[Fan Fiction] Notes and discussion for "A sword that wields itself"

[Hālian]

I would be inclined to translate the story's title as The Self-Swinging Sword, to preserve the alliteration.

[Cthulhu]

I would be inclined to translate the story's title as The Self-Swinging Sword, to preserve the alliteration.

The Loroi have no need to adhere to some pink barbarian's crude language patterns.

SpoilerShow

Actually, the "wielding" part is fully intentional.

[Snoofman]

Finally caught up! I am most eager to see how the lost world on which Emberwing and her comrades shall tie into the main story (the Great War). So the Loroi in your fanfic universe can also keep secrets.

[Cthulhu]

Finally caught up! I am most eager to see how the lost world on which Emberwing and her comrades shall tie into the main story (the Great War).

Well, so far it's already pretty interesting. The Loroi were never able to salvage the remains of a dreadstar, and the sole source of amplifiers was the facility on Mezan. On top of it, they met yet another of their cousin races, even a telepathic one, and this may lead to new insights into telepathy.

But the main part is of course that mysterious "god" or whatever it might be.

So the Loroi in your fanfic universe can also keep secrets.

This part wasn't changed at all. Sanzai is inherently truthful, but it is a telepathic language, not a Vulcan mind-meld. The sender always constructs what she wants to send consciously, and if the secret is outside the current discussion's topic altogether, then the "inherent truthfulness" won't trigger, so the conversational partner will be none the wiser. Of course, if it is related, or if the sender is a little kid who can't focus her thoughts, then, thanks to the sub-channel which can't be fully controlled, the recipient may understand that something was withheld, altered, or straight up invented.

The main point in this case, however, is that while you may understand that something is not entirely truthful, you aren't supposed to point that out to your superior. The Loroi Empire is not a democracy, military orders aren't meant to be debated anyway, so if your commanding officer says: "don't even think about pink alien man-things", then the answer is AYE!

In the Union, everyone expects the Mizol inquisition!

[Krulle]

Yo, guys, I'm back from the dead, almost quite literally. Seems like I wasn't missed much, and I didn't miss much of the comic as well.

That... Doesn't sound well.
I presume you're much better now?
Welcome back!

And yes, you were missed.
The lack of updates on fanfics caused me to forget my password for this site, and also caused me to not care enough to work my brain over it.
So, again, welcome back!

[edit to add]
my memory is not as good as yours, so I'll have to re-read the whole thing.
Saw your first post in the story thread, and an "update next monday", "last edited 15 July" sounds like you're having a birthday present for me....
YAY! So lucky me, a stranger on the InterWebs intends to publish a chapter of his great fanfic for some obscure webcomic I like ON MY BIRTHDAY.

(enough randomness. My real life is full, I very likely will not have caught up until then)

[Cthulhu]

That... Doesn't sound well.
I presume you're much better now?
Welcome back!

That is not dead which can eternal lie

Although a few sacrifices in my name wouldn't hurt...

And yes, you were missed.
The lack of updates on fanfics caused me to forget my password for this site, and also caused me to not care enough to work my brain over it.
So, again, welcome back!

I was already wondering why there were so few regulars around. So welcome back to you as well!

[edit to add]
my memory is not as good as yours, so I'll have to re-read the whole thing.
Saw your first post in the story thread, and an "update next monday", "last edited 15 July" sounds like you're having a birthday present for me....
YAY! So lucky me, a stranger on the InterWebs intends to publish a chapter of his great fanfic for some obscure webcomic I like ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Rereading? Well, I did the same, and now I plan on polishing up the whole thing. There are quite a few parts I'm not satisfied with. Or maybe my writing skills improved. Or they just sucked before.

[Cthulhu]

Okay, the new chapter will be delayed. The heat wave managed to kill off my laptop completely. Damn Acer and their bullshit "hybrid power" system.

Also, can anyone recommend a good android app for writing?

[Snoofman]

Dont they have Microsoft Word on Android on apps? I’ve also read for Android there is Google Docs and iA Writer.

[Cthulhu]

Word is only available through the 365 Office package. I'll try that iA Writer, thanks for the tip.

I've dug up an old chromebook I had lying around, and lemme tell you, those things are crap. The whole idea of crossing a tablet OS with a notebook chassis is utterly idiotic. You get just a few conveniences of a laptop, but all the restrictions of google's android. You can't even throw this stupid piece of spyware out, and install a proper linux. Ugh, I'd even prefer Windows ME over this bullshit.

[Cthulhu]

Dont they have Microsoft Word on Android on apps? I’ve also read for Android there is Google Docs and iA Writer.

Okay, both Office and the iA Writer are paid apps, and I'm not gonna pay money for some simple text editor. I mean, if I had money to spare, then I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

After some digging around. I've now settled with "Novelist", it may be crap, but at least somewhat useful. I'll post the next chapter in a couple of days or so.

Also, it's just my fourth day using a chromebook, but I'm already fed up with it. Whoever came up with this concept, should be fired. Out of a torpedo tube, straight into waters infested with angry cocaine sharks.

[Urist]

For what it's worth, I've used LibreOffice for years. Much prefer it over Word or Scrivener, or any other word processor software that I've tried. They have an 'experimental' version of LibreOffice for Android, but I haven't used it myself and have no idea if it's as good as the Windows version or not.

[Cthulhu]

For what it's worth, I've used LibreOffice for years. Much prefer it over Word or Scrivener, or any other word processor software that I've tried.

I've been using LibreOffice on my Ubuntu as well, it even had a handy BBcode converter plugin.

They have an 'experimental' version of LibreOffice for Android, but I haven't used it myself and have no idea if it's as good as the Windows version or not.

I've tried it, and it's laggy as hell. The Linux "environment" you can set up under android is even worse. Basically, most things lag, the only thing which runs perfectly, is the Chrome browser.

[Urist]

Ah, nuts. Well, 'good fortune' on finding something that works.

[Cthulhu]

Ah, nuts. Well, 'good fortune' on finding something that works.

Yeah, it's actually worse. The app from the libre-office foundation is merely a viewer. The one I tried was a "compatible" third-party app, and it was, let's say, suboptimal.

Anyway, I'll make do with the "novelist" app for now. At least all the data was backed up, so nothing was lost.

[Urist]

Fun chapter, earlier this week! A neat peek into the (apparent) backstory of the three related species in your story. And since I've got it on the mind while writing my own story, I love the mental image of the barbarian local loroi as essentially blue Orks. Every now and then, a Warboss arises, krumps all the BoyzGirlz who challenge her, and leads a dead-killy attack towards civilization that is doomed to self-destruction in the end. (Sadly, the barbarian loroi seem to be no more prone to vocalizations than their Union cousins, so there's apparently no battle-cry equivalent of "Waaaagh!")

All joking aside, I'm definitely looking forwards to seeing more of the mysterious backstory you've come up with get revealed!

[Cthulhu]

Fun chapter, earlier this week! A neat peek into the (apparent) backstory of the three related species in your story.

Yeah, there will be more backstory to come.

And since I've got it on the mind while writing my own story, I love the mental image of the barbarian local loroi as essentially blue Orks.

Well, since the Loroi are also engineered beings, likely created for war, the comparison isn't that far off.

Every now and then, a Warboss arises, krumps all the BoyzGirlz who challenge her, and leads a dead-killy attack towards civilization that is doomed to self-destruction in the end. (Sadly, the barbarian loroi seem to be no more prone to vocalizations than their Union cousins, so there's apparently no battle-cry equivalent of "Waaaagh!")

According to Arioch's background lore, that's basically Deinar's history. The Loroi had no natural predators, were highly resistant to diseases (and there were few diseases on a newly terraformed world), there was enough food growing in the wild (Soia-Liiron supercrops and super-livestock), their gender ratio was optimized for rapid growth, and they mature twice as fast as humans. However, without the ultra-high tech civilization they were designed for, and without any population control measures, the barbarized Loroi got stuck inside a deadly spiral of population spikes and collapses.

I would expect that often enough, the tribal warfare would produce some kind of Warlord, and the cleverer ones might've tried to adopt the ways of civilization. Seeing that this "Age of Chaos" era lasted for 44,000 years until they managed to establish the caste system and population control measures, those leaders weren't very successful. Either at adopting civilization, or maintaining it, or both.

All joking aside, I'm definitely looking forwards to seeing more of the mysterious backstory you've come up with get revealed!

I've also tried to explore why the Loroi were so throughout in their civilizational collapse.

[Snoofman]

I bet we’re going to see a different perspective on the Warlord’s account of their world’s history.

The plot thickens!

[Cthulhu]

I bet we’re going to see a different perspective on the Warlord’s account of their world’s history.

Of course, but the major issue remains. Despite coming from an ultra-high-tech society and possessing a universal, telepathic language far surpassing common, vocal speech, the Loroi still managed to lose everything after the Fall. Technology, culture, huge chunks of history, they forgot it all, regressing to the most basic level of hunter-gatherers. On all three Sister worlds, and they remained in that barbaric stage for 250,000 years.

All religious dogmas about divine punishment, stigmas and whatnot aside, perhaps there was indeed something wrong with the Loroi.

The plot thickens!

Oh, it's going to get thicker and weirder.

[Urist]

I'm not sure which part of the latest chapter I liked more: Fireblade getting to show off ("I *am* the superior weapon."), or the spooky-scary-Melor interrogation beginning!

Definitely looking forwards to the barbarian-loroi perspective on their world's history.

[Cthulhu]

I'm not sure which part of the latest chapter I liked more: Fireblade getting to show off ("I *am* the superior weapon."),

Well, Fireblade had so far absolutely nothing to do, so she was rather glad to get into some action. That warrior was really lucky to suffer just a single fracture. Fireblade isn't good at holding back, quite the opposite, actually.

or the spooky-scary-Melor interrogation beginning!

Alexander declared a wizard war!

Unfortunately, the rather mischievous spells like Suggestion: itchy bones wouldn't work due to mental incompatibility, and the more nefarious ones like Power Word: Testium Torsio couldn't work due to physical incompatibility. Therefore, he had to settle for the good ol' Antimagic Field.

SpoilerShow

It was super effective.

Definitely looking forwards to the barbarian-loroi perspective on their world's history.

For now, there will be an Intermission, and it may introduce another point of view...