Dreaming of the Garden Discussion Thread

[inxsi]

This is the Discussion thread for my Dreaming of the Garden fanfic. Thanks to Arioch for creating such an engrossing webcomic and world.

This story will involve a few character deaths, a non-graphic act of sexual assault, other acts of violence, and brief (non-graphic) nudity. Thoughts are in italics, trade language in italics, sanzai will be in quotes and italics. Hopefully that is not too confusing.

I was inspired by kiwi's writing prompt on what would happen if Tempo slipped into Alex's dreams while they slept on the shuttle. He turned this into the very good For What Dreams May Come. I wanted to take a different twist on the idea, so I started outlining this story. It took a long time to get it to this point - it has been a very long time since I have written anything. Sorry for the length for the first part.

[Cthulhu]

A fascinating take on the dream sequence. I wonder, did they make a blood oath with a Pol, or maybe a demon of Tzeench?

The length is okay, I think.

[inxsi]

A fascinating take on the dream sequence. I wonder, did they make a blood oath with a Pol, or maybe a demon of Tzeench?

The length is okay, I think.

I don't think much information on the entity will be revealed in the story (other than some of its capabilities and maybe a bit of its knowledge) just based on the point of view I plan to use. And could you trust anything such an entity told you about its history or designs without a way to verify it? Hopefully that is not a detriment to the story.

I will say that it is not inspired by Tzeench, though there are likely thematic similarities of any powerful, intelligent (and possibly corrupting) entity, though looking at wikipedia those demons should be avians, not aquatic.

I didn't really enjoy the fiction of Warhammer 40K enough to read much of it - too many cases of "and then we sacrificed a quadrilion people or so on this planet to prevent the spread of corruption" for me to really immerse myself in it. The one story I read that stuck with me was about a government accounting/tax group on a planet that was corrupted by Tzeench and had updated their calculating devices so that they were calculating how to open a portal to some chaos dimension. I think some soldiers eventually realize that something isn't right in their dealings with this group and stumble into a gunfight over these devices.

[Cthulhu]

I don't think much information on the entity will be revealed in the story (other than some of its capabilities and maybe a bit of its knowledge) just based on the point of view I plan to use. And could you trust anything such an entity told you about its history or designs without a way to verify it? Hopefully that is not a detriment to the story.

I will say that it is not inspired by Tzeench, though there are likely thematic similarities of any powerful, intelligent (and possibly corrupting) entity, though looking at wikipedia those demons should be avians, not aquatic.

I didn't really enjoy the fiction of Warhammer 40K enough to read much of it - too many cases of "and then we sacrificed a quadrilion people or so on this planet to prevent the spread of corruption" for me to really immerse myself in it. The one story I read that stuck with me was about a government accounting/tax group on a planet that was corrupted by Tzeench and had updated their calculating devices so that they were calculating how to open a portal to some chaos dimension. I think some soldiers eventually realize that something isn't right in their dealings with this group and stumble into a gunfight over these devices.

I'm not a die-hard fan of Warhammer either, although I've read a number of books. It's the antithesis of classical sci-fi, a ruinous stagnation leading to ever greater degradation. The authors must go to great lengths to jam their works full of that grimdark vibe, with no hope for a better future for anyone.
This Tzeench comparison was a joke, anyway.

So I guess it's not a Pol the Umiak use as a psi-jammer, then? I think there was a discussion on this matter, yet it remained inconclusive.

[inxsi]

The opening of the second chapter is up. The story should stop jumping around quite so much after this.

Yeah, I remember some discussion of the pol as what the umiak were using, but I don't remember where. I think maybe it was in the Writing Prompt as an idea for Beacons?

[Snoofman]

Excellent new take on what happens in the human/loroi dreamscape. And the dream beast tormenting and bargaining with Alex and Beryl is most intriguing. Keep it coming!

[inxsi]

Excellent new take on what happens in the human/loroi dreamscape. And the dream beast tormenting and bargaining with Alex and Beryl is most intriguing. Keep it coming!

Thanks. I had fun writing that part, trying to figure out how Beryl would react to it. I worry that Chapter Two will feel like it throws that storyline aside, but it will eventually come back around.

[Cthulhu]

Yeah, I remember some discussion of the pol as what the umiak were using, but I don't remember where. I think maybe it was in the Writing Prompt as an idea for Beacons?

Yes, but then the writers agreed on sirens, Bedein.

[inxsi]

Yeah, I remember some discussion of the pol as what the umiak were using, but I don't remember where. I think maybe it was in the Writing Prompt as an idea for Beacons?

Yes, but then the writers agreed on sirens, Bedein.

At some point, I need to reread Beacons, apparently it has been a long time and I've forgotten the details. Always wondered what would have happened if they had gone through with Alex Jardin as a marine helping with the assault, even if it probably makes no sense from a risk/reward point of view.

[wolf329]

The hopping from vignette to vignette is a little confusing, but I'm guessing that's the intention. Liking this take on the switching one of the Loroi to being the foundling rather than Alex, at least for this section.

[inxsi]

The hopping from vignette to vignette is a little confusing, but I'm guessing that's the intention. Liking this take on the switching one of the Loroi to being the foundling rather than Alex, at least for this section.

Sorry, I guess it is confusing - the jump from chapter one to two was meant to be odd, but I didn't intend for the latest jump to be - I'm not sure how to clear it up in the writing though. I was hoping it being part of the same chapter would show that time had passed within the same dream - though I guess having Beryl doze within the dream is not very clear. I didn't want to write Beryl getting rescued, just the aftermath of her being rescued.

[wolf329]

Oh no, sorry, the shift between chapter 2 parts 1 and 2 make sense. I should have made that more clear.

thanks, didn't know that
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[Cthulhu]

The break between the two parts of the latest chapter is a bit, well, not abrupt, but it's still missing something to smooth out the transition. Maybe for Beryl to doze off, lulled in by the suit's ventilation yet again.
The transition between the chapters is fine, it is pretty clear that those are two separate dream sequences.

edit: whoops

Just delete your post from the story thread. If it's the last one, it should still work.

[inxsi]

The break between the two parts of the latest chapter is a bit, well, not abrupt, but it's still missing something to smooth out the transition. Maybe for Beryl to doze off, lulled in by the suit's ventilation yet again.

Thanks for the advice - it is probably the best solution. I'll probably edit that in after I think about how to word it.

[Dan Wyatt]

Is Beryl inside a dream sequence?
Or did she astral jumped to a new body?

[inxsi]

Is Beryl inside a dream sequence?
Or did she astral jumped to a new body?

Thanks for the comment! I don't want to sway people one way or the other so I probably will not comment but if people want to speculate I am interested in reading the discussion

[Dan Wyatt]

lol, ok then!
I am enjoying it, just got confused as the dream-related stuff always boggles me, lol!

[Cthulhu]

That's an interesting chapter. It portrays a dreamscape quite well, fusing various things into an implausible, yet working scenery.

The rehydrated turkey is certainly high up on the "disgusting" scale, but I think my fanfic should outdo it.

[inxsi]

That's an interesting chapter. It portrays a dreamscape quite well, fusing various things into an implausible, yet working scenery.

The rehydrated turkey is certainly high up on the "disgusting" scale, but I think my fanfic should outdo it.

I'll admit that I did not strive for the utmost realism in this situation (I doubt I will be able to keep the lore as straight as most other fanfics), though I'm still curious on what seems implausible? Just so I can consider how to improve in future stories.

The rehydrated turkey (and the loud fan in the opening of the chapter) were inspired by a podcast about what simulated astronauts have to go through. It is called "The Habitat," about a year-long simulated Mars mission (with non-NASA volunteers) to research what that experience might be like. I'll warn people that they have a whole section on waste disposal and issues dealing with it from the actual NASA program (in zero gravity with all of the difficulty that entails).

[Cthulhu]

I'll admit that I did not strive for the utmost realism in this situation (I doubt I will be able to keep the lore as straight as most other fanfics), though I'm still curious on what seems implausible? Just so I can consider how to improve in future stories.

No, I meant that the dream, just as it should be, mixes up various impressions and memories to form a fantastic amalgam. You are portraying that quite good, it's just about implausible and confusing enough to be "realistic" and captivating.

The rehydrated turkey (and the loud fan in the opening of the chapter) were inspired by a podcast about what simulated astronauts have to go through. It is called "The Habitat," about a year-long simulated Mars mission (with non-NASA volunteers) to research what that experience might be like. I'll warn people that they have a whole section on waste disposal and issues dealing with it from the actual NASA program (in zero gravity with all of the difficulty that entails).

I've heard about that project, but for my fanfic, I went with 3D food printing. It's an actual technology, not only for food, but possibly even for replacement organs.