Outsider humor thread
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Re: Outsider humor thread
Humans may be husky, but that doesn't necessarily make them husks. Umiak may be husks, but that doesn't necessarily make them husky.
- Keklas Rekobah
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Re: Outsider humor thread

“Qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.” -- Attributed to many
- Keklas Rekobah
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Re: Outsider humor thread

“Qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.” -- Attributed to many
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Re: Outsider humor thread
Why was the Neridi spying on his neighbour?
He was nosy.
---
Why was he listening intently to his neighbour?
He was all ears.
---
Why do Loroi spaceships have lots of dents?
Hey! Women drivers.
---
Why was the Pipolsid embarrassed?
He had a wet dream.
---
Why was a single Human male added to the crew of the galley of every ship in the Loroi fleet?
Finally someone who could open those pickle jars.
He was nosy.
---
Why was he listening intently to his neighbour?
He was all ears.
---
Why do Loroi spaceships have lots of dents?
Hey! Women drivers.
---
Why was the Pipolsid embarrassed?
He had a wet dream.
---
Why was a single Human male added to the crew of the galley of every ship in the Loroi fleet?
Finally someone who could open those pickle jars.
- Keklas Rekobah
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Re: Outsider humor thread
Alex and Tempo were alone for a moment.
Tempo: "Do you have any questions so far?"
Alex: "Well, yeah ... but it's ... well ... kinda embarrassing."
Tempo: "After all we have been through, Enzin, there is no need for embarrassment. What is your question?"
Alex: "Well, I was just wondering if Fireblade ever ... uh, you know ... thinks about me ... I mean ..."
Tempo: "Fantasizes? She most certainly does! All the time!"
Alex: "Wow! Really? What ..."
Tempo: "Yes. She fantasizes about you..."
Tempo: "Do you have any questions so far?"
Alex: "Well, yeah ... but it's ... well ... kinda embarrassing."
Tempo: "After all we have been through, Enzin, there is no need for embarrassment. What is your question?"
Alex: "Well, I was just wondering if Fireblade ever ... uh, you know ... thinks about me ... I mean ..."
Tempo: "Fantasizes? She most certainly does! All the time!"
Alex: "Wow! Really? What ..."
Tempo: "Yes. She fantasizes about you..."
SpoilerShow
"... being shot, stabbed, incinerated, and blown out the airlock!"
“Qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.” -- Attributed to many
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Re: Outsider humor thread
No. Never! Fireblade is just a big softy.Keklas Rekobah wrote: ↑Sat Apr 23, 2022 10:35 pmAlex and Tempo were alone for a moment.
Tempo: "Do you have any questions so far?"
Alex: "Well, yeah ... but it's ... well ... kinda embarrassing."
Tempo: "After all we have been through, Enzin, there is no need for embarrassment. What is your question?"
Alex: "Well, I was just wondering if Fireblade ever ... uh, you know ... thinks about me ... I mean ..."
Tempo: "Fantasizes? She most certainly does! All the time!"
Alex: "Wow! Really? What ..."
Tempo: "Yes. She fantasizes about you..."SpoilerShow"... being shot, stabbed, incinerated, and blown out the airlock!"
Re: Outsider humor thread
... and her being the shiny knight in white armour saving Alex from the sure death...
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, click link.
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Re: Outsider humor thread
Fireblade is kind of a mistery right now, because her vow of silence and neither Alex or readers being privy to her telepathic conversations.
All we know is that she doesn't trust the alien, and is unhappy with her reassignment.
All we know is that she doesn't trust the alien, and is unhappy with her reassignment.
Re: Outsider humor thread
We also have her character card which can be found on Outsider's extras page I think.raistlin34 wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 1:31 pmFireblade is kind of a mistery right now, because her vow of silence and neither Alex or readers being privy to her telepathic conversations.
All we know is that she doesn't trust the alien, and is unhappy with her reassignment.
It reveals only a little more about her personality.
The point that stood out to me was going totally berserk IS part of her personality AND her telekinetic power level is.... greater than what she has shown Alex.
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Re: Outsider humor thread
I think I know what Fireblade's personality is and what she is going to do. Arioch has given us (maybe too many) clues.raistlin34 wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 1:31 pmFireblade is kind of a mistery right now, because her vow of silence and neither Alex or readers being privy to her telepathic conversations.
All we know is that she doesn't trust the alien, and is unhappy with her reassignment.
Not telling though.
I think that there's not a little bit of hatred of aversion in her eyes when dealing with Alex. This is most visible when she and Beryl are ordered by Spikey to get him off the bridge.
Fireblade looks at Alex with suspicion when he begins to wake up in medbay and screams. But why would a mere scream while waking up be an indication of being suspicious? Something tells me that she was only thinking "Did this alien just have a nightmare like I have every single night?"
The "I'm watching you" warning on the shuttle isn't necessarily suspicion either. It's just common sense for Loroi, who never allow males or aliens to join their fights. So she might just be saying "I'm watching you. Don't you dare screw up our teamwork, you alien, male amateur!"
If the Pornstorian on the pad is right and there is going to be a crisis soon, because [censored], I wouldn't be surprised that Fireblade is the one who comes to Alex's rescue. Because imho there's nobody aboard that shuttle / Umiak tub who understands the value of life as much as Fireblade does. And also because of another reason.
But maybe I'm completely wrong. We'll see.
Last edited by G. Janssen on Sun Apr 24, 2022 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Keklas Rekobah
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Re: Outsider humor thread
I have a similar hunch, but one that involves Alex carrying an unconscious Fireblade away from where she falls after dispatching one too many hard-troops with her psi-fry capability.G. Janssen wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:47 pm. . . I wouldn't be surprised that Fireblade is the one who comes to Alex's rescue. Because imho there's nobody aboard that shuttle / Umiak tub who understands the value of life as much as Fireblade does. And also because of another reason. But maybe I'm completely wrong. We'll see.
“Qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.” -- Attributed to many
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Re: Outsider humor thread
We agree on that. Great minds think alike.Keklas Rekobah wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 8:06 pmI have a similar hunch, but one that involves Alex carrying an unconscious Fireblade away from where she falls after dispatching one too many hard-troops with her psi-fry capability.G. Janssen wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 4:47 pm. . . I wouldn't be surprised that Fireblade is the one who comes to Alex's rescue. Because imho there's nobody aboard that shuttle / Umiak tub who understands the value of life as much as Fireblade does. And also because of another reason. But maybe I'm completely wrong. We'll see.

SpoilerShow
Here's a few of my thoughts.
I think that they're going to find an unpleasant surprise on that ship. And also find an answer to how the bugs managed to track Tempest and find the shuttle. The answer to that question is what will cause the crisis between Alex and the Loroi.
I think that they're going to find an unpleasant surprise on that ship. And also find an answer to how the bugs managed to track Tempest and find the shuttle. The answer to that question is what will cause the crisis between Alex and the Loroi.
Re: Outsider humor thread
As to how they found the shuttle, that's elementary. The shuttle was actively maneuvering when the umiaks were already in the system, which meant it was clearly visible on the sensors. Having its trajectory and knowing the speed at the time of its disappearance from the radar, calculating the area where it should be at the current time is a task for a first grader.
The camouflage was designed not to give the umiak a reason to intensify the search, in the expectation that the attackers already had enough worries to fly behind every suspicious fragment, and not that they would not find it if they wanted to.
Well, they wanted to.
The camouflage was designed not to give the umiak a reason to intensify the search, in the expectation that the attackers already had enough worries to fly behind every suspicious fragment, and not that they would not find it if they wanted to.
Well, they wanted to.
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Re: Outsider humor thread
It's interesting how Bellarmine was attacked by a lone Umiak ship far away from the combat zone and Tempo told Alex during their convo on Tempest's bridge that the enemy had 'dispersed' in the system. Why would the Umiak break up their formations and spread out? Unless they were searching for something. Something that they knew would arrive soon.
Re: Outsider humor thread
The comic is silent on who actually blew up the Bell.G. Janssen wrote: ↑Mon Apr 25, 2022 12:17 amIt's interesting how Bellarmine was attacked by a lone Umiak ship far away from the combat zone and Tempo told Alex during their convo on Tempest's bridge that the enemy had 'dispersed' in the system. Why would the Umiak break up their formations and spread out? Unless they were searching for something. Something that they knew would arrive soon.
Alex did make a sworn oath of vengeance though to find them and make them pay. Alex also noted the color of the beam that hit them, and Tempo looked at the Historian suspiciously since the beam sounded a lot like the weapons Historians use, to which the Historian kind of nervously said, other races use that color of beam too, which is true.
Re: Outsider humor thread
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, click link.
- Keklas Rekobah
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Re: Outsider humor thread
The clues are all there.
“Qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.” -- Attributed to many
Re: Outsider humor thread
"Alex also noted the color of the beam that hit them, and Tempo looked at the Historian suspiciously since the beam sounded a lot like the weapons Historians use"
Yeah, I picked up on that too. I think the idea that the Umiak did it is a red herring, and also a plot device (nice for generating tension between the Lorio and Alex).
Er, Janssen, why do you spoiler your own speculations? I happen to agree with your reasoning, in fact, the laws of narrative tension practically demand it (otherwise this just becomes an action sequence alone, and that's boring).
I have a speculation of my own: Beryl turns out to be less trustworthy than she appears to be. For no other reason than because that would be quite the twist.
Yeah, I picked up on that too. I think the idea that the Umiak did it is a red herring, and also a plot device (nice for generating tension between the Lorio and Alex).
Er, Janssen, why do you spoiler your own speculations? I happen to agree with your reasoning, in fact, the laws of narrative tension practically demand it (otherwise this just becomes an action sequence alone, and that's boring).
I have a speculation of my own: Beryl turns out to be less trustworthy than she appears to be. For no other reason than because that would be quite the twist.
Re: Outsider humor thread
Beryl also has the memory to point out flaws in whatever Alex has said and done.
And she can "prove" it (for those who trust her Sanzai and can "hear" her Sanzai.
And she can "prove" it (for those who trust her Sanzai and can "hear" her Sanzai.
The Ur-Quan Masters finally gets a continuation of the story! Late backing possible, click link.
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Re: Outsider humor thread
Arioch, feel free to remove in case I'm right. Feel free to undo the spoilers in case I'm crazy.Demarquis wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 11:28 pm"Alex also noted the color of the beam that hit them, and Tempo looked at the Historian suspiciously since the beam sounded a lot like the weapons Historians use"
Yeah, I picked up on that too. I think the idea that the Umiak did it is a red herring, and also a plot device (nice for generating tension between the Lorio and Alex).
Er, Janssen, why do you spoiler your own speculations? I happen to agree with your reasoning, in fact, the laws of narrative tension practically demand it (otherwise this just becomes an action sequence alone, and that's boring).
I have a speculation of my own: Beryl turns out to be less trustworthy than she appears to be. For no other reason than because that would be quite the twist.
SpoilerShow
The ship that fires at Bellarmine has what looks like two engine exhausts, while the Historians use a reactionless drive.
The Historians might know of the existence of Earth and the origin of the Loroi, but how would they know that Bellarmine had arrived?
The Umiak had dispersed in the system. Why? I think they were looking for something. More pink Loroi to be exact. This indicates they can see humans.
The weapons that the Umiak use during the battle of Naam have a greenish tint.
The Stray's fleet carries lotai projectors. The battles of Naam are a test of their effectiveness.
The Stray's message begins with a lie, becomes a taunt, turns into a boast. Very telling is his laughter at the end when Stillstorm fires the missile.
The lie and taunt are to piss off Stillstorm. The boast is because he knows the Loroi won't believe him if he tells them what will happen. He knows that by the time that they realize that he was speaking the truth they will slap their foreheads, because they have again been deceived, adding insult to injury that way.
The laughter indicates that he has already gotten from the ship what he wanted: more pink Loroi corpses for his lotai projectors. He got the first from the first scout that was destroyed. The star maps indicate that Umiak space is closer to Earth than Loroi space, so the scout that went up would've made contact first. I believe that Bellarmine is the second from the top and that two more scouts will hit Union space soon. The scouts are spread out.
There were three battles in Naam. The first two fast attack groups suffered heavy losses because the Loroi couldn't see the Umiak. Bellarmine arrived during a battle. Even if Bellarmine had arrived during the first battle, they couldn't be the source of the Lotai projectors, because the Umiak already had them.
The Stray's message betrays that he has intricate knowledge of Loroi minds. That and the fact that his fleet have the projectors, indicates to me that he is involved with the science division that the Umiak must have in order to counter the Loroi's only strategic advantage.
He's a war criminal. Someone who has done extensive research on Loroi brains and minds. And who has experimented on them. It would be strange if the Hierarchy does not have a science divicion to counter the farseers.
The message was sent to piss off Stillstorm. The message indicates that he knows her a bit. By pissing her off, taunting her, making her suspicious of the pinkie, he hoped she would dump the other pink loroi corpses and the one who's still alive. She has the tendency to get rid of things that she hates. He knows that she does. Study your enemies. And she falls for it and dumps them.
"Let's follow the Stormwitch." The Stray thinks. No biggie. They can't see us. But I can see them. We can follow them on a parallel path. Thanks to pinkie.
The Umiak's salvage operation of Bellarmine was interrupted by Tempest's approach. Why didn't Tempest notice the Umiak ship? Lotai projector perhaps?
Just like the farseers in their amplifiers can see other telepaths better than non telepaths, the reanimated human brains in the lotai projectors can see humans. It's how they found Bellarmine. It's how they can track Alex and how they found the shuttle.
The ship that captured the shuttle carries more Umiak than the Loroi suspect. It's a trap. They were after the corpses, but know there's at least one more person aboard.
There are no survivors from the first scout. If there were, they would've been tortured to reveal the position of Earth and the Umiak would've gone to Earth to harvest humans to cloak all their ships. What's a few months more in a war that's been going on for 25 years? But they're in a hurry. Reanimated brains have a short shelf life.
After the first scout made contact with the Umiak it was destroyed because the Umiak thought they were Loroi. But they were pink and brown, capt'n! Yeah, you're right. Let's go collect a bunch! Perhaps the science division can tell us more or use em.
The Historians might know of the existence of Earth and the origin of the Loroi, but how would they know that Bellarmine had arrived?
The Umiak had dispersed in the system. Why? I think they were looking for something. More pink Loroi to be exact. This indicates they can see humans.
The weapons that the Umiak use during the battle of Naam have a greenish tint.
The Stray's fleet carries lotai projectors. The battles of Naam are a test of their effectiveness.
The Stray's message begins with a lie, becomes a taunt, turns into a boast. Very telling is his laughter at the end when Stillstorm fires the missile.
The lie and taunt are to piss off Stillstorm. The boast is because he knows the Loroi won't believe him if he tells them what will happen. He knows that by the time that they realize that he was speaking the truth they will slap their foreheads, because they have again been deceived, adding insult to injury that way.
The laughter indicates that he has already gotten from the ship what he wanted: more pink Loroi corpses for his lotai projectors. He got the first from the first scout that was destroyed. The star maps indicate that Umiak space is closer to Earth than Loroi space, so the scout that went up would've made contact first. I believe that Bellarmine is the second from the top and that two more scouts will hit Union space soon. The scouts are spread out.
There were three battles in Naam. The first two fast attack groups suffered heavy losses because the Loroi couldn't see the Umiak. Bellarmine arrived during a battle. Even if Bellarmine had arrived during the first battle, they couldn't be the source of the Lotai projectors, because the Umiak already had them.
The Stray's message betrays that he has intricate knowledge of Loroi minds. That and the fact that his fleet have the projectors, indicates to me that he is involved with the science division that the Umiak must have in order to counter the Loroi's only strategic advantage.
He's a war criminal. Someone who has done extensive research on Loroi brains and minds. And who has experimented on them. It would be strange if the Hierarchy does not have a science divicion to counter the farseers.
The message was sent to piss off Stillstorm. The message indicates that he knows her a bit. By pissing her off, taunting her, making her suspicious of the pinkie, he hoped she would dump the other pink loroi corpses and the one who's still alive. She has the tendency to get rid of things that she hates. He knows that she does. Study your enemies. And she falls for it and dumps them.
"Let's follow the Stormwitch." The Stray thinks. No biggie. They can't see us. But I can see them. We can follow them on a parallel path. Thanks to pinkie.
The Umiak's salvage operation of Bellarmine was interrupted by Tempest's approach. Why didn't Tempest notice the Umiak ship? Lotai projector perhaps?
Just like the farseers in their amplifiers can see other telepaths better than non telepaths, the reanimated human brains in the lotai projectors can see humans. It's how they found Bellarmine. It's how they can track Alex and how they found the shuttle.
The ship that captured the shuttle carries more Umiak than the Loroi suspect. It's a trap. They were after the corpses, but know there's at least one more person aboard.
There are no survivors from the first scout. If there were, they would've been tortured to reveal the position of Earth and the Umiak would've gone to Earth to harvest humans to cloak all their ships. What's a few months more in a war that's been going on for 25 years? But they're in a hurry. Reanimated brains have a short shelf life.
After the first scout made contact with the Umiak it was destroyed because the Umiak thought they were Loroi. But they were pink and brown, capt'n! Yeah, you're right. Let's go collect a bunch! Perhaps the science division can tell us more or use em.