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[Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror (Completed) 
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Hmmmm...interesting to see where this will go.

The humans would love to get their hands on some of the tech and would love to bring the Loroi to Earth. In fact, it's probably their directive - to get back ASAP once they got something.
Getting deeper into unknown territory and risking crew and current gains wouldn't seem enticing.

On the other hand the Loroi would want to get back to their space to report about the recent development in the war.
An impasse.

Honestly, if he plays it right, the captain could bargain well.
The stricken ship in exchange for carrying the loroi home.

Alternatively, contacting another scout to do both - one takes a few Loroi to Earth, the other takes a few home.


Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:25 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Quote:
Alternatively, contacting another scout to do both - one takes a few Loroi to Earth, the other takes a few home.


Not with an Umiak vessel coming their way.

The way I see it the humans will have to pick between running home and possibly exposing Humanity's core worlds (not to mention being overrun), or running toward the relatively closer Loroi frontline/border.

92 extra people is a lot for a scout ship (with a complement of 80-90 people) to hold. I'd guess the humans will end up dashing towards the loroi border and giving pretty free reign to their newfound sisters (allowed to travel around most of the ship apart from reasonably restricted areas) in order to curry some goodwill. With both cramped space and most life-support systems understandably strained, I'm sure (and fervently hope) quite a lot of integration and cultural blending will happen between the two crews.


Tue Apr 14, 2015 5:28 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Logannion wrote:
Quote:
Alternatively, contacting another scout to do both - one takes a few Loroi to Earth, the other takes a few home.


Not with an Umiak vessel coming their way.

The way I see it the humans will have to pick between running home and possibly exposing Humanity's core worlds (not to mention being overrun), or running toward the relatively closer Loroi frontline/border.

92 extra people is a lot for a scout ship (with a complement of 80-90 people) to hold. I'd guess the humans will end up dashing towards the loroi border and giving pretty free reign to their newfound sisters (allowed to travel around most of the ship apart from reasonably restricted areas) in order to curry some goodwill. With both cramped space and most life-support systems understandably strained, I'm sure (and fervently hope) quite a lot of integration and cultural blending will happen between the two crews.


It is possible that they will cannabilize the loroi vessel for some parts in order to extend the hunan scout ship's life support capabilities. And rob the larder of loroi edible food. Fleeing to loroi space may become a bad idea if they are cut of from those jump points. I am curious about where this will go.


Tue Apr 14, 2015 5:56 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Logannion wrote:
Quote:
Alternatively, contacting another scout to do both - one takes a few Loroi to Earth, the other takes a few home.


Not with an Umiak vessel coming their way.

The way I see it the humans will have to pick between running home and possibly exposing Humanity's core worlds (not to mention being overrun), or running toward the relatively closer Loroi frontline/border.

92 extra people is a lot for a scout ship (with a complement of 80-90 people) to hold. I'd guess the humans will end up dashing towards the loroi border and giving pretty free reign to their newfound sisters (allowed to travel around most of the ship apart from reasonably restricted areas) in order to curry some goodwill. With both cramped space and most life-support systems understandably strained, I'm sure (and fervently hope) quite a lot of integration and cultural blending will happen between the two crews.



There are no other vessels in-system.
There is NOTHING stopping the scout from turning back, and there's no one to follow them.

But granted, I haven't taken into account the crew complements. Do we even have the exact number of loroi survivors?

Hmmm....graft the loroi ship to the human one, have it pull/push? :P


Tue Apr 14, 2015 11:55 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
TrashMan wrote:

There are no other vessels in-system.
There is NOTHING stopping the scout from turning back, and there's no one to follow them.

But granted, I haven't taken into account the crew complements. Do we even have the exact number of loroi survivors?

Hmmm....graft the loroi ship to the human one, have it pull/push? :P


I have taken the liberty to give the Umiak's farsense in the story and the Umiak ships have far better accelaration than TCA ships. Can't take the Loroi aboard, the Umiak will hunt the ship down with far sense. The human crew wouldn't be in danger since they can't be detected with farsense but they don't even know that an Umiak ship is coming.

The question is: When would Matveyev have to turn to leave the system before before the Umiak ship that will go to investigate the 93 life signs catches a glimpse of it?

Before first contact with the Loroi is a safe bet.

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Wed Apr 15, 2015 2:49 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
dragoongfa wrote:

I have taken the liberty to give the Umiak's farsense in the story and the Umiak ships have far better accelaration than TCA ships. Can't take the Loroi aboard, the Umiak will hunt the ship down with far sense. The human crew wouldn't be in danger since they can't be detected with farsense but they don't even know that an Umiak ship is coming.

The question is: When would Matveyev have to turn to leave the system before before the Umiak ship that will go to investigate the 93 life signs catches a glimpse of it?


So what are the Umiak waiting for?

If they could sense the Loroi the entire time and from those distances (farsense has limits, assuming that is what the Umiak are using and not just a hidden sensor net or something), then:
- how did the Loroi lure them into an ambush if they could detect their exact position?
- the Umiak know exactly where the loroi ship is and are doing nothing.
- decided to only send one ship after it, with others so far behind as to be pointless (given the Loroi speed and distance/time advantage)

The Mateyev has been in system for a while (a day or two?) and it detected nothing. No energy discharge. So the battle was fought before they arrived. Meaning the Loroi were waiting there all this time.
That basically means that the Umiak sent one ship and then decided to send another one 2 days later. Which itself would be pointless, since they couldn't catch that Loroi ship anyway.


Wed Apr 15, 2015 3:07 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
TrashMan wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:

I have taken the liberty to give the Umiak's farsense in the story and the Umiak ships have far better accelaration than TCA ships. Can't take the Loroi aboard, the Umiak will hunt the ship down with far sense. The human crew wouldn't be in danger since they can't be detected with farsense but they don't even know that an Umiak ship is coming.

The question is: When would Matveyev have to turn to leave the system before before the Umiak ship that will go to investigate the 93 life signs catches a glimpse of it?


So what are the Umiak waiting for?

If they could sense the Loroi the entire time and from those distances (farsense has limits, assuming that is what the Umiak are using and not just a hidden sensor net or something), then:
- how did the Loroi lure them into an ambush if they could detect their exact position?
- the Umiak know exactly where the loroi ship is and are doing nothing.
- decided to only send one ship after it, with others so far behind as to be pointless (given the Loroi speed and distance/time advantage)

The Mateyev has been in system for a while (a day or two?) and it detected nothing. No energy discharge. So the battle was fought before they arrived. Meaning the Loroi were waiting there all this time.
That basically means that the Umiak sent one ship and then decided to send another one 2 days later. Which itself would be pointless, since they couldn't catch that Loroi ship anyway.


I can answer all of the above easily but that would give some very big spoilers, suffice to say that the Umiak don't have far sensing capabilities anywhere near the same level as the Loroi. For reasons that are both tech and skill based.

As for the initial Umiak ambush against the Loroi Squadron, that wouldn't have happened if certain Umiak fleets that recently received some new classified equipment weren't doing shakedown cruises in space that was considered wholly abandoned and away from wandering eyes. The fact that such shakedown fleets happened to run into two minor Loroi flottilas that were there for some reason was considered both a bonus and an extra proof of concept for the new equipment.

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Wed Apr 15, 2015 4:38 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
TrashMan wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:

I have taken the liberty to give the Umiak's farsense in the story and the Umiak ships have far better accelaration than TCA ships. Can't take the Loroi aboard, the Umiak will hunt the ship down with far sense. The human crew wouldn't be in danger since they can't be detected with farsense but they don't even know that an Umiak ship is coming.

The question is: When would Matveyev have to turn to leave the system before before the Umiak ship that will go to investigate the 93 life signs catches a glimpse of it?


So what are the Umiak waiting for?

If they could sense the Loroi the entire time and from those distances (farsense has limits, assuming that is what the Umiak are using and not just a hidden sensor net or something), then:
- how did the Loroi lure them into an ambush if they could detect their exact position?
- the Umiak know exactly where the loroi ship is and are doing nothing.
- decided to only send one ship after it, with others so far behind as to be pointless (given the Loroi speed and distance/time advantage)

The Mateyev has been in system for a while (a day or two?) and it detected nothing. No energy discharge. So the battle was fought before they arrived. Meaning the Loroi were waiting there all this time.
That basically means that the Umiak sent one ship and then decided to send another one 2 days later. Which itself would be pointless, since they couldn't catch that Loroi ship anyway.


The Umiak farsense sensor is some kind of living organism. It have sensed the loroi vessels crew but so far not been asked to volunteer this information to it's operator. If the operator does not ask, the information may not come to the Umiak crews knowledge. Regarding taking survivors on board the scout ship, the Umiak are not supposed to have farsense ability and as such there is no no need to take that into account. Once the realise the possibility for ghis, if ever then they will need to make soom hard decisions. Maybe the loroi faarser can confuse the enemy or something. Perhaps the crew can be placed in a drug induced coma to appear dead? Let's see where this goes.


Thu Apr 16, 2015 6:05 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 4, part 3

The Mizol had done plenty of stupid things since Razormist was assigned as her bodyguard; in fact her actions were so ridiculous that two more Teidar were assigned to Shadowcloud to keep her safe. This however had to easily be at the top 4; even higher than the time she abducted that Barsam religious leader, who to her credit was indeed acting as a proxy for the Nissek Hegemony’s attempt to come in contact with the Hierarchy. It was to Shadowcloud’s further credit that her crazy stunts almost always worked out; still as her chief bodyguard Razormist didn’t like this and if the situation had been any different she would have protested for longer, perhaps even try to stop her but she knew that when Shadowcloud got something in her head there was almost nothing that could stop her.

“Is there something bothering you my Sezon?” Teidar Longblade reached out telepathically to her.

“Shadowcloud.” Razormist replied without thinking.

“Mizols are known to be like that.” Her subordinate replied.

“You have no idea.”

“Some say that they like to hide and talk so much because they are afraid.” Longblade commented.

“Afraid?” Razormist asked although she already guessed the answer.

“Afraid that without using these cheap tricks the other castes would see their cowardly nature and strike them down.”

“Spoken like a Teidar fresh out of training.” Razormist commented, her message carrying both amusement and chastising for her subordinate’s comments.

“But Sezon…”

“We Teidar developed and adopted Lotai not because we were the first to be targeted in battles but because we were hunted down at times of ‘peace’ because of our ‘cowardly’ powers.” Razormist cut her off and reminded her.

“No warrior from other castes would ever best a Teidar!” Longblade protested.

“Really? How many warriors are you able to take out on your own? 4? Maybe 8? When we were still fighting with swords and spears hundreds of warriors would gang up and murder lone Teidars for any perceived slights, real and even made up. Don’t overestimate you strength and you will live long enough to learn the true history of our caste when you become a senior warrior.” Razormist scolded her.

“I…am sorry my Sezon.” Longblade relented.

“The fun thing is that I thought the same way even after I became a senior warrior a century ago and that's why I loathed the Mizols.” Razormist replied calmly. “It didn’t help that the only Mizols I knew were the intelligence and diplomatic officers on the ships I served. They always advised caution and restraint; regularly objecting to the actions of our most exemplar warriors and commanders.”

“Warnings and calls for caution are the tools of a coward.” Longblade commented almost mechanically.

“And all of those exemplars died early in the war, their defeats bringing long lasting shame to their castes.” Razormist continued as if she hadn’t heard her subordinate. “I was assigned to Shadowcloud right after Greywind’s ascension to the throne. It was unheard of at the time for Teidar to act as mere bodyguards to protect Mizols, no matter how high ranking they were. Our caste leaders immediately protested but Greywind somehow convinced them to accept those orders and when I voiced my displeasure to Shadowcloud about me serving as her bodyguard she told me exactly what Greywind said to our elders.”

“What was that?”

“A Teidar’s life is to overcome adversity and always speak the truth. We were needed not as mere bodyguards but to tell the other castes what was really happening in the shadow war that the Mizol were fighting.”

“Mizol lies and trickery.” Longblade commented.

“Our Elders didn’t think so but what Shadowcloud said next was what led me to accept becoming her bodyguard.”

“What do you mean?”

“She told me that if I could defeat her in a non lethal duel then she would make sure that I would get a promotion and be sent to whatever assignment I wished.”

“An obvious Mizol lie.” Longblade said with open contempt.

“She didn’t lie Teidar and by now you should know that it is something within her influence to grant.”

“Then why didn’t you fight her?” Longblade asked.

“I did fight her and I lost.” Razormist admitted.

“Impossible…”

“I know, no warrior from another caste can defeat a Teidar.” Razormist joked reminding her subordinate what she herself had said earlier.

“But the Mizol telekinetics are weaker than Teidars!”

“Everyone knows about the understanding that the Listel and the Mizol have come to regarding telekinetics. Everyone who is born to a Listel mother and is both telekinetic and eidetic goes to the Mizol, no matter how strong they may be. Such telekinetics are rare and usually weak but there are the few odd monsters among them.”

“How strong is she?”

“Probably on the same level as the 'Beast of Seren' in terms of raw strength.”

“Teidar Sezon Razormist and Teidar Longblade, I have need of you.” Shadowcloud addressed both of them before Longblade could reply.

“What do you need Mizol?” Razormist asked.

“I have come to an agreement with the aliens. They will allow two of our number to inspect their positions.” Shadowcloud replied.

“It’s our ship and they dare ‘allow’ us to move freely on it?” Razormist commented angrily.

“Hold your temper and listen to me.” Shadowcloud snapped back. “The alien told me that there are six of them and they are only lightly armed, I want you to verify their story and inspect the airlock they installed. Then I want you to extract Thunderspear and the Farseer as well as the unconscious Passet.”

“Then what?”

“After that; these ‘humans’ will transmit the full biological information about their species, information that we will in turn use to heal the one that the knocked out Passet injured.” Shadowcloud replied with an air of accomplishment.

“What do they want in exchange Mizol?” Razormist asked.

“We will have to transmit our own full biological information in turn.”

“Not a lot of people will like that.”
Razormist commented.

“It’s something that the Shells already have and we need their biological information to see if they are indeed a natural species and not a construct of the Shells.”


“And we will be able to cross reference that information with a living specimen as well; we will also be in a position to ‘accidentally’ touch them and scan them in depth.” Razormist thought.

“We will see for sure if they are indeed naturally immune to our telepathy that way.” Shadowcloud commented.

“What’s our next move if they are indeed what they say they are?”

“They said that they are here to offer assistance; I asked if they have some sort of small emergency generator and if they are willing to trade it for some of our equipment.” Shadowcloud replied.

“And what are the odds of such a generator being powerful enough to support the Farseer’s amplifier?” Razormist asked with a hint of hope at the back of her thoughts.

“Very good if what the human said is true, we will supplement it with our shuttles if need be but we will alert the empire about this new Shell trick.” Shadowcloud replied.

"If we indeed offer them some equipment you will have to go through Darkwing about it and you know the condition she is in." Razormist added.

"Don't worry about her, I will have her fixed even if I have to drag her to the med bay myself."

"We will need a lot of energy to do everything you said and we don't have a lot of fuel to power the shuttles." Razormist reminded her.

"It's a risk we have to take, if the humans are a Shell trick we are dead anyway but if they are genuine then we will have a way to send a warning to the empire and ask for help." Shadowcloud said reassuringly but something in her telepathic tone bothered Razormist.

“What is it Mizol?”

“I dread to think what will happen to the Union if the Listel are proven right.”

Chapter 5, part 1: viewtopic.php?p=18819#p18819

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Last edited by Guest on Sat Sep 02, 2017 2:26 pm, edited 12 times in total.



Sat Apr 18, 2015 9:16 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
With the end of chapter 4 I realized that there is a limit of 10urls per post, I will try to think of something to keep the parts of the story coherently archived.

Yet an other part of the story that was extensively rewritten after the fact btw. Also for some reason I am still not comfortable with the way this came out. I guess I will rewrite this part whenever I finish the story and gather it all in one place.

Anyway I am torn between naming this chapter the end of Act 1 or if the next one should be it; well time will tell.

EDIT: On further thought this should be the end of Act 1 since the setting has been thoroughly established, the major characters and their goals have been outlined (most of the characters anyway), the impending crisis has been shown to the reader and the way out of the initial kerfuffle has been decided.

So this is the official end of Act 1. Chapter 5 will be the start of Act 2 and I hope that by chapter 6 someone will have established a plausible preliminary explanation about the human Lotai and it's something that will really scare the Loroi.

Because of the URL problem I will collect all the parts, edit them and release them all together as a stand alone PDF file and if the conversion is easy enough in some form of ebook format for ebook readers.

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Sat Apr 18, 2015 9:23 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Why not post it to FanFiction.net or AO3 as well?

Also, I assume Leinnol is the Beast of Seren? :3

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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Carl Miller wrote:
Why not post it to FanFiction.net or AO3 as well?


Will probably do it when the story is finished and properly cleaned up. A handful of the parts I have put up here are placeholders that may change radically after I finish it.

Quote:
Also, I assume Leinnol is the Beast of Seren? :3


Maybe, who knows; all I know is that the Beast is scary :P

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Sat Apr 18, 2015 11:39 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
dragoongfa wrote:
Carl Miller wrote:
Also, I assume Leinnol is the Beast of Seren? :3


Maybe, who knows; all I know is that the Beast is scary :P


You know, fuck it, I will use this as an opportunity for yet an other Author's random ramblings:

In this installment I give you:

Creative adaptation of canonical material and breaking away from it

To begin with let's make it clear, yes as background information to my story the 'Beast of Seren' is indeed Teidar Pallan Leinnol a.k.a. Fireblade. For more info see this: http://well-of-souls.com/outsider/image ... eblade.png

This is a straightforward and easy example in regards to giving a gentle nod to the original story while still keeping the statement open to interpretation. However as simple as this simple statement sounds it's not something that I take lightly to just put in there; to put it bluntly I don't know how the conversation will go when I write it and as such I have to have a broad enough base of knowledge/assumptions to draw from in order to insert such small nods inside the story.

As such I made some assumptions in regards to Fireblade's past; the first assumption I made was that the occupation of Seren found Fireblade in the middle of her diral training period but the occupation of Seren happened 4 and a half years into the war and the diral group training starts when the child is six years old. This shot down the initial assumption but opened up a far bigger avenue for background story possibilities. The possibilities are endless with such an open backstory.

This is the assumed background I based the above 'Beast of Seren' statement.

Fireblade was stranded on Seren with her caregivers who were unable to send her to a Teidar academy at Deinar before the Umiak occupied the planet. Some time later the Umiak begin to gather Loroi children, especially those with unique powers (telekinetics and farseers) but the caregivers protest and violently oppose this throughout the planet, resulting in extended bloodshed throughout the planet. Fireblade and other children escaped to the wild, essentially becoming ferals with a deep seated hatred for the Umiak.

These ferals scrounged for food and in time banded together in their own unofficial diral bands, bands that soon begun to harass the Umiak occupiers. The Umiak occupiers having already taken whatever they needed from the Loroi occupation begun a policy of extermination against the Loroi population and soon the feral bands were joined by other bands made up by stranded warriors and civilians who wanted to escape.

A particular feral band gained extensive notoriety because of their leader, a very strong telekinetic child. This band was responsible for extensive damages and casualties to the Umiak occupiers and the Umiak soon became obsessed with destroying that particular band. The attention the Umiak gave to that particular band allowed other, less prominent bands to remain hidden and largely escape Umiak retaliation. Despite the Umiak attempts that band regularly escaped entrapment, inflicting heavy casualties to the pursuing forces and because of their monstrous leader it became known as the band of the Beast.

Five years after the fall of Seren, in the height of the Semoset campaign the Loroi fleet under Sunfall succeeded in liberating Seren and unearthing what the Umiak had done at the planet. From the 50 million Loroi that called the planet home before it's fall, less than 600.000 remained alive in roving bands that remained hidden even after the planet's liberation. It took some time for the Loroi forces to convince these bands to come out of hiding but the Feral bands that knew only war were troublesome, although they didn't kill any Loroi they didn't know anything else than surviving in the wild and any attempts to convince them to come out were met with non lethal violence. With substantial effort the feral bands were pacified and the band of the Beast shocked everyone with its story and its leader.

The Beast of Seren as that leader became known was an powerful telekinetic, made even more powerful when enraged; the treatment that the Umiak reserved for her band made sure that she would always be enraged against the Umiak. The band was hounded for years, its members picked out one by one, surrender was not an option because the Umiak slowly tortured and butchered any prisoners from that particular band; at its height the band had more than 2.000 feral Loroi but when it was pacified it had less than 200. Survivors proclaimed that they only survived thanks to the Beast who's accomplishments in battle easily equaling if not surpassing the legends of Firestorm and Tempest.

The Loroi government was unsure of what to do with the Beast, few of the other ferals were telekinetic and even those were easy to integrate into the Mizol and Teidar castes. The Beast and the survivors of their band however were deeply scarred by war and many considered them unstable. It was only thanks to the most militant of the Loroi warriors that the members of that band were allowed to choose which caste they would join, their time in the Feral band recognized as an exemplar diral band and the Beast herself was inducted into the Teidar, her accomplishments being lauded throughout the empire and her monicker as the 'Beast of Seren' becoming a legend.

Due to her feral history and her stubborn nature the Beast wasn't an ideal student and certain techniques that required a serene mind eluded her altogether. Despite these failings extensive leniency was given to her due to her accomplishments in battle and unnatural telekinetic strength. When she graduated from the Teidar academy the Beast, having taken the name of Leinnol/Fireblade, was bombarded by requests to join particular units and ships but she chose a particular fleet commander who in turn was known for her stubbornness and aggressive nature.


Of course I added some details as I wrote the above but the gist of the assumptions I made are pretty straightforward and add some depth into Fireblade and perhaps give an extra dimension to Fireblade's actions in the original story. Also it establishes her as a very high point of reference.

This was a creative adaptation of what is known about Fireblade but I know that it is something that will soon break away from canonical material when Arioch deepens her background which is part of the reason as to why I only wrote 'Beast of Seren' in the story, the other part being that if someone in the story doesn't ask about the Beast when a PoV character is nearby then there should be no mention of her.

In my mind I have similar background assumptions for a couple more characters, Loroi history and politics and even future human history.

In the end why did I write all of the above?

Because no one can write a story that they haven't thought through in their head and the above is just an example of creative assumptions I have to take in regards to this story and others I have written in the past.

EDIT: No one said that I went overboard; need to go deeper...

Next up: How Beryl cured Loroi cancer.

EDIT2: I don't want to imagine what Arioch has done in the past to train you people not to bite the bait...
EDIT3: In my defense: It's Sunday and I was bored.
EDIT4: You know, after sleeping and reading it again, it does make some sense but I still think that it goes to far, oh well, it was a productive 20 minutes when I wrote it.

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Sun Apr 19, 2015 6:17 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Hey, that was a good read, but it was posted on a busy day. :P

I don't know about most people, but I usually just check up the forums on a weekdays, in between uni classes and whatnot. Furthermore, that last part about beryl was a bit too outlandish and out of character for you to just post without any follow up whatsoever.

Pretty sure everyone saw it decided to wait and see. Much to your consternation. :roll:


Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:29 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Logannion wrote:
Hey, that was a good read, but it was posted on a busy day. :P

I don't know about most people, but I usually just check up the forums on a weekdays, in between uni classes and whatnot. Furthermore, that last part about beryl was a bit too outlandish and out of character for you to just post without any follow up whatsoever.

Pretty sure everyone saw it decided to wait and see. Much to your consternation. :roll:


I did write it as half serious-half bored fun passtime which is what most of my random ramblings tend to be.

So in short, not to be taken overly serious despite the fact that it does have some merits.

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Mon Apr 20, 2015 1:07 am
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 5, part 1

To be just an outside observer to the first impromptu negotiation between two representatives of Humanity and the Loroi was at first aggravating. In fact he nearly cursed Lieutenant Allerberger at a couple of instances for his approach but he had to concede that things went far better than he initially expected. He would have done things differently but results are results and he had to give the marine at least that much. For the moment the alien diplomat was silent as she ‘talked’ telepathically to the rest of her kind in order for them to prepare their equipment and to inform the two officers that would inspect the marines and the airlock.

A communications alert at his console drew his attention and he let out a sigh when he saw the caller’s ID, knowing that it was something that he had to get over with he accepted the call and the face of Lieutenant Commander Miranda Jacobson, Matveyev’s medical officer, appeared on his screen.

“Captain, I have just been informed that Private Gomez will be treated by the aliens.” She immediately said with an accusatory tone.

“Yes doctor, that is correct.”

“Let’s not play games here captain; everyone was briefed about the potential risks that exposure to alien viral and bacterial micro organisms entail. It’s true that cross species contamination is only a distant possibility but the severe allergic reactions that several Orgus and Humans had when they were infected by alien bacteria are well documented and known. The private’s life will be at risk if he suffers such a reaction at the condition he is in.” The doctor said with enough force in her voice that he was surprised that she didn't jump out of the screen to start yelling at him.

“Lieutenant Allerberger raised that point with the alien diplomat and he was reassured by her that they have the necessary equipment and know how to prevent such a reaction.” Captain Asteios replied almost mechanically.

“I must also inform you that the treatment of abdominal wounds is a very delicate procedure, the biological information that we will send won’t be enough to teach them how to treat such a wound.” Doctor Jacobson insisted.

“The Loroi diplomat has reassured us that the information will be more than enough to properly calibrate their medical equipment.” He hoped that she would take the hint this time.

“We don’t know what kind of medical equipment they have and we can’t put the private’s life on their hands just because they said so. I fully believe that this course of action puts Private Gomez’s life at risk and as ship’s medical officer I request that you belay his treatment by the aliens.” He knew that this was coming and yet for some reason he felt relief at her words.

“Doctor in any other circumstances I would agree with you but let’s not play games here…” He begun dryly.

“But Captain…”

“Doctor, these aliens, the Loroi; are one of the two major combatants of the interstellar war that humanity will soon be flung into. They are telepaths and they are looking an awfully lot like us. In fact ‘Blue Elves’ is the best way to describe them. In addition to this similarity they say that we are somehow immune to their telepathy, we can’t say if that’s true or not but both sides have to address our similarities before we can even begin touching that subject. We have a temporary advantage in our current situation but that doesn’t mean that we can ignore the fact of how much they must distrust us if our telepathic immunity is indeed real; this distrust may turn into something nasty later on unless we set things straight here and now. I would also like you to know that I , the marines and private Gomez himself know that the Loroi insisted on treating him because they want a guinea pig.” He managed to say with a stable but straight voice.

“I know that captain but as a doctor I have to put the well being of Matveyev’s crew at the forefront. For this reason alone I want it put on record that I object to the treatment of Private Gomez by the aliens.”

“That’s your prerogative doctor and I won’t hold it against you. If it makes you feel any better Lieutenant Allerberger will be overseeing the Private’s treatment and you will have a direct line with him.”

“That doesn’t put my mind at ease captain.” The doctor replied dryly.

“Neither does it put mine. In any case I want you ready to analyze the Loroi’s biological information when they send it to us.”

“Yes sir.”

“Is there anything else doctor?”

“No Sir.”

Closing the call he cursed himself for this whole situation. The decision to have Private Gomez be treated by the aliens wasn’t an easy one and he couldn’t say that he agreed with Lieutenant Allerberger completely about it. It was the marines call however and they took it while looking at the big picture.

“It will take a couple of bimas to bring the necessary systems online.” The Loroi diplomat said, drawing his attention back to the screen in front of him.

“How long is a bima?” The Lieutenant asked.

“A Bima is 64 Solons and a Solon is a moment of time, a heartbeat.” The Loroi explained.

“So a couple of minutes, more or less.” The Lieutenant commented. “You systems must be amazing if they can be activated so quickly.”

“Thank you; the Loroi Union prides itself for its advanced technological level.”

“Indeed, do you trade your technology with your allies?” The Lieutenant asked.

“Of course, it’s one of the founding pillars of the Loroi Union, alongside mutual defense and free trade between the Union members.” The Loroi diplomat replied.

I don’t need to be a telepath to sense the buts in that sentence… Captain Asteios thought when he heard that.

“That sounds admirable.” Lieutenant Allerberger replied.

“Many in the Union believe so as well, the same cannot be said about the Hierarchy however.”

“Indeed.”

At least they can sell themselves well to a potential ally even when they distrust them... The Captain thought as he put everything that he heard in order.

“I have to ask about your space suits, do you breathe a different mix of air or are you afraid of an infection?” The Loroi asked.

“The latter, some of the Orgus suffered from severe allergic reactions when they came in contact with some common bacteria, the same happened to humans as well when they too came in contact
with bacteria that the Orgus brought with them.”

“As I already told you, our medical equipment fully negates the risk of cross species contamination and any possible allergic reactions your people may suffer will be quickly dealt with.” The Loroi commented.

Knowing where this was going Captain Asteios activated his comm line to the Lieutenant.

“It’s your call lieutenant, private Gomez will already go through decontamination, one or six won’t make any difference to the procedure.”

The view wobbled a bit as the Lieutenant nodded in acknowledgment and begun to take off his helmet. Thankfully the suit’s micro camera was located at the suit’s torso and the image stayed as it was.

“The air… is stale.” The Lieutenant commented after he took a deep breath and the Loroi diplomat looked perplexed for a second before speaking.

“We had to take measures in order to conserve what little energy reserves we have and as a result our life support systems are working at half capacity.” She replied.

“In that case why have the gravity systems on? If they are anything like ours they consume more energy that the life support systems.”

“Our gravity systems are very efficient, consuming even less energy than our life support systems. As to why, our enemy is known for their monomaniacal pursuit of their target, we use the gravity systems to anchor us in place in case they would bombard the asteroids from a distance in an attempt to find us or even out of spite.”

“In theory the tremors from a nearby explosion would be enough to lift even a ship of that size due to the low gravity.” Captain Asteios commented and the Lieutenant just nodded as the corridor’s lights were suddenly turned on.

Chapter 5, part 2: viewtopic.php?f=4&t=1036&p=18938#p18938

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Last edited by Guest on Tue May 05, 2015 12:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:12 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
It's midnight, I am sleepy and it's the last couple of days of VAT submissions at the office.

Will clean it up tomorrow and I will try to make this chapter a 2 parter.

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Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:16 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Good continuation. :)
Lets see how marines react when they inevitably meet their loroi counterparts.


Mon Apr 27, 2015 9:36 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Logannion wrote:
Good continuation. :)
Lets see how marines react when they inevitably meet their loroi counterparts.


That's exactly why I chose the next PoV character :P

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Mon Apr 27, 2015 10:14 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Author's Random ramblings...

Naming stuff for a second time.

So I am kind in a weird situation...

At first I was ambivalent in having a formal introduction between characters (the first introduction was impromptu, not a formal introduction with the explanation of the caste, warrior rank and spoken name), mainly because of the Loroi Trade names and their literal meanings, at first (for the first few minutes of thinking about it) I intended to use the literal names in the case of an introduction but thinking about it I think that the story would loose some flair if I didn't have a Trade Name (like Leinnol for Fireblade, or Dellasoni for Stillstorm) for some of the Loroi; not mentioning how ridiculous the following would sound: 'Hello my name is Shadowcloud and it means Shadowcloud'.

In case no one has noticed it, no human has called Shadowcloud by her spoken name, in fact the only time they heard of it was at the first impromptu introduction that was covered by Shadowcloud's PoV who knows that Shadowcloud means Shadowcloud (of hell, my head is spinning just thinking about the rewrites that went in that part of the story since at first I intended to just have a formal introduction but as the situation was that would be stupid).

Now that I am about to write a quick formal introduction I have run into the small snag of needing three Trade Language names, in particular for Shadowcloud, Razormist and Longblade.

So using the lexicon I found out the Fireblade's 'Leinnol' trade name is the combination of Fire (lein) and Blade (nol). Stillstorm's name is a little archaic but the Storm (soni) indicates that the only archaic word is the Still. In short I believe that the more colorful names are combinations of the simpler words of Trade.

So here is what I have come up with so far.

Shadowcloud : Combination of Shadow and Cloud which means 'Tigomer' + 'Nial' = Tigomenial. I took the liberty of cutting off the 'r' because the name sounds more fluid and more 'namely' this way.

Razormist : Combination of Razor and Mist which means 'Rimil' + 'Mires' = written as Rimilmires but pronounced with a soft vocal 'i' between the 'l' and 'm' so Rimilimires.

Longblade: Combination of Long and Blade which means 'Sosa' + 'Nol' = Sosanol which is great in and onto itself.

So in short I am at an impasse because of two missing words.

Thanks Arioch

Do I ask Arioch for the trade words for 'Mist' and 'Long'? Or do I come up with something and make a fool of myself later?

EDIT: *Evil laugh*

My plans for word domination continue unabated...

*chokes*

Damn, I guess I will just settle for this:


Arioch wrote:
dragoongfa wrote:
What are the Trade words for 'Mist' and 'Long'?

mires and sosa.

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Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:17 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Chapter 5, part 2

“…tant…reaking up…” Barely audible before the connection was completely lost but he could easily understand what Captain Asteios was trying to say.

“It seems that there is a problem with our communications.” Lieutenant Allerberger said to the Loroi diplomat in front of him as his eyes adjusted to the light.

“I apologize for that but our ship’s ECM systems automatically jamm all unauthorized inbound and outbound transmissions.” She replied immediately. “They are also slaved to our communications and we can’t isolate them.”

“I understand.” He replied after some thought. “But it is imperative that my team maintains contact with our ship.”

“Please wait.” The Loroi diplomat said before going silent for a few moments, which allowed him to study her under some proper lighting. She looked somewhat different that what the emergency lighting led him to believe. Her skin tone was a light shade of cyan, not the pale white he thought at first. Her armor was skin tight, with a mix of greenish, light grey and dark grey plating that was worn over a black bodysuit; while still shining ruby red lights decorated the base of her neck, her shoulders and her wrists. Her hair was pitch black and if he had to hazard a guess they would easily reach her knees if they weren’t meticulously tied up behind her head. What unsettled him however were her eyes, they were hazel and betrayed a keen, calculative intelligence. The way she looked at him did betray some distrust and weariness but also a targeted and unrelenting fixation as if she was deciding how to toy with him.

If it was one thing that looked out of place on her, the empty holster at her left thigh notwithstanding; that would be the oversized black tiara she was wearing, if he could call it that. It looked more like a crown and it covered most of her forehead while the material it was made of was unlike anything else she was wearing.

“The communications specialist tells me that the only way for your communications to function is to have them routed through our communications systems, is this acceptable to you?”

“If there is no other way then it will have to do.” He replied to the diplomat who kept her expression unchanged and just nodded as she heard that.

“Lieutenant Allerberger, do you copy?” Captain Asteios’s familiar voice came in loud and clear; easily carrying his worry with it.

“Yes sir, loud and clear.”

“Your transmission…it’s not coming from the transmitter at the airlock.” Matveyev’s Captain commented.

“Yes sir, our ‘hosts’ have told me that their ECM systems are blocking all unauthorized transmissions and they can’t isolate them from their communications systems. I gave them permission to route everything through their systems in order to circumvent that.” He replied.

“I see…”

“Sir, it’s obvious what they are trying to do; I want to play along and have them admit it.” He said after some thought.

“We can’t have them think of us like fools now, can we?” The Captain replied. “Let’s see how the blue elves react to us yanking their chains a little bit.”

“Yes, sir.” He couldn’t help but smirk as he switched the comm. channel to talk to everyone in his team. “Team, our hosts are eavesdropping, describe them the same way as Gomez did when you talk with each other.”

“What? Blue Elves?” Private Hood asked.

“Yes Private and keep our private conversations only in English even when they are near.”

“Yes, Sir.”

It was then that he noticed the two Loroi that slowly walked towards them from their end of the corridor.

“I believe that due to the circumstances our initial introduction could be described as rude and uninformative; I would like to rectify that.” The Loroi diplomat begun. “I am Mizol Torimor Tigomenial; Mizol is the name of my caste, Torimor is my rank within it and Tigomenial is my spoken name which means Shadowcloud. You can address me as Mizol Torimor or Torimor Shadowcloud.”

“I understand, I am Marine Lieutenant Josef Allerberger, Josef is my personal name, Allerberger is my family name and Lieutenant is my rank. You can address me as Lieutenant Allerberger.”

The two Loroi officers stopped a couple of meters behind Torimor Shadowcloud as if waiting; with a quick glance he saw that they were also female and wore a set of armor that had gold and green plates; while their tiaras were smaller than the one Shadowcloud wore. Both of them had side arms holstered, their holsters also worn on their left thighs. One of them, had long silver hair and her armor’s lights were blue while the other had relatively short brown hair and her armor’s lights were white.

“You said that you are a marine lieutenant? Are you a warrior or perhaps a diplomatic liaison?” Torimor Shadowcloud asked with obvious perplexity.

“Although it’s not exactly accurate you can describe me as a warrior.” He replied, swearing that somehow he managed to surprise her with that but she quickly hid her reaction and turned to the two Loroi behind her.

“These are the two officers that will verify what you told me. They are Teidar Sezon Rimilimires.” The silver haired Loroi nodded at that. “and Teidar Sosanol.” The brown haired Loroi nodded in turn.”They are both of the Teidar caste, the ‘Unsheathed’. Teidar Sezon Rimilimires’s spoken name means Razormist and Teidar Sosanol’s means Longblade.”

“Pleased to meet you.” He said while bowing his head slightly but the two Loroi didn’t say anything; in fact they looked perplexed at the gesture.

“It’s one of the Teidar caste’s many traditions to refrain from vocal speech.” Torimor Shadowcloud said after a few moments of silence.

“I see… but if they have a question how will they ask it?”

“They will let me know and I will ask you in turn.” Torimor Shadowcloud replied as if the answer was obvious. He didn’t know what game the Loroi were playing and he didn’t like it one bit but he decided to remain diplomatic.

“Torimor Shadowcloud, we both know that the only concern I had for this inspection was about the safety of my team and the well being of my injured subordinate. You addressed that concern by agreeing that only two lightly armed officers would inspect my team and the airlock before proceeding to escort your injured comrade and those we unwillingly ‘trapped’ back to your positions. Now you tell me that the officers in question won’t talk with us and that they will only talk through you because of a caste tradition. I believe that this will only invite misunderstandings and waste time, time that I don’t want to waste because of my injured subordinate.” He didn’t know how he did it but he managed to keep his voice even through all that.

“I assure you that any possible misunderstandings will be addressed almost instantly.” Torimor Shadowcloud replied instantly.

“Torimor Shadowcloud, throughout human history even the smallest of misunderstandings sparked disasters. I would have preferred it if you had chosen officers that would be ready and willing to communicate with us but I don’t want to waste anymore time arguing about this. If they are to talk through you then I would appreciate it if you were also part of this ‘inspection’.” She seemed genuinely surprised at that and Sezon Razormist frowned when Shadowcloud glanced back at the two Teidar.

“That is acceptable.” Torimor Shadowcloud replied.

“I appreciate it, please follow me.” He said and turned at the spot, even though he didn’t like showing his back at the Loroi behind him.

“Team, change of plans.” He said in English after activating his command channel. “We got one extra blue elf for a total of three. Two of them have holstered side arms and the third is unarmed.”

“Three blue elves sir?” Sergeant Antares asked.

“Turns out that the two they would send don’t like to talk for themselves and so I asked for the diplomat to escort them as insurance. Needless to say I don’t trust them.” He replied.

“Roger that, three blue elves, not to be trusted.”

“Lieutenant the shuttle carrying the rest of your men is at a holding pattern and will be there in less than a minute if you need them.” Captain Asteios reminded him. It was reassuring to know that there would be a rescue party if things went to hell but for some reason he couldn’t shake the feeling that the Loroi behind him were far more dangerous than they looked. All three of them had an air of confidence that only those who knew that they were overwhelmingly stronger than their opponents could posses. He unwillingly smiled for a few fleeting moments when he wondered if any of the tricks the Loroi had up their sleeves would be enough to stop a SHEAP.

Their end of the corridor that was the center of the standoff ended up at what used to be a junction of two corridors. Emergency blast doors closed two of the four paths but the path to the left was open and when he turned he saw the unconscious Loroi who had been sat up with her back against the wall right past the corner and a little further ahead he saw Private Hood tending to Gomez’s injuries.

“Private.” He said as he passed the unconscious Loroi.

“Sir.”

“Any change?” He asked in Trade so the Loroi behind him could understand.

“No sir, he is stabilized and…”

“I am fine sir.” Private Gomez cut in while lifting his head slightly. He was laid with his back on the floor, his suit’s life support system dismounted and placed next to him; bloodied hand prints clearly visible on it and on his helmet next to his head. With a quick glance he examined the wound, Hood had tore up the suit around it so he could have better access to it before applying some basic first aid by using sterilizing coagulant foam to stop the bleeding but all three of them knew that it was a temporary measure.

“I see that you took off your helmet, Private.” Lieutenant Allerberger joked.

“Just following your fine example, sir.” Private Hood replied.

He chuckled and turned to the Loroi behind him who stood over their unconscious comrade, the three of them were looking at each other, with expressions and gestures that were telltale signs of a telepathic exchange between them.

He glanced over at the unconscious Loroi, he didn’t have time to examine her before, with Gomez’s wound and Shadowcloud’s appearance. Now, under proper lighting it was easy to see why Gomez called her a damned blue elf when he first shed some light on her with his flashlight. She had short green hair and her blue skin was of a deeper hue that the other three he had seen so far. She didn’t wear armor like the others but a formfitting green uniform with no discernible insignia, a uniform that was now stained with Gomez’s blood. What really drew his attention was the completely swollen left side of her face.

“Damn Gomez, did you have to punch her that hard?” He joked in English.

“She stabbed me!” Gomez replied with a pained voice.

“It was only a small knife.”

“This ain’t small!” Gomez protested while lifting the bloodied blade that was next to him.

“…You still punched a girl.”

“With all due respect, fuck you sir.” He couldn’t help but laugh at that before turning to the three Loroi who were staring at them.

“I apologize, I was just making sure that he is well.”

“How is he?” Torimor Shadowcloud asked.

“We applied emergency first aid and stopped the bleeding but it is only a temporary measure.” Lieutenant Allerberger replied.

“I see, then we shouldn’t be wasting any more time.” She replied and nodded to Sezon Razormist who squatted in front of the unconscious Loroi and slapped her hard. The Loroi instantly reacted as if someone had thrown a bucketful of iced water on her. She thrashed for a couple of moments before composing herself and looking upwards towards Razormist who just stared down at her. Another telepathic exchange undoubtedly occurred before the banged up Loroi stood up by herself and stumbled back to her kind’s positions. He couldn’t help but notice that they didn’t help her at all through all this.

“Will she be fine?” He asked.

“She is a warrior.” Torimor Shadowcloud replied dryly.

“I see.”

“I have called for our medic to bring a stretcher, she will bring it here the moment our inspection is finished.” Shadowcloud said after a moment.

“Then let’s not waste any more time.” He replied.

“Of course…” Shadowcloud agreed before turning to look at Razormist. “Sezon Razormist asks what kind of weapons did you bring with you?”

“Six laser pistols and a combat shotgun loaded with non lethal munitions.” Sezon Razormist nodded at that.

“She asks why didn’t your team wear armored space suits? Since you already brought weapons with you.” Torimor Shadowcloud asked again.

“It was agreed that wearing combat armors while coming aboard would be seen as an inherently hostile act; light and non lethal weaponry were allowed solely as a last resort for self defense.”

“That is understandable, although we find it hard to believe that warriors would consent to part with their armors.” Torimor Shadowcloud commented.

“We didn’t like it but orders are orders.” He replied and gestured for the Loroi to follow him.

There were a handful of entrances to a variety of empty rooms at each side of the corridor and the two Teidar meticulously checked each and every room before proceeding. After a few minutes of doing that they reached the beginning of another, smaller corridor, which private Westwood and Sergeant Antares were guarding.

“Sir!” Sergeant Antares greeted him.

“Anything new Sergeant?” Lieutenant Allerberger asked in Trade.

“No sir, the… Loroi hasn’t said anything since she told us that a diplomatic officer would come.”

“Carry on.”

The three Loroi that followed him gave studious glances at the two marines before looking at each other.

“Lieutenant Allerberger, I would like for the Loroi in there to be escorted back to the others before we proceed to the airlock. One of them is a civilian and is terrified of this whole situation.” Torimor Shadowcloud said politely but her tone hinted that she wouldn’t like to hear no for an answer.

“Of course, they were never prisoners, we just wanted to avoid any unnecessary complications.” He replied.

“I appreciate it.”

She looked inside the small corridor and after a moment an other gold armored Loroi stood up with a pistol at hand which she quickly holstered. She waited in place for a handful of seconds as an other Loroi appeared behind her, this one wearing only a black body suit.

The two exchanged a couple of glances before they started walking towards them, with the armored Loroi at the lead. Once the two Loroi reached the impromptu group it was easy to see that the unarmored Loroi was terrified, not even glancing at him and the two marines beside him. The other Loroi was surely another Teidar if he was to judge by her armor and her sidearm. She had an exotic shade of amber for hair color, double the length of Teidar Longblade's, looking at the both of them he realized that they both had white lights on their armor. The only thing that seemed odd was that she didn’t have a tiara like the other two Teidar and Torimor Shadowcloud.

“Both of them seem to be fine.” Torimor Shadowcloud said as the new Teidar and Longblade escorted the Loroi civilian back to their positions.

“My men didn’t harm them in any way.” He snapped back in an instant.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to imply anything, we use ‘seems’ as a formal, polite, term when conversing vocally.” Torimor Shadowcloud replied. “If you wish so, I will try to avoid using that term.”

“I… understand and I would appreciate it in order to avoid misunderstanding each other.”

“As you wish.”

The two groups studied each other from a safe distance as they waited for Teidar Longblade to return before Lieutenant Allerberger realized something.

“Torimor Shadowcloud, you said that Teidar ‘refrain’ from vocal speech, yet the Teidar that just left warned us to stay away from her and informed us that you would approach our position.”

“When she informed me that you told her that you come in peace I persuaded her to do so, hoping to avoid any unnecessary violence.” Torimor Shadowcloud replied.

“Then I will have to thank you because I was the one she warned to stay away from her.” He replied.

“You are welcome, I am just glad that we have avoided the worse.”

“Sir, are all of the blue elves female?” Private Westwood asked in English after a few moments.

“I don’t know, I have only seen females so far, I guess that we will find out soon enough.” He replied.

“Sir.” Private Hood said through the communications channel. “Three blue elves just passed by us, one of them turned and is headed back to you.”

“Stay alert Private, inform me if anything changes.”

“Lieutenant Allerberger, I would like to ask you a question.” Torimor Shadowcloud said when he closed the channel.

“Of course.”

“I have overheard a particular phrase that you and your team have been using in your language and I think that it has something to do with us. What does ‘bloo elves’ mean?” He expected that question but he couldn’t help but chuckle at it.

“Blue is a color and elves are mythological beings that just happen to look exactly like humans, with the only visual difference being that elves have pointy ears, exactly like yours. There are many myths about them but elves are generally described as beautiful, long lived and intelligent people who are masters of all arts, including magic. All of their gifts however made them look down on humans and they always used guile and trickery against everyone they met. The stories always end with humans proving to the elves that trickery doesn’t work and that they shouldn’t be looking down on others because of their numerous gifts."

Chapter 6, part 1: viewtopic.php?p=18978#p18978

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Last edited by Guest on Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:00 am, edited 15 times in total.



Tue May 05, 2015 12:40 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
3.000 words later and chapter 5 is done.

Now I am off to get the new Lost Fleet book, will clean up the entry sometime tomorrow.

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Tue May 05, 2015 12:42 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
That last line... Heh. Probably sounds a bit insulting.


Tue May 05, 2015 2:42 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
Whale wrote:
That last line... Heh. Probably sounds a bit insulting.


I find it...glorious 8-)


Tue May 05, 2015 3:09 pm
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Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Looking forward to the Mirror
I guess that I am going to post a small treat since I am bored at the moment.

Character Outline: Shadowcloud

Caste: Mizol
Rank: Torimor
Age: 262 years.
Height: 1.76 meters or 5.77 feet
Weight: 65 Kilograms or 143 libr
Hair color: Black
Skin color: Light cyan
Eye color: Hazel
Planet of Birth: Taben
Planet that she was raised up: Perrein
Mother's Caste: Listel.
Father's Caste: A male caste with eidetic memory.
Telepathic Potency: High to Very high
Telekinetic Potency: Very High to Extreme; described as monstrous when using an amplifier
Telepathic and Telekinetic proficiency: Best described as Master, some Loroi would call her a Sage.
Number of Children: 12. 11 females, one male. Three of the females and the male pre-war, the rest during the war. All of her daughters successfully became warriors for the Mizol, Teidar or Listel depending on their telepathic, telekinetic or eidetic skills. 5 of them died during the war.

Shadowcloud is best described as a high ranking Intelligence Agent with a penchant for on hands investigations and black ops wetwork.

Her telepathic and telekinetic potential was discovered early in her childhood and her Telekinetic potency caused quite a bit of friction between the Mizol and the Teidar at the time. If she was only a Telekinetic the Teidar would have gotten her but the Mizol pushed for her due to her Eidetic memory. Listel mothers always preferred to have the memory skills of their daughters used for combat related purposes and her mother prefered to have her enter the Mizol caste where she knew that Shadowcloud would use her eidetic memory in ways that she as Listel never would be able. The Teidar generally using their members with Eidetic memories as caste archives and historians instead of intelligence officers like the Mizol do.

At Perrein Shadowcloud became the leader of her diral band, which for the Loroi is more of a curse than a recognition of capability. This was due to her background and the fact that she wasn't a native of Perrein. Regardless of this fact she proved to be an effective diral leader, although she could be described as bullyish in the way she led her band.

After becoming a full fledged warrior she was quickly thrown into the deep end of the Intelligence world. With her eidetic memories she was an excellent spy/analyst while her telekinetic abilities made her a potent martial asset. She quickly made a name for herself for discovering, analyzing and eliminating threats to the safety and stability of the Loroi Empire. It was during this early stage of her life that she became what is best described as a Mizol supremacist.

She quickly drew the attention of high ranking Mizol and former Mizol Torrais, including future Emperor Greywind. She was an early proponent for a deep Mizol investigation into the Umiak hierarchy and was even part of the Mizol delegation that petitioned the Third Loroi Emperor Eighth Dawn for financing and supporting such an operation. The downright insulting way that this proposition was shot down became a bitter memory for her and the other members of that delegation and sparked the beggining of an underground Mizol movement to subvert Eighth Dawn's reign.

Shadowcloud became a key figure of that movement but the beginning of the war marked the postponing and later disbanding of that movement. Eighth Dawn's death and Greywind's ascension became a key political victory for the Mizol but fragmentary evidence of that movement's existence were used as an excuse for the failed coup against Greywind (who may or may not have been part of that movement herself).

After the coup's violent subjugation ShadowCloud joked morbidly that she killed more Loroi then and there than Umiak agents throughout the entirety of the war up to that point. Many expected that she would ascend to the Torrai caste but she herself vehemently opposed this, thinking (rightfully so) that her known Mizol supremacist views and her part in the coup's subjugation could be used against Emperor Greywind. Despite this she continued her exemplar intelligence work, uncovering numerous subversive plots instigated by Umiak agents/sympathizers.

She was a very loud opponent of the Tithric campaign, fearing that the downright genocide of the Tithric would prove problematic later on; she did wish for an exemplary punishment for what she saw as war profiteering by the Tithric but she was a proponent of an occupation and using the Tithric as living shields rather than killing the majority of their population and practically annihilating them as a political entity. During the Semoset campaign even she was shocked to discover how damaging to the Loroi war effort the Tithric issue had become.

After the collapse of the Semoset offensive she was among the many Mizol tasked with maintaining order in the Union and attempting to spy on the Hierarchy. Just before the story begins she was at Tinja sector overseeing the preparation of a deep intelligence operation to the former Umiak-Tithric frontier. An operation that was put on hold due to the disappearance of a Loroi picket squadron deep into former Tithric space.

Fun Facts:

Mizol Supremacist: She sees other castes as sentimental/temperamental fools, with the Listel and Teidar being somewhat better than the others. (she keeps this to herself, most of the time)
She has barely managed to kill more Umiak than Loroi subversive elements.
Prefers a more hands on approach for missions.
Could be described as a mild bully, her motto being: Whatever makes one stronger is acceptable.
She tends to understand the abstract way of thinking of aliens.
Hates Umiak.
Likes Perrein cooking.
Has sparingly visited Taben for recreation.
Really hates Umiak.
She once posed as a Doranzer medic to impress a male.
Did I mention that she really hates Umiak?

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Thu May 07, 2015 11:27 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Wed May 06, 2015 2:07 am
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