Outsider humor thread

[Keklas Rekobah]

Q: What do you call it when Fireblade is having a fun day?

SpoilerShow

A: The Great Umiak Massacre.

[Keklas Rekobah]

Q: What is the difference between Fireblade and a handgun?

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A: The handgun has only one trigger.

[Keklas Rekobah]

Beryl: <query how know you when Alex speaking smart>

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Fireblade: <first words "Loroi says to me">

[gaerzi]

Beryl: <query how know you when Alex speaking smart>

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Fireblade: <first words "Loroi says to me">

Alex speaking always smarts

[Snoofman]

How do you discipline an ill-mannered Loroi?

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Beat some sense into her!

[Demarquis]

I don't get that one.

[G. Janssen]

I don't get that one.

That's because it's not a joke.

Sarah, Miyuki and Fatima were talking about educating their husbands.

"I told my husband that he had to wash and iron his own laundry from now on. First week, I saw nothing. Second week, I still saw nothing. Third week he finally started doing it because he had no clean clothes left. I now have that extra time to play Farmville," Sarah said.

"Well, I told my husband that he would have to cook dinner from now on. First day, I saw nothing. Second day, I still saw nothing, but on the third day, he began cooking dinner because he was starving. That gives me more time to spend his money doing online shopping," Miyuki said.

"I told my husband that he had to buy the groceries from now on. First day, I saw nothing. Second day, I still saw nothing. Third day, I could see a bit with my left eye again because the swelling began to subside," Fatima said.

[Snoofman]

I don't get that one.

That's because it's not a joke.

Sarah, Miyuki and Fatima were talking about educating their husbands.

"I told my husband that he had to wash and iron his own laundry from now on. First week, I saw nothing. Second week, I still saw nothing. Third week he finally started doing it because he had no clean clothes left. I now have that extra time to play Farmville," Sarah said.

"Well, I told my husband that he would have to cook dinner from now on. First day, I saw nothing. Second day, I still saw nothing, but on the third day, he began cooking dinner because he was starving. That gives me more time to spend his money doing online shopping," Miyuki said.

"I told my husband that he had to buy the groceries from now on. First day, I saw nothing. Second day, I still saw nothing. Third day, I could see a bit with my left eye again because the swelling began to subside," Fatima said.

Well…… damn. I suddenly feel depressed.

[G. Janssen]

Well…… damn. I suddenly feel depressed.

Is it because we don't get your joke or because you identify yourself with the first and second husband in mine?

[Snoofman]

Well…… damn. I suddenly feel depressed.

Is it because we don't get your joke or because you identify yourself with the first and second husband in mine?

Ooooooooh… cancer boat.

[Demarquis]

Sorry guys, but still not laughing.

[Kelvandos]

Lori dont tell chuck norris jokes. they have Fireblade ones instead..

Fireblades sanza is so strong, she can reach around the world and smack the back of her own head..

[Krulle]

Fireblade is like Google. Wrong questions will give hits.

[D-503]

Slightly offtopic since it doesn´t apply to the outsiderverse, but i had to chuckle when i saw it:

[Snoofman]

Slightly offtopic since it doesn´t apply to the outsiderverse, but i had to chuckle when i saw it:

That's a good one

[Snoofman]

Here is some more inscrutable Loroi humor:
What is the one thing an insane Loroi is good at making?

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No sense

[Snoofman]

How do you civilize a Nissek?

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Teach it to eat tofu.

[Krulle]

Oh, that poor Nissek!

[Urist]

Why are the Mizol, who specialize in TK precision fine enough to pinch off nerves and blood vessels, categorized as "Intelligence Agents?"

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Because they target hearts & minds!

--

One night in the shuttle, Alex wakes up screaming. What terrible nightmare had he had?

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Fireblade: "I see you're finally awake."

--

Sitting apart from the group, Fireblade gazes 1000 yards off into the distance, a single tear running down her cheek.

Tempo: <A memory troubles you, Leinnol?>

Fireblade: <This boarding action reminded me of one of my earliest missions in the War. A true tragedy, that one. My raiding squadron infiltrated a Umiak system and blew past its defenders, leaving only death and destruction in our wake. I was assigned to board and inspect a destroyed Umiak freighter. It turned out to be full of Umiak civilians fleeing the system, all dead by depressurization. The cargo holds were full, the bridge was full, the engineering spaces were full. Umiaks of all ages, dead and curled up in agony.> A second tear joins the first, and she wipes them away with a trembling hand.

Tempo: <...Such empathy is impress—>

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Fireblade: <But the worst part was, the hangar was empty!>

[Snoofman]

Why are the Mizol, who specialize in TK precision fine enough to pinch off nerves and blood vessels, categorized as "Intelligence Agents?"

SpoilerShow

Because they target hearts & minds!

--

One night in the shuttle, Alex wakes up screaming. What terrible nightmare had he had?

SpoilerShow

Fireblade: "I see you're finally awake."

--

Sitting apart from the group, Fireblade gazes 1000 yards off into the distance, a single tear running down her cheek.

Tempo: <A memory troubles you, Leinnol?>

Fireblade: <This boarding action reminded me of one of my earliest missions in the War. A true tragedy, that one. My raiding squadron infiltrated a Umiak system and blew past its defenders, leaving only death and destruction in our wake. I was assigned to board and inspect a destroyed Umiak freighter. It turned out to be full of Umiak civilians fleeing the system, all dead by depressurization. The cargo holds were full, the bridge was full, the engineering spaces were full. Umiaks of all ages, dead and curled up in agony.> A second tear joins the first, and she wipes them away with a trembling hand.

Tempo: <...Such empathy is impress—>

SpoilerShow

Fireblade: <But the worst part was, the hangar was empty!>

That last one was dark af!

But still funny!