeguards they had put in place and they proceeded with the hasty plan of ‘saving’ the humans by destroying the sizeable Loroi punitive fleet. Desperate to claim a seemingly easy victory they devoted their remaining reserves, leaving their borders with the Union with just their standing garrisons, which were already depleted because of the Lotai incursion. In their minds they would ambush the punitive force with overwhelming numbers and then proceed, with human help, to attack the unprotected coreward flank of the Union and finally bring an end to the war.

What really happened wasn’t a battle but the one sided slaughter of the massive armada that was sent to bring an end to the war. A Loroi armada comprised of more than 512 ships led by Emperor Greywind and the finest Torrai commanders utterly annihilated five times their number with negligible loses in a massive battle that was fought across multiple systems, including half of the then human territory. For most of the warriors aboard the fleets that took part in that one sided slaughter, their victory was cause for jubilant celebration but for the few among them who paid close attention to their new allies it was a day of grim realization regarding humanity as a whole.

The humans had played their role well, so well that their campaign of blanket misinformation to their own populace nearly caused a planet wide riot on Earth when the news of the overwhelming Loroi victory reached them, their populace being wholly convinced of the lies that were fed to them. The internal human tensions were an amusing sideshow for the average warrior but others had paid closer attention to the human accomplishments in the battle itself.

The human proficiency with technology came as a shock to those who witnessed it. The suspicions of those who were hosted on Matveyev became manifest when the humans managed to infect a large number of Hierarchy warships with a malware of their creation that was delivered via their navigation beacons. That malware was a product of the Hierarchy computers Matveyev brought home, the documentation that Matveyev’s passengers provided, the Hierarchy malware and the human proclivity of ultrafast technological advancement which translated into incredible software capabilities.

The end results were shocking to witness; many Hierarchy ships just ended up jumping directly into suns and gas giants, others saw their own weapons and targeting systems suffer catastrophic malfunctions while some had all of their airlocks open up just after a hyperspace jump, the empty ships ready to be claimed by the humans who were quick to do so. It was to the credit of the Hierarchy software specialists that only about 20% of their ships were either knocked out or severely impaired due to the human malware but many Loroi wondered, and many still do, if the unusual high amount of near misses of Hierarchy weapons fire was truly due to gunner incompetence or due to another, far more subtle human malware.

The tozons of peace that followed were a whirlwind of activity as the humans would describe them. We Loroi were busy exploiting the many spoils that victory brought us, we quickly subjugated the Hierarchy’s willing allies and gave partial membership status, with the promise of full membership in the future provided certain condition were met, to the species that had been in turn been subjugated by the Hierarchy. While we maintained the new, fragile peace and quarantined the remaining Umiak populations on few select planets, our Union allies prospered through the massive reconstructive efforts and the enhanced trade prospects that the vast conquered territories offered. The most challenging aspect of this initial post war era was perhaps the very acceptance of peace by many young warriors, the same ones who had been born just to wage war and had never seen a time of peace. This initial time of peace was rife with evidence that highlighted the cultural deafening of this young generation; all Loroi needed time to heal their minds from the war's madness but the challenge of teaching peace to those who never knew it seemed insurmountable.

Humanity on the other hand found itself embroiled in a massive and unprecedented exploration venture of their new territory, a venture that instantly turned into a massive colonization effort once the various oases systems were discovered within the wasteland and when the new unspoiled territories beyond it were revealed. This mass colonization effort, alongside their unprecedented technological leap, due to the technologies that the Union provided, led to a monstrous economic, industrial and population growth as humanity raced to claim everything within its assigned territory before anyone else could say otherwise. This era of unparalleled human growth and prosperity was the time of birth of the first human pirate bands that plagued the entire coreward border of the Union for decades. Armed with laughably obsolescent weapons and initially having only second rate civilian ships, these pirates proved to be a scourge of Union and Human shipping alike. The TCA already stretched thin due to the explosive colonial growth and increased internal pressure for a limitation of its authority, could not hope to police the entirety of the border as these pirates bands could be hiding in any single one of the tens of thousands of seemingly barren star systems at the wasteland’s edges.

Many Loroi however chose to ignore the fact that human shipping also suffered and chose to see the pirates as the unquestionable proof of humanity’s ‘base nature’ and a back stab by the human government akin to the treasonous neutrality of the Tithric. Cultural confirmation bias pushed many Loroi warriors in denouncing any possibility of the humans being our template species while pointing out that the Lotai was a byproduct of them being little more than animals. Several political factions used these sentiments to force the issuing of trade sanctions and halt any human purchases of advanced technology in a futile attempt to limit Human growth. Worse of all were the many incidents of Loroi warships harassing and even destroying human freighters without any evidence of them being in any way connected to a pirate band. These sanctions and incidents only managed to trigger the human self-preservation instinct, leading to a rapid militarization of humanity and the establishment of the Terran Confederation which replaced the TCA and became the unified diplomatic and martial arm of Humanity as a whole. Similar in function to the Loroi Axis of old, the key difference still lays with the fact that the Confederation has unified and homogenized Humanity's Naval and Ground martial arms with the authority to bring and direct the entire human economy into a total war footing at a moment’s notice.

The Union as a whole didn’t see these political events as the logical reaction to Loroi hostility but as preparation for war against it. The Confederation tried to relax these negative sentiments of ours by launching several successful anti-piracy operations and making public examples of the many pirates they captured. This however wasn’t enough for the anti-human factions among the warrior castes and the proposal to launch a punitive campaign against the entirety of Humanity gained significant traction as many young warriors wanted to preempt another Lotai incursion, this time one by human warships which were quickly reaching parity with their Union counterparts.

Thankfully for all of us the internal political issues of the Loroi provided a solution that fully benefited the Union, or so the warrior castes thought. The Loroi civilian population had become increasingly restless after it had been intentionally sidelined during and even after the end of the first Great War, partially because of the role that several prominent civilian guilds played to the coup after Greywind's ascension to the throne and partially because most of the lucrative reconstruction and trade deals after the war had to be given to the Union’s most faithful members who had suffered greatly during it. Many of course do like to point out the increased resentment that the relatively aged civilian population had towards the young warriors who had vastly different cultural views but such petty sentiments shouldn't be held against who had won the war against the Hierarchy and had paid a disproportionate price in doing so. The end result of everything was that several prominent civilian guilds had rallied behind the Loroi Axis faction and although the Imperial faction had the full support of the Mizol caste it was obvious that yet another Loroi civil war was just waiting to happen. For the sake of the Union a very large number of civilians had to disappear one way or the other in order to deflate the power of the Loroi Axis faction.

In a backroom deal between Emperor Greywind and the newly formed Terran Confederation, the Confederation agreed to take in a large number of Loroi civilians as migrants in exchange for continued peace with the Union. The first migrant ships were full of the worse civilian instigators that the Mizol caste could identify, individuals who were frogmarched to ships that would take them to totally alien territory where they would be at the mercy of aliens that the warrior castes had vilified and even attacked for almost as long as there had been peace in the Union. This barely concealed exile of hundreds of millions was a cruel act but it worked in its purpose. The internal Loroi tensions were diffused almost overnight and the Confederation got more time to arm itself and completely annihilate the pirate bands that had been a thorn to Loroi-Human relations. Even without the pirates however, Loroi-Human relations remained tense because of the innate Loroi hostility due to the Human Lotai.

This forced migration however proved to be a grave miscalculation by Emperor Greywind as this quick and politically painless, for the warrior castes, solution brought forth an even greater threat later on. Even a fool could see from early on how enamored Humans were with us Loroi, especially their males; although the worse elements of our society did cause the expected criminality issues to the Confederation worlds they had settled on, this didn’t translate to the expected marginalization of the new Loroi arrivals. Human societies always suffered from higher crime rates than ours with few exceptions and as it turned out the Loroi crime rate was a lot lower than its human equivalent. Making it barely noticeable when contrasted with the facts that those civilians were not only hard working and quite attractive blue elves to the eyes of the average human male but they were also politically hostile to the Loroi Union as a whole due to the way they were treated and betrayed.
When we saw one of our civilians we saw in them failed warriors who were too weak willed to amount to anything important. Humans on the other hand saw limitless potential and accepted them eagerly and easily, some humans say even easier than they would accept other fellow humans. The Mizol caste was shocked as to how quickly Loroi civilians rose in status among the new human colonies and soon the Confederation territories were turned from an exile destination for the worse troublemakers, to a highly sought out opportunity outlet for Loroi civilians, all of them finding plenty of opportunity but most importantly unparalleled freedom among the humans who constantly expanded in the Wastelands and the territories beyond.

Quite interesting is the fact that Loroi civilians were the only non-humans allowed to settle on human worlds. Partially due to the atrocities committed during the first Great War and partially because of the way it was treated by the Union as a whole, Humanity had become increasingly xenophobic after the war’s end. Coupled with the rapid militarization due to Loroi hostility; the Confederation had taken steps to forbid the settlement of alien populations in their territory. The forced exception of Loroi civilians was initially seen as necessary to maintain the peace but the success of their assimilation was not translated into a review of the quite draconian anti-immigration laws for other species that had already been put in place.

Despite the relatively quick acceptance of the Loroi migrants, the Humans weren’t fools to allow unrestricted reproduction rights to them, the measures put in place were an almost direct copy of our own but to the surprise of no one such measures were hardly necessary for reasons that become readily apparent to anyone who has seen and spent time with a human male even for a little while.
In time the Loroi exiles became an integral part of all Human colony worlds and soon human nations begun accepting them as full-fledged citizens; the final step of their full assimilation by the non-telepathic humanity. This Loroi minority became a source of endless friction between the Confederation and the Union, especially after it became known that the Confederation begun to actively employ Loroi in its military branches. Dubbing themselves the Reforged, these Loroi quickly proved themselves a problem for the Loroi warrior castes, for finally an alien species had managed to get their own telepathic warriors and they did so without coercion or trickery. The Mizol caste foolishly believed that it could approach these new warriors for information as the human Lotai had been a nearly insurmountable obstacle in information gathering, forcing them to resort to some very unscrupulous methods to secure information. To the dismay and physical detriment of the Mizol operatives attempting to approach them, the Reforged proved to be uncooperative and fanatical in their loyalty towards the Confederation. I personally find it deeply ironic that the Humans got the loyalty of the Reforged and gave them the conviction of being beholden of the truth because they saw them as equals to be cherished while we saw only weak willed fools to be mocked and sidelined.

Less than a human century after the end of the first Great War the many miscalculations in regards to Humanity had finally brought forth their combined results.

Giving the humans undisputed possession of the Wastelands and beyond allowed them to claim and colonize a bounty of rich worlds that although scattered and often distant from each other, were more than enough to ensure the resources for an industrial capacity that would rival the Union’s own.

Allowing the most warlike of us to dictate policy only ended up galvanizing human society and led to their ever increasing militarization.

Exiling the civilian troublemakers to human space and then allowing the increased immigration of our civilians boosted human economy with highly skilled, experienced and dependable workers who quickly became an integral part of the Confederation’s economy; later even becoming an integral part of the Confederation’s armed forces.

In less than a century Humanity had not only reached our own tech level but had also surpassed us in certain fields. Their economy was vibrant and self-sufficient, their industrial capacity and the resources behind it could rival our own, their population had boomed and approached Loroi numbers even after our own population increase after the end of the war. Even these facts however paled to the deadly combination of the Human Lotai and the unshakable loyalty of the Reforged Loroi to those who had treated them as equals and allowed them to live their lives as they wished.

Thankfully for every one of us the seemingly inevitable Loroi-Human war never came to pass due to the second Great War. Now previously unimaginable shame fills our warriors when Human and Reforged warriors greet them with their ‘Terra Invicta’ battle cry. We Union Loroi had to look at ourselves in shame in order to finally understand the many failings that our warriors exhibited while Human warriors and their Reforged comrades stood tall against seemingly impossible odds.

Even this shame paled in comparison to the shame that filled us all when the Humans finally managed to bring down their Lotai and re-awake their own telepathic abilities, for the realization that followed was one that shook all Union Loroi to our very core. For many nanapis I failed to find the written words to explain this, forcing myself to look deep in my memories to finally find them.

Sometime before he died I conversed with then retired Admiral George Asteios, the Captain of Matveyev whose funeral caused a cross caste political scandal when I and every other living survivor of Silverspear expressed our wish to attend it and got it granted by Confederation authorities; at this point I must express my sincere gratitude to his family who accepted to postpone his funeral for months in order to grant our selfish wish to pay tribute to the man, the surviving crew and even the ship that had saved our lives. Thankfully the Confederation had seen fit to turn it into a museum in order to highlight Humanity's wish to be friendly with the Union.

During our conversation I asked him why he had told us that his personal name ‘George’ meant ‘farmer’, when the patron saint of his name was a dragonslaying hero. Because of this he could say that his name meant ‘Funny Dragonslayer’ instead of ‘Funny Farmer’ or ‘Farmer of Fun’. He admitted that he had considered it but he said that he chose the literal meaning because his parents named him so in order to honor his grandfather who was indeed a farmer with the same name. Although embarrassed by the meaning and constantly teased by his colleagues, who playfully called him Captain Funny or even Admiral Funny, he was always proud of his family and didn’t want to betray his namesake even for such a trivial matter.

I realized then that my savior was always honest first with himself and then to others; a quality of character that most Loroi believed that no human could ever have and to our eternal shame it is still a realization that takes us by surprise whenever a human chooses to lower their Lotai for us.

It was this man who named the Mirror star system, where the Matveyev incident happened, the star system that finally serves as the major trading hub that TCA diplomats wanted it to be when they asked for it and got it during the negotiations for the Union-TCA alliance. It was he who also wrote the small parable that now serves as the star system’s motto just before Matveyev left it, to return only once at its final voyage before its decommission.

‘Always look forward to the Mirror, for both the past and present are unerringly reflected on it. Study it, talk to it, curse at it or spit at it; it’s all the same to it because you are the image and the image is you.’


It took my savior mere days to figure us out and find a way on how to coexist with us while we just constantly focused on their Lotai, hoping to find a way to guard ourselves from the myriad of alien lies that we believed were hidden within.

Our greatest shame lies not on how we treated the Humans, nor with the multitude of our failures that the Humans and the Reforged highlighted through their actions. Our greatest shame is the fact that we Union Loroi chose to lie to ourselves when the truth was right in front of us.

I am Listel Saszet-Toza Sulfur, I was among the first who knew and yet I still lied. Out of fear, out of pride, out of orders or out of foolishness it doesn’t matter.

I lied.

THE END

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


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Sun Feb 21, 2016 3:39 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
It's Monday the 22nd here so that means that the end of this little endeavor was posted at the one year anniversary of the posting of the prologue :mrgreen:

Writing this story was an interesting exercise, taught me a lot of things about my writing style and how to improve it. Writing it also helped me fix my horrid handwriting somewhat as a welcome extra.

Now starts the copy editing, proof reading and rewriting (where necessary). As I promised I will post the finished book in a printable PDF format when everything is said and done, I will also see if I can convert it to a mainstream e-reader format for those who want to read this story on a tablet.

Other than that, I will say that the end of a story is always the beginning of a new one.

Feel free to ask me anything.

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Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Sun Feb 21, 2016 3:40 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
You took the ending in a way I did not expect at all. Well done overall!


Sun Feb 21, 2016 6:36 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
I wonder who the second Great War was against... a question I'm sure will be answered in the sequel :D

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Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:13 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
Congratulations on the end of the story. Damn decent fanfic turned. Maybe I'm not all the ideas contained therein agree, but in many ways consonant with my thinking. Thank you and for the work, and for the story ;)


Mon Feb 22, 2016 3:03 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
Nice fanfic! Although the end was not what I had expected. ;)

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Mon Feb 22, 2016 6:47 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
The epilogue describe a future that is very interesting. It could perhaps be used as a backdrop for more stories and for roleplaying. Imagine the interaction between traditional Union loroi and reforged ones one for instance. Perhaps onboard the The Terrain Confederations new flagship dealing with a situation on the human space far coreward region of space where colonists have been attacked by a mysterious new enemy. All as a forum roleplaying thread for instance.


Mon Feb 22, 2016 10:23 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
Maybe a bit too much "Humanity fuck yeah" in the end, but not bad.
question for the author : regarding the Reforged, I find a bit disconcerting their devotion to the Imperium of Man Confederation, considering how the fic depicted the Loroi identity as something ingrained in their very nature and almost unbreakable even under the Shell 's terribles experiments and manipulations.


Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:36 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
raistlin34 wrote:
Maybe a bit too much "Humanity fuck yeah" in the end, but not bad.
question for the author : regarding the Reforged, I find a bit disconcerting their devotion to the Imperium of Man Confederation, considering how the fic depicted the Loroi identity as something ingrained in their very nature and almost unbreakable even under the Shell 's terribles experiments and manipulations.


Willpower and dedication is a little different. Honestly, I didn't notice the contradiction. Loroi is Loroi, it would not have done them (at least, adults, formed personality). People are not trying to somehow break\oppress\etc, just let them to live as they wish (with provisos of course, like for example "not to interfere with the lives of others"). After the ferroconcrete Loroi society, where the lives of everyone from the entry into caste painted inside and out, I think in such terms "immigrants" should be called the most powerful "break pattern". Of course, they are in the Confederation was more like it (well, as the initial shock will pass :D ).


Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:55 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
raistlin34 wrote:
Maybe a bit too much "Humanity fuck yeah" in the end, but not bad.
question for the author : regarding the Reforged, I find a bit disconcerting their devotion to the Imperium of Man Confederation, considering how the fic depicted the Loroi identity as something ingrained in their very nature and almost unbreakable even under the Shell 's terribles experiments and manipulations.


Maybe I could have wrote it down better but the Reforged do see humans as the template species of the Loroi, hence why the Union Loroi being the ones ashamed for lying when the truth was in-front of them.

The Reforged are not opposed against the Union Loroi just for their pride, their freedom or past political reasons (although everything does play its own part). The founding belief of the Reforged is that the Union Loroi chose to forsake the truth about their template species with the full intent of committing genocide against them with the first opportunity; for the Reforged, humans are not mere aliens, they are their template species who appeared just in the nick of time to help the foolish warriors in winning the war.

To their minds fighting alongside humans, even against Union Loroi isn't a betrayal of their Loroi ancestry but accepting the truth and the fact that the fate of the Loroi as a species is intertwined with the species from which they are derived and has showed them a different way of doing things.

In their minds they are doing what the Loroi should have been doing from the end of the war, accept humanity as their equals despite their Lotai.

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


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Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:57 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
Tamri wrote:
raistlin34 wrote:
Maybe a bit too much "Humanity fuck yeah" in the end, but not bad.
question for the author : regarding the Reforged, I find a bit disconcerting their devotion to the Imperium of Man Confederation, considering how the fic depicted the Loroi identity as something ingrained in their very nature and almost unbreakable even under the Shell 's terribles experiments and manipulations.


Willpower and dedication is a little different. Honestly, I didn't notice the contradiction. Loroi is Loroi, it would not have done them (at least, adults, formed personality). People are not trying to somehow break\oppress\etc, just let them to live as they wish (with provisos of course, like for example "not to interfere with the lives of others"). After the ferroconcrete Loroi society, where the lives of everyone from the entry into caste painted inside and out, I think in such terms "immigrants" should be called the most powerful "break pattern". Of course, they are in the Confederation was more like it (well, as the initial shock will pass :D ).


Fair enough. I'm also curious about human-loroi intimate relationships. Are Loroi capable of romance at all? What about their respective concept of "family"?


Mon Feb 22, 2016 1:06 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
dragoongfa wrote:
Maybe I could have wrote it down better but the Reforged do see humans as the template species of the Loroi, hence why the Union Loroi being the ones ashamed for lying when the truth was in-front of them.

The Reforged are not opposed against the Union Loroi just for their pride, their freedom or past political reasons (although everything does play its own part). The founding belief of the Reforged is that the Union Loroi chose to forsake the truth about their template species with the full intent of committing genocide against them with the first opportunity; for the Reforged humans are not mere aliens, they are their template species who appeared just in the nick of time to help the foolish warriors in winning the war.

To their minds fighting alongside humans, even against Union Loroi isn't a betrayal of their Loroi ancestry but accepting the truth and the fact that the fate of the Loroi as a species is intertwined with the species from which they are derived and has showed them a different way of doing things.

In their minds they are doing what the Loroi should have been doing from the end of the war, accept humanity as their equals despite their Lotai.


Sounds like a religious revelation)) I don't think that this was the main motive, though ... If we extrapolate our history, everything can be: the faithful and the more odious deeds committed. I think there is more discontent alloy military caste that is not enough that I almost blew a war, so also actively inciting the Union to the new, when the society still hasn't recovered from the previous one. And the constant oppression/restrictions/contempt, coupled with the subsequent realization that people have a better life and a sense of betrayal of their nation, in my view, a much more reliable guarantee of loyalty. A related factor may be a million and another truck.

By the way, if you need ideas: try to draw a picture of contact for civilization the ordinary world, and living in the Shadow <Outcast Quest rpgame> (Well, when someone on the other side found a way to come back, or then come up with a reliable way to climb up and down).


Mon Feb 22, 2016 1:23 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
raistlin34 wrote:
Fair enough. I'm also curious about human-loroi intimate relationships. Are Loroi capable of romance at all? What about their respective concept of "family"?


Arioch somewhere said that, yes, capable. Well, some kinship patterns have in any case, must have, even if they are in our view will seem strange. And once force is closely woven into human society, and even a little if not for the first time felt the freedom and secular scrapped restrictions on their "native" society, I don't think that the importation/template change they go hard. Especially when people "include" back their psi-talents.


Mon Feb 22, 2016 1:38 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
Tamri wrote:

Sounds like a religious revelation)) I don't think that this was the main motive, though ... If we extrapolate our history, everything can be: the faithful and the more odious deeds committed. I think there is more discontent alloy military caste that is not enough that I almost blew a war, so also actively inciting the Union to the new, when the society still hasn't recovered from the previous one. And the constant oppression/restrictions/contempt, coupled with the subsequent realization that people have a better life and a sense of betrayal of their nation, in my view, a much more reliable guarantee of loyalty. A related factor may be a million and another truck.

By the way, if you need ideas: try to draw a picture of contact for civilization the ordinary world, and living in the Shadow <Outcast Quest rpgame> (Well, when someone on the other side found a way to come back, or then come up with a reliable way to climb up and down).


My intention when writing the epilogue was to have people think about what happened and was the real cause behind everything. Then have them wonder if what Sulfur wrote was the full undiluted truth as she knew it, or an attempt to have the recently ascended Torrais question their own personal truths and come to different conclusions than the ones they had when they begun reading?

The way I understand it the Loroi Warrior castes are in the middle of a colossal cultural shock, lots and lots of very young warriors who were born just to fight the Hierarchy. The Hierarchy loses the war, most of the Umiak population gets culled and there are a lot of unruly species that were under the Hierarchy. Plenty of stuff to occupy the young warriors for some time but there are still a LOT of them, so many that they may be the outright majority of their warrior castes and they also have the cocky attitude of them being the ones who actually won the war.

They are many, they were born for a war, they think they are the apex of their species and they do not know how to be at peace.

Bad time for human pirates to show up and 'challenge' the Union and a really bad time for the old guard that knows how volatile the young ones are.

Add in the telepathic chauvinism of the Loroi and you get a nightmare scenario both for Humanity and the few sane voices in the Union.

Then there are the civilians. The majority of them are relatively old, they are seen as inferior by the young warriors and they have been shafted in favor of the alien members of the Union. They get politicized once again but if things turn to a violent civil war the Emperor doesn't know if the young ones will show self restraint when dealing with fellow Loroi or if they will go overboard and do far more damage than is necessary.

So what options are left for Greywind and her closest confidants? Who may or may not harbor honest sentiments of gratitude to Humanity despite the loud young ones who know only war.

They know how shaky their position is and they know what is just waiting to happen on both the internal and human fronts.

In the end I will leave people to wonder; was everything truly a miscalculation or an attempt by Greywind and co to protect both the more peaceful values of the Loroi (Old civilians who knew continued peace) and Humanity at large by a warlike population that just begged to be let loose at anything?

Did by any chance the plan just work a little too well?

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My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Feb 22, 2016 1:51 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
dragoongfa wrote:
Spoiler: show
My intention when writing the epilogue was to have people think about what happened and was the real cause behind everything. Then have them wonder if what Sulfur wrote was the full undiluted truth as she knew it, or an attempt to have the recently ascended Torrais question their own personal truths and come to different conclusions than the ones they had when they begun reading?

The way I understand it the Loroi Warrior castes are in the middle of a colossal cultural shock, lots and lots of very young warriors who were born just to fight the Hierarchy. The Hierarchy loses the war, most of the Umiak population gets culled and there are a lot of unruly species that were under the Hierarchy. Plenty of stuff to occupy the young warriors for some time but there are still a LOT of them, so many that they may be the outright majority of their warrior castes and they also have the cocky attitude of them being the ones who actually won the war.

They are many, they were born for a war, they think they are the apex of their species and they do not know how to be at peace.

Bad time for human pirates to show up and 'challenge' the Union and a really bad time for the old guard that knows how volatile the young ones are.

Add in the telepathic chauvinism of the Loroi and you get a nightmare scenario both for Humanity and the few sane voices in the Union.

Then there are the civilians. The majority of them are relatively old, they are seen as inferior by the young warriors and they have been shafted in favor of the alien members of the Union. They get politicized once again but if things turn to a violent civil war the Emperor doesn't know if the young ones will show self restraint when dealing with fellow Loroi or if they will go overboard and do far more damage than is necessary.

So what options are left for Greywind and her closest confidants? Who may or may not harbor honest sentiments of gratitude to Humanity despite the loud young ones who know only war.

They know how shaky their position is and they know what is just waiting to happen on both the internal and human fronts.

In the end I will leave people to wonder; was everything truly a miscalculation or an attempt by Greywind and co to protect both the more peaceful values of the Loroi (Old civilians who knew continued peace) and Humanity at large by a warlike population that just begged to be let loose at anything?

Did by any chance the plan just work a little too well?


Well, the lack of flexibility and poor adaptability - a long-known problems of closed caste systems. Although we have nowhere else is it so not vividly manifested itself as the most privileged caste were usually priests, not warriors, they have other priorities. And then a complete set: a bunch of soldiers with nothing to do and who only know how to hammer nails, utterly disgruntled civilians who are constantly harassed and humiliated, and then there's a new dust on the horizon, and then tightening the screws again. And external irritants such as pirates and the complete absence of even a hint of "safety valves" that would "lose steam". In the words of Captain Price, "The only question is - who strike a match." Honestly, the most fantastic in the epilogue - it is in the end still not resulted in a brawl ;) In addition, following the logic, to deport should the soldiers, not civilians, since it is the extra soldiers are is the source of the problem, rather than dissatisfaction with completely slaughtered civilians. And send civilian - then finally stabbed its own economy and production, which are already over halfway to shift on the shoulders of the Allies during the war. What nonsense just did unspeakable magnitude, because Loroi does all entirely dependent on external supplies and their potential opponent provides valuable staff, who in addition do not like damn Union "for all good things."

The problem is that the text, at least, all this for me is not obvious, which is why some parts look like a "deus ex machina" (or the devil, looking where to look).


Mon Feb 22, 2016 2:40 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed)
Plenty of stuff there to think about for everyone :mrgreen:

I am pretty sure that someone would have thought that perhaps the violent loudmouths should be the ones to go but one can't actually do that in a warrior caste system.

The civilians who were deported and later emigrated would amount at most to a handful of billions in the span of a century, a significant amount but a relatively small number when compared to the 80 billion Loroi that were alive at the end of the war, and the around 150 billion Loroi who were alive after a century of relative peace. A number that still pales in comparison to the huge emigration from Earth to the garden world colonies that were discovered. Earth in Outsider is home to 25 billion Humans, many of them would have to emigrate to have the around 120 billions of humans alive after said peaceful century had passed.

The initial rush to get the 'worse' out would have to be 'big' for the purposes of immediately deflating a volatile situation. A first wave of a dozen millions in a couple of months, followed by a hundred million in the span of 2 to 4 years, after that the good news would be trickling in about how well the first waves were doing and as such the whole thing would cascade into an organized industry. There were undoubtedly some riots at first and several prominent and politically loud civilian guilds ended up loosing almost everyone but someone wanted to avoid a war so there is that.

The problem with the Loroi economy is that there was no way for it to be hampered by even such numbers leaving; the Loroi already relied a lot on their allies for their industry and the civilians were already seen as second rate citizens. It's a short of twisted logic, the proud Loroi warriors seeing their non combatants as failed warriors was the reasons as to why they were snubbed in favor of aliens; sure the support of the coup against Greywing by civilian guilds played a part but they are still Loroi.

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Mon Feb 22, 2016 3:08 pm
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