Writing Prompts

A spot for collections of Outsider-related original fan fiction and related works.

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sunphoenix
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by sunphoenix »

OH Goodness... I'm lovin' the Hell out of Beacons! Some inspired and amazing writing!!! Thank You ALL!!!
PbP:
[IC] Deep Strike 'Lt' Kamielle Lynn
[IC] Cydonia Rising/Tempest Sonnidezi Stormrage
[IC] Incursion Maiannon Golden Hair
[IC] TdSmR Athen Rourke

"...you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is Kill him."

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sunphoenix
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by sunphoenix »

Ok... now I'm waiting for the next installment of Beacons! :)

As a observation...you have developed the story quite nicely.. though you have not gone back and conjectured on who or what destroyed the Bell... the defining of the Lotai Void Intelligences that likely aboard Umiak ships is something potentially linked ...it makes clear something 'New' has been developed or "given" to the Umiak... by 'agency unknown'.. perhaps this 'unknown agency' Specifically tried to keep humans from contacting the Loroi Directly because of how powerful human telepathy could potentially be? Hence the destruction of the Bell. Be nice if you addressed this mystery. :)
PbP:
[IC] Deep Strike 'Lt' Kamielle Lynn
[IC] Cydonia Rising/Tempest Sonnidezi Stormrage
[IC] Incursion Maiannon Golden Hair
[IC] TdSmR Athen Rourke

"...you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is Kill him."

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sunphoenix
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Location: Indianapolis, IN

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by sunphoenix »

Tee-Hee! Thank Novius... fix enjoyed! :)
PbP:
[IC] Deep Strike 'Lt' Kamielle Lynn
[IC] Cydonia Rising/Tempest Sonnidezi Stormrage
[IC] Incursion Maiannon Golden Hair
[IC] TdSmR Athen Rourke

"...you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is Kill him."

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

@Werra, not what I had in mind with occupying Alex for the foreseeable future but I can make due :P

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Working for the next part of Beacon's, RL issues had come in the way of things but I am on it. Expect it one of these days and it looks like it will be meaty in terms of size.

entity2636
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by entity2636 »

Looking forward to it 8-) Good luck and lots of inspiration!

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sunphoenix
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by sunphoenix »

SWEET!!! Can't Wait!!! :)
PbP:
[IC] Deep Strike 'Lt' Kamielle Lynn
[IC] Cydonia Rising/Tempest Sonnidezi Stormrage
[IC] Incursion Maiannon Golden Hair
[IC] TdSmR Athen Rourke

"...you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is Kill him."

Kensai
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Location: Auburn PA

Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Kensai »

dragoongfa wrote:Working for the next part of Beacon's, RL issues had come in the way of things but I am on it. Expect it one of these days and it looks like it will be meaty in terms of size.

My po' self is still eagerly awaiting your next writings.

Meanwhile, I still agonize over my small contribution to this forum which is still in the works.
The Philosophical Kensai

Still trying to master my craft...
As all Saints of the Sword do.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Working on it, various stuff and me being a tired lazy git got in the way.

Kensai
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Kensai »

dragoongfa wrote:Working on it, various stuff and me being a tired lazy git got in the way.
Totally get that. I've been attempting to work on my little contribution but life is having its way with me right now. I wish you luck
The Philosophical Kensai

Still trying to master my craft...
As all Saints of the Sword do.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

'Beacons' is still alive; I have an idea for the next part, if no one wants to post anything I will begin writing it in a few days.

novius
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by novius »

Need to get back into writing. I think I'll do with a filler piece on Beryl's side of things for now. I'd gladly leave battle strategies and politicking to you :)

Krulle
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

https://www.well-of-souls.com/forums/vi ... 357#p34357:
very nice, Dragoongfa! Thank you!

I love the idea of reversing the whole update patches.
"Look, as the operators and users of the last ship of this line, WE are the specialists for this line of ships. Approve our template proposals, and we will keep the ship up to date, as long as we are provided with the current communication protocols."
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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Krin
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krin »

I have been completely glued to the Beacons story for the past week. I am enjoying it quite a lot. :D
Although I must say, some writers are clearly better in my opinion. :roll:

I have my own small contribution I'd like to add but don't really have time right now to polish it out.
Perhaps I can post it in Spoilers or PM it to someone? If Dragoongfa wants to add or incorporate it to what's currently being written.

My contribution would directly continue where this previous post left off.
https://well-of-souls.com/forums/viewto ... 655#p35655

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Beacons doesn't have a singular parent so anyone is free to chip in :)

If time is a limiting factor for you to properly write it down, then feel free to spoiler it here and I will see what I can do.

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Krin
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krin »

Well, time would be limiting for two reasons.
One, the fictional positioning of the situation would change and then my entire tidbit goes to waste.
Two, I don't have an idea of how to currently bridge some of the story within it. :oops:

Anyway, here it is. I'll try to format it for the forum, and for readability. If you need it in a Code block let me know.
SpoilerShow
Alex thought for a moment. If Shortleaf had, by her own standards, fulfilled her duty delivering the template file, then she was in the clear to cut and run.
If he didn't deal with her now, nobody else would.
He wasn't going to have any of that. He might actually need her for the repairs.
He needed to act fast.

He thought to himself, who would have authorization to stop Shortleaf?
Beryl? No. Fireblade? Maybe. But could she do it in time? Stillstorm? Yes, but I don't think I can reach out to her. She's probably busy.
Station Security? Certainly, but would they answer to him? Doubtful. The Loroi won't even tell me information if they're not authorized.
Think Alex think.
The thought came to him, Mizol Parat Tempo.
Dammit all.

He attempted to reach his mind out to her.
Tempo.
Nothing.
Tempo!
Still, nothing. Was she in range? Could she even sense him?
Trust her, he thought. Trust her enough to do this much.
TEMPO!

Alex felt great alarm, and some unknown clattering. It seems Tempo answered.
"Alex?! ... How are you ... What is going on?". He felt her confusion and ... relief?
"Tempo, there is little time to explain. I'm trying to deal with a situation."
"What situation? What is going-"
"Listen. I need for you to request an immediate arrest for Torret Shortleaf, and deny her staff permission to evacuate the Station." The thoughts of who they were drifted over with the request.
"Alex ... I don't understand, I don't know what's going on. I can ... deny the staff, but I cannot authorize an arrest without due cause."
"This is an emergency!" There was pure anger in his thought.
"... What emergency?"
"Jeopardizing the lives of the entire Tempest crew." The thought was stern.
"That is ... a serious accusaition. Do you have proof of this?"
"There is no time! Tempo, please, do this."
There was a moderate pause. "I will do what I can. Why exactly do you want to arrest Torret Shortleaf?"
"You will find out soon enough." He calmed his mind, retracting it away from Tempo.

"Captain Jardin? Are you well?" The question came outloud from Wavecrest.
He realized he had gone silent again.
"Sorry, I was sending again."
"To who?"
He didn't elaborate. "Never mind that. Right now we need to focus on the ship. Shortleaf will be ... dealt with, for the time being."
Antimony and Wavecrest looked at each other in confusion, but then returned attention to Alex.
"We need to get to work."

------------------------

<Brief scene involving Tempo>
<Making her own preparations for the ship>
<comicly dropping everything she's holding when Alex sends to her>
<Tempo ponders filling out the paper work, but then reconsidered alex seemed angry and serious. This was urgent.>

She focused her Sanzai. "Soshret Stillstorm."
"Parat Tempo. What do you want?" Stillstorm managed to reply. She seems agitated?
"Do you have a moment?"
"No, but be brief."
"Captain Jardain has called for the arrest of Torret Shortleaf, and wants to deny, or at least postpone, evacuation for her staff aboard the station. I wanted to get your authorization to proceed."
"Curious, ... Shortleaf ... Why does that name sound familiar ..."
"Torret Shortleaf is currently in charge of systems security for Nezel's docks."
"Ah ... yes. That one. Uugh. ... I'd rather not deal with that nightmare again." Tempo could feel the groaning coming from Stillstorm.
"He seemed urgent, do you know why?"
"I put him in charge of overseeing the ships repair. It appears he found something."
There was a brief moment of pause. "You are authorized Parat Tempo, proceed."
"I will need to file the paperwork later with your signature-"
"Yes, yes. Dismissed." Tempo felt a dismissive hand wave motion.

Why would Stillstorm put him in charge of the repairs? She pondered.
No matter, now she needed to contact station security.

------------------------

<Scene involving Tempest ship repairs> ???
<Even if they managed to update the files, they cannot continue without Shortleaf's help?>

------------------------
<Time passes.>
<Scene involving Tempo, Shortleaf, possibly Antimony and Wavecrest if they have returned since updating the template and petitions, and some security staff escorting Shortleaf, clearly under arrest.>
<Possible timing during the process of the ship being under repair.>
<Alex is notified that shortleaf has been detained, and her staff will be required to return here to help.>

Tempo was followed by Shortleaf, who was unmistakably being held and escorted by two security staff.
Tempo was leading the group toward him.
"Well, that was quick." Wavecrest commented.
"I didn't expect to see her in restraints." Antimony said with light surprise.
"It seems she got the short end of the branch." Wavecrest chuckled.
"Hah! Good one."
"Quiet." Alex said clearly agitated.
Antimony and Wavecrest looked at each other, the mood had changed. The tone of his voice, ... this was serious.
They didn't say another word, as the group finally reached them.

[Tempo and Alex talk, [about the outdated template files , requesting new templates and petitions for authorization. and knowingly giving outdated updates.], Shortleaf gives vocal agitated comments.
"Tempo, hold on a moment." Alex flatly said.
Alex walked up to Shortleaf, and hit her, square in the jaw.
This Gives everyone surprise and alarm, with audable ghasps.
"Alex?!" Tempo said alarmed.
"You ... You hit me?" Shortleaf said in disbelief.
"And I would do so again, and again, and again! Until you understood the seriousness of your actions!" The anger was rising in him.
"I gave you what was needed!" Shortleaf snapped at him, but that was clearly a mistake.
"You gave me NOTHING! You have done NOTHING! This template is outdated and you know it!" Alex threw the datacoin at her feet.
"Your incompetence and cowardice would have hindered, if not outright crippled the Tempest flagship. Doing so in such a critical battle situation, would have cost the lives of many invaluable personnel, certainly more valuable than you! At such a time when we are just discovering ways to counter the Umiak Lotai, all would have been lost! In effect, I dare say, to cause the Loroi to lose this war, and by extension humanity."
The realization dawned on all of them.
Without warning, Alex grabbed her by the throat. Everyone was shocked. In an instant, the two security guards acted on instinct as if to stop him, but hesitated, conflicted. Tempo rose her hand in silence to give pause.
"You, utterly, disgust me." The anger he voiced pierced right through Shortleaf.
A brief moment passed, and he pushed her away, back into the security staff.
"Get her out of my sight!"
Tempo had the feeling he Sanzaied to Shortleaf, but couldn't be sure.

Tempo turned to the two security and gave a quick nod to dismiss them, taking Shortleaf with them.
"Captain Jardin", Tempo began, but stopped to realize Alex wasn't responding. Did he shut out her Sanzai again?
The silence was palpable. Tempo waited until they were out of hearing range before continuing, outloud.
"Captain Jardin, while I commend you for taking quick action, I advise you to be more careful in the future. This will certainly cause a diplomatic incident, if not a minor one."
"Careful?! Minor?!" He raised his fist toward her, pointing. Then stopped, regained his composure as he breathed in. Tempo realized his anger was mostly for Shortleaf, and not her.
He continued, still clearly agitated, "The Loroi cannot afford to be making such careless mistakes, especially not one like this! There is too much at stake. On behalf of Humanity, I cannot allow this to continue."
"I thought the Loroi to be more disciplined than us, it appears I was wrong."
"What do you mean by this?" Tempo questioned.
"Everything you do now, everything your warriors do should be driven to help win this war."
"What do you think we have been doing?"
"Soldiers should understand, to have a do or die mentality, not saving their own ass!" Alex's voice raising.
"That, is dangerously close mentality of the Umiak."
<need transition dialog here?>
Alex continued, "Need I remind you how dangerous it is to send scouting ships. Suffice to say, I volunteered for the Bellarmine's mission. My life is irrelevant!", Alex lashed out.
"You are not!", Tempo retorted back.
"My life, in the grand scheme of things, means nothing. If I die in the line of duty, then at least I'll have given them hell for it! If that's what it takes to win this war, then so be it."
"Even one person can make such a large difference! You have done more than many! Certainly, you know this!" Tempo tried to reassure him.
Both of them let an awkward silence sit. Both clearly agitated, but not at each other.
"I ... need to report this to Soshret Stillstorm."
"And I have work to do." Alex begain to walk, Antimony and Wavecrest quickly followed.
Tempo watched as Alex walked away. There was quickness in his step, but then he stopped, and turned slightly.
Thank you. He sent, then continued on.

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dragoongfa
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by dragoongfa »

Well, here are my two cents on how (with your permission), would incorporate the core of your idea into my next part.
SpoilerShow
The idea to delay Shortleaf was something I was toying with, her arrest however would be on the extreme side, there is no 'cause' for her arrest; she has 'fulfilled' her part of the legal procedure even if that is not in line with the spirit of her station and orders. What I would do was go with 'bullshitting' delays and a Mizol of Tempo's caliber would easily find plenty of bullshit reasons for properly authorized delaying action. Also, it would be funny and in line of Alex getting back at Shortleaf on his own if Tempo does it as a 'favor' with the promise of having her request for his time approved on the spot.

The idea of having Alex telepathically contacting Tempo though, that's more than a little 'lore breaking'. Human telepathy needs intimate trust to function and Alex's trust towards Tempo is still bruised,she needs to scratch his back a little for that which sets the foundation for a great character development scene.

Finally, Alex is in no position to get physical no matter his anger, that's an assault and even if there are no charges pressed his diplomatic position would be weakened if he allows his anger to get hold of him. Dealing with Shortleaf has to be done in a 'humiliating' way that is fully in line with the military mindset and code of justice. I was thinking of having her take an 'apprenticeship' position on Tempest to learn from a 'proper team of authorized system developers'.

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Krin
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krin »

Yeah got ahead, I'm eagerly awaiting more story.
The, ahem, main outsider comic has gotten very dry as of late.
SpoilerShow
My feelings as to how Alex has been portrayed in the last 3 or so chapters seems very OOC for his intelligence.

Kensai
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Kensai »

novius wrote:Need to get back into writing. I think I'll do with a filler piece on Beryl's side of things for now. I'd gladly leave battle strategies and politicking to you :)

My dude.... your piece of the pie was excellent. Very excellent.
The Philosophical Kensai

Still trying to master my craft...
As all Saints of the Sword do.

Krulle
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Re: Writing Prompts

Post by Krulle »

Indeed.
Excellent.

Thank you.
Vote for Outsider on TWC: Image
charred steppes, borders of territories: page 59,
jump-map of local stars: page 121, larger map in Loroi: page 118,
System view Leido Crossroads: page 123, after the battle page 195

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