Reply to topic  [ 63 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
[Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 01/20/2019) 
Author Message

Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 863
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 06/24/2018)
Been avoiding this one for a while, saving it up to have a good time later.
Also because I wanted to finish reading The Pale Horse before getting into your new story, and thus avoid confusing the two stories in my mind.

So, now to dig into the rest.... :)

Spoiler: show
Also noticed your first post starts with a spelling error:
Disclaimer

dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 1, part 1

[...]

The Union had never agreed on any talks about establishing any forms of passenger and immigration management protocols with the Confederation. Ideally all passengers would be directed to disembark from different umbilicals onto different locations according to their status and destination. It would simplify and expedite everything but the Union had never even agreed to talk about establishing even such a basic arrangement; electing to just demand for the Confederation to work with the Union’s protocols. The Confederation refused to adhere to such heavy handedness and the Union saw fit to just drop every passenger in a single location at the same time, letting the Confederation short sort everyone out. There was only one arrangement put in place and it was a simple one at that: The warriors would always disembark first.

[...]

_________________
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Mon Jun 25, 2018 12:21 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 328
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 06/24/2018)
Great work as usual, dragoon, keep 'em coming.

I would, however, offer a bit of mild critique, if you don't mind, something I find a bit immersion breaking. Basically, you could perhaps file some of Alexandra's rough edges down a little, make her a bit more cultured.

If I understand it correctly, she's supposed to be an ONI counterintelligence officer, supposedly an experienced and talented one, tasked with screening out potential spies. She has to be smart, intelligent and cunning and should know how to handle people in a way as to not antagonize everyone instantly, yet she speaks and acts towards others like a blunt instrument, either like someone of much lower rank, like a marine sergeant or a teidar, or with downright disrespect like some "small-dick brass", acting as the queen bitch of the pack who rules by fear.

She seems to enjoy intimidating and threatening people with her authority for no particular reason, regarding everyone around her as shit, but it comes across as petty and something that is bound to come back and bite her hard. I.e., some regular people with no prior malicious intent would get pissed off with this self important piece of (br)ass and actually seek out mizol agents just to get back at her. Or maybe this is intentional?

Another thing, this time funny though, is the use of "damnable mizol" :) I'm not a native English speaker and I think neither are you, but this sounds too funny for cursing.


Mon Jun 25, 2018 2:34 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 06/24/2018)
Heaven forbid I write characters that don't have some personal flaws :P

In Alexandra's case she is between two worlds in her outlook towards others, she was a browbeaten civilian who was a failure as a warrior whose only 'family/close knit social group' as we humans recognize it was a criminal gang. She lost even that when she was exiled and later earned something greater and unexpected; she elected to 'Reforge' herself to protect what is hers from anyone who may endanger it.

As for antagonizing people, you cannot expect 'Reforged' Loroi to be anything but antagonistic to all warrior caste Loroi, bar the Teidar and that's up to a point. After all their very reason for existing is to be the telepathic shield against a belligerent Union. I should also point out that anyone foolish enough to 'help' a warrior with some 'harmless' intelligence would also draw any superior's ire, not just hers.

In this instance she barged in the restroom for two reasons, the first and the one that was made apparent in this part was to see if someone, usually a Mizol, had the idea of soliciting fellow warriors to seduce males for leverage (for intel and future blackmail). The second one would be mentioned on a future chapter but suffice to say that there have been several instances where men in uniform abused their position to have a 'harem fantasy', several of them ending up being some very public and embarrassing cases. For obvious reasons she doesn't want to be anywhere near such a case.

In short Alexandra's bitch switch goes to the on position when she thinks there is a reason for it and yes, tormenting warriors who annoy her is a valid reason to flip it.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jun 25, 2018 2:58 pm
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 328
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 06/24/2018)
Agreed, god forbid writing a Mary Sue or one's own power fantasy, but Alexandra feels too ham-handed for what she's tasked with, bitchy and disrespectful with her subordinates and even her husband, as I said, sort of the attitude one would expect either from someone who's stuck in a dead-end job he hates, or from small-dick brass living out their power fantasy or tormenting subordinates/civilians while the real brass isn't looking. Too high-ranking to be this blunt, yet not high enough in rank to be a real hard-ass.

She reminded me of a character I couldn't place yesterday, but overnight I remembered :D Don't ask me how I got to this, but she kind of reminds me of Dick Dastardly, the Hanna-Barbera cartoon villain, who's ham-handed, disrespectful towards his associates for no reason, arrogant and incompetent and takes the menial tasks assigned to him by top brass to get him out of the way as something beyond critical. Also the way Alexandra swears (Drat! Those damnable Mizols!) feels like child-proofing of foul language rather than someone from the military, or even better - with a criminal background, swearing.


Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:10 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 06/24/2018)
I think that you conflated things a little. Alexandra can be a bitch when she wants to but so far she has been a bitch towards the two she caught in the restroom. Her attitude with her subordinates will be simple Loroi honesty and she will receive such honest put downs as well. As for her husband he will be given the chance to show how he handles his wife and vice versa

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:04 pm
Profile

Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 863
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 03/04/2018)
Spoiler: show
Only the type of errors Autocorrewkt does not catch...

dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 2, Part 1

[...]

“Then you will have to problem saying no.” Alexandra pointed out, making everyone else laugh, with the hidden Mizol who asked awkwardly joining in after a couple of moments. Another mistake, proving once more that although skilled, the two of them lacked experience in making themselves hidden in plain sight; it was a petty (did you mean 'pity'?) that they had already shaved their heads to pass as civilians but perhaps they could learn something worthwhile from them when they would intimately debrief them on Atlantis.

[...]

“You are paid (interesting, there she is standing in front of the class, and hammering down on them to not copulate for money...) pair bonded with one of them? Why?” Another civilian asked, this one from among the ganger’s ‘students’.

[...]

“The same things I do.” Alexandra replied in irritation for having to state the obvious. “Is there an other question?” ("another question", or "any other question" seems to be a better phrase here. Yours is not wrong, though)

[...]

“No one is really destined to fail, the whole concept of civilians being ‘failed warriors’ is just an obsolete form of societal control because we Loroi couldn’t allow ourselves to know of any other way to control our nature. Failure isn’t really a permanent attribute it’s just a natural temporary state, success and failure at one’s endeavors are both natural; sometimes you succeed in what you do and sometimes you fail. The original failures were just an excuse to deem us inferior because societies always need someone to do the jobs that no one else wants to and who better to do those menial jobs than those who are arbitrarily deemed inferior? My mate once said that we Loroi are all blades that are seeking to be used in war; every single one of us has the instincts of a warrior but a blade of war is just a singular tool and a society needs many other tools in order to be built and run. No one really wanted to be anything other than a warrior but we needed more than just warriors to advance and thrive. Our ancestors forced some of their numbers to do the jobs that no one wanted to do while tricking others into believing their new jobs were still tasks fit of a warrior despite the fact that most of them would never face a real fight in their lives. It was in a way necessary, the caste systems were formed because we Loroi couldn’t form societies otherwise and the system remained largely unchanged because we Loroi couldn’t allow it to evolve but there are many other societal forms in which we can thrive. Humans had similar forms of societal control in their past but they couldn’t abide by them once the reasons that made those forms of control relevant were no more. We now thrive among the Humans in ways that I couldn’t imagine when I was still part of a civilian guild back on Deinar. I was among the first exiles, those who were forcibly sent away because of the political inconveniences we caused. We weren’t allowed to have almost anything on ourselves and we were sent to aliens that the warrior castes had attacked and vilified despite them being the reason the Union emerged victorious from the Great War. We thrived among these aliens because they gave as us a fair chance to thrive. Humans are too much like us to accept other Humans but they gave us a fair chance to thrive and we did thrive. Most of you are here because a Loroi corporation paid for your passage, they didn’t do so out of a sense of charity or goodwill but because they need capable personnel for their business. We believe that you are not destined to fail and those who paid for your passage know that you will pay for yourselves and that you will do so surprisingly quickly which will allow you to seek your own fortune if you so wish. There is plenty of opportunity at the ever expanding frontier and not enough people to grasp it.”

[...]


dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 2, part 2

[...]

“Because they are incompetents. The They let themselves be found out easy enough.”
Astarte pointed out.

[...]

“Competent but still young and foolish, probably believing the tales that we wear the garments of warriors in order to prove something to the warrior castes.” Alexadra Alexandra replied. “Doctrinal self delusions are not easy traps to avoid and acting as if they are fact is a lethal mistake.”

[...]

“Yes, she was Mizol Parat Mistwatch bound for Earth’s embassy. Earth’s Reforged confirmed that she is an old veteran at a message (in a message?) they sent before we jumped out of Mirror.” Alexandra replied. “Another competent Mizol could be among our bunch but Atlantis shouldn’t be a priority. They send all the good ones they can afford to Earth where they can get some prime intelligence. Still, keep the others on alert just in case but since that fool tried to fish us then there shouldn’t be someone smart enough to tell her how stupid her idea was.”


dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 2, part 3

[...]
“In the same way I am angry towards many Loroi, especially the Mizol.”Alexandra snapped back before restraining herself. “To be fair to them there have to be many decent to good females among them, I have even met a few but most human women I have run across are like the Mizol in the way they do things.”
(nipicking here, you're lacking a space after
especially the Mizol." )

[...]

“Indeed and they have been of great help, in their own roundabout ways, when we run (I personally would apply the past tense form "ran" here) into Mizol trickery in the past.” Alexandra replied.

[...]

“Yes. That’s out our primary mission.”

[...]

“Not as rich as the old and most established guilds but they are getting there. Human governments generally keep a hands off approach to their private economies as long as the laws are obeyed and the taxes are paid in time. There is lobbying by the various interest groups but nowhere near the politicking the guilds take part in the Union where they are now at the mercy of the warrior castes and those who have some pull with them. My old guild supervisor is currently far richer than she was before our exile and she isn’t anywhere near the most successful Loroi from those I was shipped with.” Alexandra replied.

[...]

In the end she came to the conclusion that the war generation and their children were just tempestuous, in a near berserk state that sought an outlet, any outlet; normally their elders would see into tempering the over energetic warriors and the then would males slowly but surely calm them and broaden their mental horizons but there simply weren’t enough elder warriors to guide and mentor them, especially among the frontline warriors who were always the ones who led in terms of culture and policy.

[...]


dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 3, part 1

[...]

“She must have figured something out; she is backtracking to check is if someone is following her.” Alexandra whispered as she kept her attention to the ganger’s mental signature about 30 meters to her left.

[...]

Why is it always a Listel? Alexandra asked herself as she saw their legs, the marine was sitting on the toilet seat with his pants down while the warrior was mounting him; with her body suit hanging from her left leg while her armor pieced pieces were littered around their feet. Seeing enough Alexandra just stood up and banged at the stall’s door with all her strength, making the warrior yelp in surprise.

[...]

“Idiots the both of you.” Alexandra said to both of them before turning to the marine. “If I catch you fucking any other Loroi during this trip I will file charges against you.” She then turned to the Listel. “And if I catch you with any other male aboard or with a Mizol I will treat you like a Mizol pawn, give you a good shave and then send you back to the Union about aboard a radioactive waste disposal ship.” The two of them just looked at each other and then at her as she turned to leave. “Have fun for the rest of the way to Atlantis and don’t get attached.” She said as she walked out of the restroom. “False alarm Astarte.”

[...]

“Bug all the access ways to the cargo bays and install some of our own surveillance equipment first thing tomorrow. Then have the ganger followed somewhat sloppily tomorrow and she if she onto something that wasn’t there before.” Alexandra ordered. (I'm not fully clear on what you want to write here, the sentence is... lacking something. I could not come up with a clear solution either, my best educated guess starts with "see if she is onto something...")

[...]

“Of course and they didn’t find anything. The warriors haven’t even activated and any extra equipment yet.”

[...]

She caught herself playing with her wedding ring as she approached her cabin, her mind wandering back to home and all the memories that she and Matthew had produced together. Two months and ten days.


Once again, this turns out to be a very enjoyable read.

I especially liked the way she handled the incident of the Listel and the marine. "Just a Listel being a Listel". Curiosity kills the cat.

Thank you, dragoongfa!

_________________
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Tue Jun 26, 2018 5:09 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/01/2018)
Chapter 3, part 2

Alexandra didn't expect for their impromptu surveillance system to catch the ganger in the very first try but sometimes things just went better than expected.

“There she is!”
Astarte sent with a triumphant tone. “Cargo bay 4-C.”

“How did she get in there?”
Alexandra asked as she went up to the master sergeant’s console.

“Looks like she had the access codes necessary to do that.”
Astarte replied as she tapped in a few commands. “Yes, she had the access codes but… weird, corporate inspector level access… There is no inspector from Atlantis express aboard. How did she get these codes?”

“Can you find out whose codes they are?”


“No, they are not tied with an ID but the system definitely recognizes them as belonging to a corporate inspector.”
Astarte replied as she checked the system. “However the codes were certainly valid when we left Atlantis, we will have to dig into the corporation’s server to see when they were actually validated.”

“I doubt that we would find anything, it’s obvious that they are throwaway codes that will be undoubtedly be erased afterwards.”
Alexandra replied as she thought of the repercussions. “This means that someone rich and connected ordered something important that they couldn’t get through legitimate means.”

“There are plenty of illegal goods that could fill the description but most of them are easily available in the Confederation.”
Astarte thought as Alexandra checked the cargo manifest.

“4-C is where most of the livestock is…”


“Checking on something that lives and breathes would explain the daily visits. But who or what would be important enough for someone to go to such lengths?” Astarte sent.

“A wayward daughter, a disgraced warrior who was owed some favors, a male…”
Alexandra thought. “Probably a wayward daughter, the Mizol would have stopped the ganger before proceeding to tear the ship she was on apart until they would find the warrior or that male.”

“True… should I schedule a sudden cargo inspection tomorrow?”
Astarte asked.

“Yeah but nothing official and on the record; we shouldn’t rock the boat and we don’t know the level of access the ganger has on the ship’s systems. Take a squad first thing in the morning, have the ship’s surveillance system stop monitoring the cargo bays and then check 4-C for whoever she is trying to smuggle in. After that we will grab the ganger and have her explain herself. We will offer the usual arrangements provided that it isn’t something egregious.”
Alexandra ordered.

“Is she good enough to be given such an opportunity?”
Astarte asked.

“She is certainly skilled enough to make a good instructor for new recruits. I would love to ‘Reforge’ her if she is interested in enlisting but I doubt that she wants to be a warrior.”


“Skilled enough for a shortcut to citizenship but she hasn’t shown any tangible interest.”
Astarte thought while nodding.

“Yeah but I am not certain about her yet. She is a ganger and a good one at that so the truth will only come out of her when all other avenues are closed to her.”


“Is there a chance of her doing something drastic if she is cornered?”


“There certainly is a chance for her to do something stupid. Remember that blind trust, loyalty and secrecy are the cornerstones of a successful gang. If she is cornered she may try destroying any incriminating evidence before taking her own life. We will have to plan our moves accordingly but we only need to worry about her cargo for now.”
Alexandra replied while suppressing certain memories that always flared about when a discussion turned this way.

“I know that it is uncomfortable for you but were you truly ready to go to such extremes before?”
Astarte asked with some hesitation.

“Yes… I was. We were all we had and we never betrayed each other. Had there been a need I would make sure that no harm would come to them. No evidence and no memories left behind, that’s the only way to be sure.”
Alexandra replied coldly.

“Then we will have to move quickly and decisively when the time comes.”
Astarte agreed before realizing something. “I think that we should make it clear to her when the time comes that we are not going to hand her over to the Mizol.”

“Indeed, that’s the only bargaining chip we have that will be of interest to her but it must be used at the right time for maximum effect. We have already made it clear that the warrior castes hold no sway over us and the Confederation but a perfectly placed reminder wouldn’t hurt, especially if she has doubts about doing what she believes she must.
” Astarte’s mind lit up in understanding as she sensed the painful memory that Alexandra was trying to suppress.

“Had you ever had someone do…”


“I don’t want to talk about that.”
Alexandra cut the master sergeant’s question before her mind could properly form it.

“I am sorry…”


“Don’t worry about that.”
Alexandra reassured her. “The mind is ever curious and questions just pop out of it without thinking.”

“My mental discipline still needs work.”
Astarte thought apologetically at that.

“Everyone’s still needs work. Now go and brief the squad you want to check things with and get some sleep.”
Alexandra ordered. “And remember: No records on anything.”

Chapter 3, part 3: viewtopic.php?p=31081#p31081

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Jul 01, 2018 12:39 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/01/2018)
Yeah, this part and the next one are going to be among the small ones. I will see if I can post the next part in a couple of days and if I can write down something extra.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Sun Jul 01, 2018 12:43 pm
Profile

Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 863
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/01/2018)
It may be short, but it still contains quite some story movement.

Looking forward.

(and no errors popped at me, so no further comment)

_________________
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:07 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/08/2018)
Chapter 3, part 3

“Nothing?” Alexandra felt the beginning of a migraine form as Astarte reported the fact that she and her squad didn’t find anyone or anything out of the ordinary in their search of 4-C.

“Nothing, only sleeping miros in their livestock containers. We even opened the containers in case someone was wearing an interference suppressor.”

“Did the ganger actually pull one on us?”
Alexandra thought irritably.

“She misdirected us?”
Astarte asked.

“It’s too far-fetched, if she knew that someone was on her antics she would pull back and sit tight, she wouldn’t betray the fact that she has almost unrestricted access to the ship.”
Alexandra pointed out, mostly to herself.

“Then who or what was she visiting every day since we left Mirror?”
Astarte asked.

“Damned if I know… Are you certain that you checked everything?”


“Yes, exactly like you told us. The only thing we didn’t do was dismantle the crates themselves to check their electronics.” Alexandra couldn’t contain a sigh at that.

“Let’s see if she visits 4-C today as well, if she doesn’t then I can only conclude that she was checking for a tail.”


“Didn’t you just say that it was far-fetched?”
Astarte pointed out.

“I am open to suggestions on what kind of game she is playing with the two Mizol.”
Alexandra replied in irritation.

“What if she doesn’t have a cargo?”
Astarte asked after some thought.

“She wouldn’t have left a trail for no reason. She was at 4-C and she must have been there every single day when she did her disappearing act.” Alexandra thought.

“And she was the only one who entered and exited 4-C so she wasn’t meeting some form of a contact.”
Astarte thought.

“Not necessarily…”
Alexandra realized after thinking about it. “Could she be leaving something in some sort of an electronic drop box?”

“No electronics were active beyond the life support systems for the miros containers and now I am certain that we should have checked them.”
Astarte aknowledged.

“I doubt that you would find anything if there is an electronic drop-box or something like that tucked in the circuitry. Not without dismantling everything and having the electronics checked by an expert; the only way to find such a modification is to actually catch her in the act.”
Alexandra thought.

“So we will keep watch on 4-C, the ganger and the two Mizols?”
Astarte asked.

“Yeah, we don’t have anything else to work on.”
The master sergeant just nodded at that.

“I want to have a squad fully kitted and ready for a snatch and grab.”
Astarte added.

“That would be… prudent.” Alexandra admitted after thinking about it for a few seconds. “We have already been tricked once and I don’t want a nasty surprise mishandled because we weren’t ready for anything. Yes, we do need a backup plan and you will be leading it.”

“I will certainly be a nasty surprise for the ganger if she tries something stupid.”
Astarte replied with a self-satisfying smirk. “The two Mizols will be an issue however, they will certainly contact the warriors and they will try to cause a ruckus if we snatch the ganger.”

“We will warn Lieutenant Garnet about the two Mizol and the… potential criminal they are shadowing. He and his marines should be able to keep the warriors in check if he knows that something is afoot.”
Alexandra replied as she rubbed her forehead in irritation. “He will certainly ask questions about why we let a criminal and two spies on the ship despite the fact we identified them from day one…”

“Doesn’t that fall under our prerogative?”
Astarte asked.

“It does but the marines are responsible for the safety and conduct of the warriors so he will not like knowing that we didn’t divulge a potential threat both to the warriors and his men.”


“Ah…”
Astarte’s mind lit up in understanding at that.

“They are big boys but I will apologize for not informing until now and I will remind him that I could still be withholding said information until the whole thing blew over.”
Alexandra thought.

“That should cover that angle. So what do we do now?”


“We keep tabs on the ganger and the two Mizols and see what they do.”


Chapter 3, part 4: viewtopic.php?p=31346#p31346

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:57 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/08/2018)
Another short part, the next one is bigger and actually has some action so stay tuned.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Sun Jul 08, 2018 4:59 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 328
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/08/2018)
dragoongfa wrote:
Another short part, the next one is bigger and actually has some action so stay tuned.


Staying tuned confirmed :D


Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:21 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
Chapter 3, part 4

The ganger didn’t disappear the next four days; she just laid herself uncharacteristically low in the classes and in her social interactions. On the surface it looked like she was just struggling to absorb everything that she was being taught but she betrayed signs of anxious weariness whenever she believed that no one was paying any attention to her; it was as if she was trying to get a reaction out of anyone who was shadowing her which was odd since she undoubtedly had already identified the two Mizol.

The two Mizol were also acting weird, doing their best not to look bothered about something. They were undoubtedly unhappy that their investigation had stalled but the still kept shadowing the ganger although their efforts had been split lately, one of them was always keeping tabs on the ganger but the other one seemed to be investigating on of the ganger’s students, probably in the belief that the civilian might have gleaned something out of her ‘teacher’.

On the fifth day the ganger seemed to have had enough, at least that was what Alexandra’s gut instinct told her so she decided to set up the bust at 4-C and catch the ganger on whatever she was doing there. Astarte and her hand-picked squad would be waiting on standby fully armed and armored, ready to be at 4-C in less than two minutes. Alexandra’s role would be to wait hidden at 4-C, to confront the ganger with whatever she was doing and bring her to their side of thinking unless the situation was such that she would need Astarte’s squad to rush in.
The only downside of the plan was that she would have to wear a full spectrum suppressor, effectively cutting her off from telepathy for as long as she wore it. Thankfully she didn’t have to wait long as the ganger finally showed up in the video feed she was looking at with her datapad but she wasn’t alone; a civilian was with her, walking right behind while holding something at the ganger’s back.

The door to 4-C opened and the ganger reluctantly led her captor to one of the large livestock containers just as the ship-wide fire alarm was sounded. Alexandra took it as a hint that something bigger was afoot and hit the panic button to call in her backup as she observed from the hiding spot. The ganger knelt in front of the container and opened up the panel that accessed the containers life support systems. She reached inside and took out a small box that was connected via a cable to the container’s system; a box that she offered to her captor after disconnecting it.

The civilian took the box and took a step backwards, giving Alexandra a clear look to the short, seemingly wet, blade she was threatening the ganger with. It took a moment for her to recognize the dripper blade, she had seen such a blade only once before and the only reason she was still alive was because she was still of use at the Enforcer who had drawn it on her.

It can’t be an Enforcer.


Alexandra thought as her mind recalled the panic she had felt the last time she had a run in with an Enforcer gang. She drew her sidearm out of reflex and readied herself.

I still have some time before the Enforcer kills her; she will make sure to not leave any evidence behind, they never do and to make sure of that she will have to… wait for her partners. They always work in groups of three for such a cleanup, two were always too few to clean things up and four were always too many to cover their tracks.


Alexandra thought just as the door opened again to let two more Loroi who each carried an unconscious civilian in.

The rest of the team.


Alexandra thought as she stared at them in disbelief before recognizing one of them as the civilian who she had processed right before the ganger; she didn’t really recognize the third Enforcer but her mind was certain that she should be able to recognize her. She tried to remember from where but she couldn’t, her mind throwing up completely unrelated memories at random before she realized that her heart was beating faster and that her hands were shaking.

Damn it… When? For how long?


Alexandra thought as she realized the telltale signs of a deep suggestion resurfacing and the panic attack that was about to hit her.

Not now… Not now… Not now…


She tried to calm her mind and focus herself on the here and now but she just couldn’t stop the panic from rising up. She heard some sort of commotion from where the ganger was but she couldn’t even move her eyes to look at her datapad anymore; she knew that she had to intervene to whatever was happening but her mind and body just wouldn’t obey her anymore.

I am Reforged…


I am Reforged…


I AM REFORGED…


“I AM REFORGED!” Alexandra yelled as she punched the container she was hiding behind with her right fist, the pain of her fracturing knuckles pushing her mind back from the bring a moment before she jumped out of cover with her blaster drawn.

“Everyone halt.” She yelled in trade as she took in the situation again. The ganger had somehow produced a knife of her own and threatened the enforcer who had brought her in with it. “No sudden movements and none of you pretend that you don’t understand Trade!” Alexandra ordered as the three enforcers glanced at each other before turning their attention to Alexandra, the ganger and the weapons they held.

“Don’t even think of it, your target is unattainable now!” Alexandra yelled at them.

“We don’t think so!” The one who had brought the ganger in said dryly as the other two made to drop the two unconscious civilians they carried to the floor.

“Keep holding them.” Alexandra ordered as she saw that, making sure to move into a position to be able to aim at all three of the enforcers. “Not one of you needs to die today.”

Alexandra sensed a feint electric current zap her head as she said that, the ganger stumbling backwards at the same time but still managing to stay standing despite the mental spike she was subjected to.

“You can’t punch through an interference suppressor Enforcers, even if you think you can because you see me.” Alexandra said as she shifted her aim between the three of them.

“We have an assignment… warrior.” The same enforcer who spoke before said.

“Your assignment is now untenable, consider the alternatives.” Alexandra said dryly.

“There are no alternatives.”

“I got a blaster drawn, I have all of you in my sights and I say that there are alternatives to you dying like fools while attempting to kill her.”

“Such as?”

“How about you surrender to me?”

“That’s not an alternative.” The enforcer spat back.

“I won’t hand you over to the Mizol, you are of use to us.” That seemed to catch them by surprise but they all recomposed themselves. “I am pretty sure that you now know that we are welcoming gangers in our ranks, enforcers aren’t excluded.”

“You truly want to recruit us as warriors?” The enforcer didn’t seem to believe that.

“Yes, I want you to be Reforged.”

“And what makes you think that we want to be warriors?” Alexandra’s comm unit buzzed in her ear as a warning and she switched her blaster to stun for what was about to happen.
A moment later the doors to the cargo bay burst open, Astarte and her squad rushing in with their blasters aimed and at the ready. Alexandra fired her blaster at the lone enforcer in front of her, the two electrostun shots hitting her hitting her in the torso before she could even realize what was happening. Astarte’s squad immediately stunned the remaining two enforcers who stumbled down with their two unconscious victims.

“Drop it!” Alexandra ordered the ganger as she turned to aim at her, the ganger just looked stupefied at everything that had just happened for a second before Astarte who was rushing towards them took the initiative and telekinetically knocked the drawn knife off her grip.

“Check their mouths, rip off any tooth that isn’t natural! Break their jaws if you have to!” Alexandra ordered as she deactivated her suppressor, just like the rest of her reforged were busy doing.

“You, I want answers and I want them now; your well-being rests solely on your truthfulness.” She sent to the ganger who was still dizzy from the mental spike she received mere moments ago.

“Yes, I will comply.
” The ganger replied as she stared wearily at both Alexandra and the heavily armored Astarte.

“What did you do to warrant an Enforcer hit on you?”


“I run away after my gang was caught on Deinar.”
The ganger replied truthfully.

“What kind of gang?”
Alexandra pressed.

“We were a medical gang that guaranteed impregnation after a mating encounter for those who could afford our services. I handled transportation and equipment procuring.” Alexandra recalled the small box that the ganger had given to her now unconscious captor.

“Was what you gave her related to your gang?”
She asked as she kneeled next to the unconscious enforcer who was having her mouth probed by one of Astarte’s squad.

“Yes.” Alexandra picked up the box and winced as her subordinate ripped out a pair of fake teeth out of the enforcer’s mouth.

“Will we have to check your mouth and the rest of your body as well?”


“No, I didn’t take my last resort with me.
” The ganger replied truthfully.

“Is this box booby-trapped?”
Alexandra asked as she examined it, it looked like a standard reinforced lockbox much like the ones she used to transport in her ganger days but it felt somewhat heavy and there was a power connector on it.

“Yes, rigged to destroy the contents if it is opened the wrong way, if its power runs out or if I don’t check within a span of eight days.”
The ganger replied.

“Defuse it and open it.” Alexandra instructed as she gave it to her before turning her attention to Astarte. “Watch over her while I manage this mess.”

She walked up to the rest of the squad who were busy handling the three enforcers and the two civilians they had dragged with them.

“Make sure that the enforcers are fully checked for any possible weapons and fully restrained. I don’t care if they only wear their underwear and their cuffs if you have to make sure.”
She ordered as she took a close look at the two unconscious civilians, finally realizing that they were the two undercover Mizols. “The idiots who lost the two Mizols from their sight are going to be on latrine duty for the rest of the trip to Atlantis.” Alexandra sent angrily as she stood over them and the squaddie who was checking up on them.

“How are they?”


“Drugged and knocked out cold.”


“Good, get these two to the infirmary and inform the others and the marines that we will put the ship in lockdown in about 10 minutes, don’t inform them as to why.”
She ordered and two of her reforged immediately picked up the two Mizol and trotted away.

“You.”
Alexandra turned to another of her subordinates. “I want you to get four full spectrum suppressors from our armory and have them here in five minutes.”

With the preparations to cover this mess up underway Alexandra turned her attention back to the ganger and Astarte who was standing watch over her.

“Are you done opening it?”
She asked as she walked back to them.

“Almost…here…”
The ganger opened the box and turned it over to Alexandra to look inside, the box was actually a small portable cryogenic freezer which contained sixty four cryo-ampules.

“Sixty four?”


“Yes, all of them from different males. These are all I could safely grab.”
The ganger replied.

“What? How did you get them at the first place?”
Astarte asked in an instant but Alexandra cut the discussion off before it could even start.

“Not now, we will have her explain herself later and don’t even dare to think about what you just saw around anyone.”
Alexandra ordered before turning her attention to the ganger. “As for you, you will not be handed over to the Union but I expect your full cooperation no matter what happens.”

Chapter 4, part 1: viewtopic.php?p=31745#p31745

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Sun Jul 29, 2018 12:15 pm, edited 7 times in total.



Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:15 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
Sorry for the delay, the writing prompts story just got my interest. I will make sure to keep this story going no matter what though.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:19 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 1:27 pm
Posts: 519
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
Ok, stakes just rose through the roof.

Spoiler: show
But seriously, this sperm getting to human lands means war, whether the Union learns of this now or when the first Loroi children are born.


Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:51 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
That's a major plot point of both this and the next story so... :P

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:58 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:53 am
Posts: 328
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
Bravo. I was expecting them to find a live loroi male in stasis, but this way is much simpler.

But indeed, Alexandra now has quite the Catch-22 in her hands.

And who the hell are the Enforcers? Just another gang, or government black ops?


Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:03 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
It will be fully explained later but in essence they are a type of gang that 'settles' disputes between gangs, handles assassinations and cleans up the mess when a gang gets busted. This usually involves plenty of 'accidents' and dead body disposals.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:09 am
Profile

Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:32 am
Posts: 30
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
I was curious as to the premise of the story and did a few mins of research, came up with this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-79711/We-create-babies-men-claim-scientists.html Is it assumed that Loroi cannot reproduce without male sperm? That seems kind of low tech doesn't it? I'd imagine they'd do w/e they had to do to get pregnant, including cloning if necessary, at least for a while. Great story btw, keep up the awesome work!


Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:17 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
It is not farfetched for the Loroi to not be able to reproduce without male sperm, it is my assumption that the lopsided male to female ratio was to serve as a long term population control by the Soians to their telepathic race. The subservient Loroi easily bypassing this due to a low level trick would be counter to such a design so there could be plenty of failsafes put in place to minimize the risk of unwanted growth.

We are going into minor spoiler territory here however so read at your own risk:

Spoiler: show
There have been Confederation led experiments with cloning, the clones however were considered to be unviable for a number of reasons; low clone viability (not just in gestation), the biological age of the clones being the age of the mother's and the fact that enhanced psionic powers weren't exhibited by the successfully gestated clones that reached maturity.
With everything taken into account the cloning experiments were branded a dead end for research as they did not produce the end result that was desired: Individuals with enhanced psionic abilities for telekinetic and farseer class research.
Current avenues of research have taken a radical turn.
Also make no mistake, the Confederation is certain that the war with the Union is inevitable as they don't consider the Union capable of accepting an advanced and independent Terran interstellar state to be a desirable neighbor due to the Human Lotai and the havoc human fleets would cause with a second 'Lotai incursion' of their own.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:17 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/29/2018)
Chapter 4, part 1

Several decades ago it would have been really bad for both her physical and mental wellbeing to be the one having to explain to a Mizol what happened and who is responsible but that was then and this is now.

“As I have already told you the criminal investigation is still underway and as such I cannot divulge any information about the incident.” Alexandra repeated dryly and Mizol Losat Redmoon finally got it through her thick skull that she wouldn’t get any details about the investigation any time soon.

“As a diplomatic and legal representative of the Union I would also like to question the four suspects in your custody.” The Mizol continued.

“All four of these suspects fall under the jurisdiction of Confederation law and as such I cannot allow any Union representative access to them unless the suspects themselves ask to meet such a representative.” Alexandra said with the same dry voice which apparently served to further annoy the Losat who was trying her best to not glance at the Marine Lieutenant who sat between the two of them, there to serve as both an observer and a chaperone for the duration of the meeting.

“All four of them are Union civilians who are wanted for questioning in regards to their criminal activities. As a legal representative of the Union I demand access to all four of them and your help to arrange for their transport back to the Union.” The Mizol replied with a forced steady voice.

“It is within your rights to make such demands but I have no authority to make such a decision nor there is any treaty about the cooperation of our police forces and the automatic extradition of suspected criminals to each other. I will forward the Union’s demands to the appropriate Confederation authorities when the ‘Lucky dime’ reaches Earth to deliver the suspects in question to the regional immigration headquarters for processing according to Confederation law and interests. Until then I will follow the rules and regulations I have sworn myself to abide by and as thus I will not allow you and any other Union representative to meet any suspect in our custody without their expressed desire to meet a Union representative.” Alexandra said with her most formal and diplomatic tone, it was obvious that the Mizol didn’t like that but she would like the next part even less, especially if Alexandra was right and the Mizol was indeed well over her head. “To continue I would like two know why two Mizol agents entered the Confederation illegally and ended up caught in the incident in which the four suspects in our custody were apprehended.” The Mizol’s mind flared up briefly at that before becoming fully guarded again.

“The two agents in question were tasked with the surveillance of a suspected criminal by orders of Minzan sector intelligence. Said suspect is currently in your custody.” Alexandra was genuinely surprised at that as she half expected the Mizol to throw the two agents under the proverbial bus but instead she elected to spill some harmless information to cover them somewhat. Alexandra just nodded at that and waited for a couple of seconds before replying.

“I understand but as I told you already the Confederation and the Union have not signed any treaty about the cooperation of our police forces and as such the two agents in question as not covered by the Confederation’s diplomatic immunity laws and they will be expelled back to the Union after being tried for illegal entry into Confederation territory.” Alexandra paused again for effect at that before giving the Mizol a bone to keep the warriors off her hair on the way to Earth. “However I do have the legal discretion to release them to a Union diplomatic representative pending their trial and since, by your admission, the agents involved were part of a police investigation I have no problem in doing that; provided of course that the representative in question vouches and assumes legal responsibility for them for as long they are under their supervision.”

“Yes, I would like for them to be released under my supervision and I will sign all the necessary paperwork involved.” The Mizol agreed without even thinking about it.

“Good, I will see to the necessary paperwork for their release.” Alexandra said as she stood up. “With this I consider this meeting to be closed.”

“I understand.” The Mizol acknowledged as she stood up and left.

“I half expected you to keep the two warriors detained all the way to Earth.” Marine Lieutenant Garnet commented as the doors slid shut behind the Mizol Losat.

“Not worth the hassle to do that, I would have to keep them under guard all the way to Earth and the warriors would be constantly pestering us both about them. This and the issue with the four criminals we caught is beyond my pay grade, I will just get them all to Earth and have the powers that be decide about all six of them.” Alexandra replied.

“Any idea what the criminals were doing in the cargo bay?” The marine asked at that.

“Not really.” Alexandra said nonchalantly with a shrug. “From what I gathered they are from competing gangs on Deinar and they wanted to solve a few ‘debts’.”

“And there I was thinking that inherent Loroi telepathic honesty would preclude Loroi criminality.”

“What’s the expression? If there is a demand there is going to be a supply? There are plenty of things Loroi of all walks of life want that are otherwise forbidden which fuels a relatively small criminal underworld, when compared with other races that is.” Alexandra explained.

“Makes sense, I am just glad that you will pass the ball upstairs and won’t make my life any harder for the rest of the way to Atlantis.” Lieutenant Garnet commented.

“We don’t need the headache about things that are above our pay grade; just make sure that your men don’t cause a mess that will warrant me getting an even bigger headache.” Alexandra said.

“My men know how to be professional.”

“Oh really?” For a moment Alexandra brought the incident at the men’s bathroom almost a week before and couldn’t help to form a mischievous smile on her face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The marine asked with obvious annoyance.

“It means that we both know each other’s base natures, some things are bound to happen if they haven’t happened already and it will be at everyone’s best interests if things are kept discreet and unrecorded.” Alexandra said dryly.

“The Harem king…” The marine muttered with a sigh.

“The latest from among the noteworthy incidents.” Alexandra agreed. “And the reason they might actually introduce flogging as punishment for disciplinary infractions.”

“That’s just talk, they won’t go that far.”

“Hello, I am sergeant Douchebag and today I will have a nice and tight Doranzer; watch me as I show her what she has been missing all her life.” Alexandra said with the most sarcastic voice she could manage as she remembered the fight she had with Matthew after he caught him watching one of those widely circulated underground videos that had caused an uproar years ago.

“Alright, you made your point, I doubt that my men are that kind of criminally stupid but I will keep an eye on them.” The marine conceded.

“That’s all I ask.”

Chapter 4, part 2: viewtopic.php?p=31995#p31995

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by Guest on Sun Aug 12, 2018 2:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Sun Jul 29, 2018 12:14 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/29/2018)
Late for two reasons:

Taking part in the 'writing prompts' story :mrgreen:

And because parts after this one require a restructuring and a rewrite.

Also, it's weird setting the stage up for stuff that will happen in the next story.

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Sun Jul 29, 2018 12:18 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 1:27 pm
Posts: 519
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/29/2018)
Good thing Alexandra totally managed to fool that Mizol. I'm sure the matter is settled now.


Sun Jul 29, 2018 12:54 pm
Profile

Joined: Wed May 20, 2015 2:14 am
Posts: 863
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 07/16/2018)
Spoiler: show
dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 3, part 4

[...]

The two Mizol were also acting weird, doing their best not to look bothered about something. They were undoubtedly unhappy that their investigation had stalled but the they still kept shadowing the ganger although their efforts had been split lately, one of them was always keeping tabs on the ganger but the other one seemed to be investigating on one of the ganger’s students, probably in the belief that the civilian might have gleaned something out of her ‘teacher’.

[...]

It can’t be an Enforcer. (I think there should not be a new paragraph here.... The next few paragraphs too have an unusual thought patern, new paragraph, "Alexandra thought"...)

Alexandra thought as her mind recalled the panic she had felt the last time she had a run in with an Enforcer gang. She drew her sidearm out of reflex and readied herself.

[...]

“I AM REFORGED!” Alexandra yelled as she punched the container she was hiding behind with her right fist, the pain of her fracturing knuckles pushing her mind back from the bring brink a moment before she jumped out of cover with her blaster drawn.

[...]

“And what makes you think that we want to be warriors?” Alexandra’s comm unit buzzed in her ear as a warning and she switched her blaster to stun for what was about to happen.
A moment later the doors to the cargo bay burst open, Astarte and her squad rushing in with their blasters aimed and at the ready. Alexandra fired her blaster at the lone enforcer in front of her, the two electrostun shots hitting her hitting her in the torso before she could even realize what was happening. Astarte’s squad immediately stunned the remaining two enforcers who stumbled down with their two unconscious victims.

[...]
dragoongfa wrote:
Chapter 4, part 1

[...]

“It is within your rights to make such demands but I have no authority to make such a decision nor there is is there any treaty about the cooperation of our police forces and the automatic extradition of suspected criminals to each other. I will forward the Union’s demands to the appropriate Confederation authorities when the ‘Lucky dime’ reaches Earth to deliver the suspects in question to the regional immigration headquarters for processing according to Confederation law and interests. Until then I will follow the rules and regulations I have sworn myself to abide by and as thus I will not allow you and any other Union representative to meet any suspect in our custody without their expressed desire to meet a Union representative.” Alexandra said with her most formal and diplomatic tone, it was obvious that the Mizol didn’t like that but she would like the next part even less, especially if Alexandra was right and the Mizol was indeed well over her head. “To continue I would like two to know why two Mizol agents entered the Confederation illegally and ended up caught in the incident in which the four suspects in our custody were apprehended.” The Mizol’s mind flared up briefly at that before becoming fully guarded again.

[...]

“I understand but as I told you already the Confederation and the Union have not signed any treaty about the cooperation of our police forces and as such the two agents in question as are not covered by the Confederation’s diplomatic immunity laws and they will be expelled back to the Union after being tried for illegal entry into Confederation territory.” Alexandra paused again for effect at that before giving the Mizol a bone to keep the warriors off her hair on the way to Earth. “However I do have the legal discretion to release them to a Union diplomatic representative pending their trial and since, by your admission, the agents involved were part of a police investigation I have no problem in doing that; provided of course that the representative in question vouches and assumes legal responsibility for them for as long they are under their supervision.”

[...]

“Oh really?” For a moment Alexandra brought thought of the incident at the men’s bathroom almost a week before and couldn’t help to form a mischievous smile on her face. (the sentence seems to be lacking something)

[...]


Finally got around to reading the new episodes.

So, 64 males as (unknowing) founders of a Union-independent Loroi population?

Not as bad as our own Human genetic bottlenecks have been. Especially thanks to the large variety of females...

And it is nice that someone recognizes this as going well above her pay grade.

Very good read, once again.
Thank You, dragoongfa!


Werra wrote:
Good thing Alexandra totally managed to fool that Mizol. I'm sure the matter is settled now.

I'm not so sure.
We do not know how much the Mizol knew, and whether the Mizol is just lying low about her knowledge.
Once she gets hold of her two operatives, she has more possibilities to start getting back strategic Union "property"....

_________________
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123


Mon Jul 30, 2018 12:43 am
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:26 pm
Posts: 1623
Location: Athens, Greece
Post Re: [Fan Fiction] Reforged (Updated 08/13/2018)
Chapter 4, part 2

“And you didn’t realize that she was an enforcer until she actually pulled her blade at you?” Alexandra asked.


“No I didn’t.” The ganger replied, her expression and body language betraying her anxiety and tension. “Do I have to keep wearing this contraption?”

“Yes.”

“Can I at least take it off when I am sleeping?”

“No.”

Full spectrum suppressors weren’t a new design; the first ones were produced right after the Mezan expedition more than a millennium ago but they never saw much use, not because they didn’t work as intended but because they worked exactly as intended by directly interfering and suppressing the telepathic abilities of whoever wore one.

The design was simple enough, comprised by three pieces that connected with each other when worn. The forehead piece was very much like an amplifier, worn as a crown and held in place with straps, the second piece was worn at the base of the skull, covering it whole while it connected with the forehead piece with wires that run from behind the ears and up to the forehead. The final piece was worn under the clothes and over the spine, flexible enough in order not to hinder the wearer’s movements and held in place by suction force while it directly connected itself with the piece worn at the base of the skull.

The suppression method was simple enough but disconcerting to all Loroi who wore one. It didn’t minimize the telepathic potential like a regular suppressor would; instead it caused the wearer’s telepathic potential to create a self-contained jamming field by amplifying and suppressing their powers at the same time, creating an out of control telepathic noise that almost matched the human Lotai in its effects.

These suppressors were at first intended to be used on extremely dangerous prisoners but the problem was that the artificial Lotai made handling such prisoners difficult since the vast majority of guards couldn’t be counted to watch over their prisoners without relying on their innate telepathic talents.

The Reforged had been extensively trained while wearing such suppressors and Alexandra still remembered how mind numbing the telepathic noise was the first few weeks.

“One thing I would like to know is how you got the access codes necessary to roam this ship freely.” Alexandra asked as she tapped the small evidence bag that contained the data card they took out of the ganger’s provided for tablet.

“I was given the card by the gang that arranged my passage. They told me that it contained codes to access most areas on any human civilian ship.” The ganger replied.

“A gang arranged for your passage?”

“Yes, they came to me when I was hiding. They told me that they could arrange for passage to human space provided that I could make it worth their while.”

“The semen…” Alexandra said out loud.

“Yes, that was the only thing they were interested in. I told them that I wasn’t sure that I could get to the samples with most of the gang captured, dead or in hiding but they wouldn’t help me otherwise. I knew that our storage room and its vault hadn’t been raided yet but I thought that they were just waiting for someone to show up. No one was waiting; I took what I could and started a fire to destroy the rest.” The ganger said.

“The Mizol had yet to break the ones they captured.” Alexandra commented.

“That’s what they thought as well.” The ganger begun. “They arranged for my passage and for the means to preserve my cargo. It worked well at first by the cryo container stopped charging two days before we reached Mirror, the connection wasn’t stable and I had to check it regularly after that.”

“Your regular visits to the cargo bay, you had to make sure that your cargo was still intact.”

“Yes, the cargo would self-destruct if the container run out of power. I had to make sure that it was properly powered but someone triggered a silent alarm that was planted on the Miros container by opening it.” The ganger continued.

“That was us trying to find your cargo, I had you under watch since the moment I first laid my eyes on you.” The ganger’s eyes grew wide at that. “My gang specialized in transportation, I knew what to look out for.”

“…I had to check the cargo but I knew that someone was on to me. I waited for days before deciding to go for it, either I would be caught or I would keep going as I was.”

“And then the enforcer made herself known…” Alexandra added.

“Yes… the gang was caught and the enforcers were called to destroy the evidence left behind and silence all witnesses according to the pact. She was about to kill me but they didn’t know about the cargo, she realized this and had me bring her to it.”

“All evidence would be destroyed and all witnesses silenced…” Alexandra said out loud before realizing something. “Did you notice any Mizol surveillance on the way to Mirror?”

“…Yes… I thought that they were on to me and that I would be grabbed at any solon but they were just observing all of us without bothering anyone.” The ganger replied after a few moments of thinking about it.

“Bait…” Alexandra said at that. “You were bait! Did the Mizol give any hints of them suspecting you of having a cargo?”

“No, I know that they never checked the container but I had to check on the cargo every few days. I was certain that I wasn’t followed or witnessed but…”

“But they are Mizols… Were you told to whom you would deliver your cargo to?” Alexandra asked.

“No, they told me that someone would approach me soon after we would arrive at Atlantis. They would ask if I had ever read the works of William Shakespeare and I would reply with ‘Yes but I have yet to start reading a Dream of Spring’.” The ganger replied.

“William Shakespeare?”

“Yes, is he an important person?”

“He was an important person, long before humans reached the stars but…” Alexandra made to reply but she remembered something in mid-sentence which made her take out her personal tablet and look into some random notes she had written down after her briefing about the acclimation routing.

Potential keywords… Recent top chart singers and unrelated songs, Recent Olympian tournaments and old champions, Ancient writers and unrelated literary works… Alexandra read and her eyes froze in place at the last part.

“Is something the matter?” The ganger asked after a long silent moments.

Beyond the fact that this is well and truly above my pay grade? Alexandra thought before replying.

“The Confederation has an underground network in place to help persons of interest fleet the Union. The greeting and your response match the general outline of the keywords this underground currently uses.” Alexandra replied as she hid her tablet away. “The gang that sent you were probably Confederation agents and the one who would approach you would probably be one of my superiors.” The ganger’s eyes went wide again at that.

“I had thought that you would be the one who would approach me because of the attention you and your warriors put on me and the two Mizols that followed me but no one said the greeting.”

“I and my warriors got interested because you and the two Mizols drew our attention to you and information about the underground and the code phrases is strictly need to know. I am a low level officer, I wouldn’t have been loosely briefed about this if I wasn’t in command of this acclimation mission and I was told that a special officer would be attached to us if such a passenger was expected.” Alexandra replied before deciding to change the subject. “In any case this is something that I will have to look into on our way to Earth. What I want to know revolves around your cargo and how you secured it without the caretakers realizing anything.”

“Our gang specialized in ensuring an impregnation after an approved of mating encounter, we didn’t just impregnate anyone who could afford us. They had to have mated before we could help them. We would extract the stored sperm from them a day or two after the encounter and we would trigger the reproductive system to ovulate with a hormonal treatment. Once the client was ready we would extract an ovum from them, inseminate it with the recovered sperm and then implant it. As far as the caretakers and the system were concerned our clients got impregnated in their mating encounter without outside interference.” The ganger explained.

“Sounds simple enough…” Alexandra replied as she took everything in. “Why save the recovered sperm?”

“The viability of the recovered sperm isn’t always certain for a variety of reasons. If we couldn’t use the sperm extracted from our client then we would use the sperm in our vault, provided that we had a sample from the same male our client had mated with.”

“Makes sense, did you also allow them to select the sex of the child?” Alexandra asked.

“Guaranteeing the insemination of a male was a premium service that we sold to our more influential clients. Our regular clients had to draw a lottery with the same odds as a natural insemination.” The ganger replied, drawing a nod of understanding our of Alexandra.

“I see… Do you believe that the Mizol weren’t even aware of your vault?”

“I don’t know. I know for a fact that the first ones who were caught were our two client hunters. They knew how our gang was structured and that we had a storage room with a vault but they didn’t know the medical details or the inventory. The doctor of our gang who was also our leader took her last resort when the Mizol tried to capture her and she knew everything there was to know. Her assistants went to ground and I hadn’t heard from them after the warning came out.” The ganger explained as best as she could.

“How many gangs did you cooperate with?” Alexandra asked.

“Several… We had to launder our earnings and secure our equipment in an untraceable way. These kinds of gangs were the ones I worked with. I hadn’t ever met any of our clients but some of them must have been gangers themselves.”

“No wonder that the enforcers would come this far to ensure that the pact would be upheld…” Alexandra connected. “A well connected gang caught and dismantled. Pact or not the other gangs and the richest of your clients would pay good money to ensure that any traces of their involvement would be gone.”

“The others must be dead then…” The ganger commented dejectedly.

“Yes, the pact isn’t ambiguous when it comes with the safe guarding of the entire underworld.” Alexandra said at that. “However you are still alive and we have your would be assassins in the brig, you are safe from here on out.”

“What will happen to me?”

“I don’t know, normally you would be processed and given a new identity but the enforcers and the mizol have complicated things. I will make sure that you and your cargo are delivered to the proper authorities and they will be the ones who decide.”

Chapter 4, Part 3: viewtopic.php?p=32803#p32803

_________________
My fan fics:

Looking forward to the mirror (Delayed editing)
Reforged (Irregular updates)
The Pale Horse (Completed, could use some editing)


Last edited by dragoongfa on Sun Oct 14, 2018 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sun Aug 12, 2018 2:28 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 63 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.