What to Do with Jardin (Fan Fic)

[Razor One]

It's amazing what you've done with a great humorous prompt fic, taking it in directions beyond mere crack and having an honest examination of the events. By all means, keep it up!

Although, reading it, this did pop into my brain.

--

Fleetwide Bulletin System

Under no circumstances are you to come into contact with a Terran aquatic creature called a dolphin without express command level approval. Only Parat Tempo is sufficiently trained to deal with their lies.

In future joint sporting events, usage of telekinetics is strictly forbidden. The USMC table tennis team is eager for a rematch on equal ground.

Entry into Loroi lookalike contests, while amusing, is hereby forbidden after the events surrounding Officer Talons placing merely third.

Terran meals which include 'chilli' and other similar substances are to be avoided in spite of Parat Tempo's insistence that such meals are delicious. The active ingredient is currently being researched for non-lethal weaponisation.

The Terran game 'Shellcrusher' requires a Terran operating system to run. It is not to be loaded onto ships networks even for morale purposes until a certified port has been made available by the developer. Terran electronics, while crude, will have to suffice until then.

[ShadowDragon8685]

To add to what dragoon and Tamri have said, humans in Outsider don't yet have the tech to produce antimatter on an industrial scale. The Loroi and Umiak do, but they actually use an exotic matter annihilation process - if I recall the forum discussions correctly, it's as energetic as a typical M/AM reaction (or nearly so), but slightly easier to store. It's called 'taimat' in the Lexicon.

"As energetic as antimatter, but easier to store."
Sounds like antimatter atoms suspended in a matrix of carbon fullerenes (aka buckyballs). If you do it right, and use a nice, heavy antiparticle instead of antihydrogen or antihelium; say, antiiron, or better yet, antiuranium, you can achieve some quite good antimatter:container weight ratios (just barely under a 1:3 ratio in the case of 1 anti-uranium particle suspended in a carbon-60 buckminsterfullerene). It has the advantage of being nominally failsafe, in that it doesn't need power to maintain storage the way a big honking magnetic tank does, and the container is also the reaction matter for when you want the reaction to occur.

Just don't carry it around in a paper bag.

[ShadowDragon8685]

It's amazing what you've done with a great humorous prompt fic, taking it in directions beyond mere crack and having an honest examination of the events. By all means, keep it up!

I wasn't trying to go all serious and dour and stuff, I just can't seem to stop myself.

Although, reading it, this did pop into my brain.

--

Fleetwide Bulletin System

Under no circumstances are you to come into contact with a Terran aquatic creature called a dolphin without express command level approval. Only Parat Tempo is sufficiently trained to deal with their lies.

In future joint sporting events, usage of telekinetics is strictly forbidden. The USMC table tennis team is eager for a rematch on equal ground.

Entry into Loroi lookalike contests, while amusing, is hereby forbidden after the events surrounding Officer Talons placing merely third.

Terran meals which include 'chilli' and other similar substances are to be avoided in spite of Parat Tempo's insistence that such meals are delicious. The active ingredient is currently being researched for non-lethal weaponisation.

The Terran game 'Shellcrusher' requires a Terran operating system to run. It is not to be loaded onto ships networks even for morale purposes until a certified port has been made available by the developer. Terran electronics, while crude, will have to suffice until then.

All of those made me laugh, but most especially the first and third.

[sunphoenix]

... yeah that third one made me spittoon my breakfast cereal... what a scream!

[ShadowDragon8685]

... yeah that third one made me spittoon my breakfast cereal... what a scream!

It's an hilarious trope, innit?

[Razor One]

Although, reading it, this did pop into my brain.

--

Fleetwide Bulletin System

Under no circumstances are you to come into contact with a Terran aquatic creature called a dolphin without express command level approval. Only Parat Tempo is sufficiently trained to deal with their lies.

In future joint sporting events, usage of telekinetics is strictly forbidden. The USMC table tennis team is eager for a rematch on equal ground.

Entry into Loroi lookalike contests, while amusing, is hereby forbidden after the events surrounding Officer Talons placing merely third.

Terran meals which include 'chilli' and other similar substances are to be avoided in spite of Parat Tempo's insistence that such meals are delicious. The active ingredient is currently being researched for non-lethal weaponisation.

The Terran game 'Shellcrusher' requires a Terran operating system to run. It is not to be loaded onto ships networks even for morale purposes until a certified port has been made available by the developer. Terran electronics, while crude, will have to suffice until then.

All of those made me laugh, but most especially the first and third.

The first one was prompted by the thought of checking other Terran life to see if they had the lotai as well or if it was specific to humans. Dolphins being filthy liars is to be expected given their other traits.

The lookalike one I cant really claim even though I used it. Its based on an urban legend; Charlie Chaplin winding up winning third place in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.

[dragoongfa]

Dolphins are also nature's rapists so there is also that reason.

[sunphoenix]

So Long.. and Thanks for all the Fish!

"So long and thanks for all the fish"
"So sad that it should come to this"
"We tried to warn you all but oh dear!!"

"You may not share our intellect,
Which might explain your disrespect~
For all the natural wonders that
grow around you"

"So long, so long and thanks!
...for all the fish!"

"The world's about to be destroyed."
"There's no point getting all annoyed!"
"Lie back and let the planet dissolve(around you)!"
Despite those nets of tuna fleets,
We thought that most of you were sweet!"
"Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant women!"

"So long, so long, so long, so long, so long!"
"So long, so long, so long, so long, so long.."

"So long, so long and thanks!"
"...for all the fish!"

"If I had just one last wish,
I would like a tasty fish!"

"If we could just change one thing,
We would all have learned to sing..."

"Come one and all,
Man and Mammal.
Side by Side in life's great gene pool!"

(oooohhh oooohhh oooaahhhhh- ah ahh)

"So long, so long, so long, so long, so long!"
"So long, so long, so long, so long, so long..."

"So long, so long and, Thanks!"
"...for all the fish!"

[Razor One]

Dolphins are also nature's rapists so there is also that reason.

That was foremost on my mind.



Not exactly a face you can trust.

[sunphoenix]

...{snicker} ...pedolphin!

[Sweforce]

Terran meals which include 'chilli' and other similar substances are to be avoided in spite of Parat Tempo's insistence that such meals are delicious. The active ingredient is currently being researched for non-lethal weaponisation.

This could be throw in for the fun of it. A visit to the humans messhall during chili day and a taste of the local cousine. For extra fun botch a prank on Tempo by having her like it while her aidie suffer on the normal strength one for extra Tempo weirdness.

A comment, a spice saleseman I know told me of an episode selling a bag of piri piri to a guy that then proceeded to eat them as snacks. Some people just are like that.

[Mr Bojangles]

If you can't make industrial antimatter by 2160, give up and go home. Seriously, the hardest part with making antimatter is the energy required to do so, but by this point in the comic, they have access to the biggest fusion reactor in the game: Sol itself. Park some giant fuck-off toruses in close solar orbit, use some giant fuck-off solar panels, some really honking big magnetic tanks to store it in, and bob's your uncle.

And yeah, I wouldn't think 5,000 tons of antimatter would need to be assembled in one place, ever

I think this boils down to how Outsider is set up. Fusion is enough to propel a ship, power inertial dampeners/gravity generators, and, most importantly, charge up a jump drive. Those are the basics of becoming a space-faring race in this 'verse. AM would certainly be a better, more potent fuel, but humanity hasn't yet reached that point.

If Bellarmine was using metallic hydrogen, I could believe that, but metallic hydrogen is useful primarily for reaction mass, you can't feed a fusion reactor with it. She wouldn't be able to make any hyperspace jumps like that.
And I'm skeptical about 5,000 tons of compressed helium exploding that way. Helium is very inert stuff. That would pretty much just escape along the path of the beam...

It wasn't helium in the tanks, it was liquid hydrogen. Catastrophic failure of the pressure vessels would result in pretty impressive explosion without anything having to fuse or annihilate; the nearby LOX tanks would help to make a nice fireball. This was really good for Alex, considering he was more than close enough to the wreck that a fusion or annie explosion would have vaporized him.

"As energetic as antimatter, but easier to store."
Sounds like antimatter atoms suspended in a matrix of carbon fullerenes (aka buckyballs). If you do it right, and use a nice, heavy antiparticle instead of antihydrogen or antihelium; say, antiiron, or better yet, antiuranium, you can achieve some quite good antimatter:container weight ratios (just barely under a 1:3 ratio in the case of 1 anti-uranium particle suspended in a carbon-60 buckminsterfullerene). It has the advantage of being nominally failsafe, in that it doesn't need power to maintain storage the way a big honking magnetic tank does, and the container is also the reaction matter for when you want the reaction to occur.

Just don't carry it around in a paper bag.

Fullerened AM of some sort would be a lot safer than magnetic bottling. What little info we have on taimat, or "Type-A conversion fuel," is in the forum dumps on the Insider. In a nutshell, while it's used as part of an annihilation reaction, that reaction has be induced under some unknown specific conditions.

Also, nice Schlock reference.

[ShadowDragon8685]

Terran meals which include 'chilli' and other similar substances are to be avoided in spite of Parat Tempo's insistence that such meals are delicious. The active ingredient is currently being researched for non-lethal weaponisation.

This could be throw in for the fun of it. A visit to the humans messhall during chili day and a taste of the local cousine. For extra fun botch a prank on Tempo by having her like it while her aidie suffer on the normal strength one for extra Tempo weirdness.

A comment, a spice saleseman I know told me of an episode selling a bag of piri piri to a guy that then proceeded to eat them as snacks. Some people just are like that.

Well, let me just say this: a few of the crew are pleased as punch that the fleet resupplied the galley aboard Swiftwind with some specialty cuisine. Tempo is chief among those pleased by this. The rest of the crew are running to the medbay for nausea medicine.

And then Kelly is going to bust out the chopsticks and sticky-rice.

[Tamri]

If you can't make industrial antimatter by 2160, give up and go home. Seriously, the hardest part with making antimatter is the energy required to do so, but by this point in the comic, they have access to the biggest fusion reactor in the game: Sol itself. Park some giant fuck-off toruses in close solar orbit, use some giant fuck-off solar panels, some really honking big magnetic tanks to store it in, and bob's your uncle.

And yeah, I wouldn't think 5,000 tons of antimatter would need to be assembled in one place, ever.

I agree, in fact - in my estimation the people in the Outsider-verse if see by Jim notes is much less advanced than we are about 50 years probably will. Except for the presence of a jump drive and + - normal spaceships.

Neither nanotechnology, nor antimatter, nor good computer technology (what showed on the bridge Bell in the prologue - slag, even by today's standards), no implants, no robotics, in the presence of some strange resource and food problems, there is not enough automation industry complex, that would be self-sufficient colony could grow without expensive long-term support from the metropolis. In short, everything is bad. What's even more fun, according to the same estimates, that the Union, that the Hierarchy is incredibly advanced in some areas, but thorough behind us today in the other.

In short, Arioch task - to come up with a beautiful world, and our - to the best of his explain And fill in the details.

[Hālian]

I fully expect now that Sedel will only be eating Terran food by the end of the fic. :3

[dragoongfa]

If you can't make industrial antimatter by 2160, give up and go home. Seriously, the hardest part with making antimatter is the energy required to do so, but by this point in the comic, they have access to the biggest fusion reactor in the game: Sol itself. Park some giant fuck-off toruses in close solar orbit, use some giant fuck-off solar panels, some really honking big magnetic tanks to store it in, and bob's your uncle.

And yeah, I wouldn't think 5,000 tons of antimatter would need to be assembled in one place, ever.

I agree, in fact - in my estimation the people in the Outsider-verse if see by Jim notes is much less advanced than we are about 50 years probably will. Except for the presence of a jump drive and + - normal spaceships.

Neither nanotechnology, nor antimatter, nor good computer technology (what showed on the bridge Bell in the prologue - slag, even by today's standards), no implants, no robotics, in the presence of some strange resource and food problems, there is not enough automation industry complex, that would be self-sufficient colony could grow without expensive long-term support from the metropolis. In short, everything is bad. What's even more fun, according to the same estimates, that the Union, that the Hierarchy is incredibly advanced in some areas, but thorough behind us today in the other.

In short, Arioch task - to come up with a beautiful world, and our - to the best of his explain And fill in the details.

This isn't actually true; the various militaries of the world only trust mature technologies in their weapons. It's kind of weird when one remembers how most research ends up on military applications but the armies of the world have found out the hard way that technologically cutting edge equipment is far more trouble than is worth, the most common complaint being unreliability of said equipment.

All armies and navies want equipment that reliably works when turned on and that requires fully matured technologies. Right now most civilian computers have far more computational strength than any military computer on service but the military computer is far more reliable and durable despite the fact that it is horribly obsolete by civilian standards. On average most military hardware today is technology that was cutting edge 30 years ago but only now is mature enough to be considered reliable enough by the military.

All things considered the inside of the Bellarmine may seem anachronistic but from a military PoV it is to be expected that the equipment will technologically be the most reliable that the TCA can offer and that means technology that will be considered horribly obsolete by the civilian sectors.

[harlequin2262]

Well, the fan fiction is updating more often than the core text.

And I couldn't be happier, because this is some primo ****, Dragon. Keep on writing, this is pushing all of my buttons, particularly this last section. Loving the emotional and instinctual tension.

[Tamri]

This isn't actually true; the various militaries of the world only trust mature technologies in their weapons. It's kind of weird when one remembers how most research ends up on military applications but the armies of the world have found out the hard way that technologically cutting edge equipment is far more trouble than is worth, the most common complaint being unreliability of said equipment.

All armies and navies want equipment that reliably works when turned on and that requires fully matured technologies. Right now most civilian computers have far more computational strength than any military computer on service but the military computer is far more reliable and durable despite the fact that it is horribly obsolete by civilian standards. On average most military hardware today is technology that was cutting edge 30 years ago but only now is mature enough to be considered reliable enough by the military.

All things considered the inside of the Bellarmine may seem anachronistic but from a military PoV it is to be expected that the equipment will technologically be the most reliable that the TCA can offer and that means technology that will be considered horribly obsolete by the civilian sectors.

It's like that. Two points:

1) Bell - RESEARCH ship, not the military. Googling standards for research technics of the same NASA. Somehow I don't think that the practice of over 100 years radically changed, so what could be on warship - on the research vessel appears as a receiver for a deck of cards in the modern computer.

2) Outside fucking 2160-th year. The newest space scout, designed for deep space exploration completed with equipment on which people worked around 2000, with some exceptions. I don't know about you, but for me, the writing of the above paragraphs is mutually exclusive, and not just have them in stock.

Purely hypothetically, filling the spaceship must be double - the latest at the time of construction of the system for normal operation and the most reliable solid stuff that can somehow work in an environment where not working everything else. In the event of a sudden polar fox. Completed the ship only the second set - idiocy, if not worse. Because of this depends directly on the efficiency of ship operation in the normal mode, in which case it will be extremely low. Meaning?

[ShadowDragon8685]

I fully expect now that Sedel will only be eating Terran food by the end of the fic. :3

Am I derping? Who was Sedel again?

I think this boils down to how Outsider is set up. Fusion is enough to propel a ship, power inertial dampeners/gravity generators, and, most importantly, charge up a jump drive. Those are the basics of becoming a space-faring race in this 'verse. AM would certainly be a better, more potent fuel, but humanity hasn't yet reached that point.

It wasn't helium in the tanks, it was liquid hydrogen. Catastrophic failure of the pressure vessels would result in pretty impressive explosion without anything having to fuse or annihilate; the nearby LOX tanks would help to make a nice fireball. This was really good for Alex, considering he was more than close enough to the wreck that a fusion or annie explosion would have vaporized him.

I could buy Helium-3 fusion, but not hydrogen fusion. Either way though, antimatter seems far more likely, since Bellarmine's bingo point was at least 10 jumps plus system loiter time away from her tanker, and the Bell was not a gargantutanic, 95% fuel space vessel, like a ship from Traveler. Liquid hydrogen and helium both are not very dense fuels, antimatter is.

Remember, it's not just 2160 with Human development - it's 2160 after they took in the Orgus, which would certainly have included reverse-engineering the Orgus's ship.

Plus, Bell's explosion looks an awful damn lot like Winter Tide's to me.

Fullerened AM of some sort would be a lot safer than magnetic bottling. What little info we have on taimat, or "Type-A conversion fuel," is in the forum dumps on the Insider. In a nutshell, while it's used as part of an annihilation reaction, that reaction has be induced under some unknown specific conditions.

Also, nice Schlock reference.

Well, fullerened antimatter would require enough energy to crack the carbon-60 buckyballs, and keep cracking them in a controlled and sustained manner. That would be more mechanically tricky than just straight-up injecting antimatter and antimatter; if the rate of fuel injection goes too low, the engine could sputter out. Goes too high, and, well...

Also, did you miss Alex and Kelly quoting The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries to each other?

[Durabys]

This should become the soundtrack for this entire Fanfic:


Though. One thing constantly bothers me. If one removed the hybrids from the story..this could actually very well be an extremely well written serious fanfic that actually follows canon.

I know this started as a crack-fic but it seems it is slowly and surely gaining a life of its own and becoming actually something I would love to see ending only when an older Fireblade is standing in front Alex's grave..many centuries later. I would love to see this becoming a Grand Space Opera Journey Across The Stars story. Not just a short tale.

A story..that could become incredibly epic, with deeply detailed characters and universe..just waiting for a reader to reach out with his mind and place himself into one in a Mass Effect/Babylon 5/Homeworld/Firefly Space Opera kind of way.

One thing is for certain. Before, I couldn't put my thoughts into the mind of a Loroi.

Even after reading the Insider article I wasn't capable of doing that.

But now?

This story explained them into actual breathing thinking beings for my imagination..the same way I can inhabit my imagination with Humans..I can do this with Loroi now..in all their individual glory, their needs and wants, their dreams and nightmares, their virtues and good but also vices and sin, their love and hatred, their passions and logic. Before I could see and understand them as 3D characters. After this story I can now see them as flesh and blood..mind and soul..like I can my fellow Humans. They have become alive for me.